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<h2> Chapter LII </h2>
<p>From Little Britain I went, with my check in my pocket, to Miss Skiffins's
brother, the accountant; and Miss Skiffins's brother, the accountant,
going straight to Clarriker's and bringing Clarriker to me, I had the
great satisfaction of concluding that arrangement. It was the only good
thing I had done, and the only completed thing I had done, since I was
first apprised of my great expectations.</p>
<p>Clarriker informing me on that occasion that the affairs of the House were
steadily progressing, that he would now be able to establish a small
branch-house in the East which was much wanted for the extension of the
business, and that Herbert in his new partnership capacity would go out
and take charge of it, I found that I must have prepared for a separation
from my friend, even though my own affairs had been more settled. And now,
indeed, I felt as if my last anchor were loosening its hold, and I should
soon be driving with the winds and waves.</p>
<p>But there was recompense in the joy with which Herbert would come home of
a night and tell me of these changes, little imagining that he told me no
news, and would sketch airy pictures of himself conducting Clara Barley to
the land of the Arabian Nights, and of me going out to join them (with a
caravan of camels, I believe), and of our all going up the Nile and seeing
wonders. Without being sanguine as to my own part in those bright plans, I
felt that Herbert's way was clearing fast, and that old Bill Barley had
but to stick to his pepper and rum, and his daughter would soon be happily
provided for.</p>
<p>We had now got into the month of March. My left arm, though it presented
no bad symptoms, took, in the natural course, so long to heal that I was
still unable to get a coat on. My right arm was tolerably restored;
disfigured, but fairly serviceable.</p>
<p>On a Monday morning, when Herbert and I were at breakfast, I received the
following letter from Wemmick by the post.</p>
<p>"Walworth. Burn this as soon as read. Early in the week, or say Wednesday,
you might do what you know of, if you felt disposed to try it. Now burn."</p>
<p>When I had shown this to Herbert and had put it in the fire—but not
before we had both got it by heart—we considered what to do. For, of
course my being disabled could now be no longer kept out of view.</p>
<p>"I have thought it over again and again," said Herbert, "and I think I
know a better course than taking a Thames waterman. Take Startop. A good
fellow, a skilled hand, fond of us, and enthusiastic and honorable."</p>
<p>I had thought of him more than once.</p>
<p>"But how much would you tell him, Herbert?"</p>
<p>"It is necessary to tell him very little. Let him suppose it a mere freak,
but a secret one, until the morning comes: then let him know that there is
urgent reason for your getting Provis aboard and away. You go with him?"</p>
<p>"No doubt."</p>
<p>"Where?"</p>
<p>It had seemed to me, in the many anxious considerations I had given the
point, almost indifferent what port we made for,—Hamburg, Rotterdam,
Antwerp,—the place signified little, so that he was out of England.
Any foreign steamer that fell in our way and would take us up would do. I
had always proposed to myself to get him well down the river in the boat;
certainly well beyond Gravesend, which was a critical place for search or
inquiry if suspicion were afoot. As foreign steamers would leave London at
about the time of high-water, our plan would be to get down the river by a
previous ebb-tide, and lie by in some quiet spot until we could pull off
to one. The time when one would be due where we lay, wherever that might
be, could be calculated pretty nearly, if we made inquiries beforehand.</p>
<p>Herbert assented to all this, and we went out immediately after breakfast
to pursue our investigations. We found that a steamer for Hamburg was
likely to suit our purpose best, and we directed our thoughts chiefly to
that vessel. But we noted down what other foreign steamers would leave
London with the same tide, and we satisfied ourselves that we knew the
build and color of each. We then separated for a few hours: I, to get at
once such passports as were necessary; Herbert, to see Startop at his
lodgings. We both did what we had to do without any hindrance, and when we
met again at one o'clock reported it done. I, for my part, was prepared
with passports; Herbert had seen Startop, and he was more than ready to
join.</p>
<p>Those two should pull a pair of oars, we settled, and I would steer; our
charge would be sitter, and keep quiet; as speed was not our object, we
should make way enough. We arranged that Herbert should not come home to
dinner before going to Mill Pond Bank that evening; that he should not go
there at all to-morrow evening, Tuesday; that he should prepare Provis to
come down to some stairs hard by the house, on Wednesday, when he saw us
approach, and not sooner; that all the arrangements with him should be
concluded that Monday night; and that he should be communicated with no
more in any way, until we took him on board.</p>
<p>These precautions well understood by both of us, I went home.</p>
<p>On opening the outer door of our chambers with my key, I found a letter in
the box, directed to me; a very dirty letter, though not ill-written. It
had been delivered by hand (of course, since I left home), and its
contents were these:—</p>
<p>"If you are not afraid to come to the old marshes to-night or to-morrow
night at nine, and to come to the little sluice-house by the limekiln, you
had better come. If you want information regarding your uncle Provis, you
had much better come and tell no one, and lose no time. You must come
alone. Bring this with you."</p>
<p>I had had load enough upon my mind before the receipt of this strange
letter. What to do now, I could not tell. And the worst was, that I must
decide quickly, or I should miss the afternoon coach, which would take me
down in time for to-night. To-morrow night I could not think of going, for
it would be too close upon the time of the flight. And again, for anything
I knew, the proffered information might have some important bearing on the
flight itself.</p>
<p>If I had had ample time for consideration, I believe I should still have
gone. Having hardly any time for consideration,—my watch showing me
that the coach started within half an hour,—I resolved to go. I
should certainly not have gone, but for the reference to my Uncle Provis.
That, coming on Wemmick's letter and the morning's busy preparation,
turned the scale.</p>
<p>It is so difficult to become clearly possessed of the contents of almost
any letter, in a violent hurry, that I had to read this mysterious epistle
again twice, before its injunction to me to be secret got mechanically
into my mind. Yielding to it in the same mechanical kind of way, I left a
note in pencil for Herbert, telling him that as I should be so soon going
away, I knew not for how long, I had decided to hurry down and back, to
ascertain for myself how Miss Havisham was faring. I had then barely time
to get my great-coat, lock up the chambers, and make for the coach-office
by the short by-ways. If I had taken a hackney-chariot and gone by the
streets, I should have missed my aim; going as I did, I caught the coach
just as it came out of the yard. I was the only inside passenger, jolting
away knee-deep in straw, when I came to myself.</p>
<p>For I really had not been myself since the receipt of the letter; it had
so bewildered me, ensuing on the hurry of the morning. The morning hurry
and flutter had been great; for, long and anxiously as I had waited for
Wemmick, his hint had come like a surprise at last. And now I began to
wonder at myself for being in the coach, and to doubt whether I had
sufficient reason for being there, and to consider whether I should get
out presently and go back, and to argue against ever heeding an anonymous
communication, and, in short, to pass through all those phases of
contradiction and indecision to which I suppose very few hurried people
are strangers. Still, the reference to Provis by name mastered everything.
I reasoned as I had reasoned already without knowing it,—if that be
reasoning,—in case any harm should befall him through my not going,
how could I ever forgive myself!</p>
<p>It was dark before we got down, and the journey seemed long and dreary to
me, who could see little of it inside, and who could not go outside in my
disabled state. Avoiding the Blue Boar, I put up at an inn of minor
reputation down the town, and ordered some dinner. While it was preparing,
I went to Satis House and inquired for Miss Havisham; she was still very
ill, though considered something better.</p>
<p>My inn had once been a part of an ancient ecclesiastical house, and I
dined in a little octagonal common-room, like a font. As I was not able to
cut my dinner, the old landlord with a shining bald head did it for me.
This bringing us into conversation, he was so good as to entertain me with
my own story,—of course with the popular feature that Pumblechook
was my earliest benefactor and the founder of my fortunes.</p>
<p>"Do you know the young man?" said I.</p>
<p>"Know him!" repeated the landlord. "Ever since he was—no height at
all."</p>
<p>"Does he ever come back to this neighborhood?"</p>
<p>"Ay, he comes back," said the landlord, "to his great friends, now and
again, and gives the cold shoulder to the man that made him."</p>
<p>"What man is that?"</p>
<p>"Him that I speak of," said the landlord. "Mr. Pumblechook."</p>
<p>"Is he ungrateful to no one else?"</p>
<p>"No doubt he would be, if he could," returned the landlord, "but he can't.
And why? Because Pumblechook done everything for him."</p>
<p>"Does Pumblechook say so?"</p>
<p>"Say so!" replied the landlord. "He han't no call to say so."</p>
<p>"But does he say so?"</p>
<p>"It would turn a man's blood to white wine winegar to hear him tell of it,
sir," said the landlord.</p>
<p>I thought, "Yet Joe, dear Joe, you never tell of it. Long-suffering and
loving Joe, you never complain. Nor you, sweet-tempered Biddy!"</p>
<p>"Your appetite's been touched like by your accident," said the landlord,
glancing at the bandaged arm under my coat. "Try a tenderer bit."</p>
<p>"No, thank you," I replied, turning from the table to brood over the fire.
"I can eat no more. Please take it away."</p>
<p>I had never been struck at so keenly, for my thanklessness to Joe, as
through the brazen impostor Pumblechook. The falser he, the truer Joe; the
meaner he, the nobler Joe.</p>
<p>My heart was deeply and most deservedly humbled as I mused over the fire
for an hour or more. The striking of the clock aroused me, but not from my
dejection or remorse, and I got up and had my coat fastened round my neck,
and went out. I had previously sought in my pockets for the letter, that I
might refer to it again; but I could not find it, and was uneasy to think
that it must have been dropped in the straw of the coach. I knew very
well, however, that the appointed place was the little sluice-house by the
limekiln on the marshes, and the hour nine. Towards the marshes I now went
straight, having no time to spare.</p>
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