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<h2> Chapter X </h2>
<p>The felicitous idea occurred to me a morning or two later when I woke,
that the best step I could take towards making myself uncommon was to get
out of Biddy everything she knew. In pursuance of this luminous conception
I mentioned to Biddy when I went to Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt's at night,
that I had a particular reason for wishing to get on in life, and that I
should feel very much obliged to her if she would impart all her learning
to me. Biddy, who was the most obliging of girls, immediately said she
would, and indeed began to carry out her promise within five minutes.</p>
<p>The Educational scheme or Course established by Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt
may be resolved into the following synopsis. The pupils ate apples and put
straws down one another's backs, until Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt collected
her energies, and made an indiscriminate totter at them with a birch-rod.
After receiving the charge with every mark of derision, the pupils formed
in line and buzzingly passed a ragged book from hand to hand. The book had
an alphabet in it, some figures and tables, and a little spelling,—that
is to say, it had had once. As soon as this volume began to circulate, Mr.
Wopsle's great-aunt fell into a state of coma, arising either from sleep
or a rheumatic paroxysm. The pupils then entered among themselves upon a
competitive examination on the subject of Boots, with the view of
ascertaining who could tread the hardest upon whose toes. This mental
exercise lasted until Biddy made a rush at them and distributed three
defaced Bibles (shaped as if they had been unskilfully cut off the chump
end of something), more illegibly printed at the best than any curiosities
of literature I have since met with, speckled all over with ironmould, and
having various specimens of the insect world smashed between their leaves.
This part of the Course was usually lightened by several single combats
between Biddy and refractory students. When the fights were over, Biddy
gave out the number of a page, and then we all read aloud what we could,—or
what we couldn't—in a frightful chorus; Biddy leading with a high,
shrill, monotonous voice, and none of us having the least notion of, or
reverence for, what we were reading about. When this horrible din had
lasted a certain time, it mechanically awoke Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt, who
staggered at a boy fortuitously, and pulled his ears. This was understood
to terminate the Course for the evening, and we emerged into the air with
shrieks of intellectual victory. It is fair to remark that there was no
prohibition against any pupil's entertaining himself with a slate or even
with the ink (when there was any), but that it was not easy to pursue that
branch of study in the winter season, on account of the little general
shop in which the classes were holden—and which was also Mr.
Wopsle's great-aunt's sitting-room and bedchamber—being but faintly
illuminated through the agency of one low-spirited dip-candle and no
snuffers.</p>
<p>It appeared to me that it would take time to become uncommon, under these
circumstances: nevertheless, I resolved to try it, and that very evening
Biddy entered on our special agreement, by imparting some information from
her little catalogue of Prices, under the head of moist sugar, and lending
me, to copy at home, a large old English D which she had imitated from the
heading of some newspaper, and which I supposed, until she told me what it
was, to be a design for a buckle.</p>
<p>Of course there was a public-house in the village, and of course Joe liked
sometimes to smoke his pipe there. I had received strict orders from my
sister to call for him at the Three Jolly Bargemen, that evening, on my
way from school, and bring him home at my peril. To the Three Jolly
Bargemen, therefore, I directed my steps.</p>
<p>There was a bar at the Jolly Bargemen, with some alarmingly long chalk
scores in it on the wall at the side of the door, which seemed to me to be
never paid off. They had been there ever since I could remember, and had
grown more than I had. But there was a quantity of chalk about our
country, and perhaps the people neglected no opportunity of turning it to
account.</p>
<p>It being Saturday night, I found the landlord looking rather grimly at
these records; but as my business was with Joe and not with him, I merely
wished him good evening, and passed into the common room at the end of the
passage, where there was a bright large kitchen fire, and where Joe was
smoking his pipe in company with Mr. Wopsle and a stranger. Joe greeted me
as usual with "Halloa, Pip, old chap!" and the moment he said that, the
stranger turned his head and looked at me.</p>
<p>He was a secret-looking man whom I had never seen before. His head was all
on one side, and one of his eyes was half shut up, as if he were taking
aim at something with an invisible gun. He had a pipe in his mouth, and he
took it out, and, after slowly blowing all his smoke away and looking hard
at me all the time, nodded. So, I nodded, and then he nodded again, and
made room on the settle beside him that I might sit down there.</p>
<p>But as I was used to sit beside Joe whenever I entered that place of
resort, I said "No, thank you, sir," and fell into the space Joe made for
me on the opposite settle. The strange man, after glancing at Joe, and
seeing that his attention was otherwise engaged, nodded to me again when I
had taken my seat, and then rubbed his leg—in a very odd way, as it
struck me.</p>
<p>"You was saying," said the strange man, turning to Joe, "that you was a
blacksmith."</p>
<p>"Yes. I said it, you know," said Joe.</p>
<p>"What'll you drink, Mr.—? You didn't mention your name, by the bye."</p>
<p>Joe mentioned it now, and the strange man called him by it. "What'll you
drink, Mr. Gargery? At my expense? To top up with?"</p>
<p>"Well," said Joe, "to tell you the truth, I ain't much in the habit of
drinking at anybody's expense but my own."</p>
<p>"Habit? No," returned the stranger, "but once and away, and on a Saturday
night too. Come! Put a name to it, Mr. Gargery."</p>
<p>"I wouldn't wish to be stiff company," said Joe. "Rum."</p>
<p>"Rum," repeated the stranger. "And will the other gentleman originate a
sentiment."</p>
<p>"Rum," said Mr. Wopsle.</p>
<p>"Three Rums!" cried the stranger, calling to the landlord. "Glasses
round!"</p>
<p>"This other gentleman," observed Joe, by way of introducing Mr. Wopsle,
"is a gentleman that you would like to hear give it out. Our clerk at
church."</p>
<p>"Aha!" said the stranger, quickly, and cocking his eye at me. "The lonely
church, right out on the marshes, with graves round it!"</p>
<p>"That's it," said Joe.</p>
<p>The stranger, with a comfortable kind of grunt over his pipe, put his legs
up on the settle that he had to himself. He wore a flapping broad-brimmed
traveller's hat, and under it a handkerchief tied over his head in the
manner of a cap: so that he showed no hair. As he looked at the fire, I
thought I saw a cunning expression, followed by a half-laugh, come into
his face.</p>
<p>"I am not acquainted with this country, gentlemen, but it seems a solitary
country towards the river."</p>
<p>"Most marshes is solitary," said Joe.</p>
<p>"No doubt, no doubt. Do you find any gypsies, now, or tramps, or vagrants
of any sort, out there?"</p>
<p>"No," said Joe; "none but a runaway convict now and then. And we don't
find them, easy. Eh, Mr. Wopsle?"</p>
<p>Mr. Wopsle, with a majestic remembrance of old discomfiture, assented; but
not warmly.</p>
<p>"Seems you have been out after such?" asked the stranger.</p>
<p>"Once," returned Joe. "Not that we wanted to take them, you understand; we
went out as lookers on; me, and Mr. Wopsle, and Pip. Didn't us, Pip?"</p>
<p>"Yes, Joe."</p>
<p>The stranger looked at me again,—still cocking his eye, as if he
were expressly taking aim at me with his invisible gun,—and said,
"He's a likely young parcel of bones that. What is it you call him?"</p>
<p>"Pip," said Joe.</p>
<p>"Christened Pip?"</p>
<p>"No, not christened Pip."</p>
<p>"Surname Pip?"</p>
<p>"No," said Joe, "it's a kind of family name what he gave himself when a
infant, and is called by."</p>
<p>"Son of yours?"</p>
<p>"Well," said Joe, meditatively, not, of course, that it could be in
anywise necessary to consider about it, but because it was the way at the
Jolly Bargemen to seem to consider deeply about everything that was
discussed over pipes,—"well—no. No, he ain't."</p>
<p>"Nevvy?" said the strange man.</p>
<p>"Well," said Joe, with the same appearance of profound cogitation, "he is
not—no, not to deceive you, he is not—my nevvy."</p>
<p>"What the Blue Blazes is he?" asked the stranger. Which appeared to me to
be an inquiry of unnecessary strength.</p>
<p>Mr. Wopsle struck in upon that; as one who knew all about relationships,
having professional occasion to bear in mind what female relations a man
might not marry; and expounded the ties between me and Joe. Having his
hand in, Mr. Wopsle finished off with a most terrifically snarling passage
from Richard the Third, and seemed to think he had done quite enough to
account for it when he added, "—as the poet says."</p>
<p>And here I may remark that when Mr. Wopsle referred to me, he considered
it a necessary part of such reference to rumple my hair and poke it into
my eyes. I cannot conceive why everybody of his standing who visited at
our house should always have put me through the same inflammatory process
under similar circumstances. Yet I do not call to mind that I was ever in
my earlier youth the subject of remark in our social family circle, but
some large-handed person took some such ophthalmic steps to patronize me.</p>
<p>All this while, the strange man looked at nobody but me, and looked at me
as if he were determined to have a shot at me at last, and bring me down.
But he said nothing after offering his Blue Blazes observation, until the
glasses of rum and water were brought; and then he made his shot, and a
most extraordinary shot it was.</p>
<p>It was not a verbal remark, but a proceeding in dumb-show, and was
pointedly addressed to me. He stirred his rum and water pointedly at me,
and he tasted his rum and water pointedly at me. And he stirred it and he
tasted it; not with a spoon that was brought to him, but with a file.</p>
<p>He did this so that nobody but I saw the file; and when he had done it he
wiped the file and put it in a breast-pocket. I knew it to be Joe's file,
and I knew that he knew my convict, the moment I saw the instrument. I sat
gazing at him, spell-bound. But he now reclined on his settle, taking very
little notice of me, and talking principally about turnips.</p>
<p>There was a delicious sense of cleaning-up and making a quiet pause before
going on in life afresh, in our village on Saturday nights, which
stimulated Joe to dare to stay out half an hour longer on Saturdays than
at other times. The half-hour and the rum and water running out together,
Joe got up to go, and took me by the hand.</p>
<p>"Stop half a moment, Mr. Gargery," said the strange man. "I think I've got
a bright new shilling somewhere in my pocket, and if I have, the boy shall
have it."</p>
<p>He looked it out from a handful of small change, folded it in some
crumpled paper, and gave it to me. "Yours!" said he. "Mind! Your own."</p>
<p>I thanked him, staring at him far beyond the bounds of good manners, and
holding tight to Joe. He gave Joe good-night, and he gave Mr. Wopsle
good-night (who went out with us), and he gave me only a look with his
aiming eye,—no, not a look, for he shut it up, but wonders may be
done with an eye by hiding it.</p>
<p>On the way home, if I had been in a humor for talking, the talk must have
been all on my side, for Mr. Wopsle parted from us at the door of the
Jolly Bargemen, and Joe went all the way home with his mouth wide open, to
rinse the rum out with as much air as possible. But I was in a manner
stupefied by this turning up of my old misdeed and old acquaintance, and
could think of nothing else.</p>
<p>My sister was not in a very bad temper when we presented ourselves in the
kitchen, and Joe was encouraged by that unusual circumstance to tell her
about the bright shilling. "A bad un, I'll be bound," said Mrs. Joe
triumphantly, "or he wouldn't have given it to the boy! Let's look at it."</p>
<p>I took it out of the paper, and it proved to be a good one. "But what's
this?" said Mrs. Joe, throwing down the shilling and catching up the
paper. "Two One-Pound notes?"</p>
<p>Nothing less than two fat sweltering one-pound notes that seemed to have
been on terms of the warmest intimacy with all the cattle-markets in the
county. Joe caught up his hat again, and ran with them to the Jolly
Bargemen to restore them to their owner. While he was gone, I sat down on
my usual stool and looked vacantly at my sister, feeling pretty sure that
the man would not be there.</p>
<p>Presently, Joe came back, saying that the man was gone, but that he, Joe,
had left word at the Three Jolly Bargemen concerning the notes. Then my
sister sealed them up in a piece of paper, and put them under some dried
rose-leaves in an ornamental teapot on the top of a press in the state
parlor. There they remained, a nightmare to me, many and many a night and
day.</p>
<p>I had sadly broken sleep when I got to bed, through thinking of the
strange man taking aim at me with his invisible gun, and of the guiltily
coarse and common thing it was, to be on secret terms of conspiracy with
convicts,—a feature in my low career that I had previously
forgotten. I was haunted by the file too. A dread possessed me that when I
least expected it, the file would reappear. I coaxed myself to sleep by
thinking of Miss Havisham's, next Wednesday; and in my sleep I saw the
file coming at me out of a door, without seeing who held it, and I
screamed myself awake.</p>
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