<h2>CHAPTER XIII</h2>
<p>Mr. Rochester, it seems, by the surgeon’s orders, went to bed early that
night; nor did he rise soon next morning. When he did come down, it was to
attend to business: his agent and some of his tenants were arrived, and waiting
to speak with him.</p>
<p>Adèle and I had now to vacate the library: it would be in daily
requisition as a reception-room for callers. A fire was lit in an apartment
upstairs, and there I carried our books, and arranged it for the future
schoolroom. I discerned in the course of the morning that Thornfield Hall was a
changed place: no longer silent as a church, it echoed every hour or two to a
knock at the door, or a clang of the bell; steps, too, often traversed the
hall, and new voices spoke in different keys below; a rill from the outer world
was flowing through it; it had a master: for my part, I liked it better.</p>
<p>Adèle was not easy to teach that day; she could not apply: she kept
running to the door and looking over the banisters to see if she could get a
glimpse of Mr. Rochester; then she coined pretexts to go downstairs, in order,
as I shrewdly suspected, to visit the library, where I knew she was not wanted;
then, when I got a little angry, and made her sit still, she continued to talk
incessantly of her “ami, Monsieur Edouard Fairfax <i>de</i>
Rochester,” as she dubbed him (I had not before heard his prenomens), and
to conjecture what presents he had brought her: for it appears he had intimated
the night before, that when his luggage came from Millcote, there would be
found amongst it a little box in whose contents she had an interest.</p>
<p>“Et cela doit signifier,” said she, “qu’il y aura
là dedans un cadeau pour moi, et peut-être pour vous aussi,
mademoiselle. Monsieur a parlé de vous: il m’a demandé le
nom de ma gouvernante, et si elle n’était pas une petite personne,
assez mince et un peu pâle. J’ai dit qu’oui: car c’est
vrai, n’est-ce pas, mademoiselle?”</p>
<p>I and my pupil dined as usual in Mrs. Fairfax’s parlour; the afternoon
was wild and snowy, and we passed it in the schoolroom. At dark I allowed
Adèle to put away books and work, and to run downstairs; for, from the
comparative silence below, and from the cessation of appeals to the door-bell,
I conjectured that Mr. Rochester was now at liberty. Left alone, I walked to
the window; but nothing was to be seen thence: twilight and snowflakes together
thickened the air, and hid the very shrubs on the lawn. I let down the curtain
and went back to the fireside.</p>
<p>In the clear embers I was tracing a view, not unlike a picture I remembered to
have seen of the castle of Heidelberg, on the Rhine, when Mrs. Fairfax came in,
breaking up by her entrance the fiery mosaic I had been piercing together, and
scattering too some heavy unwelcome thoughts that were beginning to throng on
my solitude.</p>
<p>“Mr. Rochester would be glad if you and your pupil would take tea with
him in the drawing-room this evening,” said she: “he has been so
much engaged all day that he could not ask to see you before.”</p>
<p>“When is his tea-time?” I inquired.</p>
<p>“Oh, at six o’clock: he keeps early hours in the country. You had
better change your frock now; I will go with you and fasten it. Here is a
candle.”</p>
<p>“Is it necessary to change my frock?”</p>
<p>“Yes, you had better: I always dress for the evening when Mr. Rochester
is here.”</p>
<p>This additional ceremony seemed somewhat stately; however, I repaired to my
room, and, with Mrs. Fairfax’s aid, replaced my black stuff dress by one
of black silk; the best and the only additional one I had, except one of light
grey, which, in my Lowood notions of the toilette, I thought too fine to be
worn, except on first-rate occasions.</p>
<p>“You want a brooch,” said Mrs. Fairfax. I had a single little pearl
ornament which Miss Temple gave me as a parting keepsake: I put it on, and then
we went downstairs. Unused as I was to strangers, it was rather a trial to
appear thus formally summoned in Mr. Rochester’s presence. I let Mrs.
Fairfax precede me into the dining-room, and kept in her shade as we crossed
that apartment; and, passing the arch, whose curtain was now dropped, entered
the elegant recess beyond.</p>
<p>Two wax candles stood lighted on the table, and two on the mantelpiece; basking
in the light and heat of a superb fire, lay Pilot—Adèle knelt near
him. Half reclined on a couch appeared Mr. Rochester, his foot supported by the
cushion; he was looking at Adèle and the dog: the fire shone full on his
face. I knew my traveller with his broad and jetty eyebrows; his square
forehead, made squarer by the horizontal sweep of his black hair. I
recognised his decisive nose, more remarkable for character than beauty; his
full nostrils, denoting, I thought, choler; his grim mouth, chin, and
jaw—yes, all three were very grim, and no mistake. His shape, now
divested of cloak, I perceived harmonised in squareness with his physiognomy: I
suppose it was a good figure in the athletic sense of the term—broad
chested and thin flanked, though neither tall nor graceful.</p>
<p>Mr. Rochester must have been aware of the entrance of Mrs. Fairfax and myself;
but it appeared he was not in the mood to notice us, for he never lifted his
head as we approached.</p>
<p>“Here is Miss Eyre, sir,” said Mrs. Fairfax, in her quiet way. He
bowed, still not taking his eyes from the group of the dog and child.</p>
<p>“Let Miss Eyre be seated,” said he: and there was something in the
forced stiff bow, in the impatient yet formal tone, which seemed further to
express, “What the deuce is it to me whether Miss Eyre be there or not?
At this moment I am not disposed to accost her.”</p>
<p>I sat down quite disembarrassed. A reception of finished politeness would
probably have confused me: I could not have returned or repaid it by answering
grace and elegance on my part; but harsh caprice laid me under no obligation;
on the contrary, a decent quiescence, under the freak of manner, gave me the
advantage. Besides, the eccentricity of the proceeding was piquant: I felt
interested to see how he would go on.</p>
<p>He went on as a statue would, that is, he neither spoke nor moved. Mrs. Fairfax
seemed to think it necessary that some one should be amiable, and she began to
talk. Kindly, as usual—and, as usual, rather trite—she condoled
with him on the pressure of business he had had all day; on the annoyance it
must have been to him with that painful sprain: then she commended his patience
and perseverance in going through with it.</p>
<p>“Madam, I should like some tea,” was the sole rejoinder she got.
She hastened to ring the bell; and when the tray came, she proceeded to arrange
the cups, spoons, &c., with assiduous celerity. I and Adèle went to
the table; but the master did not leave his couch.</p>
<p>“Will you hand Mr. Rochester’s cup?” said Mrs. Fairfax to me;
“Adèle might perhaps spill it.”</p>
<p>I did as requested. As he took the cup from my hand, Adèle, thinking the
moment propitious for making a request in my favour, cried out—</p>
<p>“N’est-ce pas, monsieur, qu’il y a un cadeau pour
Mademoiselle Eyre dans votre petit coffre?”</p>
<p>“Who talks of cadeaux?” said he gruffly. “Did you expect a
present, Miss Eyre? Are you fond of presents?” and he searched my face
with eyes that I saw were dark, irate, and piercing.</p>
<p>“I hardly know, sir; I have little experience of them: they are generally
thought pleasant things.”</p>
<p>“Generally thought? But what do <i>you</i> think?”</p>
<p>“I should be obliged to take time, sir, before I could give you an answer
worthy of your acceptance: a present has many faces to it, has it not? and one
should consider all, before pronouncing an opinion as to its nature.”</p>
<p>“Miss Eyre, you are not so unsophisticated as Adèle: she demands a
‘cadeau,’ clamorously, the moment she sees me: you beat about the
bush.”</p>
<p>“Because I have less confidence in my deserts than Adèle has: she
can prefer the claim of old acquaintance, and the right too of custom; for she
says you have always been in the habit of giving her playthings; but if I had
to make out a case I should be puzzled, since I am a stranger, and have done
nothing to entitle me to an acknowledgment.”</p>
<p>“Oh, don’t fall back on over-modesty! I have examined Adèle,
and find you have taken great pains with her: she is not bright, she has no
talents; yet in a short time she has made much improvement.”</p>
<p>“Sir, you have now given me my ‘cadeau;’ I am obliged to you:
it is the meed teachers most covet—praise of their pupils’
progress.”</p>
<p>“Humph!” said Mr. Rochester, and he took his tea in silence.</p>
<p>“Come to the fire,” said the master, when the tray was taken away,
and Mrs. Fairfax had settled into a corner with her knitting; while
Adèle was leading me by the hand round the room, showing me the
beautiful books and ornaments on the consoles and chiffonnières.
We obeyed, as in duty bound; Adèle wanted to take a seat on my knee, but
she was ordered to amuse herself with Pilot.</p>
<p>“You have been resident in my house three months?”</p>
<p>“Yes, sir.”</p>
<p>“And you came from—?”</p>
<p>“From Lowood school, in ——shire.”</p>
<p>“Ah! a charitable concern. How long were you there?”</p>
<p>“Eight years.”</p>
<p>“Eight years! you must be tenacious of life. I thought half the time in
such a place would have done up any constitution! No wonder you have rather the
look of another world. I marvelled where you had got that sort of face. When
you came on me in Hay Lane last night, I thought unaccountably of fairy tales,
and had half a mind to demand whether you had bewitched my horse: I am not sure
yet. Who are your parents?”</p>
<p>“I have none.”</p>
<p>“Nor ever had, I suppose: do you remember them?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“I thought not. And so you were waiting for your people when you sat on
that stile?”</p>
<p>“For whom, sir?”</p>
<p>“For the men in green: it was a proper moonlight evening for them.
Did I break through one of your rings, that you spread that damned ice on the
causeway?”</p>
<p>I shook my head. “The men in green all forsook England a hundred years
ago,” said I, speaking as seriously as he had done. “And not
even in Hay Lane, or the fields about it, could you find a trace of them. I
don’t think either summer or harvest, or winter moon, will ever shine on
their revels more.”</p>
<p>Mrs. Fairfax had dropped her knitting, and, with raised eyebrows, seemed
wondering what sort of talk this was.</p>
<p>“Well,” resumed Mr. Rochester, “if you disown parents, you
must have some sort of kinsfolk: uncles and aunts?”</p>
<p>“No; none that I ever saw.”</p>
<p>“And your home?”</p>
<p>“I have none.”</p>
<p>“Where do your brothers and sisters live?”</p>
<p>“I have no brothers or sisters.”</p>
<p>“Who recommended you to come here?”</p>
<p>“I advertised, and Mrs. Fairfax answered my advertisement.”</p>
<p>“Yes,” said the good lady, who now knew what ground we were upon,
“and I am daily thankful for the choice Providence led me to make.
Miss Eyre has been an invaluable companion to me, and a kind and careful
teacher to Adèle.”</p>
<p>“Don’t trouble yourself to give her a character,” returned
Mr. Rochester: “eulogiums will not bias me; I shall judge for myself. She
began by felling my horse.”</p>
<p>“Sir?” said Mrs. Fairfax.</p>
<p>“I have to thank her for this sprain.”</p>
<p>The widow looked bewildered.</p>
<p>“Miss Eyre, have you ever lived in a town?”</p>
<p>“No, sir.”</p>
<p>“Have you seen much society?”</p>
<p>“None but the pupils and teachers of Lowood, and now the inmates of
Thornfield.”</p>
<p>“Have you read much?”</p>
<p>“Only such books as came in my way; and they have not been numerous or
very learned.”</p>
<p>“You have lived the life of a nun: no doubt you are well drilled in
religious forms;—Brocklehurst, who I understand directs Lowood, is a
parson, is he not?”</p>
<p>“Yes, sir.”</p>
<p>“And you girls probably worshipped him, as a convent full of religieuses
would worship their director.”</p>
<p>“Oh, no.”</p>
<p>“You are very cool! No! What! a novice not worship her priest! That
sounds blasphemous.”</p>
<p>“I disliked Mr. Brocklehurst; and I was not alone in the feeling.
He is a harsh man; at once pompous and meddling; he cut off our hair; and for
economy’s sake bought us bad needles and thread, with which we could
hardly sew.”</p>
<p>“That was very false economy,” remarked Mrs. Fairfax, who now again
caught the drift of the dialogue.</p>
<p>“And was that the head and front of his offending?” demanded Mr.
Rochester.</p>
<p>“He starved us when he had the sole superintendence of the provision
department, before the committee was appointed; and he bored us with long
lectures once a week, and with evening readings from books of his own inditing,
about sudden deaths and judgments, which made us afraid to go to bed.”</p>
<p>“What age were you when you went to Lowood?”</p>
<p>“About ten.”</p>
<p>“And you stayed there eight years: you are now, then, eighteen?”</p>
<p>I assented.</p>
<p>“Arithmetic, you see, is useful; without its aid, I should hardly have
been able to guess your age. It is a point difficult to fix where the features
and countenance are so much at variance as in your case. And now what did you
learn at Lowood? Can you play?”</p>
<p>“A little.”</p>
<p>“Of course: that is the established answer. Go into the library—I
mean, if you please.—(Excuse my tone of command; I am used to say,
‘Do this,’ and it is done: I cannot alter my customary habits for
one new inmate.)—Go, then, into the library; take a candle with you;
leave the door open; sit down to the piano, and play a tune.”</p>
<p>I departed, obeying his directions.</p>
<p>“Enough!” he called out in a few minutes. “You play <i>a
little</i>, I see; like any other English school-girl; perhaps rather better
than some, but not well.”</p>
<p>I closed the piano and returned. Mr. Rochester continued—</p>
<p>“Adèle showed me some sketches this morning, which she said were yours. I
don’t know whether they were entirely of your doing; probably a master
aided you?”</p>
<p>“No, indeed!” I interjected.</p>
<p>“Ah! that pricks pride. Well, fetch me your portfolio, if you can vouch
for its contents being original; but don’t pass your word unless you are
certain: I can recognise patchwork.”</p>
<p>“Then I will say nothing, and you shall judge for yourself, sir.”</p>
<p>I brought the portfolio from the library.</p>
<p>“Approach the table,” said he; and I wheeled it to his couch.
Adèle and Mrs. Fairfax drew near to see the pictures.</p>
<p>“No crowding,” said Mr. Rochester: “take the drawings from my
hand as I finish with them; but don’t push your faces up to mine.”</p>
<p>He deliberately scrutinised each sketch and painting. Three he laid aside; the
others, when he had examined them, he swept from him.</p>
<p>“Take them off to the other table, Mrs. Fairfax,” said he,
“and look at them with Adèle;—you” (glancing at me)
“resume your seat, and answer my questions. I perceive those pictures
were done by one hand: was that hand yours?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“And when did you find time to do them? They have taken much time, and
some thought.”</p>
<p>“I did them in the last two vacations I spent at Lowood, when I had no
other occupation.”</p>
<p>“Where did you get your copies?”</p>
<p>“Out of my head.”</p>
<p>“That head I see now on your shoulders?”</p>
<p>“Yes, sir.”</p>
<p>“Has it other furniture of the same kind within?”</p>
<p>“I should think it may have: I should hope—better.”</p>
<p>He spread the pictures before him, and again surveyed them alternately.</p>
<p>While he is so occupied, I will tell you, reader, what they are: and first, I
must premise that they are nothing wonderful. The subjects had, indeed, risen
vividly on my mind. As I saw them with the spiritual eye, before I attempted to
embody them, they were striking; but my hand would not second my fancy, and in
each case it had wrought out but a pale portrait of the thing I had conceived.</p>
<p>These pictures were in water-colours. The first represented clouds low and
livid, rolling over a swollen sea: all the distance was in eclipse; so, too,
was the foreground; or rather, the nearest billows, for there was no land. One
gleam of light lifted into relief a half-submerged mast, on which sat a
cormorant, dark and large, with wings flecked with foam; its beak held a gold
bracelet set with gems, that I had touched with as brilliant tints as my
palette could yield, and as glittering distinctness as my pencil could impart.
Sinking below the bird and mast, a drowned corpse glanced through the green
water; a fair arm was the only limb clearly visible, whence the bracelet had
been washed or torn.</p>
<p>The second picture contained for foreground only the dim peak of a hill, with
grass and some leaves slanting as if by a breeze. Beyond and above spread an
expanse of sky, dark blue as at twilight: rising into the sky was a
woman’s shape to the bust, portrayed in tints as dusk and soft as I could
combine. The dim forehead was crowned with a star; the lineaments below were
seen as through the suffusion of vapour; the eyes shone dark and wild; the hair
streamed shadowy, like a beamless cloud torn by storm or by electric travail.
On the neck lay a pale reflection like moonlight; the same faint lustre touched
the train of thin clouds from which rose and bowed this vision of the Evening
Star.</p>
<p>The third showed the pinnacle of an iceberg piercing a polar winter sky: a
muster of northern lights reared their dim lances, close serried, along the
horizon. Throwing these into distance, rose, in the foreground, a head,—a
colossal head, inclined towards the iceberg, and resting against it. Two thin
hands, joined under the forehead, and supporting it, drew up before the lower
features a sable veil; a brow quite bloodless, white as bone, and an eye hollow
and fixed, blank of meaning but for the glassiness of despair, alone were
visible. Above the temples, amidst wreathed turban folds of black drapery,
vague in its character and consistency as cloud, gleamed a ring of white flame,
gemmed with sparkles of a more lurid tinge. This pale crescent was “the
likeness of a kingly crown;” what it diademed was “the shape which
shape had none.”</p>
<p>“Were you happy when you painted these pictures?” asked Mr.
Rochester presently.</p>
<p>“I was absorbed, sir: yes, and I was happy. To paint them, in short, was
to enjoy one of the keenest pleasures I have ever known.”</p>
<p>“That is not saying much. Your pleasures, by your own account, have been
few; but I daresay you did exist in a kind of artist’s dreamland while
you blent and arranged these strange tints. Did you sit at them long each
day?”</p>
<p>“I had nothing else to do, because it was the vacation, and I sat at them
from morning till noon, and from noon till night: the length of the midsummer
days favoured my inclination to apply.”</p>
<p>“And you felt self-satisfied with the result of your ardent
labours?”</p>
<p>“Far from it. I was tormented by the contrast between my idea and my
handiwork: in each case I had imagined something which I was quite powerless to
realise.”</p>
<p>“Not quite: you have secured the shadow of your thought; but no more,
probably. You had not enough of the artist’s skill and science to give it
full being: yet the drawings are, for a school-girl, peculiar. As to the
thoughts, they are elfish. These eyes in the Evening Star you must have seen in
a dream. How could you make them look so clear, and yet not at all brilliant?
for the planet above quells their rays. And what meaning is that in their
solemn depth? And who taught you to paint wind? There is a high gale in that
sky, and on this hill-top. Where did you see Latmos? For that is Latmos. There!
put the drawings away!”</p>
<p>I had scarce tied the strings of the portfolio, when, looking at his watch, he
said abruptly—</p>
<p>“It is nine o’clock: what are you about, Miss Eyre, to let
Adèle sit up so long? Take her to bed.”</p>
<p>Adèle went to kiss him before quitting the room: he endured the caress,
but scarcely seemed to relish it more than Pilot would have done, nor so much.</p>
<p>“I wish you all good-night, now,” said he, making a movement of the
hand towards the door, in token that he was tired of our company, and wished to
dismiss us. Mrs. Fairfax folded up her knitting: I took my portfolio: we
curtseyed to him, received a frigid bow in return, and so withdrew.</p>
<p>“You said Mr. Rochester was not strikingly peculiar, Mrs. Fairfax,”
I observed, when I rejoined her in her room, after putting Adèle to bed.</p>
<p>“Well, is he?”</p>
<p>“I think so: he is very changeful and abrupt.”</p>
<p>“True: no doubt he may appear so to a stranger, but I am so accustomed to
his manner, I never think of it; and then, if he has peculiarities of temper,
allowance should be made.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“Partly because it is his nature—and we can none of us help our
nature; and partly because he has painful thoughts, no doubt, to harass him,
and make his spirits unequal.”</p>
<p>“What about?”</p>
<p>“Family troubles, for one thing.”</p>
<p>“But he has no family.”</p>
<p>“Not now, but he has had—or, at least, relatives. He lost his elder
brother a few years since.”</p>
<p>“His <i>elder</i> brother?”</p>
<p>“Yes. The present Mr. Rochester has not been very long in possession of
the property; only about nine years.”</p>
<p>“Nine years is a tolerable time. Was he so very fond of his brother as to
be still inconsolable for his loss?”</p>
<p>“Why, no—perhaps not. I believe there were some misunderstandings
between them. Mr. Rowland Rochester was not quite just to Mr. Edward; and
perhaps he prejudiced his father against him. The old gentleman was fond of
money, and anxious to keep the family estate together. He did not like to
diminish the property by division, and yet he was anxious that Mr. Edward
should have wealth, too, to keep up the consequence of the name; and, soon
after he was of age, some steps were taken that were not quite fair, and made a
great deal of mischief. Old Mr. Rochester and Mr. Rowland combined to bring Mr.
Edward into what he considered a painful position, for the sake of making his
fortune: what the precise nature of that position was I never clearly knew, but
his spirit could not brook what he had to suffer in it. He is not very
forgiving: he broke with his family, and now for many years he has led an
unsettled kind of life. I don’t think he has ever been resident at
Thornfield for a fortnight together, since the death of his brother without a
will left him master of the estate; and, indeed, no wonder he shuns the old
place.”</p>
<p>“Why should he shun it?”</p>
<p>“Perhaps he thinks it gloomy.”</p>
<p>The answer was evasive. I should have liked something clearer; but Mrs. Fairfax
either could not, or would not, give me more explicit information of the origin
and nature of Mr. Rochester’s trials. She averred they were a mystery to
herself, and that what she knew was chiefly from conjecture. It was evident,
indeed, that she wished me to drop the subject, which I did accordingly.</p>
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