<h2>CHAPTER XII—A CAVE RETREAT</h2>
<p>While this was doing, I was not altogether careless of my
other affairs; for I had a great concern upon me for my little
herd of goats: they were not only a ready supply to me on every
occasion, and began to be sufficient for me, without the expense
of powder and shot, but also without the fatigue of hunting after
the wild ones; and I was loath to lose the advantage of them, and
to have them all to nurse up over again.</p>
<p>For this purpose, after long consideration, I could think of
but two ways to preserve them: one was, to find another
convenient place to dig a cave underground, and to drive them
into it every night; and the other was to enclose two or three
little bits of land, remote from one another, and as much
concealed as I could, where I might keep about half-a-dozen young
goats in each place; so that if any disaster happened to the
flock in general, I might be able to raise them again with little
trouble and time: and this though it would require a good deal of
time and labour, I thought was the most rational design.</p>
<p>Accordingly, I spent some time to find out the most retired
parts of the island; and I pitched upon one, which was as
private, indeed, as my heart could wish: it was a little damp
piece of ground in the middle of the hollow and thick woods,
where, as is observed, I almost lost myself once before,
endeavouring to come back that way from the eastern part of the
island. Here I found a clear piece of land, near three
acres, so surrounded with woods that it was almost an enclosure
by nature; at least, it did not want near so much labour to make
it so as the other piece of ground I had worked so hard at.</p>
<p>I immediately went to work with this piece of ground; and in
less than a month’s time I had so fenced it round that my
flock, or herd, call it which you please, which were not so wild
now as at first they might be supposed to be, were well enough
secured in it: so, without any further delay, I removed ten young
she-goats and two he-goats to this piece, and when they were
there I continued to perfect the fence till I had made it as
secure as the other; which, however, I did at more leisure, and
it took me up more time by a great deal. All this labour I
was at the expense of, purely from my apprehensions on account of
the print of a man’s foot; for as yet I had never seen any
human creature come near the island; and I had now lived two
years under this uneasiness, which, indeed, made my life much
less comfortable than it was before, as may be well imagined by
any who know what it is to live in the constant snare of the fear
of man. And this I must observe, with grief, too, that the
discomposure of my mind had great impression also upon the
religious part of my thoughts; for the dread and terror of
falling into the hands of savages and cannibals lay so upon my
spirits, that I seldom found myself in a due temper for
application to my Maker; at least, not with the sedate calmness
and resignation of soul which I was wont to do: I rather prayed
to God as under great affliction and pressure of mind, surrounded
with danger, and in expectation every night of being murdered and
devoured before morning; and I must testify, from my experience,
that a temper of peace, thankfulness, love, and affection, is
much the more proper frame for prayer than that of terror and
discomposure: and that under the dread of mischief impending, a
man is no more fit for a comforting performance of the duty of
praying to God than he is for a repentance on a sick-bed; for
these discomposures affect the mind, as the others do the body;
and the discomposure of the mind must necessarily be as great a
disability as that of the body, and much greater; praying to God
being properly an act of the mind, not of the body.</p>
<p>But to go on. After I had thus secured one part of my
little living stock, I went about the whole island, searching for
another private place to make such another deposit; when,
wandering more to the west point of the island than I had ever
done yet, and looking out to sea, I thought I saw a boat upon the
sea, at a great distance. I had found a perspective glass
or two in one of the seamen’s chests, which I saved out of
our ship, but I had it not about me; and this was so remote that
I could not tell what to make of it, though I looked at it till
my eyes were not able to hold to look any longer; whether it was
a boat or not I do not know, but as I descended from the hill I
could see no more of it, so I gave it over; only I resolved to go
no more out without a perspective glass in my pocket. When
I was come down the hill to the end of the island, where, indeed,
I had never been before, I was presently convinced that the
seeing the print of a man’s foot was not such a strange
thing in the island as I imagined: and but that it was a special
providence that I was cast upon the side of the island where the
savages never came, I should easily have known that nothing was
more frequent than for the canoes from the main, when they
happened to be a little too far out at sea, to shoot over to that
side of the island for harbour: likewise, as they often met and
fought in their canoes, the victors, having taken any prisoners,
would bring them over to this shore, where, according to their
dreadful customs, being all cannibals, they would kill and eat
them; of which hereafter.</p>
<p>When I was come down the hill to the shore, as I said above,
being the SW. point of the island, I was perfectly confounded and
amazed; nor is it possible for me to express the horror of my
mind at seeing the shore spread with skulls, hands, feet, and
other bones of human bodies; and particularly I observed a place
where there had been a fire made, and a circle dug in the earth,
like a cockpit, where I supposed the savage wretches had sat down
to their human feastings upon the bodies of their
fellow-creatures.</p>
<p>I was so astonished with the sight of these things, that I
entertained no notions of any danger to myself from it for a long
while: all my apprehensions were buried in the thoughts of such a
pitch of inhuman, hellish brutality, and the horror of the
degeneracy of human nature, which, though I had heard of it
often, yet I never had so near a view of before; in short, I
turned away my face from the horrid spectacle; my stomach grew
sick, and I was just at the point of fainting, when nature
discharged the disorder from my stomach; and having vomited with
uncommon violence, I was a little relieved, but could not bear to
stay in the place a moment; so I got up the hill again with all
the speed I could, and walked on towards my own habitation.</p>
<p>When I came a little out of that part of the island I stood
still awhile, as amazed, and then, recovering myself, I looked up
with the utmost affection of my soul, and, with a flood of tears
in my eyes, gave God thanks, that had cast my first lot in a part
of the world where I was distinguished from such dreadful
creatures as these; and that, though I had esteemed my present
condition very miserable, had yet given me so many comforts in it
that I had still more to give thanks for than to complain of: and
this, above all, that I had, even in this miserable condition,
been comforted with the knowledge of Himself, and the hope of His
blessing: which was a felicity more than sufficiently equivalent
to all the misery which I had suffered, or could suffer.</p>
<p>In this frame of thankfulness I went home to my castle, and
began to be much easier now, as to the safety of my
circumstances, than ever I was before: for I observed that these
wretches never came to this island in search of what they could
get; perhaps not seeking, not wanting, or not expecting anything
here; and having often, no doubt, been up the covered, woody part
of it without finding anything to their purpose. I knew I
had been here now almost eighteen years, and never saw the least
footsteps of human creature there before; and I might be eighteen
years more as entirely concealed as I was now, if I did not
discover myself to them, which I had no manner of occasion to do;
it being my only business to keep myself entirely concealed where
I was, unless I found a better sort of creatures than cannibals
to make myself known to. Yet I entertained such an
abhorrence of the savage wretches that I have been speaking of,
and of the wretched, inhuman custom of their devouring and eating
one another up, that I continued pensive and sad, and kept close
within my own circle for almost two years after this: when I say
my own circle, I mean by it my three plantations—viz. my
castle, my country seat (which I called my bower), and my
enclosure in the woods: nor did I look after this for any other
use than an enclosure for my goats; for the aversion which nature
gave me to these hellish wretches was such, that I was as fearful
of seeing them as of seeing the devil himself. I did not so
much as go to look after my boat all this time, but began rather
to think of making another; for I could not think of ever making
any more attempts to bring the other boat round the island to me,
lest I should meet with some of these creatures at sea; in which
case, if I had happened to have fallen into their hands, I knew
what would have been my lot.</p>
<p>Time, however, and the satisfaction I had that I was in no
danger of being discovered by these people, began to wear off my
uneasiness about them; and I began to live just in the same
composed manner as before, only with this difference, that I used
more caution, and kept my eyes more about me than I did before,
lest I should happen to be seen by any of them; and particularly,
I was more cautious of firing my gun, lest any of them, being on
the island, should happen to hear it. It was, therefore, a
very good providence to me that I had furnished myself with a
tame breed of goats, and that I had no need to hunt any more
about the woods, or shoot at them; and if I did catch any of them
after this, it was by traps and snares, as I had done before; so
that for two years after this I believe I never fired my gun once
off, though I never went out without it; and what was more, as I
had saved three pistols out of the ship, I always carried them
out with me, or at least two of them, sticking them in my
goat-skin belt. I also furbished up one of the great
cutlasses that I had out of the ship, and made me a belt to hang
it on also; so that I was now a most formidable fellow to look at
when I went abroad, if you add to the former description of
myself the particular of two pistols, and a broadsword hanging at
my side in a belt, but without a scabbard.</p>
<p>Things going on thus, as I have said, for some time, I seemed,
excepting these cautions, to be reduced to my former calm, sedate
way of living. All these things tended to show me more and
more how far my condition was from being miserable, compared to
some others; nay, to many other particulars of life which it
might have pleased God to have made my lot. It put me upon
reflecting how little repining there would be among mankind at
any condition of life if people would rather compare their
condition with those that were worse, in order to be thankful,
than be always comparing them with those which are better, to
assist their murmurings and complainings.</p>
<p>As in my present condition there were not really many things
which I wanted, so indeed I thought that the frights I had been
in about these savage wretches, and the concern I had been in for
my own preservation, had taken off the edge of my invention, for
my own conveniences; and I had dropped a good design, which I had
once bent my thoughts upon, and that was to try if I could not
make some of my barley into malt, and then try to brew myself
some beer. This was really a whimsical thought, and I
reproved myself often for the simplicity of it: for I presently
saw there would be the want of several things necessary to the
making my beer that it would be impossible for me to supply; as,
first, casks to preserve it in, which was a thing that, as I have
observed already, I could never compass: no, though I spent not
only many days, but weeks, nay months, in attempting it, but to
no purpose. In the next place, I had no hops to make it
keep, no yeast to make it work, no copper or kettle to make it
boil; and yet with all these things wanting, I verily believe,
had not the frights and terrors I was in about the savages
intervened, I had undertaken it, and perhaps brought it to pass
too; for I seldom gave anything over without accomplishing it,
when once I had it in my head to began it. But my invention
now ran quite another way; for night and day I could think of
nothing but how I might destroy some of the monsters in their
cruel, bloody entertainment, and if possible save the victim they
should bring hither to destroy. It would take up a larger
volume than this whole work is intended to be to set down all the
contrivances I hatched, or rather brooded upon, in my thoughts,
for the destroying these creatures, or at least frightening them
so as to prevent their coming hither any more: but all this was
abortive; nothing could be possible to take effect, unless I was
to be there to do it myself: and what could one man do among
them, when perhaps there might be twenty or thirty of them
together with their darts, or their bows and arrows, with which
they could shoot as true to a mark as I could with my gun?</p>
<p>Sometimes I thought if digging a hole under the place where
they made their fire, and putting in five or six pounds of
gunpowder, which, when they kindled their fire, would
consequently take fire, and blow up all that was near it: but as,
in the first place, I should be unwilling to waste so much powder
upon them, my store being now within the quantity of one barrel,
so neither could I be sure of its going off at any certain time,
when it might surprise them; and, at best, that it would do
little more than just blow the fire about their ears and fright
them, but not sufficient to make them forsake the place: so I
laid it aside; and then proposed that I would place myself in
ambush in some convenient place, with my three guns all
double-loaded, and in the middle of their bloody ceremony let fly
at them, when I should be sure to kill or wound perhaps two or
three at every shot; and then falling in upon them with my three
pistols and my sword, I made no doubt but that, if there were
twenty, I should kill them all. This fancy pleased my
thoughts for some weeks, and I was so full of it that I often
dreamed of it, and, sometimes, that I was just going to let fly
at them in my sleep. I went so far with it in my
imagination that I employed myself several days to find out
proper places to put myself in ambuscade, as I said, to watch for
them, and I went frequently to the place itself, which was now
grown more familiar to me; but while my mind was thus filled with
thoughts of revenge and a bloody putting twenty or thirty of them
to the sword, as I may call it, the horror I had at the place,
and at the signals of the barbarous wretches devouring one
another, abetted my malice. Well, at length I found a place
in the side of the hill where I was satisfied I might securely
wait till I saw any of their boats coming; and might then, even
before they would be ready to come on shore, convey myself unseen
into some thickets of trees, in one of which there was a hollow
large enough to conceal me entirely; and there I might sit and
observe all their bloody doings, and take my full aim at their
heads, when they were so close together as that it would be next
to impossible that I should miss my shot, or that I could fail
wounding three or four of them at the first shot. In this
place, then, I resolved to fulfil my design; and accordingly I
prepared two muskets and my ordinary fowling-piece. The two
muskets I loaded with a brace of slugs each, and four or five
smaller bullets, about the size of pistol bullets; and the
fowling-piece I loaded with near a handful of swan-shot of the
largest size; I also loaded my pistols with about four bullets
each; and, in this posture, well provided with ammunition for a
second and third charge, I prepared myself for my expedition.</p>
<p>After I had thus laid the scheme of my design, and in my
imagination put it in practice, I continually made my tour every
morning to the top of the hill, which was from my castle, as I
called it, about three miles or more, to see if I could observe
any boats upon the sea, coming near the island, or standing over
towards it; but I began to tire of this hard duty, after I had
for two or three months constantly kept my watch, but came always
back without any discovery; there having not, in all that time,
been the least appearance, not only on or near the shore, but on
the whole ocean, so far as my eye or glass could reach every
way.</p>
<p>As long as I kept my daily tour to the hill, to look out, so
long also I kept up the vigour of my design, and my spirits
seemed to be all the while in a suitable frame for so outrageous
an execution as the killing twenty or thirty naked savages, for
an offence which I had not at all entered into any discussion of
in my thoughts, any farther than my passions were at first fired
by the horror I conceived at the unnatural custom of the people
of that country, who, it seems, had been suffered by Providence,
in His wise disposition of the world, to have no other guide than
that of their own abominable and vitiated passions; and
consequently were left, and perhaps had been so for some ages, to
act such horrid things, and receive such dreadful customs, as
nothing but nature, entirely abandoned by Heaven, and actuated by
some hellish degeneracy, could have run them into. But now,
when, as I have said, I began to be weary of the fruitless
excursion which I had made so long and so far every morning in
vain, so my opinion of the action itself began to alter; and I
began, with cooler and calmer thoughts, to consider what I was
going to engage in; what authority or call I had to pretend to be
judge and executioner upon these men as criminals, whom Heaven
had thought fit for so many ages to suffer unpunished to go on,
and to be as it were the executioners of His judgments one upon
another; how far these people were offenders against me, and what
right I had to engage in the quarrel of that blood which they
shed promiscuously upon one another. I debated this very
often with myself thus: “How do I know what God Himself
judges in this particular case? It is certain these people
do not commit this as a crime; it is not against their own
consciences reproving, or their light reproaching them; they do
not know it to be an offence, and then commit it in defiance of
divine justice, as we do in almost all the sins we commit.
They think it no more a crime to kill a captive taken in war than
we do to kill an ox; or to eat human flesh than we do to eat
mutton.”</p>
<p>When I considered this a little, it followed necessarily that
I was certainly in the wrong; that these people were not
murderers, in the sense that I had before condemned them in my
thoughts, any more than those Christians were murderers who often
put to death the prisoners taken in battle; or more frequently,
upon many occasions, put whole troops of men to the sword,
without giving quarter, though they threw down their arms and
submitted. In the next place, it occurred to me that
although the usage they gave one another was thus brutish and
inhuman, yet it was really nothing to me: these people had done
me no injury: that if they attempted, or I saw it necessary, for
my immediate preservation, to fall upon them, something might be
said for it: but that I was yet out of their power, and they
really had no knowledge of me, and consequently no design upon
me; and therefore it could not be just for me to fall upon them;
that this would justify the conduct of the Spaniards in all their
barbarities practised in America, where they destroyed millions
of these people; who, however they were idolators and barbarians,
and had several bloody and barbarous rites in their customs, such
as sacrificing human bodies to their idols, were yet, as to the
Spaniards, very innocent people; and that the rooting them out of
the country is spoken of with the utmost abhorrence and
detestation by even the Spaniards themselves at this time, and by
all other Christian nations of Europe, as a mere butchery, a
bloody and unnatural piece of cruelty, unjustifiable either to
God or man; and for which the very name of a Spaniard is reckoned
to be frightful and terrible, to all people of humanity or of
Christian compassion; as if the kingdom of Spain were
particularly eminent for the produce of a race of men who were
without principles of tenderness, or the common bowels of pity to
the miserable, which is reckoned to be a mark of generous temper
in the mind.</p>
<p>These considerations really put me to a pause, and to a kind
of a full stop; and I began by little and little to be off my
design, and to conclude I had taken wrong measures in my
resolution to attack the savages; and that it was not my business
to meddle with them, unless they first attacked me; and this it
was my business, if possible, to prevent: but that, if I were
discovered and attacked by them, I knew my duty. On the
other hand, I argued with myself that this really was the way not
to deliver myself, but entirely to ruin and destroy myself; for
unless I was sure to kill every one that not only should be on
shore at that time, but that should ever come on shore
afterwards, if but one of them escaped to tell their
country-people what had happened, they would come over again by
thousands to revenge the death of their fellows, and I should
only bring upon myself a certain destruction, which, at present,
I had no manner of occasion for. Upon the whole, I
concluded that I ought, neither in principle nor in policy, one
way or other, to concern myself in this affair: that my business
was, by all possible means to conceal myself from them, and not
to leave the least sign for them to guess by that there were any
living creatures upon the island—I mean of human
shape. Religion joined in with this prudential resolution;
and I was convinced now, many ways, that I was perfectly out of
my duty when I was laying all my bloody schemes for the
destruction of innocent creatures—I mean innocent as to
me. As to the crimes they were guilty of towards one
another, I had nothing to do with them; they were national, and I
ought to leave them to the justice of God, who is the Governor of
nations, and knows how, by national punishments, to make a just
retribution for national offences, and to bring public judgments
upon those who offend in a public manner, by such ways as best
please Him. This appeared so clear to me now, that nothing
was a greater satisfaction to me than that I had not been
suffered to do a thing which I now saw so much reason to believe
would have been no less a sin than that of wilful murder if I had
committed it; and I gave most humble thanks on my knees to God,
that He had thus delivered me from blood-guiltiness; beseeching
Him to grant me the protection of His providence, that I might
not fall into the hands of the barbarians, or that I might not
lay my hands upon them, unless I had a more clear call from
Heaven to do it, in defence of my own life.</p>
<p>In this disposition I continued for near a year after this;
and so far was I from desiring an occasion for falling upon these
wretches, that in all that time I never once went up the hill to
see whether there were any of them in sight, or to know whether
any of them had been on shore there or not, that I might not be
tempted to renew any of my contrivances against them, or be
provoked by any advantage that might present itself to fall upon
them; only this I did: I went and removed my boat, which I had on
the other side of the island, and carried it down to the east end
of the whole island, where I ran it into a little cove, which I
found under some high rocks, and where I knew, by reason of the
currents, the savages durst not, at least would not, come with
their boats upon any account whatever. With my boat I
carried away everything that I had left there belonging to her,
though not necessary for the bare going thither—viz. a mast
and sail which I had made for her, and a thing like an anchor,
but which, indeed, could not be called either anchor or grapnel;
however, it was the best I could make of its kind: all these I
removed, that there might not be the least shadow for discovery,
or appearance of any boat, or of any human habitation upon the
island. Besides this, I kept myself, as I said, more
retired than ever, and seldom went from my cell except upon my
constant employment, to milk my she-goats, and manage my little
flock in the wood, which, as it was quite on the other part of
the island, was out of danger; for certain, it is that these
savage people, who sometimes haunted this island, never came with
any thoughts of finding anything here, and consequently never
wandered off from the coast, and I doubt not but they might have
been several times on shore after my apprehensions of them had
made me cautious, as well as before. Indeed, I looked back
with some horror upon the thoughts of what my condition would
have been if I had chopped upon them and been discovered before
that; when, naked and unarmed, except with one gun, and that
loaded often only with small shot, I walked everywhere, peeping
and peering about the island, to see what I could get; what a
surprise should I have been in if, when I discovered the print of
a man’s foot, I had, instead of that, seen fifteen or
twenty savages, and found them pursuing me, and by the swiftness
of their running no possibility of my escaping them! The
thoughts of this sometimes sank my very soul within me, and
distressed my mind so much that I could not soon recover it, to
think what I should have done, and how I should not only have
been unable to resist them, but even should not have had presence
of mind enough to do what I might have done; much less what now,
after so much consideration and preparation, I might be able to
do. Indeed, after serious thinking of these things, I would
be melancholy, and sometimes it would last a great while; but I
resolved it all at last into thankfulness to that Providence
which had delivered me from so many unseen dangers, and had kept
me from those mischiefs which I could have no way been the agent
in delivering myself from, because I had not the least notion of
any such thing depending, or the least supposition of its being
possible. This renewed a contemplation which often had come
into my thoughts in former times, when first I began to see the
merciful dispositions of Heaven, in the dangers we run through in
this life; how wonderfully we are delivered when we know nothing
of it; how, when we are in a quandary as we call it, a doubt or
hesitation whether to go this way or that way, a secret hint
shall direct us this way, when we intended to go that way: nay,
when sense, our own inclination, and perhaps business has called
us to go the other way, yet a strange impression upon the mind,
from we know not what springs, and by we know not what power,
shall overrule us to go this way; and it shall afterwards appear
that had we gone that way, which we should have gone, and even to
our imagination ought to have gone, we should have been ruined
and lost. Upon these and many like reflections I afterwards
made it a certain rule with me, that whenever I found those
secret hints or pressings of mind to doing or not doing anything
that presented, or going this way or that way, I never failed to
obey the secret dictate; though I knew no other reason for it
than such a pressure or such a hint hung upon my mind. I
could give many examples of the success of this conduct in the
course of my life, but more especially in the latter part of my
inhabiting this unhappy island; besides many occasions which it
is very likely I might have taken notice of, if I had seen with
the same eyes then that I see with now. But it is never too
late to be wise; and I cannot but advise all considering men,
whose lives are attended with such extraordinary incidents as
mine, or even though not so extraordinary, not to slight such
secret intimations of Providence, let them come from what
invisible intelligence they will. That I shall not discuss,
and perhaps cannot account for; but certainly they are a proof of
the converse of spirits, and a secret communication between those
embodied and those unembodied, and such a proof as can never be
withstood; of which I shall have occasion to give some remarkable
instances in the remainder of my solitary residence in this
dismal place.</p>
<p>I believe the reader of this will not think it strange if I
confess that these anxieties, these constant dangers I lived in,
and the concern that was now upon me, put an end to all
invention, and to all the contrivances that I had laid for my
future accommodations and conveniences. I had the care of
my safety more now upon my hands than that of my food. I
cared not to drive a nail, or chop a stick of wood now, for fear
the noise I might make should be heard: much less would I fire a
gun for the same reason: and above all I was intolerably uneasy
at making any fire, lest the smoke, which is visible at a great
distance in the day, should betray me. For this reason, I
removed that part of my business which required fire, such as
burning of pots and pipes, &c., into my new apartment in the
woods; where, after I had been some time, I found, to my
unspeakable consolation, a mere natural cave in the earth, which
went in a vast way, and where, I daresay, no savage, had he been
at the mouth of it, would be so hardy as to venture in; nor,
indeed, would any man else, but one who, like me, wanted nothing
so much as a safe retreat.</p>
<p>The mouth of this hollow was at the bottom of a great rock,
where, by mere accident (I would say, if I did not see abundant
reason to ascribe all such things now to Providence), I was
cutting down some thick branches of trees to make charcoal; and
before I go on I must observe the reason of my making this
charcoal, which was this—I was afraid of making a smoke
about my habitation, as I said before; and yet I could not live
there without baking my bread, cooking my meat, &c.; so I
contrived to burn some wood here, as I had seen done in England,
under turf, till it became chark or dry coal: and then putting
the fire out, I preserved the coal to carry home, and perform the
other services for which fire was wanting, without danger of
smoke. But this is by-the-bye. While I was cutting
down some wood here, I perceived that, behind a very thick branch
of low brushwood or underwood, there was a kind of hollow place:
I was curious to look in it; and getting with difficulty into the
mouth of it, I found it was pretty large, that is to say,
sufficient for me to stand upright in it, and perhaps another
with me: but I must confess to you that I made more haste out
than I did in, when looking farther into the place, and which was
perfectly dark, I saw two broad shining eyes of some creature,
whether devil or man I knew not, which twinkled like two stars;
the dim light from the cave’s mouth shining directly in,
and making the reflection. However, after some pause I
recovered myself, and began to call myself a thousand fools, and
to think that he that was afraid to see the devil was not fit to
live twenty years in an island all alone; and that I might well
think there was nothing in this cave that was more frightful than
myself. Upon this, plucking up my courage, I took up a
firebrand, and in I rushed again, with the stick flaming in my
hand: I had not gone three steps in before I was almost as
frightened as before; for I heard a very loud sigh, like that of
a man in some pain, and it was followed by a broken noise, as of
words half expressed, and then a deep sigh again. I stepped
back, and was indeed struck with such a surprise that it put me
into a cold sweat, and if I had had a hat on my head, I will not
answer for it that my hair might not have lifted it off.
But still plucking up my spirits as well as I could, and
encouraging myself a little with considering that the power and
presence of God was everywhere, and was able to protect me, I
stepped forward again, and by the light of the firebrand, holding
it up a little over my head, I saw lying on the ground a
monstrous, frightful old he-goat, just making his will, as we
say, and gasping for life, and, dying, indeed, of mere old
age. I stirred him a little to see if I could get him out,
and he essayed to get up, but was not able to raise himself; and
I thought with myself he might even lie there—for if he had
frightened me, so he would certainly fright any of the savages,
if any of them should be so hardy as to come in there while he
had any life in him.</p>
<p>I was now recovered from my surprise, and began to look round
me, when I found the cave was but very small—that is to
say, it might be about twelve feet over, but in no manner of
shape, neither round nor square, no hands having ever been
employed in making it but those of mere Nature. I observed
also that there was a place at the farther side of it that went
in further, but was so low that it required me to creep upon my
hands and knees to go into it, and whither it went I knew not;
so, having no candle, I gave it over for that time, but resolved
to go again the next day provided with candles and a tinder-box,
which I had made of the lock of one of the muskets, with some
wildfire in the pan.</p>
<p>Accordingly, the next day I came provided with six large
candles of my own making (for I made very good candles now of
goat’s tallow, but was hard set for candle-wick, using
sometimes rags or rope-yarn, and sometimes the dried rind of a
weed like nettles); and going into this low place I was obliged
to creep upon all-fours as I have said, almost ten
yards—which, by the way, I thought was a venture bold
enough, considering that I knew not how far it might go, nor what
was beyond it. When I had got through the strait, I found
the roof rose higher up, I believe near twenty feet; but never
was such a glorious sight seen in the island, I daresay, as it
was to look round the sides and roof of this vault or
cave—the wall reflected a hundred thousand lights to me
from my two candles. What it was in the rock—whether
diamonds or any other precious stones, or gold which I rather
supposed it to be—I knew not. The place I was in was
a most delightful cavity, or grotto, though perfectly dark; the
floor was dry and level, and had a sort of a small loose gravel
upon it, so that there was no nauseous or venomous creature to be
seen, neither was there any damp or wet on the sides or
roof. The only difficulty in it was the
entrance—which, however, as it was a place of security, and
such a retreat as I wanted; I thought was a convenience; so that
I was really rejoiced at the discovery, and resolved, without any
delay, to bring some of those things which I was most anxious
about to this place: particularly, I resolved to bring hither my
magazine of powder, and all my spare arms—viz. two
fowling-pieces—for I had three in all—and three
muskets—for of them I had eight in all; so I kept in my
castle only five, which stood ready mounted like pieces of cannon
on my outmost fence, and were ready also to take out upon any
expedition. Upon this occasion of removing my ammunition I
happened to open the barrel of powder which I took up out of the
sea, and which had been wet, and I found that the water had
penetrated about three or four inches into the powder on every
side, which caking and growing hard, had preserved the inside
like a kernel in the shell, so that I had near sixty pounds of
very good powder in the centre of the cask. This was a very
agreeable discovery to me at that time; so I carried all away
thither, never keeping above two or three pounds of powder with
me in my castle, for fear of a surprise of any kind; I also
carried thither all the lead I had left for bullets.</p>
<p>I fancied myself now like one of the ancient giants who were
said to live in caves and holes in the rocks, where none could
come at them; for I persuaded myself, while I was here, that if
five hundred savages were to hunt me, they could never find me
out—or if they did, they would not venture to attack me
here. The old goat whom I found expiring died in the mouth
of the cave the next day after I made this discovery; and I found
it much easier to dig a great hole there, and throw him in and
cover him with earth, than to drag him out; so I interred him
there, to prevent offence to my nose.</p>
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