<h2><SPAN name="X" id="X">X</SPAN><br/> BY WATER</h2>
<p class="noi"><span class="smcap">The</span> night before young Larsen left to take up his new appointment in
Egypt he went to the clairvoyante. He neither believed nor disbelieved.
He felt no interest, for he already knew his past and did not wish
to know his future. “Just to please me, Jim,” the girl pleaded. “The
woman is wonderful. Before I had been five minutes with her she told
me your initials, so there <em class="italic">must</em> be something in it.” “She read your
thought,” he smiled indulgently. “Even I can do that!” But the girl was
in earnest. He yielded; and that night at his farewell dinner he came
to give his report of the interview.</p>
<p>The result was meagre and unconvincing: money was coming to him, he was
soon to make a voyage, and—he would never marry. “So you see how silly
it all is,” he laughed, for they were to be married when his first
promotion came. He gave the details, however, making a little story of
it in the way he knew she loved.</p>
<p>“But was that all, Jim?” The girl asked it, looking rather hard into
his face. “Aren’t you hiding something from me?” He hesitated a moment,
then burst out laughing at her clever discernment. “There <em class="italic">was</em> a
little more,” he confessed, “but you take it all so seriously; I——”</p>
<p>He had to tell it then, of course. The woman had told him a lot of
gibberish about friendly and unfriendly elements. “She said water was
unfriendly to me; I was to be careful of water, or else I should come
to harm by it. <em class="italic">Fresh</em> water only,” he hastened to add, seeing that the
idea of shipwreck was in her mind.</p>
<p>
“Drowning?” the girl asked quickly.</p>
<p>“Yes,” he admitted with reluctance, but still laughing; “she did say
drowning, though drowning in no ordinary way.”</p>
<p>The girl’s face showed uneasiness a moment. “What does that
mean—drowning in no ordinary way?” she asked, a catch in her breath.</p>
<p>But that he could not tell her, because he did not know himself. He
gave, therefore, the exact words: “You will drown, but will not know
you drown.”</p>
<p>It was unwise of him. He wished afterwards he had invented a happier
report, or had kept this detail back. “I’m safe in Egypt, anyhow,” he
laughed. “I shall be a clever man if I can find enough water in the
desert to do me harm!” And all the way from Trieste to Alexandria he
remembered the promise she had extracted—that he would never once go
on the Nile unless duty made it imperative for him to do so. He kept
that promise like the literal, faithful soul he was. His love was equal
to the somewhat quixotic sacrifice it occasionally involved. Fresh
water in Egypt there was practically none other, and in any case the
natrum works where his duty lay had their headquarters some distance
out into the desert. The river, with its banks of welcome, refreshing
verdure, was not even visible.</p>
<p>Months passed quickly, and the time for leave came within measurable
distance. In the long interval luck had played the cards kindly for
him, vacancies had occurred, early promotion seemed likely, and his
letters were full of plans to bring her out to share a little house of
their own. His health, however, had not improved; the dryness did not
suit him; even in this short period his blood had thinned, his nervous
system deteriorated, and, contrary to the doctor’s prophecy, the
waterless air had told upon his sleep. A damp climate liked him best,
and once the sun had touched him with its fiery finger.</p>
<p>His letters made no mention of this. He described the life to her,
the work, the sport, the pleasant people, and his chances of increased
pay and early marriage. And a week before he sailed he rode out upon
a final act of duty to inspect the latest diggings his company were
making. His course lay some twenty miles into the desert behind
El-Chobak and towards the limestone hills of Guebel Haidi, and he went
alone, carrying lunch and tea, for it was the weekly holiday of Friday,
and the men were not at work.</p>
<p>The accident was ordinary enough. On his way back in the heat of early
afternoon his pony stumbled against a boulder on the treacherous desert
film, threw him heavily, broke the girth, bolted before he could seize
the reins again, and left him stranded some ten or twelve miles from
home. There was a pain in his knee that made walking difficult, a
buzzing in his head that troubled sight and made the landscape swim,
while, worse than either, his provisions, fastened to the saddle, had
vanished with the frightened pony into those blazing leagues of sand.
He was alone in the Desert, beneath the pitiless afternoon sun, twelve
miles of utterly exhausting country between him and safety.</p>
<p>Under normal conditions he could have covered the distance in four
hours, reaching home by dark; but his knee pained him so that a mile
an hour proved the best he could possibly do. He reflected a few
minutes. The wisest course was to sit down and wait till the pony
told its obvious story to the stable, and help should come. And this
was what he did, for the scorching heat and glare were dangerous;
they were terrible; he was shaken and bewildered by his fall, hungry
and weak into the bargain; and an hour’s painful scrambling over the
baked and burning little gorges must have speedily caused complete
prostration. He sat down and rubbed his aching knee. It was quite a
little adventure. Yet, though he knew the Desert might not be lightly
trifled with, he felt at the moment nothing more than this—and the
amusing description of it he would give in his letter, or—intoxicating
thought—by word of mouth. In the heat of the sun he began to feel
drowsy. A soft torpor crept over him. He dozed. He fell asleep.</p>
<p>It was a long, a dreamless sleep ... for when he woke at length the
sun had just gone down, the dusk lay awfully upon the enormous desert,
and the air was chilly. The cold had waked him. Quickly, as though on
purpose, the red glow faded from the sky; the first stars shone; it
was dark; the heavens were deep violet. He looked round and realised
that his sense of direction had gone entirely. Great hunger was in
him. The cold already was bitter as the wind rose, but the pain in
his knee having eased, he got up and walked a little—and in a moment
lost sight of the spot where he had been lying. The shadowy desert
swallowed it. “Ah,” he realised, “this is not an English field or
moor. I’m in the Desert!” The safe thing to do was to remain exactly
where he was; only thus could the rescuers find him; once he wandered
he was done for. It was strange the search-party had not yet arrived.
To keep warm, however, he was compelled to move, so he made a little
pile of stones to mark the place, and walked round and round it in a
circle of some dozen yards’ diameter. He limped badly, and the hunger
gnawed dreadfully; but, after all, the adventure was not so terrible.
The amusing side of it kept uppermost still. Though fragile in body,
his spirit was not unduly timid or imaginative; he <em class="italic">could</em> last out
the night, or, if the worst came to the worst, the next day as well.
But when he watched the little group of stones, he saw that there were
dozens of them, scores, hundreds, thousands of these little groups of
stones. The desert’s face, of course, is thickly strewn with them. The
original one was lost in the first five minutes. So he sat down again.
But the biting cold, and the wind that licked his very skin beneath
the light clothing, soon forced him up again. It was ominous; and the
night huge and shelterless. The shaft of green zodiacal light that
hung so strangely in the western sky for hours had faded away; the
stars were out in their bright thousands; no guide was anywhere; the
wind moaned and puffed among the sandy mounds; the vast sheet of desert
stretched appallingly upon the world; he heard the jackals cry. ...</p>
<p>And with the jackals’ cry came suddenly the unwelcome realisation that
no play was in this adventure any more, but that a bleak reality stared
at him through the surrounding darkness. He faced it—at bay. He was
genuinely lost. Thought blocked in him. “I must be calm and think,” he
said aloud. His voice woke no echo; it was small and dead; something
gigantic ate it instantly. He got up and walked again. Why did no
one come? Hours had passed. The pony had long ago found its stable,
or—had it run madly in another direction altogether? He worked out
possibilities, tightening his belt. The cold was searching; he never
had been, never could be warm again; the hot sunshine of a few hours
ago seemed the merest dream. Unfamiliar with hardship, he knew not
what to do, but he took his coat and shirt off, vigorously rubbed his
skin where the dried perspiration of the afternoon still caused clammy
shivers, swung his arms furiously like a London cabman, and quickly
dressed again. Though the wind upon his bare back was fearful, he felt
warmer a little. He lay down exhausted, sheltered by an overhanging
limestone crag, and took snatches of fitful dog’s-sleep, while the wind
drove overhead and the dry sand pricked his skin. One face continually
was near him; one pair of tender eyes; two dear hands smoothed him;
he smelt the perfume of light brown hair. It was all natural enough.
His whole thought, in his misery, ran to her in England—England
where there were soft fresh grass, big sheltering trees, hemlock and
honeysuckle in the hedges—while the hard black Desert guarded him,
and consciousness dipped away at little intervals under this dry and
pitiless Egyptian sky. ...</p>
<p>It was perhaps five in the morning when a voice spoke and he started
up with a horrid jerk—the voice of that clairvoyante woman. The
sentence died away into the darkness, but one word remained: <em class="italic">Water!</em>
At first he wondered, but at once explanation came. Cause and effect
were obvious. The clue was physical. His body needed water, and so the
thought came up into his mind. He was thirsty.</p>
<p>This was the moment when fear first really touched him. Hunger was
manageable, more or less—for a day or two, certainly. But thirst!
Thirst and the Desert were an evil pair that, by cumulative suggestion
gathering since childhood days, brought terror in. Once in the mind
it could not be dislodged. In spite of his best efforts, the ghastly
thing grew passionately—because his thirst grew too. He had smoked
much; had eaten spiced things at lunch; had breathed in alkali with
the dry, scorched air. He searched for a cool flint pebble to put into
his burning mouth, but found only angular scraps of dusty limestone.
There were no pebbles here. The cold helped a little to counteract, but
already he knew in himself subconsciously the dread of something that
was coming. What was it? He tried to hide the thought and bury it out
of sight. The utter futility of his tiny strength against the power of
the universe appalled him. And then he knew. The merciless sun was on
the way, already rising. Its return was like the presage of execution
to him. ...</p>
<p>It came. With true horror he watched the marvellous swift dawn break
over the sandy sea. The eastern sky glowed hurriedly as from crimson
fires. Ridges, not noticeable in the starlight, turned black in endless
series, like flat-topped billows of a frozen ocean. Wide streaks of
blue and yellow followed, as the sky dropped sheets of faint light
upon the wind-eaten cliffs and showed their under sides. They did not
advance; they waited till the sun was up—and then they moved; they
rose and sank; they shifted as the sunshine lifted them and the shadows
crept away. But in an hour there would be no shadows any more. There
would be no shade! ...</p>
<p>The little groups of stones began to dance. It was horrible. The
unbroken, huge expanse lay round him, warming up, twelve hours of
blazing hell to come. Already the monstrous Desert glared, each bit
familiar, since each bit was a repetition of the bit before, behind, on
either side. It laughed at guidance and direction. He rose and walked;
for miles he walked, though how many, north, south, or west, he knew
not. The frantic thing was in him now, the fury of the Desert; he took
its pace, its endless, tireless stride, the stride of the burning,
murderous Desert that is—waterless. He felt it alive—a blindly heaving
desire in it to reduce him to its conditionless, awful dryness. He
felt—yet knowing this was feverish and <em class="italic">not</em> to be believed—that
his own small life lay on its mighty surface, a mere dot in space, a
mere heap of little stones. His emotions, his fears, his hopes, his
ambition, his love—mere bundled group of little unimportant stones
that danced with apparent activity for a moment, then were merged in
the undifferentiated surface underneath. He was included in a purpose
greater than his own.</p>
<p>The will made a plucky effort then. “A night and a day,” he laughed,
while his lips cracked smartingly with the stretching of the skin,
“what is it? Many a chap has lasted days and days ...!” Yes, only he was
not of that rare company. He was ordinary, unaccustomed to privation,
weak, untrained of spirit, unacquainted with stern resistance. He knew
not how to spare himself. The Desert struck him where it pleased—all
over. It played with him. His tongue was swollen; the parched throat
could not swallow. He sank. ... An hour he lay there, just wit enough in
him to choose the top of a mound where he could be most easily seen.
He lay two hours, three, four hours. ... The heat blazed down upon him
like a furnace. ... The sky, when he opened his eyes once, was empty ...
then a speck became visible in the blue expanse; and presently another
speck. They came from nowhere. They hovered very high, almost out of
sight. They appeared, they disappeared, they—reappeared. Nearer and
nearer they swung down, in sweeping stealthy circles ... little dancing
groups of them, miles away but ever drawing closer—the vultures. ...</p>
<p>He had strained his ears so long for sounds of feet and voices that
it seemed he could no longer hear at all. Hearing had ceased within
him. Then came the water-dreams, with their agonising torture. He
heard <em class="italic">that</em> ... heard it running in silvery streams and rivulets
across green English meadows. It rippled with silvery music. He heard
it splash. He dipped hands and feet and head in it—in deep, clear
pools of generous depth. He drank; with his skin he drank, not with
mouth and throat alone. Ice clinked in effervescent, sparkling water
against a glass. He swam and plunged. Water gushed freely over back and
shoulders, gallons and gallons of it, bathfuls and to spare, a flood of
gushing, crystal, cool, life-giving liquid. ... And then he stood in a
beech wood and felt the streaming deluge of delicious summer rain upon
his face; heard it drip luxuriantly upon a million thirsty leaves. The
wet trunks shone, the damp moss spread its perfume, ferns waved heavily
in the moist atmosphere. He was soaked to the skin in it. A mountain
torrent, fresh from fields of snow, foamed boiling past, and the spray
fell in a shower upon his cheeks and hair. He dived—head foremost. ...
Ah, he was up to the neck ... and <em class="italic">she</em> was with him; they were under
water together; he saw her eyes gleaming into his own beneath the
copious flood.</p>
<p>The voice, however, was not hers. ... “You will drown, yet you will not
know you drown ...!” His swollen tongue called out a name. But no sound
was audible. He closed his eyes. There came sweet unconsciousness. ...</p>
<p>A sound in that instant <em class="italic">was</em> audible, though. It was a
voice—voices—and the thud of animal hoofs upon the sand. The specks
had vanished from the sky as mysteriously as they came. And, as though
in answer to the sound, he made a movement—an automatic, unconscious
movement. He did not know he moved. And the body, uncontrolled, lost
its precarious balance. He rolled; but he did not know he rolled.
Slowly, over the edge of the sloping mound of sand, he turned sideways.
Like a log of wood he slid gradually, turning over and over, nothing
to stop him—to the bottom. A few feet only, and not even steep; just
steep enough to keep rolling slowly. There was a—splash. But he did
not know there was a splash.</p>
<p>They found him in a pool of water—one of these rare pools the Desert
Bedouin mark preciously for their own. He had lain within three yards
of it for hours. He was drowned ... but he did not know he drowned. ...</p>
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