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<h2> GIRLS </h2>
<p>In my capacity of publisher I recently received a manuscript from a
teacher which embodied a number of answers given by her pupils to
questions propounded. These answers show that the children had nothing but
the sound to go by—the sense was perfectly empty. Here are some of
their answers to words they were asked to define: Auriferous—pertaining
to an orifice; ammonia—the food of the gods; equestrian—one
who asks questions; parasite—a kind of umbrella; ipecaca—man
who likes a good dinner. And here is the definition of an ancient word
honored by a great party: Republican—a sinner mentioned in the
Bible. And here is an innocent deliverance of a zoological kind: “There
are a good many donkeys in the theological gardens.” Here also is a
definition which really isn’t very bad in its way: Demagogue—a
vessel containing beer and other liquids. Here, too, is a sample of a
boy’s composition on girls, which, I must say, I rather like:</p>
<p>“Girls are very stuckup and dignified in their manner and behaveyour. They
think more of dress than anything and like to play with dowls and rags.
They cry if they see a cow in a far distance and are afraid of guns. They
stay at home all the time and go to church every Sunday. They are al-ways
sick. They are al-ways furry and making fun of boys hands and they say how
dirty. They cant play marbles. I pity them poor things. They make fun of
boys and then turn round and love them. I don’t belave they ever kiled a
cat or anything. They look out every nite and say, ‘Oh, a’nt the moon
lovely!’—Thir is one thing I have not told and that is they al-ways
now their lessons bettern boys.”</p>
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