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Born Again

CHAPTER XXXIII Arrested for the murder of Arletta Fogg, after being positively identified by the elevator attendant and the night watchman as being the only person who visited her apartments on the night of the crime, was the next incident of my strange career. Thrown into prison, and caged like a savage beast in a little cell hardly large enough to turn around in, has been my lot ever since that awful tragedy. The case attracted widespread interest, and the newspapers teemed with sensational accounts of it. At the trial, all of the evidence pointed directly to me as the perpetrator of the deed. The elevator operator swore that I was the man whom he had taken to Arletta's apartments shortly after eleven o'clock that night. The watchman testified that he saw me leave her room at three o'clock in the morning. On the stand, I was made to tell, under oath, that Arletta and I had been lovers; that we had been together that same night in the park, and had parted at about half past ten o'clock; that she had informed me of her intention to never see me again. By these statements the prosecuting attorney showed the motive for the crime. I could give no account of my time between half past ten that night and the next day at noon, which was another strong point against me. I had pleaded not guilty, feeling that as I knew nothing about the crime I could not very wisely do otherwise, but also, stating that I had suffered a temporary aberration of the mind during that time, and that if I really did commit the deed, which I could not believe possible, then I had done it in an entirely different character or personality from my normal self. My attorney endeavored to have me sham insanity during the trial, and he became irritably insolent in his manner toward me because I positively refused to do so. He told me that if I stuck to the truth I would surely be convicted, but if I followed his advice by openly assuming idiotic tactics in court and making false statements under oath, according to his directions, he could save me without any trouble. He frequently growled and cursed at me for the straightforward way that I gave my testimony, claiming that his professional reputation was being ruined by my telling the truth. He privately acknowledged that, in his opinion, I was guilty, but that if he were successful in having me acquitted, he would achieve great fame thereby, and incidentally be able to increase the size of his future clients' fees. It was proved in court-alas, the saddest blow I had yet received, that Arletta was a frivolous young woman, who practically lived a life of ease and luxury, by monetary gifts derived from two wealthy men, one a United States Senator and the other a prominent Wall Street financier, both being high pillars of the Church, and one of them being old enough to be her grandfather. That was the most painful testimony of the whole proceedings. It did not seem possible to me that the dear, sweet, innocent girl, whom I had loved so much for her gentleness and kindness of nature, could possibly lead such a dual existence, and I could not understand why she should have deceived me, with accounts of herself so at variance with the facts. When I thought of her as she had always appeared to me, excepting those times when I saw her under the influence of liquor, she seemed like a good angel, who was far beyond even the suspicion of reproach; and so when I learned the worst, I pictured her at her best, and my love remained unshaken. While I realized that it was the poor girl's weakness that led her into temptation, still it was plain to discern that the cause of her downfall was money and the miserable creatures who utilized it to buy her very life's blood and drag her along the mire of shame. The poor girl is dead, but the great men, through whose efforts she was disgraced, are still alive, and are considered eminently respectable by both the Church and the community. The curse of money could not have been more forcibly demonstrated than by this incident. The unfortunate young woman craved money, and sold herself for it. My deepest sympathy goes after her to the grave. The finger of scorn is now raised against Arletta by the whole world, but if she could be brought back to life again, I should gladly take her by the hand and say, that my love for her was as strong as ever, and that I would defend her against the insults of the depraved society which reared and educated her in the vices which it now deplores. It took the jury just forty-five minutes to reach a decision against me. Ten minutes of this time, as I learned from newspaper accounts, were devoted to prayer, that the Almighty should point out the right way to decide the case. Evidently the god, to whom the jury prayed, demonstrated that it was their duty to convict me. For convict me they did, by bringing in a verdict of murder in the first degree. My sentence was that I pay the penalty of the crime with my life by being electrocuted. The trial was severe and brutal from beginning to end, from my point of view. I was bullied by the prosecutor, scathingly censured by the judge, libeled by the press, cursed by the public, and deserted by my own attorney. I was treated like a cowardly beast of the most depraved type. But with all the abuse that was heaped upon me, I endured it without a murmur, calmly claiming that I was not responsible for the deed, but perfectly willing to take any punishment the law meted out to me. There was one thing, however, which stood out prominently amidst the many shoals of my misfortune, which made me feel that I had not lived in vain. My faithful little band of followers, whom I had taught the principles of Natural Law, remained loyal to me until the very end. Not one member of the society was there who would believe that I was guilty of such an atrocious crime. They insisted that there was some mistake, and spent much time and money in trying to ferret out the mystery. They called upon me as often as the prison regulations would permit, and amid scenes that were touching, protested their undying fidelity to me and the cause I espoused. Each individual promised most solemnly to carry on the work I had begun as long as his life lasted, and I feel sure that, although the end of my time is drawing near, the work entrusted to me by the great Sagewoman is born again, and will grow to huge proportions as time passes on. And so I have come to the end of my story. Tomorrow I must die. In writing this book, I have tried to confine myself exclusively to the truth. I have felt all along, however, my inability to do the subject justice. There are many things that the great Sagewoman tried to impress upon me which my little brain was not strong enough to grasp. There are also many things which are perfectly clear in my mind, that I have been unable to convey to others, but I have done my best, and that is all that can be expected of any one. I should like to have given more attention to the arrangement of this work, but unfortunately the time allowed me has been very short, and I have had to rush it along in order to complete it. I have produced this treatise while confined within my cell in the death-house, and therefore have had many disadvantages to contend with. I shall give the manuscript to the little body of men and women who are banded together and known as the Natural Law Society, of which I had the honor to be the founder, with the understanding that it will be published and distributed at the earliest possible date. I could wish that the reader might peruse the contents of this work a second time, if it is not asking too much; at least that he might go over carefully and thoughtfully that portion of it which contains the teachings of the great Sagewoman. While I probably have failed to present clearly much of the great wisdom directly received from her magnificent brain, there may arise in the future, wise men, who will be capable of reading in these lines much more than even I, who write them, am able to comprehend. It is my one hope that great men will spring up in the future and take hold of this work--men with minds so strong, so broad, so courageous, and so unselfish, that they will be willing to devote their lives to the noble task of trying to put the whole human race on a footing of equality. There can be no equality so long as those who are strong want to take more of nature's gifts than those who are weak, and no man can ever be great who thinks that one human being is entitled to more than another. That is selfishness. Selfishness and greatness are the extreme opposites. This is my last day on earth, to use a common but erroneous expression. At noon today my soul will be separated from its body by the hand of man, acting according to a most unnatural, diabolical, and murderous law. And the poor unfortunate creature, who actually slays me, will do so, not because he has a thirst for blood, but for money. Money furnished by the State--a Christian civilization which bred and reared us both. I am now forty-four years old, and have just reached the threshold of mental strength. As I am in perfect condition physically, and have a splendid constitution as a foundation, there is no good reason why I could not have lived at least forty years more. Forty years longer could I have served the world at my very best, but my fellow beings have decided to kill me, right at a time when I could have been of the most use to them. I am really sorry that I must die, not because I fear death, but because my opportunity to do good to others is taken from me. Twenty-two years ago I was anxious to die, aye even by my own hand. I thought that there was nothing to live for at that time. But the beautiful teachings of the great Sagewoman awakened new ideas of responsibility within me, and now I can see that the grandest thing within the reach of a human being is to live; live as long as nature will allow; live for others. Natural Law teaches that it is idiotic to pray, and I believe that prayer is a form of insanity, but were I to pray, which I profess I have no idea of doing, my one request of the Creator would be that I might live out my life, in order to spread the principles of Natural Law to the furthermost corners of the earth; or, that I might be born again in a well-constructed body, with a mind capable of grasping nature's ideas in their entirety, and interpreting them to my fellow men in a way that could not be misunderstood. If the Creator would grant me this request, and I could have the ability and the power to change the conditions of the earth to those existing in Sageland before the Catastrophe, I would gladly give in exchange for the privilege, my eternal soul as a sacrifice, and take upon myself everlastingly, all of the misery, suffering, and torture now inflicted upon the rest of mankind. Good-bye, dear reader, and may your soul always guide you. END OF JOHN CONVERT'S WORK. Epilogue on following pages. <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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