<h2><SPAN name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></SPAN>CHAPTER V</h2>
<p>We finished our year at Harvard, giving up the A.M. idea for the
present. Carl got A's in every subject and was asked to take a
teaching fellowship under Ripley; but it was Europe for us. We set
forth February 22, 1909, in a big snowstorm, with two babies, and
one thousand six hundred and seventy-six bundles, bags, and
presents. Jim was in one of those fur-bags that babies use in the
East. Everything we were about to forget the last minute got shoved
into that bag with Jim, and it surely began to look as if we had
brought a young and very lumpy mastodon into the world!</p>
<p>We went by boat from Boston to New York, and sailed on the
Pennsylvania February 24. People wrote us in those days: "You two
brave people—think of starting to Europe with two babies!"
Brave was the last word to use. Had we worried or had fears over
anything, and yet fared forth, we should perhaps have been brave.
As it was, I can feel again the sensation of leaving New York,
gazing back on the city buildings and bridges bathed in sunshine
after the storm. Exultant joy was in our hearts, that was all. Not
one worry, not one concern, not one small drop of homesickness. We
were to see Europe together, year before we had dreamed it
possible. It just seemed too glorious to be true. "Brave"? Far from
it. Simply eager, glowing, filled to the brim with a determination
to drain every day to the full.</p>
<p>I discovered that, while my husband had married a female who
could not cook rice (though she learned), I had taken unto myself a
spouse who curled up green half a day out on the ocean, and stayed
that way for about six days. He tried so desperately to help with
the babies, but it always made matters worse. If I had turned
green, too—But babies and I prospered without interruption,
though some ants did try to eat Jim's scalp off one
night—"sugar ants" the doctor called them. "They knew their
business," our dad remarked. We were three days late getting into
Hamburg—fourteen days on the ocean, all told. And then to be
in Hamburg in Germany—in Europe! I remember our first meal in
the queer little cheap hotel we rooted out. "<i>Eier</i>" was the
only word on the bill of fare we could make out, so Carl brushed up
his German and ordered four for us, fried. And the waiter brought
four each. He probably declared for years that all Americans always
eat four fried eggs each and every night for supper.</p>
<p>We headed for Leipzig at once, and there Carl unearthed the
Pension Schröter on Sophien Platz. There we had two rooms and
all the food we could eat,—far too much for us to eat, and
oh! so delicious,—for fifty-five dollars a month for the
entire family, although Jim hardly ranked as yet, economically
speaking, as part of the consuming public. We drained Leipzig to
the dregs—a good German idiom. Carl worked at his German
steadily, almost frantically, with a lesson every day along with
all his university work—a seven o'clock lecture by
Bücher every morning being the cheery start for the day, and
we blocks and blocks from the University. I think of Carl through
those days with extra pride, though it is hard to decide that I was
ever prouder of him at one time than another. But he strained and
labored without ceasing at such an uninspiring job. All his hard
study that broken-hearted summer at Freiburg had given him no
single word of an economic vocabulary. In Leipzig he listened hour
by hour to the lectures of his German professors, sometimes not
understanding an important word for several days, yet exerting
every intellectual muscle to get some light in his darkness. Then,
for, hours each day and almost every evening, it was grammar,
grammar, grammar, till he wondered at times if all life meant an
understanding of the subjunctive. Then, little by little, rays of
hope. "I caught five words in ——'s lecture to-day!"
Then it was ten, then twenty. Never a lecture of any day did he
miss.</p>
<p>We stole moments for joy along the way. First, of course, there
was the opera—grand opera at twenty-five cents a seat. How
Wagner bored us at first—except the parts here and there that
we had known all our lives. Neither of us had had any musical
education to speak of; each of us got great joy out of what we
considered "good" music, but which was evidently low-brow. And
Wagner at first was too much for us. That night in Leipzig we heard
the "Walküre!"—utterly aghast and rather impatient at so
much non-understandable noise. Then we would drop down to "Carmen,"
"La Bohême," Hoffman's "Erzäblung," and think, "This is
life!" Each night that we spared for a spree we sought out some
beer-hall—as unfrequented a one as possible, to get all the
local color we could.</p>
<p>Once Carl decided that, as long as we had come so far, I must
get a glimpse of real European night-life—it might startle me
a bit, but would do no harm. So, after due deliberation, he led me
to the Café Bauer, the reputed wild and questionable resort
of Leipzig night-life, though the pension glanced ceiling-wards and
sighed and shook their heads. I do not know just what I did expect
to see, but I know that what I saw was countless stolid family
parties—on all sides grandmas and grandpas and sons and
daughters, and the babies in high chairs beating the tables with
spoons. It was quite the most moral atmosphere we ever found
ourselves in. That is what you get for deliberately setting out to
see the wickedness of the world!</p>
<p>From Leipzig we went to Berlin. We did not want to go to
Berlin—Jena was the spot we had in mind. Just as a few months
at Harvard showed us that one year there would be but a mere start,
so one semester in Germany showed us that one year there would get
us nowhere. We must stay longer,—from one to two years
longer,—but how, alas, how finance it? That eternal question!
We finally decided that, if we took the next semester or so in
Berlin, Carl could earn money enough coaching to keep us going
without having to borrow more. So to Berlin we went. We
accomplished our financial purpose, but at too great a cost.</p>
<p>In Berlin we found a small furnished apartment on the ground
floor of a Gartenhaus in Charlottenburg—Mommsen Strasse it
was. At once Carl started out to find coaching; and how he found it
always seemed to me an illustration of the way he could succeed at
anything anywhere. We knew no one in Berlin. First he went to the
minister of the American church; he in turn gave him names of
Americans who might want coaching, and then Carl looked up those
people. In about two months he had all the coaching he could
possibly handle, and we could have stayed indefinitely in Berlin in
comfort, for Carl was making over one hundred dollars a month, and
that in his spare time.</p>
<p>But the agony of those months: to be in Germany and yet get so
little Germany out of it! We had splendid letters of introduction
to German people, from German friends we had made in Leipzig, but
we could not find a chance even to present them. Carl coached three
youngsters in the three R's; he was preparing two of the age just
above, for college; he had one American youth, who had ambitions to
burst out monthly in the "Saturday Evening Post" stories; there was
a class of five middle-aged women, who wanted Shakespeare, and got
it; two classes in Current Events; one group of Christian
Scientists, who put in a modest demand for the history of the
world. I remember Carl had led them up to Pepin the Short when we
left Berlin. He contracted everything and anything except one group
who desired a course of lectures in Pragmatism. I do not think he
had ever heard of the term then, but he took one look at the lay of
the land and said—not so! In his last years, when he became
such a worshiper at the shrine of William James and John Dewey, we
often used to laugh at his Berlin profanity over the very idea of
ever getting a word of such "bunk" into his head.</p>
<p>But think of the strain it all meant—lessons and lessons
every day, on every subject under heaven, and in every spare minute
continued grinding at his German, and, of course, every day
numerous hours at the University, and so little time for sprees
together. We assumed in our prosperity the luxury of a
maid—the unparalleled Anna Bederke aus Rothenburg, Kreis
Bumps (?), Posen, at four dollars a month, who for a year and a
half was the amusement and desperation of ourselves and our
friends. Dear, crooked-nosed, one-good-eye Anna! She adored the
ground we walked on. Our German friends told us we had ruined her
forever—she would never be fit for the discipline of a German
household again. Since war was first declared we have lost all
track of Anna. Was her Poland home in the devastated country? Did
she marry a soldier, and is she too, perhaps, a widow? Faithful
Anna, do not think for one minute you will ever be forgotten by the
Parkers.</p>
<p>With Anna to leave the young with now and then, I was able to
get in two sprees a week with Carl. Every Wednesday and Saturday
noon I met him at the University and we had lunch together. Usually
on Wednesdays we ate at the Café Rheingold, the spot I think
of with most affection as I look back on Berlin.</p>
<p>We used to eat in the "Shell Room"—an individual
chicken-and-rice pie (as much chicken as rice), a vegetable, and a
glass of beer each, for thirty-five cents for both. Saturdays we
hunted for different smaller out-of-the-way restaurants. Wednesday
nights "Uncle K." of the University of Wisconsin always came to
supper, bringing a thirty-five-cent rebate his landlady allowed him
when he ate out; and we had chicken every Wednesday night, which
cost—a fat one—never more than fifty cents. (It was
Uncle K. who wrote, "The world is so different with Carl gone!")
Once we rented bicycles and rode all through the Tiergarten, Carl
and I, with the expected stiffness and soreness next day.</p>
<p>Then there was Christmas in Berlin. Three friends traveled up
from Rome to be with us, two students came from Leipzig, and four
from Berlin—eleven for dinner, and four chairs all told. It
was a regular "La Bohême" festival—one guest appearing
with a bottle of wine under his arm, another with a jar of caviare
sent him from Russia. We had a gay week of it after Christmas, when
the whole eleven of us went on some Dutch-treat spree every night,
before going back to our studies.</p>
<p>Then came those last grueling months in Berlin, when Carl had a
breakdown, and I got sick nursing him and had to go to a German
hospital; and while I was there Jim was threatened with pneumonia
and Nandy got tonsillitis. In the midst of it all the lease expired
on our Wohnung, and Carl and Anna had to move the family out. We
decided that we had had all we wanted of coaching in
Berlin,—we came to that conclusion before any of the
breakdowns,—threw our pride to the winds, borrowed more money
from my good father, and as soon as the family was well enough to
travel, we made for our ever-to-be-adored Heidelberg.</p>
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