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<h1> MARK TWAIN’S SPEECHES </h1>
<p><br/><br/></p>
<h2> by Mark Twain </h2>
<p><br/><br/> <br/> <br/></p>
<hr />
<p><br/></p>
<blockquote>
<p><big><b>CONTENTS</b></big></p>
<p><br/></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_INTR"> INTRODUCTION </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_PREF"> PREFACE </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0003"> THE STORY OF A SPEECH </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0004"> PLYMOUTH ROCK AND THE PILGRIMS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0005"> COMPLIMENTS AND DEGREES </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0006"> BOOKS, AUTHORS, AND HATS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0007"> DEDICATION SPEECH </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0008"> DIE SCHRECKEN DER DEUTSCHEN SPRACHE </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0009"> GERMAN FOR THE HUNGARIANS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0010"> A NEW GERMAN WORD </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0011"> UNCONSCIOUS PLAGIARISM </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0012"> THE WEATHER </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0013"> THE BABIES </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0014"> OUR CHILDREN AND GREAT DISCOVERIES </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0015"> EDUCATING THEATRE-GOERS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0016"> THE EDUCATIONAL THEATRE </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0017"> POETS AS POLICEMEN </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0018"> PUDD’NHEAD WILSON DRAMATIZED </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0019"> DALY THEATRE </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0020"> THE DRESS OF CIVILIZED WOMAN </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0021"> DRESS REFORM AND COPYRIGHT </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0022"> COLLEGE GIRLS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0023"> GIRLS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0024"> THE LADIES </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0025"> WOMAN’S PRESS CLUB </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0026"> VOTES FOR WOMEN </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0027"> WOMAN-AN OPINION </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0028"> ADVICE TO GIRLS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0029"> TAXES AND MORALS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0030"> TAMMANY AND CROKER </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0031"> MUNICIPAL CORRUPTION </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0032"> MUNICIPAL GOVERNMENT </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0033"> CHINA AND THE PHILIPPINES </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0034"> THEORETICAL MORALS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0035"> LAYMAN’S SERMON </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0036"> UNIVERSITY SETTLEMENT SOCIETY </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0037"> PUBLIC EDUCATION ASSOCIATION </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0038"> EDUCATION AND CITIZENSHIP </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0039"> COURAGE </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0040"> THE DINNER TO MR. CHOATE </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0041"> ON STANLEY AND LIVINGSTONE </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0042"> HENRY M. STANLEY </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0043"> DINNER TO MR. JEROME </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0044"> HENRY IRVING </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0045"> DINNER TO HAMILTON W. MABIE </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0046"> INTRODUCING NYE AND RILEY </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0047"> DINNER TO WHITELAW REID </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0048"> ROGERS AND RAILROADS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0049"> THE OLD-FASHIONED PRINTER </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0050"> SOCIETY OF AMERICAN AUTHORS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0051"> READING-ROOM OPENING </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0052"> LITERATURE </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0053"> DISAPPEARANCE OF LITERATURE </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0054"> THE NEW YORK PRESS CLUB DINNER </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0055"> THE ALPHABET AND SIMPLIFIED SPELLING </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0056"> SPELLING AND PICTURES </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0057"> BOOKS AND BURGLARS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0058"> AUTHORS’ CLUB </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0059"> BOOKSELLERS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0060"> “MARK TWAIN’S FIRST APPEARANCE” </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0061"> MORALS AND MEMORY </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0062"> QUEEN VICTORIA </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0063"> JOAN OF ARC </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0064"> ACCIDENT INSURANCE—ETC. </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0065"> OSTEOPATHY </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0066"> WATER-SUPPLY </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0067"> MISTAKEN IDENTITY </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0068"> CATS AND CANDY </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0069"> OBITUARY POETRY </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0070"> CIGARS AND TOBACCO </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0071"> BILLIARDS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0072"> THE UNION RIGHT OR WRONG </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0073"> AN IDEAL FRENCH ADDRESS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0074"> STATISTICS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0075"> GALVESTON ORPHAN BAZAAR </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0076"> SAN FRANCISCO EARTHQUAKE </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0077"> CHARITY AND ACTORS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0078"> RUSSIAN REPUBLIC </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0079"> RUSSIAN SUFFERERS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0080"> WATTERSON AND TWAIN AS REBELS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0081"> ROBERT FULTON FUND </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0082"> FULTON DAY, JAMESTOWN </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0083"> LOTOS CLUB DINNER IN HONOR OF MARK TWAIN </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0084"> COPYRIGHT </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0085"> IN AID OF THE BLIND </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0086"> DR. MARK TWAIN, FARMEOPATH </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0087"> MISSOURI UNIVERSITY SPEECH </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0088"> BUSINESS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0089"> CARNEGIE THE BENEFACTOR </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0090"> ON POETRY, VERACITY, AND SUICIDE </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0091"> WELCOME HOME </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0092"> AN UNDELIVERED SPEECH </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0093"> SIXTY-SEVENTH BIRTHDAY </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0094"> TO THE WHITEFRIARS </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0095"> THE ASCOT GOLD CUP </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0096"> THE SAVAGE CLUB DINNER </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0097"> GENERAL MILES AND THE DOG </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0098"> WHEN IN DOUBT, TELL THE TRUTH </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0099"> THE DAY WE CELEBRATE </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0100"> INDEPENDENCE DAY </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0101"> AMERICANS AND THE ENGLISH </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0102"> ABOUT LONDON </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0103"> PRINCETON </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0104"> THE ST. LOUIS HARBOR-BOAT “MARK TWAIN” </SPAN></p>
<p><SPAN href="#link2H_4_0105"> SEVENTIETH BIRTHDAY </SPAN></p>
</blockquote>
<p><br/></p>
<hr />
<p><SPAN name="link2H_INTR" id="link2H_INTR"></SPAN></p>
<h2> INTRODUCTION </h2>
<p>These speeches will address themselves to the minds and hearts of those
who read them, but not with the effect they had with those who heard them;
Clemens himself would have said, not with half the effect. I have noted
elsewhere how he always held that the actor doubled the value of the
author’s words; and he was a great actor as well as a great author. He was
a most consummate actor, with this difference from other actors, that he
was the first to know the thoughts and invent the fancies to which his
voice and action gave the color of life. Representation is the art of
other actors; his art was creative as well as representative; it was
nothing at second hand.</p>
<p>I never heard Clemens speak when I thought he quite failed; some burst or
spurt redeemed him when he seemed flagging short of the goal, and, whoever
else was in the running, he came in ahead. His near-failures were the
error of a rare trust to the spontaneity in which other speakers confide,
or are believed to confide, when they are on their feet. He knew that from
the beginning of oratory the orator’s spontaneity was for the silence and
solitude of the closet where he mused his words to an imagined audience;
that this was the use of orators from Demosthenes and Cicero up and down.
He studied every word and syllable, and memorized them by a system of
mnemonics peculiar to himself, consisting of an arbitrary arrangement of
things on a table—knives, forks, salt-cellars; inkstands, pens,
boxes, or whatever was at hand—which stood for points and clauses
and climaxes, and were at once indelible diction and constant suggestion.
He studied every tone and every gesture, and he forecast the result with
the real audience from its result with that imagined audience. Therefore,
it was beautiful to see him and to hear him; he rejoiced in the pleasure
he gave and the blows of surprise which he dealt; and because he had his
end in mind, he knew when to stop.</p>
<p>I have been talking of his method and manner; the matter the reader has
here before him; and it is good matter, glad, honest, kind, just.</p>
<p>W. D. HOWELLS.<br/></p>
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