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<h2> CHAPTER XX. EXPLANATION </h2>
<p>Determined to know the cause of Mrs. Packard’s anguish, if not of Nixon’s
unprovoked anger against myself, I caught him back as he was passing me
and peremptorily demanded:</p>
<p>“What message did you carry to Mrs. Packard to throw her into such a state
as this? Answer! I am in this house to protect her against all such
disturbances. What did you tell her?”</p>
<p>“Nothing.”</p>
<p>Sullenness itself in the tone.</p>
<p>“Nothing? and you were sent on an errand? Didn’t you fulfil it?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“And didn’t tell her what you learned?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“She didn’t give me the chance.”</p>
<p>“Oh!”</p>
<p>“I know it sounds queer, Miss, but it’s true. She didn’t give me a chance
to talk.”</p>
<p>He muttered the final sentence. Indeed, all that we had said until now had
been in a subdued tone, but now my voice unconsciously rose.</p>
<p>“You found Mr. Steele?”</p>
<p>“No, Miss, he was not at home.”</p>
<p>“But they told you where to look for him?”</p>
<p>“No. His landlady thinks he is dead. He has queer spells, and some one had
sent her word about a man, handsome like him, who was found dead at Hudson
Three Corners last night. Mr. Steele told her he was going over to Hudson
Three Corners. She has sent to see if the dead man is he.”</p>
<p>“The dead man!”</p>
<p>Who spoke? Not Mrs. Packard! Surely that voice was another’s. Yet we both
looked up to see:</p>
<p>The sight which met our eyes was astonishing, appalling. She had let her
baby slip to the floor and had advanced to the stairs, where she stood,
clutching at the rail, looking down upon us, with a joy in her face
matching the unholy elation we could still hear ringing in that word
“dead.”</p>
<p>Such a look might have leaped to life in the eyes of the Medusa when she
turned her beauty upon her foredoomed victims.</p>
<p>“Dead!” came again in ringing repetition from Mrs. Packard’s lips, every
fiber in her tense form quivering and the gleam of hope shining brighter
and brighter in her countenance. “No, not dead!” Then while Nixon trembled
and succumbed inwardly to this spectacle of a gentle-hearted woman
transformed by some secret and overwhelming emotion into an image of
vindictive delight, her hands left the stair-rail and flew straight up
over her head in the transcendent gesture which only the greatest crises
in life call forth, and she exclaimed with awe-inspiring emphasis: “God
could not have been so merciful!”</p>
<p>It is not often, perhaps it is only once in a lifetime, that it is given
us to look straight into the innermost recesses of the human soul. Never
before had such an opportunity come to me, and possibly never would it
come again, yet my first conscious impulse was one of fright at the
appalling self-revelation she had made, not only in my hearing, but in
that of nearly her whole household. I could see, over her shoulders,
Letty’s eyes staring wide in ingenuous dismay, while from the hall below
rose the sound of hurrying feet as the girls came running in from the
kitchen. Something must be done, and immediately, to recall her to
herself, and, if possible, to reinstate her in the eyes of her servants.</p>
<p>Bounding upward to where she still stood forgetful and self-absorbed, I
laid my hands softly but firmly on hers, which had fallen back upon the
rail, and quietly said:</p>
<p>“You have some very strong reason, I see, for looking upon Mr. Steele as
your husband’s enemy rather than friend.”</p>
<p>The appeal was timely. With a start she woke to the realization of her
position and of the suggestive words she had just uttered, and with a
glance behind her at Letty and another at Nixon and the maids, who by this
time had pushed their way to the foot of the stairs, she gathered herself
up with a determination born of the necessity of the moment and
emphatically replied:</p>
<p>“No; I do not know Mr. Steele well enough for that. My emotion at the
unexpected tidings of his possible death springs from another cause.” Here
the help, the explanation for which she had been searching, came. “Girls,”
she went on, addressing them with an emphasis which drew all eyes, “I am
ashamed to tell you what has so deeply disturbed me these last few days. I
should blame any one of you for being affected as I was. The great love I
bear my husband and child is my excuse—a poor one, I know, but one
you will understand. A week ago something happened to me in the library
which frightened me very much. I saw—or thought I saw—what
some would call an apparition, but what you would call a ghost. Don’t
shriek!” [The two girls behind me had begun to scream and make as if to
run away.] “It was all imagination, of course—there can not really
be any such thing. Ghosts in these days? Pshaw! But I was very, nervous
that night and could not help feeling that the mere fact of my thinking of
anything so dreadful meant misfortune to some one in this house. Wait!”
Her voice was imperious; and the shivering, terrified girls, superstitious
to the backbone, stopped in spite of themselves. “You must hear it all,
and you, too, Miss Saunders, who have only heard half. I was badly
frightened then, especially as the ghost, spirit-man, or whatever it was,
wore a look, in the one short moment I stood face to face with it, full of
threat and warning. Next day Mr. Packard introduced his new secretary.
Girls, he had the face of the Something I had seen, without the
threatening look, which had so alarmed me.”</p>
<p>“Bad ‘cess to him!” rang in vigorous denunciation from the cook. “Why
didn’t ye send him ‘mejitly about his business? It’s trouble he’ll bring
to us all and no mistake!”</p>
<p>“That was what I feared,” assented her now thoroughly composed mistress.
“So when Nixon said just now that Mr. Steele was dead, had fallen in a fit
at Hudson Three Corners or something like that—I felt such wicked
relief at finding that my experience had not meant danger to ourselves,
but to him—wicked, because it was so selfish—that I forgot
myself and cried out in the way you all heard. Blame me if you will, but
don’t frighten yourselves by talking about it. If Mr. Steele is indeed
dead, we have enough to trouble us without that.”</p>
<p>And with a last glance at me, which ended in a wavering half-deprecatory
smile, she stepped back and passed into her own room.</p>
<p>The mood in which I proceeded to my own quarters was as thoughtful as any
I had ever experienced.</p>
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