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<h2> Chapter 23 </h2>
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<h3> Traveling Incognito </h3>
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<p>MY idea was, to tarry a while in every town between St. Louis and New
Orleans. To do this, it would be necessary to go from place to place by
the short packet lines. It was an easy plan to make, and would have been
an easy one to follow, twenty years ago—but not now. There are wide
intervals between boats, these days.</p>
<p>I wanted to begin with the interesting old French settlements of St.
Genevieve and Kaskaskia, sixty miles below St. Louis. There was only one
boat advertised for that section—a Grand Tower packet. Still, one
boat was enough; so we went down to look at her. She was a venerable
rack-heap, and a fraud to boot; for she was playing herself for personal
property, whereas the good honest dirt was so thickly caked all over her
that she was righteously taxable as real estate. There are places in New
England where her hurricane deck would be worth a hundred and fifty
dollars an acre. The soil on her forecastle was quite good—the new
crop of wheat was already springing from the cracks in protected places.
The companionway was of a dry sandy character, and would have been well
suited for grapes, with a southern exposure and a little subsoiling. The
soil of the boiler deck was thin and rocky, but good enough for grazing
purposes. A colored boy was on watch here—nobody else visible. We
gathered from him that this calm craft would go, as advertised, 'if she
got her trip;' if she didn't get it, she would wait for it.</p>
<p>'Has she got any of her trip?'</p>
<p>'Bless you, no, boss. She ain't unloadened, yit. She only come in dis
mawnin'.'</p>
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<p>He was uncertain as to when she might get her trip, but thought it might
be to-morrow or maybe next day. This would not answer at all; so we had to
give up the novelty of sailing down the river on a farm. We had one more
arrow in our quiver: a Vicksburg packet, the 'Gold Dust,' was to leave at
5 P.M. We took passage in her for Memphis, and gave up the idea of
stopping off here and there, as being impracticable. She was neat, clean,
and comfortable. We camped on the boiler deck, and bought some cheap
literature to kill time with. The vender was a venerable Irishman with a
benevolent face and a tongue that worked easily in the socket, and from
him we learned that he had lived in St. Louis thirty-four years and had
never been across the river during that period. Then he wandered into a
very flowing lecture, filled with classic names and allusions, which was
quite wonderful for fluency until the fact became rather apparent that
this was not the first time, nor perhaps the fiftieth, that the speech had
been delivered. He was a good deal of a character, and much better company
than the sappy literature he was selling. A random remark, connecting
Irishmen and beer, brought this nugget of information out of him—</p>
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<p>They don't drink it, sir. They can't drink it, sir. Give an Irishman lager
for a month, and he's a dead man. An Irishman is lined with copper, and
the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of
him, sir.'</p>
<p>At eight o'clock, promptly, we backed out and crossed the river. As we
crept toward the shore, in the thick darkness, a blinding glory of white
electric light burst suddenly from our forecastle, and lit up the water
and the warehouses as with a noon-day glare. Another big change, this—no
more flickering, smoky, pitch-dripping, ineffectual torch-baskets, now:
their day is past. Next, instead of calling out a score of hands to man
the stage, a couple of men and a hatful of steam lowered it from the
derrick where it was suspended, launched it, deposited it in just the
right spot, and the whole thing was over and done with before a mate in
the olden time could have got his profanity-mill adjusted to begin the
preparatory services. Why this new and simple method of handling the
stages was not thought of when the first steamboat was built, is a mystery
which helps one to realize what a dull-witted slug the average human being
is.</p>
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<p>We finally got away at two in the morning, and when I turned out at six,
we were rounding to at a rocky point where there was an old stone
warehouse—at any rate, the ruins of it; two or three decayed
dwelling-houses were near by, in the shelter of the leafy hills; but there
were no evidences of human or other animal life to be seen. I wondered if
I had forgotten the river; for I had no recollection whatever of this
place; the shape of the river, too, was unfamiliar; there was nothing in
sight, anywhere, that I could remember ever having seen before. I was
surprised, disappointed, and annoyed.</p>
<p>We put ashore a well-dressed lady and gentleman, and two well-dressed,
lady-like young girls, together with sundry Russia-leather bags. A strange
place for such folk! No carriage was waiting. The party moved off as if
they had not expected any, and struck down a winding country road afoot.</p>
<p>But the mystery was explained when we got under way again; for these
people were evidently bound for a large town which lay shut in behind a
tow-head (i.e., new island) a couple of miles below this landing. I
couldn't remember that town; I couldn't place it, couldn't call its name.
So I lost part of my temper. I suspected that it might be St. Genevieve—and
so it proved to be. Observe what this eccentric river had been about: it
had built up this huge useless tow-head directly in front of this town,
cut off its river communications, fenced it away completely, and made a
'country' town of it. It is a fine old place, too, and deserved a better
fate. It was settled by the French, and is a relic of a time when one
could travel from the mouths of the Mississippi to Quebec and be on French
territory and under French rule all the way.</p>
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<p>Presently I ascended to the hurricane deck and cast a longing glance
toward the pilot-house.</p>
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