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<h3 id="id01495" style="margin-top: 3em">CHAPTER XXVI</h3> Goggles 'What divine heavenly pets and ducks of angels they are!' exclaimed Lady Everard rather distractedly. 'Angels! Divine! And so good, too! I never saw such darlings in my life. Look at them, Paul. Aren't they sweet?' Lady Everard with her party (what Aylmer called her performing troupe) had driven over to Westgate, from where she was staying in the neighbourhood, to have tea with Edith. She had brought with her a sort of juvenile party, consisting of Mr Cricker, Captain Willis and, of course, Paul La France, the young singer. She never moved without him. She explained that two other women had been coming also, but they had deserted her at the last minute. Paul La France had been trying for an hour and a half to make eyes through motor goggles, which, naturally, was not a success; so he seemed a little out of temper. Archie was staring at him as if fascinated. He went up and said: 'Voulez-vous lend me your goggles?' 'Mais certainement! Of course I will. Voilà mon petit.' 'The darling! How sweet and amusing of him! But they're only to be used in the motor, you know. Don't break them, darling, will you? Monsieur will want them again. Ah! how sweet he looks!' as he put them on, 'I never saw such a darling in the whole course of my life! Look at him, Mrs Ottley. Look at him, Paul!' 'Charmant. C'est délicieux,' grumbled La France. 'What a charming little lawn this is, going right down to the sea, too. Oh, Mr Ross, is that you? Isn't this a delightful little house? More tea? Yes, please. Mr La France doesn't take sugar, and—' 'You don't know what I am now,' said Archie, having fixed the goggles on his own fair head, to the delight of Dilly. 'Oh, I guess what you are! You're a motorist, aren't you, darling? That's it! It's extraordinary how well I always get on with children, Mrs Ottley,' explained Lady Everard. 'I daresay it's through being used to my little grandchildren, Eva's two angels, you know, but I never see them because I can't stand their noise, and yet I simply adore them. Pets!' 'What am I?' asked Archie, in his persistent way, as he walked round the group on the lawn, in goggles, followed closely by Dilly, saying, 'Yes, what is he?' looking exactly like a live doll, with her golden hair and blue ribbons. 'You're a motorist, darling.' 'No, I'm not a silly motorist. Guess what I am?' 'It's so difficult to guess, such hot weather! Can you guess, Paul?' 'I sink he is a nuisance,' replied the Frenchman, laughing politely. 'No, that's wrong. You guess what I am.' 'Guess what he is,' echoed Dilly. 'O Lord! what does it matter? What I always say is—live and let live, and let it go at that,' said Captain Willis, with his loud laugh. 'What, Mrs Ottley? But they won't do it, you know—they won't—and there it is!' 'Guess what I am,' persisted Archie. 'Never mind what you are; do go and sit down, and take those things off,' said Edith. 'Not till you guess what I am.' 'Does Dilly know?' 'No, Dilly doesn't know. Guess what I am, grandmamma!' 'I give it up.' 'I thought you'd never guess. Well, I'm a blue-faced mandrill!' declared Archie, as he took the goggles off reluctantly and gave them back to La France, who put them under his chair. 'Yes, he's a two-faced mangle,' repeated Dilly. He turned round on her sharply. 'Now, don't talk nonsense! You're a silly girl. I never said anything about being a two-faced mangle; I'm a blue-faced mandrill.' 'Well, I said so; a two-faced mangle.' 'Don't say anything at all if you can't say it right,' said Archie, raising his voice and losing his temper. 'Well, they's both the same.' 'No, they jolly well aren't.' He drew her a little aside. 'A blue-faced mandrill, silly, is real; it's in my natural history book.' 'Sorry,' said Dilly apologetically. 'In my natural history book it is, a real thing. I'm a blue-faced mandrill…. Now say it after me.' 'You's a two-faced mangle.' 'Now you're doing it on purpose! If you weren't a little girl, Dilly—' 'I wasn't doing it on purpose.' 'Oh, get away before I hit you! You're a silly little fool.' She slowly walked away, calling out: 'And you're a silly two-faced mangle,' in a very irritating tone. Archie made a tremendous effort to ignore her, then he ran after her saying: 'Will you shut up or will you not?' Aylmer seized hold of him. 'What are you going to do, Archie?' 'Teach Dilly what I am. She says—Oh, she's such a fool!' 'No, Archie, leave her alone; she's only a baby. Come along, old boy. Give Mr Cricker a cup of tea; he hasn't had one yet.' Archie was devoted to Aylmer. Following him, he handed the tea to Mr Cricker, saying pathetically: 'I'm a blue-faced mandrill, and she knew it. I told her so. Aren't girls fools? They do worry!' 'They are torments,' said Aylmer. 'I wish that Frenchman would give me his goggles to keep! He doesn't want them.' 'I'll give you a pair,' said Aylmer. 'Thanks,' said Cricker,' I won't have any tea. I wish you'd come and have a little talk with me, Ross. Can I have a word with you alone?' Aylmer good-naturedly went aside with him. 'It's worse than ever,' said Cricker, in low, mysterious tones. 'Since I've been staying with Lady Everard it's been wire, wire, wire—ring, ring, ring—and letters by every post! You see, I thought it was rather a good plan to get away for a bit, but I'm afraid I shall have to go back. Fancy, she's threatened suicide, and telling her husband, and confiding in Lady Everard! And giving up the stage, and oh, goodness knows what! There's no doubt the poor child is absolutely raving about me. No doubt whatever.' Aylmer was as sympathetic as he knew how. The party was just going off when La France found that the goggles had disappeared. A search-party was organised; great excitement prevailed; but in the end they went away without the glasses. When Dilly had just gone to sleep in her cot a frightening figure crept into her room and turned on the electric light. 'Oh, Archie! What is it! Who is it! Oh!… Oh!' 'Don't be frightened,' said Archie, in his deepest voice, obviously hoping she would be frightened. He was in pyjamas and goggles. 'Don't be frightened! Now! Say what I am. What am I?' 'A blue-faced mandrill,' she whined. He took off the goggles and kissed her. 'Right! Good night, old girl!' <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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