<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0128" id="link2HCH0128"></SPAN></p>
<h2> CHAPTER 128. The Pequod Meets The Rachel. </h2>
<p>Next day, a large ship, the Rachel, was descried, bearing directly down
upon the Pequod, all her spars thickly clustering with men. At the time
the Pequod was making good speed through the water; but as the
broad-winged windward stranger shot nigh to her, the boastful sails all
fell together as blank bladders that are burst, and all life fled from the
smitten hull.</p>
<p>"Bad news; she brings bad news," muttered the old Manxman. But ere her
commander, who, with trumpet to mouth, stood up in his boat; ere he could
hopefully hail, Ahab's voice was heard.</p>
<p>"Hast seen the White Whale?"</p>
<p>"Aye, yesterday. Have ye seen a whale-boat adrift?"</p>
<p>Throttling his joy, Ahab negatively answered this unexpected question; and
would then have fain boarded the stranger, when the stranger captain
himself, having stopped his vessel's way, was seen descending her side. A
few keen pulls, and his boat-hook soon clinched the Pequod's main-chains,
and he sprang to the deck. Immediately he was recognised by Ahab for a
Nantucketer he knew. But no formal salutation was exchanged.</p>
<p>"Where was he?—not killed!—not killed!" cried Ahab, closely
advancing. "How was it?"</p>
<p>It seemed that somewhat late on the afternoon of the day previous, while
three of the stranger's boats were engaged with a shoal of whales, which
had led them some four or five miles from the ship; and while they were
yet in swift chase to windward, the white hump and head of Moby Dick had
suddenly loomed up out of the water, not very far to leeward; whereupon,
the fourth rigged boat—a reserved one—had been instantly
lowered in chase. After a keen sail before the wind, this fourth boat—the
swiftest keeled of all—seemed to have succeeded in fastening—at
least, as well as the man at the mast-head could tell anything about it.
In the distance he saw the diminished dotted boat; and then a swift gleam
of bubbling white water; and after that nothing more; whence it was
concluded that the stricken whale must have indefinitely run away with his
pursuers, as often happens. There was some apprehension, but no positive
alarm, as yet. The recall signals were placed in the rigging; darkness
came on; and forced to pick up her three far to windward boats—ere
going in quest of the fourth one in the precisely opposite direction—the
ship had not only been necessitated to leave that boat to its fate till
near midnight, but, for the time, to increase her distance from it. But
the rest of her crew being at last safe aboard, she crowded all sail—stunsail
on stunsail—after the missing boat; kindling a fire in her try-pots
for a beacon; and every other man aloft on the look-out. But though when
she had thus sailed a sufficient distance to gain the presumed place of
the absent ones when last seen; though she then paused to lower her spare
boats to pull all around her; and not finding anything, had again dashed
on; again paused, and lowered her boats; and though she had thus continued
doing till daylight; yet not the least glimpse of the missing keel had
been seen.</p>
<p>The story told, the stranger Captain immediately went on to reveal his
object in boarding the Pequod. He desired that ship to unite with his own
in the search; by sailing over the sea some four or five miles apart, on
parallel lines, and so sweeping a double horizon, as it were.</p>
<p>"I will wager something now," whispered Stubb to Flask, "that some one in
that missing boat wore off that Captain's best coat; mayhap, his watch—he's
so cursed anxious to get it back. Who ever heard of two pious whale-ships
cruising after one missing whale-boat in the height of the whaling season?
See, Flask, only see how pale he looks—pale in the very buttons of
his eyes—look—it wasn't the coat—it must have been the—"</p>
<p>"My boy, my own boy is among them. For God's sake—I beg, I conjure"—here
exclaimed the stranger Captain to Ahab, who thus far had but icily
received his petition. "For eight-and-forty hours let me charter your ship—I
will gladly pay for it, and roundly pay for it—if there be no other
way—for eight-and-forty hours only—only that—you must,
oh, you must, and you SHALL do this thing."</p>
<p>"His son!" cried Stubb, "oh, it's his son he's lost! I take back the coat
and watch—what says Ahab? We must save that boy."</p>
<p>"He's drowned with the rest on 'em, last night," said the old Manx sailor
standing behind them; "I heard; all of ye heard their spirits."</p>
<p>Now, as it shortly turned out, what made this incident of the Rachel's the
more melancholy, was the circumstance, that not only was one of the
Captain's sons among the number of the missing boat's crew; but among the
number of the other boat's crews, at the same time, but on the other hand,
separated from the ship during the dark vicissitudes of the chase, there
had been still another son; as that for a time, the wretched father was
plunged to the bottom of the cruellest perplexity; which was only solved
for him by his chief mate's instinctively adopting the ordinary procedure
of a whale-ship in such emergencies, that is, when placed between
jeopardized but divided boats, always to pick up the majority first. But
the captain, for some unknown constitutional reason, had refrained from
mentioning all this, and not till forced to it by Ahab's iciness did he
allude to his one yet missing boy; a little lad, but twelve years old,
whose father with the earnest but unmisgiving hardihood of a Nantucketer's
paternal love, had thus early sought to initiate him in the perils and
wonders of a vocation almost immemorially the destiny of all his race. Nor
does it unfrequently occur, that Nantucket captains will send a son of
such tender age away from them, for a protracted three or four years'
voyage in some other ship than their own; so that their first knowledge of
a whaleman's career shall be unenervated by any chance display of a
father's natural but untimely partiality, or undue apprehensiveness and
concern.</p>
<p>Meantime, now the stranger was still beseeching his poor boon of Ahab; and
Ahab still stood like an anvil, receiving every shock, but without the
least quivering of his own.</p>
<p>"I will not go," said the stranger, "till you say aye to me. Do to me as
you would have me do to you in the like case. For YOU too have a boy,
Captain Ahab—though but a child, and nestling safely at home now—a
child of your old age too—Yes, yes, you relent; I see it—run,
run, men, now, and stand by to square in the yards."</p>
<p>"Avast," cried Ahab—"touch not a rope-yarn"; then in a voice that
prolongingly moulded every word—"Captain Gardiner, I will not do it.
Even now I lose time. Good-bye, good-bye. God bless ye, man, and may I
forgive myself, but I must go. Mr. Starbuck, look at the binnacle watch,
and in three minutes from this present instant warn off all strangers:
then brace forward again, and let the ship sail as before."</p>
<p>Hurriedly turning, with averted face, he descended into his cabin, leaving
the strange captain transfixed at this unconditional and utter rejection
of his so earnest suit. But starting from his enchantment, Gardiner
silently hurried to the side; more fell than stepped into his boat, and
returned to his ship.</p>
<p>Soon the two ships diverged their wakes; and long as the strange vessel
was in view, she was seen to yaw hither and thither at every dark spot,
however small, on the sea. This way and that her yards were swung round;
starboard and larboard, she continued to tack; now she beat against a head
sea; and again it pushed her before it; while all the while, her masts and
yards were thickly clustered with men, as three tall cherry trees, when
the boys are cherrying among the boughs.</p>
<p>But by her still halting course and winding, woeful way, you plainly saw
that this ship that so wept with spray, still remained without comfort.
She was Rachel, weeping for her children, because they were not.</p>
<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0129" id="link2HCH0129"></SPAN></p>
<h2> CHAPTER 129. The Cabin. </h2>
<p>(AHAB MOVING TO GO ON DECK; PIP CATCHES HIM BY THE HAND TO FOLLOW.)</p>
<p>"Lad, lad, I tell thee thou must not follow Ahab now. The hour is coming
when Ahab would not scare thee from him, yet would not have thee by him.
There is that in thee, poor lad, which I feel too curing to my malady.
Like cures like; and for this hunt, my malady becomes my most desired
health. Do thou abide below here, where they shall serve thee, as if thou
wert the captain. Aye, lad, thou shalt sit here in my own screwed chair;
another screw to it, thou must be."</p>
<p>"No, no, no! ye have not a whole body, sir; do ye but use poor me for your
one lost leg; only tread upon me, sir; I ask no more, so I remain a part
of ye."</p>
<p>"Oh! spite of million villains, this makes me a bigot in the fadeless
fidelity of man!—and a black! and crazy!—but methinks
like-cures-like applies to him too; he grows so sane again."</p>
<p>"They tell me, sir, that Stubb did once desert poor little Pip, whose
drowned bones now show white, for all the blackness of his living skin.
But I will never desert ye, sir, as Stubb did him. Sir, I must go with
ye."</p>
<p>"If thou speakest thus to me much more, Ahab's purpose keels up in him. I
tell thee no; it cannot be."</p>
<p>"Oh good master, master, master!</p>
<p>"Weep so, and I will murder thee! have a care, for Ahab too is mad.
Listen, and thou wilt often hear my ivory foot upon the deck, and still
know that I am there. And now I quit thee. Thy hand!—Met! True art
thou, lad, as the circumference to its centre. So: God for ever bless
thee; and if it come to that,—God for ever save thee, let what will
befall."</p>
<p>(AHAB GOES; PIP STEPS ONE STEP FORWARD.)</p>
<p>"Here he this instant stood; I stand in his air,—but I'm alone. Now
were even poor Pip here I could endure it, but he's missing. Pip! Pip!
Ding, dong, ding! Who's seen Pip? He must be up here; let's try the door.
What? neither lock, nor bolt, nor bar; and yet there's no opening it. It
must be the spell; he told me to stay here: Aye, and told me this screwed
chair was mine. Here, then, I'll seat me, against the transom, in the
ship's full middle, all her keel and her three masts before me. Here, our
old sailors say, in their black seventy-fours great admirals sometimes sit
at table, and lord it over rows of captains and lieutenants. Ha! what's
this? epaulets! epaulets! the epaulets all come crowding! Pass round the
decanters; glad to see ye; fill up, monsieurs! What an odd feeling, now,
when a black boy's host to white men with gold lace upon their coats!—Monsieurs,
have ye seen one Pip?—a little negro lad, five feet high, hang-dog
look, and cowardly! Jumped from a whale-boat once;—seen him? No!
Well then, fill up again, captains, and let's drink shame upon all
cowards! I name no names. Shame upon them! Put one foot upon the table.
Shame upon all cowards.—Hist! above there, I hear ivory—Oh,
master! master! I am indeed down-hearted when you walk over me. But here
I'll stay, though this stern strikes rocks; and they bulge through; and
oysters come to join me."</p>
<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0130" id="link2HCH0130"></SPAN></p>
<h2> CHAPTER 130. The Hat. </h2>
<p>And now that at the proper time and place, after so long and wide a
preliminary cruise, Ahab,—all other whaling waters swept—seemed
to have chased his foe into an ocean-fold, to slay him the more securely
there; now, that he found himself hard by the very latitude and longitude
where his tormenting wound had been inflicted; now that a vessel had been
spoken which on the very day preceding had actually encountered Moby Dick;—and
now that all his successive meetings with various ships contrastingly
concurred to show the demoniac indifference with which the white whale
tore his hunters, whether sinning or sinned against; now it was that there
lurked a something in the old man's eyes, which it was hardly sufferable
for feeble souls to see. As the unsetting polar star, which through the
livelong, arctic, six months' night sustains its piercing, steady, central
gaze; so Ahab's purpose now fixedly gleamed down upon the constant
midnight of the gloomy crew. It domineered above them so, that all their
bodings, doubts, misgivings, fears, were fain to hide beneath their souls,
and not sprout forth a single spear or leaf.</p>
<p>In this foreshadowing interval too, all humor, forced or natural,
vanished. Stubb no more strove to raise a smile; Starbuck no more strove
to check one. Alike, joy and sorrow, hope and fear, seemed ground to
finest dust, and powdered, for the time, in the clamped mortar of Ahab's
iron soul. Like machines, they dumbly moved about the deck, ever conscious
that the old man's despot eye was on them.</p>
<p>But did you deeply scan him in his more secret confidential hours; when he
thought no glance but one was on him; then you would have seen that even
as Ahab's eyes so awed the crew's, the inscrutable Parsee's glance awed
his; or somehow, at least, in some wild way, at times affected it. Such an
added, gliding strangeness began to invest the thin Fedallah now; such
ceaseless shudderings shook him; that the men looked dubious at him; half
uncertain, as it seemed, whether indeed he were a mortal substance, or
else a tremulous shadow cast upon the deck by some unseen being's body.
And that shadow was always hovering there. For not by night, even, had
Fedallah ever certainly been known to slumber, or go below. He would stand
still for hours: but never sat or leaned; his wan but wondrous eyes did
plainly say—We two watchmen never rest.</p>
<p>Nor, at any time, by night or day could the mariners now step upon the
deck, unless Ahab was before them; either standing in his pivot-hole, or
exactly pacing the planks between two undeviating limits,—the
main-mast and the mizen; or else they saw him standing in the
cabin-scuttle,—his living foot advanced upon the deck, as if to
step; his hat slouched heavily over his eyes; so that however motionless
he stood, however the days and nights were added on, that he had not swung
in his hammock; yet hidden beneath that slouching hat, they could never
tell unerringly whether, for all this, his eyes were really closed at
times; or whether he was still intently scanning them; no matter, though
he stood so in the scuttle for a whole hour on the stretch, and the
unheeded night-damp gathered in beads of dew upon that stone-carved coat
and hat. The clothes that the night had wet, the next day's sunshine dried
upon him; and so, day after day, and night after night; he went no more
beneath the planks; whatever he wanted from the cabin that thing he sent
for.</p>
<p>He ate in the same open air; that is, his two only meals,—breakfast
and dinner: supper he never touched; nor reaped his beard; which darkly
grew all gnarled, as unearthed roots of trees blown over, which still grow
idly on at naked base, though perished in the upper verdure. But though
his whole life was now become one watch on deck; and though the Parsee's
mystic watch was without intermission as his own; yet these two never
seemed to speak—one man to the other—unless at long intervals
some passing unmomentous matter made it necessary. Though such a potent
spell seemed secretly to join the twain; openly, and to the awe-struck
crew, they seemed pole-like asunder. If by day they chanced to speak one
word; by night, dumb men were both, so far as concerned the slightest
verbal interchange. At times, for longest hours, without a single hail,
they stood far parted in the starlight; Ahab in his scuttle, the Parsee by
the mainmast; but still fixedly gazing upon each other; as if in the
Parsee Ahab saw his forethrown shadow, in Ahab the Parsee his abandoned
substance.</p>
<p>And yet, somehow, did Ahab—in his own proper self, as daily, hourly,
and every instant, commandingly revealed to his subordinates,—Ahab
seemed an independent lord; the Parsee but his slave. Still again both
seemed yoked together, and an unseen tyrant driving them; the lean shade
siding the solid rib. For be this Parsee what he may, all rib and keel was
solid Ahab.</p>
<p>At the first faintest glimmering of the dawn, his iron voice was heard
from aft,—"Man the mast-heads!"—and all through the day, till
after sunset and after twilight, the same voice every hour, at the
striking of the helmsman's bell, was heard—"What d'ye see?—sharp!
sharp!"</p>
<p>But when three or four days had slided by, after meeting the
children-seeking Rachel; and no spout had yet been seen; the monomaniac
old man seemed distrustful of his crew's fidelity; at least, of nearly all
except the Pagan harpooneers; he seemed to doubt, even, whether Stubb and
Flask might not willingly overlook the sight he sought. But if these
suspicions were really his, he sagaciously refrained from verbally
expressing them, however his actions might seem to hint them.</p>
<p>"I will have the first sight of the whale myself,"—he said. "Aye!
Ahab must have the doubloon! and with his own hands he rigged a nest of
basketed bowlines; and sending a hand aloft, with a single sheaved block,
to secure to the main-mast head, he received the two ends of the
downward-reeved rope; and attaching one to his basket prepared a pin for
the other end, in order to fasten it at the rail. This done, with that end
yet in his hand and standing beside the pin, he looked round upon his
crew, sweeping from one to the other; pausing his glance long upon Daggoo,
Queequeg, Tashtego; but shunning Fedallah; and then settling his firm
relying eye upon the chief mate, said,—"Take the rope, sir—I
give it into thy hands, Starbuck." Then arranging his person in the
basket, he gave the word for them to hoist him to his perch, Starbuck
being the one who secured the rope at last; and afterwards stood near it.
And thus, with one hand clinging round the royal mast, Ahab gazed abroad
upon the sea for miles and miles,—ahead, astern, this side, and
that,—within the wide expanded circle commanded at so great a
height.</p>
<p>When in working with his hands at some lofty almost isolated place in the
rigging, which chances to afford no foothold, the sailor at sea is hoisted
up to that spot, and sustained there by the rope; under these
circumstances, its fastened end on deck is always given in strict charge
to some one man who has the special watch of it. Because in such a
wilderness of running rigging, whose various different relations aloft
cannot always be infallibly discerned by what is seen of them at the deck;
and when the deck-ends of these ropes are being every few minutes cast
down from the fastenings, it would be but a natural fatality, if,
unprovided with a constant watchman, the hoisted sailor should by some
carelessness of the crew be cast adrift and fall all swooping to the sea.
So Ahab's proceedings in this matter were not unusual; the only strange
thing about them seemed to be, that Starbuck, almost the one only man who
had ever ventured to oppose him with anything in the slightest degree
approaching to decision—one of those too, whose faithfulness on the
look-out he had seemed to doubt somewhat;—it was strange, that this
was the very man he should select for his watchman; freely giving his
whole life into such an otherwise distrusted person's hands.</p>
<p>Now, the first time Ahab was perched aloft; ere he had been there ten
minutes; one of those red-billed savage sea-hawks which so often fly
incommodiously close round the manned mast-heads of whalemen in these
latitudes; one of these birds came wheeling and screaming round his head
in a maze of untrackably swift circlings. Then it darted a thousand feet
straight up into the air; then spiralized downwards, and went eddying
again round his head.</p>
<p>But with his gaze fixed upon the dim and distant horizon, Ahab seemed not
to mark this wild bird; nor, indeed, would any one else have marked it
much, it being no uncommon circumstance; only now almost the least heedful
eye seemed to see some sort of cunning meaning in almost every sight.</p>
<p>"Your hat, your hat, sir!" suddenly cried the Sicilian seaman, who being
posted at the mizen-mast-head, stood directly behind Ahab, though somewhat
lower than his level, and with a deep gulf of air dividing them.</p>
<p>But already the sable wing was before the old man's eyes; the long hooked
bill at his head: with a scream, the black hawk darted away with his
prize.</p>
<p>An eagle flew thrice round Tarquin's head, removing his cap to replace it,
and thereupon Tanaquil, his wife, declared that Tarquin would be king of
Rome. But only by the replacing of the cap was that omen accounted good.
Ahab's hat was never restored; the wild hawk flew on and on with it; far
in advance of the prow: and at last disappeared; while from the point of
that disappearance, a minute black spot was dimly discerned, falling from
that vast height into the sea.</p>
<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0131" id="link2HCH0131"></SPAN></p>
<h2> CHAPTER 131. The Pequod Meets The Delight. </h2>
<p>The intense Pequod sailed on; the rolling waves and days went by; the
life-buoy-coffin still lightly swung; and another ship, most miserably
misnamed the Delight, was descried. As she drew nigh, all eyes were fixed
upon her broad beams, called shears, which, in some whaling-ships, cross
the quarter-deck at the height of eight or nine feet; serving to carry the
spare, unrigged, or disabled boats.</p>
<p>Upon the stranger's shears were beheld the shattered, white ribs, and some
few splintered planks, of what had once been a whale-boat; but you now saw
through this wreck, as plainly as you see through the peeled,
half-unhinged, and bleaching skeleton of a horse.</p>
<p>"Hast seen the White Whale?"</p>
<p>"Look!" replied the hollow-cheeked captain from his taffrail; and with his
trumpet he pointed to the wreck.</p>
<p>"Hast killed him?"</p>
<p>"The harpoon is not yet forged that ever will do that," answered the
other, sadly glancing upon a rounded hammock on the deck, whose gathered
sides some noiseless sailors were busy in sewing together.</p>
<p>"Not forged!" and snatching Perth's levelled iron from the crotch, Ahab
held it out, exclaiming—"Look ye, Nantucketer; here in this hand I
hold his death! Tempered in blood, and tempered by lightning are these
barbs; and I swear to temper them triply in that hot place behind the fin,
where the White Whale most feels his accursed life!"</p>
<p>"Then God keep thee, old man—see'st thou that"—pointing to the
hammock—"I bury but one of five stout men, who were alive only
yesterday; but were dead ere night. Only THAT one I bury; the rest were
buried before they died; you sail upon their tomb." Then turning to his
crew—"Are ye ready there? place the plank then on the rail, and lift
the body; so, then—Oh! God"—advancing towards the hammock with
uplifted hands—"may the resurrection and the life—"</p>
<p>"Brace forward! Up helm!" cried Ahab like lightning to his men.</p>
<p>But the suddenly started Pequod was not quick enough to escape the sound
of the splash that the corpse soon made as it struck the sea; not so
quick, indeed, but that some of the flying bubbles might have sprinkled
her hull with their ghostly baptism.</p>
<p>As Ahab now glided from the dejected Delight, the strange life-buoy
hanging at the Pequod's stern came into conspicuous relief.</p>
<p>"Ha! yonder! look yonder, men!" cried a foreboding voice in her wake. "In
vain, oh, ye strangers, ye fly our sad burial; ye but turn us your
taffrail to show us your coffin!"</p>
<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0132" id="link2HCH0132"></SPAN></p>
<h2> CHAPTER 132. The Symphony. </h2>
<p>It was a clear steel-blue day. The firmaments of air and sea were hardly
separable in that all-pervading azure; only, the pensive air was
transparently pure and soft, with a woman's look, and the robust and
man-like sea heaved with long, strong, lingering swells, as Samson's chest
in his sleep.</p>
<p>Hither, and thither, on high, glided the snow-white wings of small,
unspeckled birds; these were the gentle thoughts of the feminine air; but
to and fro in the deeps, far down in the bottomless blue, rushed mighty
leviathans, sword-fish, and sharks; and these were the strong, troubled,
murderous thinkings of the masculine sea.</p>
<p>But though thus contrasting within, the contrast was only in shades and
shadows without; those two seemed one; it was only the sex, as it were,
that distinguished them.</p>
<p>Aloft, like a royal czar and king, the sun seemed giving this gentle air
to this bold and rolling sea; even as bride to groom. And at the girdling
line of the horizon, a soft and tremulous motion—most seen here at
the Equator—denoted the fond, throbbing trust, the loving alarms,
with which the poor bride gave her bosom away.</p>
<p>Tied up and twisted; gnarled and knotted with wrinkles; haggardly firm and
unyielding; his eyes glowing like coals, that still glow in the ashes of
ruin; untottering Ahab stood forth in the clearness of the morn; lifting
his splintered helmet of a brow to the fair girl's forehead of heaven.</p>
<p>Oh, immortal infancy, and innocency of the azure! Invisible winged
creatures that frolic all round us! Sweet childhood of air and sky! how
oblivious were ye of old Ahab's close-coiled woe! But so have I seen
little Miriam and Martha, laughing-eyed elves, heedlessly gambol around
their old sire; sporting with the circle of singed locks which grew on the
marge of that burnt-out crater of his brain.</p>
<p>Slowly crossing the deck from the scuttle, Ahab leaned over the side and
watched how his shadow in the water sank and sank to his gaze, the more
and the more that he strove to pierce the profundity. But the lovely
aromas in that enchanted air did at last seem to dispel, for a moment, the
cankerous thing in his soul. That glad, happy air, that winsome sky, did
at last stroke and caress him; the step-mother world, so long cruel—forbidding—now
threw affectionate arms round his stubborn neck, and did seem to joyously
sob over him, as if over one, that however wilful and erring, she could
yet find it in her heart to save and to bless. From beneath his slouched
hat Ahab dropped a tear into the sea; nor did all the Pacific contain such
wealth as that one wee drop.</p>
<p>Starbuck saw the old man; saw him, how he heavily leaned over the side;
and he seemed to hear in his own true heart the measureless sobbing that
stole out of the centre of the serenity around. Careful not to touch him,
or be noticed by him, he yet drew near to him, and stood there.</p>
<p>Ahab turned.</p>
<p>"Starbuck!"</p>
<p>"Sir."</p>
<p>"Oh, Starbuck! it is a mild, mild wind, and a mild looking sky. On such a
day—very much such a sweetness as this—I struck my first whale—a
boy-harpooneer of eighteen! Forty—forty—forty years ago!—ago!
Forty years of continual whaling! forty years of privation, and peril, and
storm-time! forty years on the pitiless sea! for forty years has Ahab
forsaken the peaceful land, for forty years to make war on the horrors of
the deep! Aye and yes, Starbuck, out of those forty years I have not spent
three ashore. When I think of this life I have led; the desolation of
solitude it has been; the masoned, walled-town of a Captain's
exclusiveness, which admits but small entrance to any sympathy from the
green country without—oh, weariness! heaviness! Guinea-coast slavery
of solitary command!—when I think of all this; only half-suspected,
not so keenly known to me before—and how for forty years I have fed
upon dry salted fare—fit emblem of the dry nourishment of my soil!—when
the poorest landsman has had fresh fruit to his daily hand, and broken the
world's fresh bread to my mouldy crusts—away, whole oceans away,
from that young girl-wife I wedded past fifty, and sailed for Cape Horn
the next day, leaving but one dent in my marriage pillow—wife? wife?—rather
a widow with her husband alive! Aye, I widowed that poor girl when I
married her, Starbuck; and then, the madness, the frenzy, the boiling
blood and the smoking brow, with which, for a thousand lowerings old Ahab
has furiously, foamingly chased his prey—more a demon than a man!—aye,
aye! what a forty years' fool—fool—old fool, has old Ahab
been! Why this strife of the chase? why weary, and palsy the arm at the
oar, and the iron, and the lance? how the richer or better is Ahab now?
Behold. Oh, Starbuck! is it not hard, that with this weary load I bear,
one poor leg should have been snatched from under me? Here, brush this old
hair aside; it blinds me, that I seem to weep. Locks so grey did never
grow but from out some ashes! But do I look very old, so very, very old,
Starbuck? I feel deadly faint, bowed, and humped, as though I were Adam,
staggering beneath the piled centuries since Paradise. God! God! God!—crack
my heart!—stave my brain!—mockery! mockery! bitter, biting
mockery of grey hairs, have I lived enough joy to wear ye; and seem and
feel thus intolerably old? Close! stand close to me, Starbuck; let me look
into a human eye; it is better than to gaze into sea or sky; better than
to gaze upon God. By the green land; by the bright hearth-stone! this is
the magic glass, man; I see my wife and my child in thine eye. No, no;
stay on board, on board!—lower not when I do; when branded Ahab
gives chase to Moby Dick. That hazard shall not be thine. No, no! not with
the far away home I see in that eye!"</p>
<p>"Oh, my Captain! my Captain! noble soul! grand old heart, after all! why
should any one give chase to that hated fish! Away with me! let us fly
these deadly waters! let us home! Wife and child, too, are Starbuck's—wife
and child of his brotherly, sisterly, play-fellow youth; even as thine,
sir, are the wife and child of thy loving, longing, paternal old age!
Away! let us away!—this instant let me alter the course! How
cheerily, how hilariously, O my Captain, would we bowl on our way to see
old Nantucket again! I think, sir, they have some such mild blue days,
even as this, in Nantucket."</p>
<p>"They have, they have. I have seen them—some summer days in the
morning. About this time—yes, it is his noon nap now—the boy
vivaciously wakes; sits up in bed; and his mother tells him of me, of
cannibal old me; how I am abroad upon the deep, but will yet come back to
dance him again."</p>
<p>"'Tis my Mary, my Mary herself! She promised that my boy, every morning,
should be carried to the hill to catch the first glimpse of his father's
sail! Yes, yes! no more! it is done! we head for Nantucket! Come, my
Captain, study out the course, and let us away! See, see! the boy's face
from the window! the boy's hand on the hill!"</p>
<p>But Ahab's glance was averted; like a blighted fruit tree he shook, and
cast his last, cindered apple to the soil.</p>
<p>"What is it, what nameless, inscrutable, unearthly thing is it; what
cozening, hidden lord and master, and cruel, remorseless emperor commands
me; that against all natural lovings and longings, I so keep pushing, and
crowding, and jamming myself on all the time; recklessly making me ready
to do what in my own proper, natural heart, I durst not so much as dare?
Is Ahab, Ahab? Is it I, God, or who, that lifts this arm? But if the great
sun move not of himself; but is as an errand-boy in heaven; nor one single
star can revolve, but by some invisible power; how then can this one small
heart beat; this one small brain think thoughts; unless God does that
beating, does that thinking, does that living, and not I. By heaven, man,
we are turned round and round in this world, like yonder windlass, and
Fate is the handspike. And all the time, lo! that smiling sky, and this
unsounded sea! Look! see yon Albicore! who put it into him to chase and
fang that flying-fish? Where do murderers go, man! Who's to doom, when the
judge himself is dragged to the bar? But it is a mild, mild wind, and a
mild looking sky; and the air smells now, as if it blew from a far-away
meadow; they have been making hay somewhere under the slopes of the Andes,
Starbuck, and the mowers are sleeping among the new-mown hay. Sleeping?
Aye, toil we how we may, we all sleep at last on the field. Sleep? Aye,
and rust amid greenness; as last year's scythes flung down, and left in
the half-cut swaths—Starbuck!"</p>
<p>But blanched to a corpse's hue with despair, the Mate had stolen away.</p>
<p>Ahab crossed the deck to gaze over on the other side; but started at two
reflected, fixed eyes in the water there. Fedallah was motionlessly
leaning over the same rail.</p>
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