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<h2> CHAPTER XXIII I HAVE SPOKEN </h2>
<p>It was a week after Nyleptha's visit, when I had begun to get about a
little in the middle of the day, that a message came to me from Sir Henry
to say that Sorais would be brought before them in the Queen's first
antechamber at midday, and requesting my attendance if possible.
Accordingly, greatly drawn by curiosity to see this unhappy woman once
more, I made shift, with the help of that kind little fellow Alphonse, who
is a perfect treasure to me, and that of another waiting-man, to reach the
antechamber. I got there, indeed, before anybody else, except a few of the
great Court officials who had been bidden to be present, but I had
scarcely seated myself before Sorais was brought in by a party of guards,
looking as beautiful and defiant as ever, but with a worn expression on
her proud face. She was, as usual, dressed in her royal 'kaf', emblazoned
with the emblem of the Sun, and in her right hand she still held the toy
spear of silver. A pang of admiration and pity went through me as I looked
at her, and struggling to my feet I bowed deeply, at the same time
expressing my sorrow that I was not able, owing to my condition, to remain
standing before her.</p>
<p>She coloured a little and then laughed bitterly. 'Thou dost forget,
Macumazahn,' she said, 'I am no more a Queen, save in blood; I am an
outcast and a prisoner, one whom all men should scorn, and none show
deference to.'</p>
<p>'At least,' I replied, 'thou art still a lady, and therefore one to whom
deference is due. Also, thou art in an evil case, and therefore it is
doubly due.'</p>
<p>'Ah!' she answered, with a little laugh, 'thou dost forget that I would
have wrapped thee in a sheet of gold and hung thee to the angel's trumpet
at the topmost pinnacle of the Temple.'</p>
<p>'No,' I answered, 'I assure thee that I forgot it not; indeed, I often
thought of it when it seemed to me that the battle of the Pass was turning
against us; but the trumpet is there, and I am still here, though
perchance not for long, so why talk of it now?'</p>
<p>'Ah!' she went on, 'the battle! the battle! Oh, would that I were once
more a Queen, if only for one little hour, and I would take such a
vengeance on those accursed jackals who deserted me in my need; that it
should only be spoken of in whispers; those woman, those pigeon-hearted
half-breeds who suffered themselves to be overcome!' and she choked in her
wrath.</p>
<p>'Ay, and that little coward beside thee,' she went on, pointing at
Alphonse with the silver spear, whereat he looked very uncomfortable; 'he
escaped and betrayed my plans. I tried to make a general of him, telling
the soldiers it was Bougwan, and to scourge valour into him' (here
Alphonse shivered at some unhappy recollection), 'but it was of no avail.
He hid beneath a banner in my tent and thus overheard my plans. I would
that I had slain him, but, alas! I held my hand.</p>
<p>'And thou, Macumazahn, I have heard of what thou didst; thou art brave,
and hast a loyal heart. And the black one too, ah, he was a <i>man</i>. I
would fain have seen him hurl Nasta from the stairway.'</p>
<p>'Thou art a strange woman, Sorais,' I said; 'I pray thee now plead with
the Queen Nyleptha, that perchance she may show mercy unto thee.'</p>
<p>She laughed out loud. 'I plead for mercy!' she said and at that moment the
Queen entered, accompanied by Sir Henry and Good, and took her seat with
an impassive face. As for poor Good, he looked intensely ill at ease.</p>
<p>'Greeting, Sorais!' said Nyleptha, after a short pause. 'Thou hast rent
the kingdom like a rag, thou hast put thousands of my people to the sword,
thou hast twice basely plotted to destroy my life by murder, thou hast
sworn to slay my lord and his companions and to hurl me from the Stairway.
What hast thou to say why thou shouldst not die? Speak, O Sorais!'</p>
<p>'Methinks my sister the Queen hath forgotten the chief count of the
indictment,' answered Sorais in her slow musical tones. 'It runs thus:
"Thou didst strive to win the love of my lord Incubu." It is for this
crime that my sister will slay me, not because I levied war. It is
perchance happy for thee, Nyleptha, that I fixed my mind upon his love too
late.</p>
<p>'Listen,' she went on, raising her voice. 'I have nought to say save that
I would I had won instead of lost. Do thou with me even as thou wilt, O
Queen, and let my lord the King there' (pointing to Sir Henry)—'for
now will he be King—carry out the sentence, as it is meet he should,
for as he is the beginning of the evil, let him also be the end.' And she
drew herself up and shot one angry glance at him from her deep fringed
eyes, and then began to toy with her spear.</p>
<p>Sir Henry bent towards Nyleptha and whispered something that I could not
catch, and then the Queen spoke.</p>
<p>'Sorais, ever have I been a good sister to thee. When our father died, and
there was much talk in the land as to whether thou shouldst sit upon the
throne with me, I being the elder, I gave my voice for thee and said,
"Nay, let her sit. She is twin with me; we were born at a birth; wherefore
should the one be preferred before the other?" And so has it ever been
'twixt thee and me, my sister. But now thou knowest in what sort thou hast
repaid me, but I have prevailed, and thy life is forfeit, Sorais. And yet
art thou my sister, born at a birth with me, and we played together when
we were little and loved each other much, and at night we slept in the
same cot with our arms each around the other's neck, and therefore even
now does my heart go out to thee, Sorais.</p>
<p>'But not for that would I spare thy life, for thy offence has been too
heavy; it doth drag down the wide wings of my mercy even to the ground.
Also, while thou dost live the land will never be at peace.</p>
<p>'Yet shalt thou not die, Sorais, because my dear lord here hath begged thy
life of me as a boon; therefore as a boon and as a marriage gift give I it
to him, to do with even as he wills, knowing that, though thou dost love
him, he loves thee not, Sorais, for all thy beauty. Nay, though thou art
lovely as the night in all her stars, O Lady of the Night, yet it is me
his wife whom he loves, and not thee, and therefore do I give thy life to
him.'</p>
<p>Sorais flushed up to her eyes and said nothing, and I do not think that I
ever saw a man look more miserable than did Sir Henry at that moment.
Somehow, Nyleptha's way of putting the thing, though true and forcible
enough, was not altogether pleasant.</p>
<p>'I understand,' stammered Curtis, looking at Good, 'I understood that he
were attached—eh—attached to—to the Queen Sorais. I am—eh—not
aware what the—in short, the state of your feelings may be just now;
but if they happened to be that way inclined, it has struck me that—in
short, it might put a satisfactory end to an unpleasant business. The lady
also has ample private estates, where I am sure she would be at liberty to
live unmolested as far as we are concerned, eh, Nyleptha? Of course, I
only suggest.'</p>
<p>'So far as I am concerned,' said Good, colouring up, 'I am quite willing
to forget the past; and if the Lady of the Night thinks me worth the
taking I will marry her tomorrow, or when she likes, and try to make her a
good husband.'</p>
<p>All eyes were now turned to Sorais, who stood with that same slow smile
upon her beautiful face which I had noticed the first time that I ever saw
her. She paused a little while, and cleared her throat, and then thrice
she curtseyed low, once to Nyleptha, once to Curtis, and once to Good, and
began to speak in measured tones.</p>
<p>'I thank thee, most gracious Queen and royal sister, for the
loving-kindness thou hast shown me from my youth up, and especially in
that thou hast been pleased to give my person and my fate as a gift to the
Lord Incubu—the King that is to be. May prosperity, peace and plenty
deck the life-path of one so merciful and so tender, even as flowers do.
Long mayst thou reign, O great and glorious Queen, and hold thy husband's
love in both thy hands, and many be the sons and daughters of thy beauty.
And I thank thee, my Lord Incubu—the King that is to be—I
thank thee a thousand times in that thou hast been pleased to accept that
gracious gift, and to pass it on to thy comrade in arms and in adventure,
the Lord Bougwan. Surely the act is worthy of thy greatness, my Lord
Incubu. And now, lastly, I thank thee also, my Lord Bougwan, who in thy
turn hast deigned to accept me and my poor beauty. I thank thee a thousand
times, and I will add that thou art a good and honest man, and I put my
hand upon my heart and swear that I would that I could say thee "yea". And
now that I have rendered thanks to all in turn'—and again she smiled—'I
will add one short word.</p>
<p>'Little can you understand of me, Queen Nyleptha and my lords, if ye know
not that for me there is no middle path; that I scorn your pity and hate
you for it; that I cast off your forgiveness as though it were a serpent's
sting; and that standing here, betrayed, deserted, insulted, and alone, I
yet triumph over you, mock you, and defy you, one and all, and <i>thus</i>
I answer you.' And then, of a sudden, before anybody guessed what she
intended to do, she drove the little silver spear she carried in her hand
into her side with such a strong and steady aim that the keen point
projected through her back, and she fell prone upon the pavement.</p>
<p>Nyleptha shrieked, and poor Good almost fainted at the sight, while the
rest of us rushed towards her. But Sorais of the Night lifted herself upon
her hand, and for a moment fixed her glorious eyes intently on Curtis'
face, as though there were some message in the glance, then dropped her
head and sighed, and with a sob her dark but splendid spirit passed.</p>
<p>Well, they gave her a royal funeral, and there was an end of her.</p>
<p>It was a month after the last act of the Sorais tragedy that a great
ceremony was held in the Flower Temple, and Curtis was formally declared
King-Consort of Zu-Vendis. I was too ill to go myself; and indeed, I hate
all that sort of thing, with the crowds and the trumpet-blowing and
banner-waving; but Good, who was there (in his full-dress uniform), came
back much impressed, and told me that Nyleptha had looked lovely, and
Curtis had borne himself in a right royal fashion, and had been received
with acclamations that left no doubt as to his popularity. Also he told me
that when the horse Daylight was led along in the procession, the populace
had shouted '<i>Macumazahn, Macumazahn!</i>' till they were hoarse, and
would only be appeased when he, Good, rose in his chariot and told them
that I was too ill to be present.</p>
<p>Afterwards, too, Sir Henry, or rather the King, came to see me, looking
very tired, and vowing that he had never been so bored in his life; but I
dare say that that was a slight exaggeration. It is not in human nature
that a man should be altogether bored on such an extraordinary occasion;
and, indeed, as I pointed out to him, it was a marvellous thing that a
man, who but little more than one short year before had entered a great
country as an unknown wanderer, should today be married to its beautiful
and beloved Queen, and lifted, amidst public rejoicings, to its throne. I
even went the length to exhort him in the future not to be carried away by
the pride and pomp of absolute power, but always to strive to remember
that he was first a Christian gentleman, and next a public servant, called
by Providence to a great and almost unprecedented trust. These remarks,
which he might fairly have resented, he was so good as to receive with
patience, and even to thank me for making them.</p>
<p>It was immediately after this ceremony that I caused myself to be moved to
the house where I am now writing. It is a very pleasant country seat,
situated about two miles from the Frowning City, on to which it looks.
That was five months ago, during the whole of which time I have, being
confined to a kind of couch, employed my leisure in compiling this history
of our wanderings from my journal and from our joint memories. It is
probable that it will never be read, but it does not much matter whether
it is or not; at any rate, it has served to while away many hours of
suffering, for I have suffered a deal of pain lately. Thank God, however,
there will not be much more of it.</p>
<p>It is a week since I wrote the above, and now I take up my pen for the
last time, for I know that the end is at hand. My brain is still clear and
I can manage to write, though with difficulty. The pain in my lung, which
has been very bad during the last week, has suddenly quite left me, and
been succeeded by a feeling of numbness of which I cannot mistake the
meaning. And just as the pain has gone, so with it all fear of that end
has departed, and I feel only as though I were going to sink into the arms
of an unutterable rest. Happily, contentedly, and with the same sense of
security with which an infant lays itself to sleep in its mother's arms,
do I lay myself down in the arms of the Angel Death. All the tremors, all
the heart-shaking fears which have haunted me through a life that seems
long as I looked back upon it, have left me now; the storms have passed,
and the Star of our Eternal Hope shines clear and steady on the horizon
that seems so far from man, and yet is so very near to me tonight.</p>
<p>And so this is the end of it—a brief space of troubling, a few
restless, fevered, anguished years, and then the arms of that great Angel
Death. Many times have I been near to them, and now it is my turn at last,
and it is well. Twenty-four hours more and the world will be gone from me,
and with it all its hopes and all its fears. The air will close in over
the space that my form filled and my place know me no more; for the dull
breath of the world's forgetfulness will first dim the brightness of my
memory, and then blot it out for ever, and of a truth I shall be dead. So
is it with us all. How many millions have lain as I lie, and thought these
thoughts and been forgotten!—thousands upon thousands of years ago
they thought them, those dying men of the dim past; and thousands on
thousands of years hence will their descendants think them and be in their
turn forgotten. 'As the breath of the oxen in winter, as the quick star
that runs along the sky, as a little shadow that loses itself at sunset,'
as I once heard a Zulu called Ignosi put it, such is the order of our
life, the order that passeth away.</p>
<p>Well, it is not a good world—nobody can say that it is, save those
who wilfully blind themselves to facts. How can a world be good in which
Money is the moving power, and Self-interest the guiding star? The wonder
is not that it is so bad, but that there should be any good left in it.</p>
<p>Still, now that my life is over, I am glad to have lived, glad to have
known the dear breath of woman's love, and that true friendship which can
even surpass the love of woman, glad to have heard the laughter of little
children, to have seen the sun and the moon and the stars, to have felt
the kiss of the salt sea on my face, and watched the wild game trek down
to the water in the moonlight. But I should not wish to live again!</p>
<p>Everything is changing to me. The darkness draws near, and the light
departs. And yet it seems to me that through that darkness I can already
see the shining welcome of many a long-lost face. Harry is there, and
others; one above all, to my mind the sweetest and most perfect woman that
ever gladdened this grey earth. But of her I have already written
elsewhere, and at length, so why speak of her now? Why speak of her after
this long silence, now that she is again so near to me, now that I go
where she has gone?</p>
<p>The sinking sun is turning the golden roof of the great Temple to a fiery
flame, and my fingers tire.</p>
<p>So to all who have known me, or known of me, to all who can think one
kindly thought of the old hunter, I stretch out my hand from the far-off
shore and bid a long farewell.</p>
<p>And now into the hands of Almighty God, who sent it, do I commit my
spirit.</p>
<p>'<i>I have spoken,</i>' as the Zulus say.</p>
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