<h2><SPAN name="chap01"></SPAN>CHAPTER I</h2>
<p class="poem">
“A spirit . . .<br/>
. . . . . .<br/>
The undulating and silent well,<br/>
And rippling rivulet, and evening gloom,<br/>
Now deepening the dark shades, for speech assuming,<br/>
Held commune with him; as if he and it<br/>
Were all that was.”<br/>
S<small>HELLEY’S</small> <i>Alastor</i>.</p>
<p>I awoke one morning with the usual perplexity of mind which accompanies the
return of consciousness. As I lay and looked through the eastern window of my
room, a faint streak of peach-colour, dividing a cloud that just rose above the
low swell of the horizon, announced the approach of the sun. As my thoughts,
which a deep and apparently dreamless sleep had dissolved, began again to
assume crystalline forms, the strange events of the foregoing night presented
themselves anew to my wondering consciousness. The day before had been my
one-and-twentieth birthday. Among other ceremonies investing me with my legal
rights, the keys of an old secretary, in which my father had kept his private
papers, had been delivered up to me. As soon as I was left alone, I ordered
lights in the chamber where the secretary stood, the first lights that had been
there for many a year; for, since my father’s death, the room had been
left undisturbed. But, as if the darkness had been too long an inmate to be
easily expelled, and had dyed with blackness the walls to which, bat-like, it
had clung, these tapers served but ill to light up the gloomy hangings, and
seemed to throw yet darker shadows into the hollows of the deep-wrought
cornice. All the further portions of the room lay shrouded in a mystery whose
deepest folds were gathered around the dark oak cabinet which I now approached
with a strange mingling of reverence and curiosity. Perhaps, like a geologist,
I was about to turn up to the light some of the buried strata of the human
world, with its fossil remains charred by passion and petrified by tears.
Perhaps I was to learn how my father, whose personal history was unknown to me,
had woven his web of story; how he had found the world, and how the world had
left him. Perhaps I was to find only the records of lands and moneys, how
gotten and how secured; coming down from strange men, and through troublous
times, to me, who knew little or nothing of them all. To solve my speculations,
and to dispel the awe which was fast gathering around me as if the dead were
drawing near, I approached the secretary; and having found the key that fitted
the upper portion, I opened it with some difficulty, drew near it a heavy
high-backed chair, and sat down before a multitude of little drawers and slides
and pigeon-holes. But the door of a little cupboard in the centre especially
attracted my interest, as if there lay the secret of this long-hidden world.
Its key I found.</p>
<p>One of the rusty hinges cracked and broke as I opened the door: it revealed a
number of small pigeon-holes. These, however, being but shallow compared with
the depth of those around the little cupboard, the outer ones reaching to the
back of the desk, I concluded that there must be some accessible space behind;
and found, indeed, that they were formed in a separate framework, which
admitted of the whole being pulled out in one piece. Behind, I found a sort of
flexible portcullis of small bars of wood laid close together horizontally.
After long search, and trying many ways to move it, I discovered at last a
scarcely projecting point of steel on one side. I pressed this repeatedly and
hard with the point of an old tool that was lying near, till at length it
yielded inwards; and the little slide, flying up suddenly, disclosed a
chamber—empty, except that in one corner lay a little heap of withered
rose-leaves, whose long-lived scent had long since departed; and, in another, a
small packet of papers, tied with a bit of ribbon, whose colour had gone with
the rose-scent. Almost fearing to touch them, they witnessed so mutely to the
law of oblivion, I leaned back in my chair, and regarded them for a moment;
when suddenly there stood on the threshold of the little chamber, as though she
had just emerged from its depth, a tiny woman-form, as perfect in shape as if
she had been a small Greek statuette roused to life and motion. Her dress was
of a kind that could never grow old-fashioned, because it was simply natural: a
robe plaited in a band around the neck, and confined by a belt about the waist,
descended to her feet. It was only afterwards, however, that I took notice of
her dress, although my surprise was by no means of so overpowering a degree as
such an apparition might naturally be expected to excite. Seeing, however, as I
suppose, some astonishment in my countenance, she came forward within a yard of
me, and said, in a voice that strangely recalled a sensation of twilight, and
reedy river banks, and a low wind, even in this deathly room:—</p>
<p>“Anodos, you never saw such a little creature before, did you?”</p>
<p>“No,” said I; “and indeed I hardly believe I do now.”</p>
<p>“Ah! that is always the way with you men; you believe nothing the first
time; and it is foolish enough to let mere repetition convince you of what you
consider in itself unbelievable. I am not going to argue with you, however, but
to grant you a wish.”</p>
<p>Here I could not help interrupting her with the foolish speech, of which,
however, I had no cause to repent—</p>
<p>“How can such a very little creature as you grant or refuse
anything?”</p>
<p>“Is that all the philosophy you have gained in one-and-twenty
years?” said she. “Form is much, but size is nothing. It is a mere
matter of relation. I suppose your six-foot lordship does not feel altogether
insignificant, though to others you do look small beside your old Uncle Ralph,
who rises above you a great half-foot at least. But size is of so little
consequence with old me, that I may as well accommodate myself to your foolish
prejudices.”</p>
<p>So saying, she leapt from the desk upon the floor, where she stood a tall,
gracious lady, with pale face and large blue eyes. Her dark hair flowed behind,
wavy but uncurled, down to her waist, and against it her form stood clear in
its robe of white.</p>
<p>“Now,” said she, “you will believe me.”</p>
<p>Overcome with the presence of a beauty which I could now perceive, and drawn
towards her by an attraction irresistible as incomprehensible, I suppose I
stretched out my arms towards her, for she drew back a step or two, and
said—</p>
<p>“Foolish boy, if you could touch me, I should hurt you. Besides, I was
two hundred and thirty-seven years old, last Midsummer eve; and a man must not
fall in love with his grandmother, you know.”</p>
<p>“But you are not my grandmother,” said I.</p>
<p>“How do you know that?” she retorted. “I dare say you know
something of your great-grandfathers a good deal further back than that; but
you know very little about your great-grandmothers on either side. Now, to the
point. Your little sister was reading a fairy-tale to you last night.”</p>
<p>“She was.”</p>
<p>“When she had finished, she said, as she closed the book, ‘Is there
a fairy-country, brother?’ You replied with a sigh, ‘I suppose
there is, if one could find the way into it.’”</p>
<p>“I did; but I meant something quite different from what you seem to
think.”</p>
<p>“Never mind what I seem to think. You shall find the way into Fairy Land
to-morrow. Now look in my eyes.”</p>
<p>Eagerly I did so. They filled me with an unknown longing. I remembered somehow
that my mother died when I was a baby. I looked deeper and deeper, till they
spread around me like seas, and I sank in their waters. I forgot all the rest,
till I found myself at the window, whose gloomy curtains were withdrawn, and
where I stood gazing on a whole heaven of stars, small and sparkling in the
moonlight. Below lay a sea, still as death and hoary in the moon, sweeping into
bays and around capes and islands, away, away, I knew not whither. Alas! it was
no sea, but a low bog burnished by the moon. “Surely there is such a sea
somewhere!” said I to myself. A low sweet voice beside me replied—</p>
<p>“In Fairy Land, Anodos.”</p>
<p>I turned, but saw no one. I closed the secretary, and went to my own room, and
to bed.</p>
<p>All this I recalled as I lay with half-closed eyes. I was soon to find the
truth of the lady’s promise, that this day I should discover the road
into Fairy Land.</p>
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