<SPAN name="CH6"><!-- CH6 --></SPAN>
<h2> CHAPTER VI </h2>
<h3> SIDELIGHTS </h3>
<p>The association of coal with potatoes is one upon
which I have frequently speculated, without arriving
at any more satisfactory explanation than that both
products are of the earth, earthy. Of the connection
itself Barnard's practice furnished several instances
besides Mrs. Jablett's establishment in Fleur-de-Lys
Court, one of which was a dark and mysterious cavern
a foot below the level of the street, that burrowed
under an ancient house on the west side of Fetter Lane
—a crinkly, timber house of the three-decker type that
leaned back drunkenly from the road as if about to sit
down in its own back yard.</p>
<p>Passing this repository of the associated products
about ten o'clock in the morning, I perceived in the
shadow of the cavern no less a person than Miss Oman.
She saw me at the same moment, and beckoned peremptorily
with a hand that held a large Spanish onion. I
approached with a deferential smile.</p>
<p>"What a magnificent onion, Miss Oman! and how
generous of you to offer it to me—"</p>
<p>"I wasn't offering it to you. But there! Isn't it
just like a man—"</p>
<p>"Isn't what just like a man?" I interrupted. "If
you mean the onion—"</p>
<p>"I don't!" she snapped; "and I wish you wouldn't
talk such a parcel of nonsense. A grown man and a
member of a serious profession, too! You ought to
know better."</p>
<p>"I suppose I ought," I said reflectively. And she
continued:</p>
<p>"I called in at the surgery just now."</p>
<p>"To see me?"</p>
<p>"What else should I come for? Do you suppose
that I called to consult the bottle-boy?"</p>
<p>"Certainly not, Miss Oman. So you find the lady
doctor no use, after all?"</p>
<p>Miss Oman gnashed her teeth at me (and very fine
teeth they were, too).</p>
<p>"I called," she said majestically, "on behalf of Miss
Bellingham."</p>
<p>My facetiousness evaporated instantly. "I hope
Miss Bellingham is not ill," I said with a sudden anxiety
that elicited a sardonic smile from Miss Oman.</p>
<p>"No," was the reply, "she is not ill, but she has cut
her hand rather badly. It's her right hand, too, and
she can't afford to lose the use of it, not being a great,
hulking, lazy, lolloping man. So you had better go
and put some stuff on it."</p>
<p>With this advice, Miss Oman whisked to the right-about
and vanished into the depths of the cavern like
the Witch of Wokey, while I hurried on to the surgery
to provide myself with the necessary instruments and
materials, and thence proceeded to Nevill's Court.</p>
<p>Miss Oman's juvenile maid-servant, who opened the
door to me, stated the existing conditions with epigrammatic
conciseness:</p>
<p>"Mr. Bellingham is hout, sir; but Miss Bellingham
is hin."</p>
<p>Having thus delivered herself she retreated towards
the kitchen and I ascended the stairs, at the head of
which I found Miss Bellingham awaiting me with her
right hand encased in what looked like a white boxing-glove.</p>
<p>"I am glad you have come," she said. "Phyllis—Miss
Oman, you know—has kindly bound up my hand,
but I should like you to see that it is all right."</p>
<p>We went into the sitting-room, where I laid out my
paraphernalia on the table while I inquired into the
particulars of the accident.</p>
<p>"It is most unfortunate that it should have
happened just now," she said, as I wrestled with one of
those remarkable feminine knots that, while they seem
to defy the utmost efforts of human ingenuity to untie,
yet have a singular habit of untying themselves at
inopportune moments.</p>
<p>"Why just now, in particular?" I asked.</p>
<p>"Because I have some specially important work to
do. A very learned lady who is writing a historical
book has commissioned me to collect all the literature
relating to the Tell el Amarna letters—the cuneiform
tablets, you know, of Amenhotep the Fourth."</p>
<p>"Well," I said soothingly, "I expect your hand will
soon be well."</p>
<p>"Yes, but that won't do. The work has to be done
immediately. I have to send in the completed notes
not later than this day week, and it will be quite
impossible. I am dreadfully disappointed."</p>
<p>By this time I had unwound the voluminous
wrappings and exposed the injury—a deep gash in the
palm that must have narrowly missed a good-sized
artery. Obviously the hand would be useless for fully
a week.</p>
<p>"I suppose," she said, "you couldn't patch it up
so that I could write with it?"</p>
<p>I shook my head.</p>
<p>"No, Miss Bellingham. I shall have to put it on a
splint. We can't run any risks with a deep wound like
this."</p>
<p>"Then I shall have to give up the commission, and
I don't know how my client will get the work done in
the time. You see, I am pretty well up in the literature
of Ancient Egypt; in fact, I was to receive special
payment on that account. And it would have been
such an interesting task, too. However, it can't be
helped."</p>
<p>I proceeded methodically with the application of the
dressings, and meanwhile reflected. It was evident that
she was deeply disappointed. Loss of work meant loss
of money, and it needed but a glance at her rusty
black dress to see that there was little margin for that.
Possibly, too, there was some special need to be met.
Her manner seemed almost to imply that there was.
And at this point I had a brilliant idea.</p>
<p>"I'm not sure that it can't be helped," said I.</p>
<p>She looked at me inquiringly, and I continued: "I
am going to make a proposition, and I shall ask you
to consider it with an open mind."</p>
<p>"That sounds rather portentous," said she; "but
I promise. What is it?"</p>
<p>"It is this: When I was a student I acquired the
useful art of writing shorthand. I am not a lightning
reporter, you understand, but I can take matter down
from dictation at quite respectable speed."</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"Well, I have several hours free every day—usually,
the whole of the afternoon up to six or half-past—and
it occurs to me that if you were to go to the Museum
in the mornings you could get out your books, look up
passages (you could do that without using your right
hand), and put in book-marks. Then I could come
along in the afternoon and you could read out the
selected passages to me, and I could take them down in
shorthand. We should get through as much in a couple
of hours as you could in a day using longhand."</p>
<p>"Oh, but how kind of you, Doctor Berkeley!" she
exclaimed. "How very kind! Of course, I couldn't
think of taking up all your leisure in that way; but I
do appreciate your kindness very much."</p>
<p>I was rather chapfallen at this very definite refusal,
but persisted feebly:</p>
<p>"I wish you would. It may seem rather cheek for a
comparative stranger like me to make such a proposal
to a lady; but if you'd been a man—in these special
circumstances—I should have made it all the same, and
you would have accepted as a matter of course."</p>
<p>"I doubt that. At any rate, I am not a man. I
sometimes wish I were."</p>
<p>"Oh, I am sure you are much better as you are!"
I exclaimed, with such earnestness that we both laughed.
And at this moment Mr. Bellingham entered the room
carrying several large and evidently brand-new books
in a strap.</p>
<p>"Well, I'm sure!" he exclaimed genially; "here
are pretty goings on. Doctor and patient giggling like
a pair of schoolgirls! What's the joke?"</p>
<p>He thumped his parcel of books down on the table
and listened smilingly while my unconscious witticism
was expounded.</p>
<p>"The Doctor's quite right," he said. "You'll do as
you are, chick; but the Lord knows what sort of man
you would make. You take his advice and let well
alone."</p>
<p>Finding him in this genial frame of mind, I ventured
to explain my proposition to him and to enlist his
support. He considered it with attentive approval,
and when I had finished turned to his daughter.</p>
<p>"What is your objection, chick?" he asked.</p>
<p>"It would give Doctor Berkeley such a fearful lot
of work," she answered.</p>
<p>"It would give him a fearful lot of pleasure," I said.
"It would, really."</p>
<p>"Then why not?" said Mr. Bellingham. "We don't
mind being under an obligation to the Doctor, do we?"</p>
<p>"Oh, it wasn't that!" she exclaimed hastily.</p>
<p>"Then take him at his word. He means it. It is a
kind action and he'll like doing it, I'm sure. That's
all right, Doctor; she accepts, don't you, chick?"</p>
<p>"Yes, if you say so, I do; and most thankfully."</p>
<p>She accompanied the acceptance with a gracious
smile that was in itself a large payment on account,
and when we had made the necessary arrangements,
I hurried away in a state of the most perfect satisfaction
to finish my morning's work and order an early
lunch.</p>
<p>When I called for her a couple of hours later I found
her waiting in the garden with the shabby handbag,
of which I relieved her, and we set forth together,
watched jealously by Miss Oman, who had accompanied
her to the gate.</p>
<p>As I walked up the court with this wonderful maid
by my side I could hardly believe in my good fortune.
By her presence and my own resulting happiness the
mean surroundings became glorified and the commonest
objects transfigured into things of beauty. What a
delightful thoroughfare, for instance, was Fetter Lane,
with its quaint charm and mediaeval grace! I snuffed
the cabbage-laden atmosphere and seemed to breathe
the scent of the asphodel. Holborn was even as the
Elysian Fields; the omnibus that bore us westward
was a chariot of glory; and the people who swarmed
verminously on the pavements bore the semblance of
the children of light.</p>
<p>Love is a foolish thing judged by workaday standards,
and the thoughts and actions of lovers foolish
beyond measure. But the workaday standard is the
wrong one, after all; for the utilitarian mind does but
busy itself with the trivial and transitory interests of
life, behind which looms the great and everlasting reality
of the love of man and woman. There is more significance
in a nightingale's song in the hush of a summer
night than in all the wisdom of Solomon (who, by the
way, was not without his little experiences of the tender
passion).</p>
<p>The janitor in the little glass box by the entrance
to the library inspected us and passed us on, with a
silent benediction, to the lobby, whence (when I had
handed my stick to a bald-headed demigod and
received a talismanic disc in exchange) we entered the
enormous rotunda of the reading-room.</p>
<p>I have often thought that, if some lethal vapour of
highly preservative properties—such as formaldehyde,
for instance—could be shed into the atmosphere of
this apartment, the entire and complete collection of
books and bookworms would be well worth preserving,
for the enlightenment of posterity, as a sort of anthropological
appendix to the main collection of the
Museum. For, surely, nowhere else in the world are so
many strange and abnormal human beings gathered
together in one place. And a curious question that
must have occurred to many observers is: Whence do
these singular creatures come, and whither do they go
when the very distinct-faced clock (adjusted to literary
eye-sight) proclaims closing time? The tragic-faced
gentleman, for instance, with the corkscrew ringlets
that bob up and down like spiral springs as he walks?
Or the short, elderly gentleman in the black cassock and
bowler hat, who shatters your nerves by turning suddenly
and revealing himself as a middle-aged woman?
Whither do they go? One never sees them elsewhere.
Do they steal away at closing time into the depths of
the Museum and hide themselves until morning in
sarcophagi or mummy cases? Or do they creep through
spaces in the book-shelves and spend the night behind
the volumes in a congenial atmosphere of leather and
antique paper? Who can say? What I do know is
that when Ruth Bellingham entered the reading-room
she appeared in comparison with these like a creature
of another order; even as the head of Antinous, which
formerly stood (it has since been moved) amidst the
portrait-busts of the Roman Emperors, seemed like the
head of a god set in a portrait gallery of illustrious
baboons.</p>
<p>"What have we got to do?" I asked when we had
found a vacant seat. "Do you want to look up the
catalogue?"</p>
<p>"No, I have the tickets in my bag. The books are
waiting in the 'kept books' department."</p>
<p>I placed my hat on the leather-covered shelf, dropped
her gloves into it—how delightfully intimate and
companionable it seemed!—altered the numbers on the
tickets, and then we proceeded together to the "kept
books" desk to collect the volumes that contained the
material for our day's work.</p>
<p>It was a blissful afternoon. Two and a half hours of
happiness unalloyed did I spend at that shiny, leather-clad
desk, guiding my nimble pen across the pages of
the note-book. It introduced me to a new world—a
world in which love and learning, sweet intimacy and
crusted archaeology, were mingled into the oddest, most
whimsical, and most delicious confection that the mind
of man can conceive. Hitherto, these recondite
histories had been far beyond my ken. Of the wonderful
heretic, Amenhotep the Fourth, I had barely heard—at
the most he had been a mere name; the Hittites a
mythical race of undetermined habitat; while cuneiform
tablets had presented themselves to my mind merely as
an uncouth kind of fossil biscuit suited to the digestion
of a pre-historic ostrich.</p>
<p>Now all this was changed. As we sat with our chairs
creaking together and she whispered the story of those
stirring times into my receptive ear—talking is strictly
forbidden in the reading-room—the disjointed
fragments arranged themselves into a romance of supreme
fascination. Egyptian, Babylonian, Aramaean, Hittite,
Memphis, Babylon, Hamath, Megiddo—I swallowed
them all thankfully, wrote them down and asked for
more. Only once did I disgrace myself. An elderly
clergyman of ascetic and acidulous aspect had passed
us with a glance of evident disapproval, clearly setting
us down as intruding philanderers; and when I
contrasted the parson's probable conception of the whispered
communications that were being poured into my
ear so tenderly and confidentially with the dry reality,
I chuckled aloud. But my fair task-mistress only
paused, with her finger on the page, smilingly to rebuke
me, and then went on with the dictation. She was
certainly a Tartar for work.</p>
<p>It was a proud moment for me when, in response to
my interrogative "Yes?" my companion said "That
is all" and closed the book. We had extracted the
pith and marrow of six considerable volumes in two
hours and a half.</p>
<p>"You have been better than your word," she said.
"It would have taken me two full days of really hard
work to make the notes that you have written down
since we commenced. I don't know how to thank
you."</p>
<p>"There's no need to. I've enjoyed myself and polished
up my shorthand. What is the next thing? We
shall want some books for to-morrow, shan't we?"</p>
<p>"Yes. I have made out a list, so if you will come
with me to the catalogue desk I will look out the numbers
and ask you to write the tickets."</p>
<p>The selection of a fresh batch of authorities occupied
us for another quarter of an hour, and then, having
handed in the volumes that we had squeezed dry, we
took our way out of the reading-room.</p>
<p>"Which way shall we go?" she asked as we passed
out of the gate, where stood a massive policeman, like
the guardian angel at the gate of Paradise (only, thank
Heaven! he bore no flaming sword forbidding reentry).</p>
<p>"We are going," I replied, "to Museum Street, where
is a milkshop in which one can get an excellent cup
of tea."</p>
<p>She looked as if she would have demurred, but eventually
followed obediently, and we were soon seated side
by side at a little marble-topped table, retracing the
ground that we had covered in the afternoon's work
and discussing various points of interest over a joint
teapot.</p>
<p>"Have you been doing this sort of work long?" I
asked as she handed me my second cup of tea.</p>
<p>"Professionally," she answered, "only about two
years; since we broke up our home, in fact. But long
before that I used to come to the Museum with my
Uncle John—the one who disappeared, you know, in
that dreadfully mysterious way—and help him to look
up references. We were quite good friends, he and I."</p>
<p>"I suppose he was a very learned man?" I suggested.</p>
<p>"Yes, in a certain way; in the way of the better-class
collector he was very learned indeed. He knew
the contents of every museum in the world, in so far
as they were connected with Egyptian antiquities, and
had studied them specimen by specimen. Consequently,
as Egyptology is largely a museum science, he
was a learned Egyptologist. But his real interest was
in things rather than events. Of course, he knew a
great deal—a very great deal—about Egyptian history,
but still he was, before all, a collector."</p>
<p>"And what will happen to his collection if he is
really dead?"</p>
<p>"The greater part of it goes to the British Museum
by his will, and the remainder he has left to his solicitor,
Mr. Jellicoe."</p>
<p>"To Mr. Jellicoe! Why, what will Mr. Jellicoe do
with Egyptian antiquities?"</p>
<p>"Oh, he is an Egyptologist, too, and quite an enthusiast.
He has a really fine collection of scarabs and
other small objects such as it is possible to keep in
a private house. I have always thought that it was
his enthusiasm for everything Egyptian that brought
him and my uncle together on terms of such intimacy;
though I believe he is an excellent lawyer, and he is
certainly a very discreet, cautious man."</p>
<p>"Is he? I shouldn't have thought so, judging by
your uncle's will."</p>
<p>"Oh, but that was not Mr. Jellicoe's fault. He assures
us that he entreated my uncle to let him draw up
a fresh document with more reasonable provisions. But
he says Uncle John was immovable; and he really <i>was</i>
a rather obstinate man. Mr. Jellicoe repudiates any
responsibility in the matter. He washes his hands of
the whole affair, and says that it is the will of a lunatic.
And so it is. I was glancing through it only a night or
two ago, and really I cannot conceive how a sane man
could have written such nonsense."</p>
<p>"You have a copy, then?" I asked eagerly, remembering
Thorndyke's parting instructions.</p>
<p>"Yes. Would you like to see it? I know my father
has told you about it, and it is worth reading as a
curiosity of perverseness."</p>
<p>"I should very much like to show it to my friend,
Doctor Thorndyke," I replied. "He said that he would
be interested to read it and learn the exact provisions;
and it might be well to let him, and hear what he has
to say about it."</p>
<p>"I see no objection," she rejoined; "but you know
what my father is: his horror, I mean, of what he calls
'cadging for advice gratis.'"</p>
<p>"Oh, but he need have no scruples on that score.
Doctor Thorndyke wants to see the will because the case
interests him. He is an enthusiast, you know, and he
put the request as a personal favour to himself."</p>
<p>"That is very nice and delicate of him, and I will
explain the position to my father. If he is willing for
Doctor Thorndyke to see the copy, I will send or bring
it over this evening. Have we finished?"</p>
<p>I regretfully admitted that we had, and, when I had
paid the modest reckoning, we sallied forth, turning
back with one accord into Great Russell Street to avoid
the noise and bustle of the larger thoroughfare.</p>
<p>"What sort of man was your uncle?" I asked presently,
as we walked along the quiet, dignified street.
And then I added hastily: "I hope you don't think me
inquisitive, but, to my mind, he presents himself as a
kind of mysterious abstraction; the unknown quantity
of a legal problem."</p>
<p>"My Uncle John," she answered reflectively, "was
a very peculiar man, rather obstinate, very self-willed,
what people call 'masterful,' and decidedly wrong-headed
and unreasonable."</p>
<p>"That is certainly the impression that the terms
of his will convey," I said.</p>
<p>"Yes; and not the will only. There was the absurd
allowance that he made my father. That was a ridiculous
arrangement, and very unfair, too. He ought to
have divided up the property as my grandfather intended.
And yet he was by no means ungenerous,
only he would have his own way, and his own way was
very commonly the wrong way.</p>
<p>"I remember," she continued, after a short pause,
"a very odd instance of his wrong-headedness and
obstinacy. It was a small matter, but very typical of
him. He had in his collection a beautiful little ring
of the eighteenth dynasty. It was said to have belonged
to Queen Ti, the mother of our friend Amenhotep
the Fourth; but I don't think that could have
been so, because the device on it was the Eye of Osiris,
and Ti, as you know, was an Aten-worshipper. However,
it was a very charming ring, and Uncle John,
who had a queer sort of devotion to the mystical Eye
of Osiris, commissioned a very clever goldsmith to make
two exact copies of it, one for himself and one for me.
The goldsmith naturally wanted to take the measurements
of our fingers, but this Uncle John would not
hear of; the rings were to be exact copies, and an
exact copy must be the same size as the original. You
can imagine the result; my ring was so loose that
I couldn't keep it on my finger, and Uncle John's
was so tight that, though he did manage to get it on,
he was never able to get it off again. And it was only
the circumstance that his left hand was decidedly
smaller than his right that made it possible for him to
wear it at all."</p>
<p>"So you never wore your copy?"</p>
<p>"No. I wanted to have it altered to make it fit,
but he objected strongly; so I put it away, and have
it in a box still."</p>
<p>"He must have been an extraordinarily pig-headed
old fellow," I remarked.</p>
<p>"Yes; he was very tenacious. He annoyed my father
a good deal, too, by making unnecessary alterations in
the house in Queen Square when he fitted up his museum.
We have a certain sentiment with regard to that house.
Our people have lived in it ever since it was built, when
the square was first laid out in the reign of Queen Anne,
after whom the square was named. It is a dear old
house. Would you like to see it? We are quite near it
now."</p>
<p>I assented eagerly. If it had been a coal-shed or
a fried-fish shop I would still have visited it with
pleasure, for the sake of prolonging our walk; but I
was also really interested in this old house as a part of
the background of the mystery of the vanished John
Bellingham.</p>
<p>We crossed into Cosmo Place, with its quaint row
of the, now rare, cannon-shaped iron posts, and passing
through stood for a few moments looking into the
peaceful, stately old square. A party of boys disported
themselves noisily on the range of stone posts
that form a bodyguard round the ancient lamp-surmounted
pump, but otherwise the place was wrapped
in dignified repose suited to its age and station. And
very pleasant it looked on this summer afternoon, with
the sunlight gilding the foliage of its wide-spreading
plane trees and lighting up the warm-toned brick of
the house-fronts. We walked slowly down the shady
west side, near the middle of which my companion
halted.</p>
<p>"This is the house," she said. "It looks gloomy
and forsaken now; but it must have been a delightful
house in the days when my ancestors could look out of
the windows through the open end of the square across
the fields and meadows to the heights of Hampstead
and Highgate."</p>
<p>She stood at the edge of the pavement looking up
with a curious wistfulness at the old house; a very
pathetic figure, I thought, with her handsome face and
proud carriage, her threadbare dress and shabby gloves,
standing at the threshold of the home that had been
her family's for generations, that should now have been
hers, and that was shortly to pass away into the hands
of strangers.</p>
<p>I, too, looked up at it with a strange interest, impressed
by something gloomy and forbidding in its
aspect. The windows were shuttered from basement
to attic, and no sign of life was visible. Silent, neglected,
desolate, it breathed an air of tragedy. It
seemed to mourn in sackcloth and ashes for its lost
master. The massive door within the splendid carven
portico was crusted with grime, and seemed to have
passed out of use as completely as the ancient lamp-irons
or the rusted extinguishers wherein the footmen
were wont to quench their torches when some Bellingham
dame was borne up the steps in her gilded chair,
in the days of good Queen Anne.</p>
<p>It was in a somewhat sobered frame of mind that
we presently turned away and started homeward by
way of Great Ormond Street. My companion was
deeply thoughtful, relapsing for a while into that sombreness
of manner that had so impressed me when I
first met her. Nor was I without a certain sympathetic
pensiveness; as if, from the great, silent house, the
spirit of the vanished man had issued forth to bear us
company.</p>
<p>But still it was a delightful walk, and I was sorry
when at last we arrived at the entrance to Nevill's
Court, and Miss Bellingham halted and held out her
hand.</p>
<p>"Good-bye," she said; "and many, many thanks
for your invaluable help. Shall I take the bag?"</p>
<p>"If you want it. But I must take out the note-books."</p>
<p>"Why must you take them?" she asked.</p>
<p>"Why, haven't I got to copy the notes out into longhand?"</p>
<p>An expression of utter consternation spread over her
face; in fact, she was so completely taken aback that
she forgot to release my hand.</p>
<p>"Heavens!" she exclaimed. "How idiotic of me!
But it is impossible, Doctor Berkeley! It will take
you hours!"</p>
<p>"It is perfectly possible, and it is going to be done;
otherwise the notes would be useless. Do you want the
bag?"</p>
<p>"No, of course not. But I am positively appalled.
Hadn't you better give up the idea?"</p>
<p>"And is this the end of our collaboration?" I exclaimed
tragically, giving her hand a final squeeze
(whereby she became suddenly aware of its position,
and withdrew it rather hastily). "Would you throw
away a whole afternoon's work? I won't, certainly;
so, good-bye until to-morrow. I shall turn up in the
reading-room as early as I can. You had better take
the tickets. Oh, and you won't forget about the copy
of the will for Doctor Thorndyke, will you?"</p>
<p>"No; if my father agrees, you shall have it this
evening."</p>
<p>She took the tickets from me, and, thanking me yet
again, retired into the court.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
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