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<h2> VIII. Is Prohibition Coming to England? </h2>
<p>IN the United States and Canada the principal topic of polite conversation
is now prohibition. At every dinner party the serving of the cocktails
immediately introduces the subject: the rest of the dinner is enlivened
throughout with the discussion of rum-runners, bootleggers, storage of
liquor and the State constitution of New Jersey. Under this influence all
social and conversational values are shifted and rearranged. A "scholarly"
man no longer means a man who can talk well on literary subjects but a man
who understands the eighteenth amendment and can explain the legal
difference between implementing statutes such as the Volstead Act and the
underlying state legislation. A "scientist" (invaluable in these
conversations) is a man who can make clear the distinction between
alcoholic percentages by bulk and by weight. And a "brilliant engineer"
means a man who explains how to make homebrewed beer with a kick in it.
Similarly, a "raconteur" means a man who has a fund of amusing stories
about "bootleggers" and an "interesting traveller" means a man who has
been to Havana and can explain how wet it is. Indeed, the whole conception
of travel and of interest in foreign countries is now altered: as soon as
any one mentions that he has been in a foreign country, all the company
ask in one breath, "Is it dry?" The question "How is Samoa?" or "How is
Turkey?" or "How is British Columbia?" no longer refers to the climate or
natural resources: it means "Is the place dry?" When such a question is
asked and the answer is "It's wet," there is a deep groan all around the
table.</p>
<p>I understand that when the recent disarmament conference met at Washington
just as the members were going to sit down at the table Monsieur Briand
said to President Harding, "How dry is the United States, anyway?" And the
whole assembly talked about it for half an hour. That was why the first
newspaper bulletins merely said, "Conference exchanges credentials."</p>
<p>As a discoverer of England I therefore made it one of my chief cares to
try to obtain accurate information of this topic. I was well aware that
immediately on my return to Canada the first question I would be asked
would be "Is England going dry?" I realised that in any report I might
make to the National Geographical Society or to the Political Science
Association, the members of these bodies, being scholars, would want
accurate information about the price of whiskey, the percentage of
alcohol, and the hours of opening and closing the saloons.</p>
<p>My first impression on the subject was, I must say, one of severe moral
shock. Landing in England after spending the summer in Ontario, it seemed
a terrible thing to see people openly drinking on an English train. On an
Ontario train, as everybody knows, there is no way of taking a drink
except by climbing up on the roof, lying flat on one's stomach, and taking
a suck out of a flask. But in England in any dining car one actually sees
a waiter approach a person dining and say, "Beer, sir, or wine?" This is
done in broad daylight with no apparent sense of criminality or moral
shame. Appalling though it sounds, bottled ale is openly sold on the
trains at twenty-five cents a bottle and dry sherry at eighteen cents a
glass.</p>
<p>When I first saw this I expected to see the waiter arrested on the spot. I
looked around to see if there were any "spotters," detectives, or secret
service men on the train. I anticipated that the train conductor would
appear and throw the waiter off the car. But then I realised that I was in
England and that in the British Isles they still tolerate the consumption
of alcohol. Indeed, I doubt if they are even aware that they are
"consuming alcohol." Their impression is that they are drinking beer.</p>
<p>At the beginning of my discussion I will therefore preface a few exact
facts and statistics for the use of geographical societies, learned bodies
and government commissions. The quantity of beer consumed in England in a
given period is about 200,000,000 gallons. The life of a bottle of Scotch
whiskey is seven seconds. The number of public houses, or "pubs," in the
English countryside is one to every half mile. The percentage of the
working classes drinking beer is 125: the percentage of the class without
work drinking beer is 200.</p>
<p>Statistics like these do not, however, give a final answer to the
question, "Is prohibition coming to England?" They merely show that it is
not there now. The question itself will be answered in as many different
ways as there are different kinds of people. Any prohibitionist will tell
you that the coming of prohibition to England is as certain as the coming
eclipse of the sun. But this is always so. It is in human nature that
people are impressed by the cause they work in. I once knew a minister of
the Scotch Church who took a voyage round the world: he said that the
thing that impressed him most was the growth of presbyterianism in Japan.
No doubt it did. When the Orillia lacrosse team took their trip to
Australia, they said on their return that lacrosse was spreading all over
the world. In the same way there is said to be a spread all over the world
of Christian Science, proportional representation, militarism, peace
sentiment, barbarism, altruism, psychoanalysis and death from wood
alcohol. They are what are called world movements.</p>
<p>My own judgment in regard to prohibition in the British Isles is this: In
Scotland, prohibition is not coming: if anything, it is going. In Ireland,
prohibition will only be introduced when they have run out of other forms
of trouble. But in England I think that prohibition could easily come
unless the English people realise where they are drifting and turn back.
They are in the early stage of the movement already.</p>
<p>Turning first to Scotland, there is no fear, I say, that prohibition will
be adopted there: and this from the simple reason that the Scotch do not
drink. I have elsewhere alluded to the extraordinary misapprehension that
exists in regard to the Scotch people and their sense of humour. I find a
similar popular error in regard to the use of whiskey by the Scotch.
Because they manufacture the best whiskey in the world, the Scotch, in
popular fancy, are often thought to be addicted to the drinking of it.
This is purely a delusion. During the whole of two or three pleasant weeks
spent in lecturing in Scotland, I never on any occasion saw whiskey made
use of as a beverage. I have seen people take it, of course, as a
medicine, or as a precaution, or as a wise offset against a rather
treacherous climate; but as a beverage, never.</p>
<p>The manner and circumstance of their offering whiskey to a stranger amply
illustrates their point of view towards it. Thus at my first lecture in
Glasgow where I was to appear before a large and fashionable audience, the
chairman said to me in the committee room that he was afraid that there
might be a draft on the platform. Here was a serious matter. For a
lecturer who has to earn his living by his occupation, a draft on the
platform is not a thing to be disregarded. It might kill him. Nor is it
altogether safe for the chairman himself, a man already in middle life, to
be exposed to a current of cold air. In this case, therefore, the chairman
suggested that he thought it might be "prudent"—that was his word,
"prudent"—if I should take a small drop of whiskey before
encountering the draft. In return I told him that I could not think of his
accompanying me to the platform unless he would let me insist on his
taking a very reasonable precaution. Whiskey taken on these terms not only
seems like a duty but it tastes better.</p>
<p>In the same way I find that in Scotland it is very often necessary to take
something to drink on purely meteorological grounds. The weather simply
cannot be trusted. A man might find that on "going out into the weather"
he is overwhelmed by a heavy fog or an avalanche of snow or a driving
storm of rain. In such a case a mere drop of whiskey might save his life.
It would be folly not to take it. Again,—"coming in out of the
weather" is a thing not to be trifled with. A person coming in unprepared
and unprotected might be seized with angina pectoris or appendicitis and
die upon the spot. No reasonable person would refuse the simple precaution
of taking a small drop immediately after his entry.</p>
<p>I find that, classified altogether, there are seventeen reasons advanced
in Scotland for taking whiskey. They run as follows: Reason one, because
it is raining; Two, because it is not raining; Three, because you are just
going out into the weather; Four, because you have just come in from the
weather; Five; no, I forget the ones that come after that. But I remember
that reason number seventeen is "because it canna do ye any harm." On the
whole, reason seventeen is the best.</p>
<p>Put in other words this means that the Scotch make use of whiskey with
dignity and without shame: and they never call it alcohol.</p>
<p>In England the case is different. Already the English are showing the
first signs that indicate the possible approach of prohibition. Already
all over England there are weird regulations about the closing hours of
the public houses. They open and close according to the varying
regulations of the municipality. In some places they open at six in the
morning, close down for an hour from nine till ten, open then till noon,
shut for ten minutes, and so on; in some places they are open in the
morning and closed in the evening; in other places they are open in the
evening and closed in the morning. The ancient idea was that a wayside
public house was a place of sustenance and comfort, a human need that
might be wanted any hour. It was in the same class with the life boat or
the emergency ambulance. Under the old common law the innkeeper must
supply meat and drink at any hour. If he was asleep the traveller might
wake him. And in those days meat and drink were regarded in the same
light. Note how great the change is. In modern life in England there is
nothing that you dare wake up a man for except gasoline. The mere fact
that you need a drink is no longer held to entitle you to break his rest.</p>
<p>In London especially one feels the full force of the "closing"
regulations. The bars open and shut at intervals like daisies blinking at
the sun. And like the flowers at evening they close their petals with the
darkness. In London they have already adopted the deadly phrases of the
prohibitionist, such as "alcohol" and "liquor traffic" and so on: and
already the "sale of spirits" stops absolutely at about eleven o'clock at
night.</p>
<p>This means that after theatre hours London is a "city of dreadful night."
The people from the theatre scuttle to their homes. The lights are
extinguished in the windows. The streets darken. Only a belated taxi still
moves. At midnight the place is deserted. At 1 A.M., the lingering
footfalls echo in the empty street. Here and there a restaurant in a
fashionable street makes a poor pretence of keeping open for after theatre
suppers. Odd people, the shivering wrecks of theatre parties, are huddled
here and there. A gloomy waiter lays a sardine on the table. The guests
charge their glasses with Perrier Water, Lithia Water, Citrate of
Magnesia, or Bromo Seltzer. They eat the sardine and vanish into the
night. Not even Oshkosh, Wisconsin, or Middlebury, Vermont, is quieter
than is the night life of London. It may no doubt seem a wise thing to go
to bed early.</p>
<p>But it is a terrible thing to go to bed early by Act of Parliament.</p>
<p>All of which means that the people of England are not facing the
prohibition question fairly and squarely. If they see no harm in
"consuming alcohol" they ought to say so and let their code of regulations
reflect the fact. But the "closing" and "regulating" and "squeezing" of
the "liquor traffic", without any outspoken protest, means letting the
whole case go by default. Under these circumstances an organised and
active minority can always win and impose its will upon the crowd.</p>
<p>When I was in England I amused myself one day by writing an imaginary
picture of what England will be like when the last stage is reached and
London goes the way of New York and Chicago. I cast it in the form of a
letter from an American prohibitionist in which he describes the final
triumph of prohibition in England. With the permission of the reader I
reproduce it here:</p>
<p>THE ADVENT OF PROHIBITION IN ENGLAND<br/>
<br/>
As written in the correspondence of an American visitor<br/>
<br/>
How glad I am that I have lived to see this wonderful reform<br/>
of prohibition at last accomplished in England. There is<br/>
something so difficult about the British, so stolid, so hard<br/>
to move.<br/>
<br/>
We tried everything in the great campaign that we made, and<br/>
for ever so long it didn't seem to work. We had processions,<br/>
just as we did at home in America, with great banners<br/>
carried round bearing the inscription: "Do you want to save<br/>
the boy?" But these people looked on and said, "Boy? Boy?<br/>
What boy?" Our workers were almost disheartened. "Oh, sir,"<br/>
said one of them, an ex-barkeeper from Oklahoma, "it does<br/>
seem so hard that we have total prohibition in the States<br/>
and here they can get all the drink they want." And the good<br/>
fellow broke down and sobbed.<br/>
<br/>
But at last it has come. After the most terrific efforts we<br/>
managed to get this nation stampeded, and for more than a<br/>
month now England has been dry. I wish you could have<br/>
witnessed the scenes, just like what we saw at home in<br/>
America, when it was known that the bill had passed. The<br/>
members of the House of Lords all stood up on their seats<br/>
and yelled, "Rah! Rah! Rah! Who's bone dry? We are!" And the<br/>
brewers and innkeepers were emptying their barrels of beer<br/>
into the Thames just as at St. Louis they emptied the beer<br/>
into the Mississippi.<br/>
<br/>
I can't tell you with what pleasure I watched a group of<br/>
members of the Athenaeum Club sitting on the bank of the<br/>
Thames and opening bottles of champagne and pouring them<br/>
into the river. "To think," said one of them to me, "that<br/>
there was a time when I used to lap up a couple of quarts of<br/>
this terrible stuff every evening." I got him to give me a<br/>
few bottles as a souvenir, and I got some more souvenirs,<br/>
whiskey and liqueurs, when the members of the Beefsteak Club<br/>
were emptying out their cellars into Green Street; so when<br/>
you come over, I shall still be able, of course, to give you<br/>
a drink.<br/>
<br/>
We have, as I said, been bone dry only a month, and yet<br/>
already we are getting the same splendid results as in<br/>
America. All the big dinners are now as refined and as<br/>
elevating and the dinner speeches as long and as informal as<br/>
they are in New York or Toronto. The other night at a dinner<br/>
at the White Friars Club I heard Sir Owen Seaman speaking,<br/>
not in that light futile way that he used to have, but quite<br/>
differently. He talked for over an hour and a half on the<br/>
State ownership of the Chinese Railway System, and I almost<br/>
fancied myself back in Boston.<br/>
<br/>
And the working class too. It is just wonderful how<br/>
prohibition has increased their efficiency. In the old days<br/>
they used to drop their work the moment the hour struck. Now<br/>
they simply refuse to do so. I noticed yesterday a foreman<br/>
in charge of a building operation vainly trying to call the<br/>
bricklayers down. "Come, come, gentlemen," he shouted, "I<br/>
must insist on your stopping for the night." But they just<br/>
went on laying bricks faster than ever.<br/>
<br/>
Of course, as yet there are a few slight difficulties and<br/>
deficiencies, just as there are with us in America. We have<br/>
had the same trouble with wood-alcohol (they call it<br/>
methylated spirit here), with the same deplorable results.<br/>
On some days the list of deaths is very serious, and in some<br/>
cases we are losing men we can hardly spare. A great many of<br/>
our leading actors—in fact, most of them—are dead. And there<br/>
has been a heavy loss, too, among the literary class and in<br/>
the legal profession.<br/>
<br/>
There was a very painful scene last week at the dinner of<br/>
the Benchers of Gray's Inn. It seems that one of the chief<br/>
justices had undertaken to make home brew for the Benchers,<br/>
just as the people do on our side of the water. He got one<br/>
of the waiters to fetch him some hops and three raw<br/>
potatoes, a packet of yeast and some boiling water. In the<br/>
end, four of the Benchers were carried out dead. But they<br/>
are going to give them a public funeral in the Abbey.<br/>
<br/>
I regret to say that the death list in the Royal Navy is<br/>
very heavy. Some of the best sailors are gone, and it is<br/>
very difficult to keep admirals. But I have tried to explain<br/>
to the people here that these are merely the things that one<br/>
must expect, and that, with a little patience, they will<br/>
have bone-dry admirals and bone-dry statesmen just as good<br/>
as the wet ones. Even the clergy can be dried up with<br/>
firmness and perseverance.<br/>
<br/>
There was also a slight sensation here when the Chancellor<br/>
of the Exchequer brought in his first appropriation for<br/>
maintaining prohibition. From our point of view in America,<br/>
it was modest enough. But these people are not used to it.<br/>
The Chancellor merely asked for ten million pounds a month<br/>
to begin on; he explained that his task was heavy; he has to<br/>
police, not only the entire coast, but also the interior;<br/>
for the Grampian Hills of Scotland alone he asked a million.<br/>
There was a good deal of questioning in the House over these<br/>
figures. The Chancellor was asked if he intended to keep a<br/>
hired spy at every street corner in London. He answered,<br/>
"No, only on every other street." He added also that every<br/>
spy must wear a brass collar with his number.<br/>
<br/>
I must admit further, and I am sorry to have to tell you<br/>
this, that now we have prohibition it is becoming<br/>
increasingly difficult to get a drink. In fact, sometimes,<br/>
especially in the very early morning, it is most<br/>
inconvenient and almost impossible. The public houses being<br/>
closed, it is necessary to go into a drug store—just as it<br/>
is with us—and lean up against the counter and make a<br/>
gurgling sound like apoplexy. One often sees these apoplexy<br/>
cases lined up four deep.<br/>
<br/>
But the people are finding substitutes, just as they do with<br/>
us. There is a tremendous run on patent medicines, perfume,<br/>
glue and nitric acid. It has been found that Shears' soap<br/>
contains alcohol, and one sees people everywhere eating<br/>
cakes of it. The upper classes have taken to chewing tobacco<br/>
very considerably, and the use of opium in the House of<br/>
Lords has very greatly increased.<br/>
<br/>
But I don't want you to think that if you come over here to<br/>
see me, your private life will be in any way impaired or<br/>
curtailed. I am glad to say that I have plenty of rich<br/>
connections whose cellars are very amply stocked. The Duke<br/>
of Blank is said to have 5,000 cases of Scotch whiskey, and<br/>
I have managed to get a card of introduction to his butler.<br/>
In fact you will find that, just as with us in America, the<br/>
benefit of prohibition is intended to fall on the poorer<br/>
classes. There is no desire to interfere with the rich.<br/></p>
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