<SPAN name="startofbook"></SPAN>
<h1>THE PRIVATE PAPERS OF HENRY RYECROFT</h1>
<h2>PREFACE</h2>
<p>The name of Henry Ryecroft never became familiar to what is called
the reading public. A year ago obituary paragraphs in the literary
papers gave such account of him as was thought needful: the date and
place of his birth, the names of certain books he had written, an allusion
to his work in the periodicals, the manner of his death. At the
time it sufficed. Even those few who knew the man, and in a measure
understood him, must have felt that his name called for no further celebration;
like other mortals, he had lived and laboured; like other mortals, he
had entered into his rest. To me, however, fell the duty of examining
Ryecroft’s papers; and having, in the exercise of my discretion,
decided to print this little volume, I feel that it requires a word
or two of biographical complement, just so much personal detail as may
point the significance of the self-revelation here made.</p>
<p>When first I knew him, Ryecroft had reached his fortieth year; for
twenty years he had lived by the pen. He was a struggling man,
beset by poverty and other circumstances very unpropitious to mental
work. Many forms of literature had he tried; in none had he been
conspicuously successful; yet now and then he had managed to earn a
little more money than his actual needs demanded, and thus was enabled
to see something of foreign countries. Naturally a man of independent
and rather scornful outlook, he had suffered much from defeated ambition,
from disillusions of many kinds, from subjection to grim necessity;
the result of it, at the time of which I am speaking, was, certainly
not a broken spirit, but a mind and temper so sternly disciplined, that,
in ordinary intercourse with him, one did not know but that he led a
calm, contented life. Only after several years of friendship was
I able to form a just idea of what the man had gone through, or of his
actual existence. Little by little Ryecroft had subdued himself
to a modestly industrious routine. He did a great deal of mere
hack-work; he reviewed, he translated, he wrote articles; at long intervals
a volume appeared under his name. There were times, I have no
doubt, when bitterness took hold upon him; not seldom he suffered in
health, and probably as much from moral as from physical over-strain;
but, on the whole, he earned his living very much as other men do, taking
the day’s toil as a matter of course, and rarely grumbling over
it.</p>
<p>Time went on; things happened; but Ryecroft was still laborious and
poor. In moments of depression he spoke of his declining energies,
and evidently suffered under a haunting fear of the future. The
thought of dependence had always been intolerable to him; perhaps the
only boast I at any time heard from his lips was that he had never incurred
debt. It was a bitter thought that, after so long and hard a struggle
with unkindly circumstance, he might end his life as one of the defeated.</p>
<p>A happier lot was in store for him. At the age of fifty, just
when his health had begun to fail and his energies to show abatement,
Ryecroft had the rare good fortune to find himself suddenly released
from toil, and to enter upon a period of such tranquillity of mind and
condition as he had never dared to hope. On the death of an acquaintance,
more his friend than he imagined, the wayworn man of letters learnt
with astonishment that there was bequeathed to him a life annuity of
three hundred pounds. Having only himself to support (he had been
a widower for several years, and his daughter, an only child, was married),
Ryecroft saw in this income something more than a competency.
In a few weeks he quitted the London suburb where of late he had been
living, and, turning to the part of England which he loved best, he
presently established himself in a cottage near Exeter, where, with
a rustic housekeeper to look after him, he was soon thoroughly at home.
Now and then some friend went down into Devon to see him; those who
had that pleasure will not forget the plain little house amid its half-wild
garden, the cosy book-room with its fine view across the valley of the
Exe to Haldon, the host’s cordial, gleeful hospitality, rambles
with him in lanes and meadows, long talks amid the stillness of the
rural night. We hoped it would all last for many a year; it seemed,
indeed, as though Ryecroft had only need of rest and calm to become
a hale man. But already, though he did not know it, he was suffering
from a disease of the heart, which cut short his life after little more
than a lustrum of quiet contentment. It had always been his wish
to die suddenly; he dreaded the thought of illness, chiefly because
of the trouble it gave to others. On a summer evening, after a
long walk in very hot weather, he lay down upon the sofa in his study,
and there—as his calm face declared—passed from slumber
into the great silence.</p>
<p>When he left London, Ryecroft bade farewell to authorship.
He told me that he hoped never to write another line for publication.
But, among the papers which I looked through after his death, I came
upon three manuscript books which at first glance seemed to be a diary;
a date on the opening page of one of them showed that it had been begun
not very long after the writer’s settling in Devon. When
I had read a little in these pages, I saw that they were no mere record
of day-to-day life; evidently finding himself unable to forego altogether
the use of the pen, the veteran had set down, as humour bade him, a
thought, a reminiscence, a bit of reverie, a description of his state
of mind, and so on, dating such passage merely with the month in which
it was written. Sitting in the room where I had often been his
companion, I turned page after page, and at moments it was as though
my friend’s voice sounded to me once more. I saw his worn
visage, grave or smiling; recalled his familiar pose or gesture.
But in this written gossip he revealed himself more intimately than
in our conversation of the days gone by. Ryecroft had never erred
by lack of reticence; as was natural in a sensitive man who had suffered
much, he inclined to gentle acquiescence, shrank from argument, from
self-assertion. Here he spoke to me without restraint, and, when
I had read it all through, I knew the man better than before.</p>
<p>Assuredly, this writing was not intended for the public, and yet,
in many a passage, I seemed to perceive the literary purpose—something
more than the turn of phrase, and so on, which results from long habit
of composition. Certain of his reminiscences, in particular, Ryecroft
could hardly have troubled to write down had he not, however vaguely,
entertained the thought of putting them to some use. I suspect
that, in his happy leisure, there grew upon him a desire to write one
more book, a book which should be written merely for his own satisfaction.
Plainly, it would have been the best he had it in him to do. But
he seems never to have attempted the arrangement of these fragmentary
pieces, and probably because he could not decide upon the form they
should take. I imagine him shrinking from the thought of a first-person
volume; he would feel it too pretentious; he would bid himself wait
for the day of riper wisdom. And so the pen fell from his hand.</p>
<p>Conjecturing thus, I wondered whether the irregular diary might not
have wider interest than at first appeared. To me, its personal
appeal was very strong; might it not be possible to cull from it the
substance of a small volume which, at least for its sincerity’s
sake, would not be without value for those who read, not with the eye
alone, but with the mind? I turned the pages again. Here
was a man who, having his desire, and that a very modest one, not only
felt satisfied, but enjoyed great happiness. He talked of many
different things, saying exactly what he thought; he spoke of himself,
and told the truth as far as mortal can tell it. It seemed to
me that the thing had human interest. I decided to print.</p>
<p>The question of arrangement had to be considered; I did not like
to offer a mere incondite miscellany. To supply each of the disconnected
passages with a title, or even to group them under subject headings,
would have interfered with the spontaneity which, above all, I wished
to preserve. In reading through the matter I had selected, it
struck me how often the aspects of nature were referred to, and how
suitable many of the reflections were to the month with which they were
dated. Ryecroft, I knew, had ever been much influenced by the
mood of the sky, and by the procession of the year. So I hit upon
the thought of dividing the little book into four chapters, named after
the seasons. Like all classifications, it is imperfect, but ’twill
serve.</p>
<p>G. G.</p>
<h2>SPRING</h2>
<h3>I.</h3>
<p>For more than a week my pen has lain untouched. I have written
nothing for seven whole days, not even a letter. Except during
one or two bouts of illness, such a thing never happened in my life
before. In my life; the life, that is, which had to be supported
by anxious toil; the life which was not lived for living’s sake,
as all life should be, but under the goad of fear. The earning
of money should be a means to an end; for more than thirty years—I
began to support myself at sixteen—I had to regard it as the end
itself.</p>
<p>I could imagine that my old penholder feels reproachfully towards
me. Has it not served me well? Why do I, in my happiness,
let it lie there neglected, gathering dust? The same penholder
that has lain against my forefinger day after day, for—how many
years? Twenty, at least; I remember buying it at a shop in Tottenham
Court Road. By the same token I bought that day a paper-weight,
which cost me a whole shilling—an extravagance which made me tremble.
The penholder shone with its new varnish, now it is plain brown wood
from end to end. On my forefinger it has made a callosity.</p>
<p>Old companion, yet old enemy! How many a time have I taken
it up, loathing the necessity, heavy in head and heart, my hand shaking,
my eyes sick-dazzled! How I dreaded the white page I had to foul
with ink! Above all, on days such as this, when the blue eyes
of Spring laughed from between rosy clouds, when the sunlight shimmered
upon my table and made me long, long all but to madness, for the scent
of the flowering earth, for the green of hillside larches, for the singing
of the skylark above the downs. There was a time—it seems
further away than childhood—when I took up my pen with eagerness;
if my hand trembled it was with hope. But a hope that fooled me,
for never a page of my writing deserved to live. I can say that
now without bitterness. It was youthful error, and only the force
of circumstance prolonged it. The world has done me no injustice;
thank Heaven I have grown wise enough not to rail at it for this!
And why should any man who writes, even if he write things immortal,
nurse anger at the world’s neglect? Who asked him to publish?
Who promised him a hearing? Who has broken faith with him?
If my shoemaker turn me out an excellent pair of boots, and I, in some
mood of cantankerous unreason, throw them back upon his hands, the man
has just cause of complaint. But your poem, your novel, who bargained
with you for it? If it is honest journeywork, yet lacks purchasers,
at most you may call yourself a hapless tradesman. If it come
from on high, with what decency do you fret and fume because it is not
paid for in heavy cash? For the work of man’s mind there
is one test, and one alone, the judgment of generations yet unborn.
If you have written a great book, the world to come will know of it.
But you don’t care for posthumous glory. You want to enjoy
fame in a comfortable armchair. Ah, that is quite another thing.
Have the courage of your desire. Admit yourself a merchant, and
protest to gods and men that the merchandise you offer is of better
quality than much which sells for a high price. You may be right,
and indeed it is hard upon you that Fashion does not turn to your stall.</p>
<h3>II.</h3>
<p>The exquisite quiet of this room! I have been sitting in utter
idleness, watching the sky, viewing the shape of golden sunlight upon
the carpet, which changes as the minutes pass, letting my eye wander
from one framed print to another, and along the ranks of my beloved
books. Within the house nothing stirs. In the garden I can
hear singing of birds, I can hear the rustle of their wings. And
thus, if it please me, I may sit all day long, and into the profounder
quiet of the night.</p>
<p>My house is perfect. By great good fortune I have found a housekeeper
no less to my mind, a low-voiced, light-footed woman of discreet age,
strong and deft enough to render me all the service I require, and not
afraid of solitude. She rises very early. By my breakfast-time
there remains little to be done under the roof save dressing of meals.
Very rarely do I hear even a clink of crockery; never the closing of
a door or window. Oh, blessed silence!</p>
<p>There is not the remotest possibility of any one’s calling
upon me, and that I should call upon any one else is a thing undreamt
of. I owe a letter to a friend; perhaps I shall write it before
bedtime; perhaps I shall leave it till to-morrow morning. A letter
of friendship should never be written save when the spirit prompts.
I have not yet looked at the newspaper. Generally I leave it till
I come back tired from my walk; it amuses me then to see what the noisy
world is doing, what new self-torments men have discovered, what new
forms of vain toil, what new occasions of peril and of strife.
I grudge to give the first freshness of the morning mind to things so
sad and foolish.</p>
<p>My house is perfect. Just large enough to allow the grace of
order in domestic circumstance; just that superfluity of intramural
space, to lack which is to be less than at one’s ease. The
fabric is sound; the work in wood and plaster tells of a more leisurely
and a more honest age than ours. The stairs do not creak under
my step; I am waylaid by no unkindly draught; I can open or close a
window without muscle-ache. As to such trifles as the tint and
device of wall-paper, I confess my indifference; be the walls only unobtrusive,
and I am satisfied. The first thing in one’s home is comfort;
let beauty of detail be added if one has the means, the patience, the
eye.</p>
<p>To me, this little book-room is beautiful, and chiefly because it
is home. Through the greater part of life I was homeless.
Many places have I inhabited, some which my soul loathed, and some which
pleased me well; but never till now with that sense of security which
makes a home. At any moment I might have been driven forth by
evil hap, by nagging necessity. For all that time did I say within
myself: Some day, perchance, I shall have a home; yet the “perchance”
had more and more of emphasis as life went on, and at the moment when
fate was secretly smiling on me, I had all but abandoned hope.
I have my home at last. When I place a new volume on my shelves,
I say: Stand there whilst I have eyes to see you; and a joyous tremor
thrills me. This house is mine on a lease of a score of years.
So long I certainly shall not live; but, if I did, even so long should
I have the wherewithal to pay my rent and buy my food.</p>
<p>I think with compassion of the unhappy mortals for whom no such sun
will ever rise. I should like to add to the Litany a new petition:
“For all inhabitants of great towns, and especially for all such
as dwell in lodgings, boarding-houses, flats, or any other sordid substitute
for Home which need or foolishness may have contrived.”</p>
<p>In vain I have pondered the Stoic virtues. I know that it is
folly to fret about the spot of one’s abode on this little earth.</p>
<blockquote><p>All places that the eye of heaven visits<br/>
Are to the wise man ports and happy havens.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>But I have always worshipped wisdom afar off. In the sonorous
period of the philosopher, in the golden measure of the poet, I find
it of all things lovely. To its possession I shall never attain.
What will it serve me to pretend a virtue of which I am incapable?
To me the place and manner of my abode is of supreme import; let it
be confessed, and there an end of it. I am no cosmopolite.
Were I to think that I should die away from England, the thought would
be dreadful to me. And in England, this is the dwelling of my
choice; this is my home.</p>
<h3>III.</h3>
<p>I am no botanist, but I have long found pleasure in herb-gathering.
I love to come upon a plant which is unknown to me, to identify it with
the help of my book, to greet it by name when next it shines beside
my path. If the plant be rare, its discovery gives me joy.
Nature, the great Artist, makes her common flowers in the common view;
no word in human language can express the marvel and the loveliness
even of what we call the vulgarest weed, but these are fashioned under
the gaze of every passer-by. The rare flower is shaped apart,
in places secret, in the Artist’s subtler mood; to find it is
to enjoy the sense of admission to a holier precinct. Even in
my gladness I am awed.</p>
<p>To-day I have walked far, and at the end of my walk I found the little
white-flowered wood-ruff. It grew in a copse of young ash.
When I had looked long at the flower, I delighted myself with the grace
of the slim trees about it—their shining smoothness, their olive
hue. Hard by stood a bush of wych elm; its tettered bark, overlined
as if with the character of some unknown tongue, made the young ashes
yet more beautiful.</p>
<p>It matters not how long I wander. There is no task to bring
me back; no one will be vexed or uneasy, linger I ever so late.
Spring is shining upon these lanes and meadows; I feel as if I must
follow every winding track that opens by my way. Spring has restored
to me something of the long-forgotten vigour of youth; I walk without
weariness; I sing to myself like a boy, and the song is one I knew in
boyhood.</p>
<p>That reminds me of an incident. Near a hamlet, in a lonely
spot by a woodside, I came upon a little lad of perhaps ten years old,
who, his head hidden in his arms against a tree trunk, was crying bitterly.
I asked him what was the matter, and, after a little trouble—he
was better than a mere bumpkin—I learnt that, having been sent
with sixpence to pay a debt, he had lost the money. The poor little
fellow was in a state of mind which in a grave man would be called the
anguish of despair; he must have been crying for a long time; every
muscle in his face quivered as if under torture, his limbs shook; his
eyes, his voice, uttered such misery as only the vilest criminal should
be made to suffer. And it was because he had lost sixpence!</p>
<p>I could have shed tears with him—tears of pity and of rage
at all this spectacle implied. On a day of indescribable glory,
when earth and heaven shed benedictions upon the soul of man, a child,
whose nature would have bidden him rejoice as only childhood may, wept
his heart out because his hand had dropped a sixpenny piece! The
loss was a very serious one, and he knew it; he was less afraid to face
his parents, than overcome by misery at the thought of the harm he had
done them. Sixpence dropped by the wayside, and a whole family
made wretched! What are the due descriptive terms for a state
of “civilization” in which such a thing as this is possible?</p>
<p>I put my hand into my pocket, and wrought sixpennyworth of miracle.</p>
<p>It took me half an hour to recover my quiet mind. After all,
it is as idle to rage against man’s fatuity as to hope that he
will ever be less a fool. For me, the great thing was my sixpenny
miracle. Why, I have known the day when it would have been beyond
my power altogether, or else would have cost me a meal. Wherefore,
let me again be glad and thankful.</p>
<h3>IV.</h3>
<p>There was a time in my life when, if I had suddenly been set in the
position I now enjoy, conscience would have lain in ambush for me.
What! An income sufficient to support three or four working-class
families—a house all to myself—things beautiful wherever
I turn—and absolutely nothing to do for it all! I should
have been hard put to it to defend myself. In those days I was
feelingly reminded, hour by hour, with what a struggle the obscure multitudes
manage to keep alive. Nobody knows better than I do <i>quam parvo
liceat producere vitam</i>. I have hungered in the streets; I
have laid my head in the poorest shelter; I know what it is to feel
the heart burn with wrath and envy of “the privileged classes.”
Yes, but all that time I was one of “the privileged” myself,
and now I can accept a recognized standing among them without shadow
of self-reproach.</p>
<p>It does not mean that my larger sympathies are blunted. By
going to certain places, looking upon certain scenes, I could most effectually
destroy all the calm that life has brought me. If I hold apart
and purposely refuse to look that way, it is because I believe that
the world is better, not worse, for having one more inhabitant who lives
as becomes a civilized being. Let him whose soul prompts him to
assail the iniquity of things, cry and spare not; let him who has the
vocation go forth and combat. In me it would be to err from Nature’s
guidance. I know, if I know anything, that I am made for the life
of tranquillity and meditation. I know that only thus can such
virtue as I possess find scope. More than half a century of existence
has taught me that most of the wrong and folly which darken earth is
due to those who cannot possess their souls in quiet; that most of the
good which saves mankind from destruction comes of life that is led
in thoughtful stillness. Every day the world grows noisier; I,
for one, will have no part in that increasing clamour, and, were it
only by my silence, I confer a boon on all.</p>
<p>How well would the revenues of a country be expended, if, by mere
pensioning, one-fifth of its population could be induced to live as
I do!</p>
<h3>V.</h3>
<p>“Sir,” said Johnson, “all the arguments which are
brought to represent poverty as no evil, show it to be evidently a great
evil. You never find people labouring to convince you that you
may live very happily upon a plentiful fortune.”</p>
<p>He knew what he was talking of, that rugged old master of common
sense. Poverty is of course a relative thing; the term has reference,
above all, to one’s standing as an intellectual being. If
I am to believe the newspapers, there are title-bearing men and women
in England who, had they an assured income of five-and-twenty, shillings
per week, would have no right to call themselves poor, for their intellectual
needs are those of a stable-boy or scullery wench. Give me the
same income and I can live, but I am poor indeed.</p>
<p>You tell me that money cannot buy the things most precious.
Your commonplace proves that you have never known the lack of it.
When I think of all the sorrow and the barrenness that has been wrought
in my life by want of a few more pounds per annum than I was able to
earn, I stand aghast at money’s significance. What kindly
joys have I lost, those simple forms of happiness to which every heart
has claim, because of poverty! Meetings with those I loved made
impossible year after year; sadness, misunderstanding, nay, cruel alienation,
arising from inability to do the things I wished, and which I might
have done had a little money helped me; endless instances of homely
pleasure and contentment curtailed or forbidden by narrow means.
I have lost friends merely through the constraints of my position; friends
I might have made have remained strangers to me; solitude of the bitter
kind, the solitude which is enforced at times when mind or heart longs
for companionship, often cursed my life solely because I was poor.
I think it would scarce be an exaggeration to say that there is no moral
good which has not to be paid for in coin of the realm.</p>
<p>“Poverty,” said Johnson again, “is so great an
evil, and pregnant with so much temptation, so much misery, that I cannot
but earnestly enjoin you to avoid it.”</p>
<p>For my own part, I needed no injunction to that effort of avoidance.
Many a London garret knows how I struggled with the unwelcome chamber-fellow.
I marvel she did not abide with me to the end; it is a sort of inconsequence
in Nature, and sometimes makes me vaguely uneasy through nights of broken
sleep.</p>
<h3>VI.</h3>
<p>How many more springs can I hope to see? A sanguine temper
would say ten or twelve; let me dare to hope humbly for five or six.
That is a great many. Five or six spring-times, welcomed joyously,
lovingly watched from the first celandine to the budding of the rose;
who shall dare to call it a stinted boon? Five or six times the
miracle of earth reclad, the vision of splendour and loveliness which
tongue has never yet described, set before my gazing. To think
of it is to fear that I ask too much.</p>
<h3>VII.</h3>
<p>“Homo animal querulum cupide suis incumbens miseriis.”
I wonder where that comes from. I found it once in Charron, quoted
without reference, and it has often been in my mind—a dreary truth,
well worded. At least, it was a truth for me during many a long
year. Life, I fancy, would very often be insupportable, but for
the luxury of self-compassion; in cases numberless, this it must be
that saves from suicide. For some there is great relief in talking
about their miseries, but such gossips lack the profound solace of misery
nursed in silent brooding. Happily, the trick with me has never
been retrospective; indeed, it was never, even with regard to instant
suffering, a habit so deeply rooted as to become a mastering vice.
I knew my own weakness when I yielded to it; I despised myself when
it brought me comfort; I could laugh scornfully, even “cupide
meis incumbens miseriis.” And now, thanks be to the unknown
power which rules us, my past has buried its dead. More than that;
I can accept with sober cheerfulness the necessity of all I lived through.
So it was to be; so it was. For this did Nature shape me; with
what purpose, I shall never know; but, in the sequence of things eternal,
this was my place.</p>
<p>Could I have achieved so much philosophy if, as I ever feared, the
closing years of my life had passed in helpless indigence? Should
I not have sunk into lowest depths of querulous self-pity, grovelling
there with eyes obstinately averted from the light above?</p>
<h3>VIII.</h3>
<p>The early coming of spring in this happy Devon gladdens my heart.
I think with chill discomfort of those parts of England where the primrose
shivers beneath a sky of threat rather than of solace. Honest
winter, snow-clad and with the frosted beard, I can welcome not uncordially;
but that long deferment of the calendar’s promise, that weeping
gloom of March and April, that bitter blast outraging the honour of
May—how often has it robbed me of heart and hope. Here,
scarce have I assured myself that the last leaf has fallen, scarce have
I watched the glistening of hoar-frost upon the evergreens, when a breath
from the west thrills me with anticipation of bud and bloom. Even
under this grey-billowing sky, which tells that February is still in
rule:—</p>
<blockquote><p>Mild winds shake the elder brake,<br/>
And the wandering herdsmen know<br/>
That the whitethorn soon will blow.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I have been thinking of those early years of mine in London, when
the seasons passed over me unobserved, when I seldom turned a glance
towards the heavens, and felt no hardship in the imprisonment of boundless
streets. It is strange now to remember that for some six or seven
years I never looked upon a meadow, never travelled even so far as to
the tree-bordered suburbs. I was battling for dear life; on most
days I could not feel certain that in a week’s time I should have
food and shelter. It would happen, to be sure, that in hot noons
of August my thoughts wandered to the sea; but so impossible was the
gratification of such desire that it never greatly troubled me.
At times, indeed, I seem all but to have forgotten that people went
away for holiday. In those poor parts of the town where I dwelt,
season made no perceptible difference; there were no luggage-laden cabs
to remind me of joyous journeys; the folk about me went daily to their
toil as usual, and so did I. I remember afternoons of languor,
when books were a weariness, and no thought could be squeezed out of
the drowsy brain; then would I betake myself to one of the parks, and
find refreshment without any enjoyable sense of change. Heavens,
how I laboured in those days! And how far I was from thinking
of myself as a subject for compassion! That came later, when my
health had begun to suffer from excess of toil, from bad air, bad food
and many miseries; then awoke the maddening desire for countryside and
sea-beach—and for other things yet more remote. But in the
years when I toiled hardest and underwent what now appear to me hideous
privations, of a truth I could not be said to suffer at all. I
did not suffer, for I had no sense of weakness. My health was
proof against everything, and my energies defied all malice of circumstance.
With however little encouragement, I had infinite hope. Sound
sleep (often in places I now dread to think of) sent me fresh to the
battle each morning, my breakfast, sometimes, no more than a slice of
bread and a cup of water. As human happiness goes, I am not sure
that I was not then happy.</p>
<p>Most men who go through a hard time in their youth are supported
by companionship. London has no <i>pays latin</i>, but hungry
beginners in literature have generally their suitable comrades, garreteers
in the Tottenham Court Road district, or in unredeemed Chelsea; they
make their little <i>vie de Bohème</i>, and are consciously proud
of it. Of my position, the peculiarity was that I never belonged
to any cluster; I shrank from casual acquaintance, and, through the
grim years, had but one friend with whom I held converse. It was
never my instinct to look for help, to seek favour for advancement;
whatever step I gained was gained by my own strength. Even as
I disregarded favour so did I scorn advice; no counsel would I ever
take but that of my own brain and heart. More than once I was
driven by necessity to beg from strangers the means of earning bread,
and this of all my experiences was the bitterest; yet I think I should
have found it worse still to incur a debt to some friend or comrade.
The truth is that I have never learnt to regard myself as a “member
of society.” For me, there have always been two entities—myself
and the world, and the normal relation between these two has been hostile.
Am I not still a lonely man, as far as ever from forming part of the
social order?</p>
<p>This, of which I once was scornfully proud, seems to me now, if not
a calamity, something I would not choose if life were to live again.</p>
<h3>IX.</h3>
<p>For more than six years I trod the pavement, never stepping once
upon mother earth—for the parks are but pavement disguised with
a growth of grass. Then the worst was over. Say I the worst?
No, no; things far worse were to come; the struggle against starvation
has its cheery side when one is young and vigorous. But at all
events I had begun to earn a living; I held assurance of food and clothing
for half a year at a time; granted health, I might hope to draw my not
insufficient wages for many a twelvemonth. And they were the wages
of work done independently, when and where I would. I thought
with horror of lives spent in an office, with an employer to obey.
The glory of the career of letters was its freedom, its dignity!</p>
<p>The fact of the matter was, of course, that I served, not one master,
but a whole crowd of them. Independence, forsooth! If my
writing failed to please editor, publisher, public, where was my daily
bread? The greater my success, the more numerous my employers.
I was the slave of a multitude. By heaven’s grace I had
succeeded in pleasing (that is to say, in making myself a source of
profit to) certain persons who represented this vague throng; for the
time, they were gracious to me; but what justified me in the faith that
I should hold the ground I had gained? Could the position of any
toiling man be more precarious than mine? I tremble now as I think
of it, tremble as I should in watching some one who walked carelessly
on the edge of an abyss. I marvel at the recollection that for
a good score of years this pen and a scrap of paper clothed and fed
me and my household, kept me in physical comfort, held at bay all those
hostile forces of the world ranged against one who has no resource save
in his own right hand.</p>
<p>But I was thinking of the year which saw my first exodus from London.
On an irresistible impulse, I suddenly made up my mind to go into Devon,
a part of England I had never seen. At the end of March I escaped
from my grim lodgings, and, before I had time to reflect on the details
of my undertaking, I found myself sitting in sunshine at a spot very
near to where I now dwell—before me the green valley of the broadening
Exe and the pine-clad ridge of Haldon. That was one of the moments
of my life when I have tasted exquisite joy. My state of mind
was very strange. Though as boy and youth I had been familiar
with the country, had seen much of England’s beauties, it was
as though I found myself for the first time before a natural landscape.
Those years of London had obscured all my earlier life; I was like a
man town-born and bred, who scarce knows anything but street vistas.
The light, the air, had for me something of the supernatural—affected
me, indeed, only less than at a later time did the atmosphere of Italy.
It was glorious spring weather; a few white clouds floated amid the
blue, and the earth had an intoxicating fragrance. Then first
did I know myself for a sun-worshipper. How had I lived so long
without asking whether there was a sun in the heavens or not?
Under that radiant firmament, I could have thrown myself upon my knees
in adoration. As I walked, I found myself avoiding every strip
of shadow; were it but that of a birch trunk, I felt as if it robbed
me of the day’s delight. I went bare-headed, that the golden
beams might shed upon me their unstinted blessing. That day I
must have walked some thirty miles, yet I knew not fatigue. Could
I but have once more the strength which then supported me!</p>
<p>I had stepped into a new life. Between the man I had been and
that which I now became there was a very notable difference. In
a single day I had matured astonishingly; which means, no doubt, that
I suddenly entered into conscious enjoyment of powers and sensibilities
which had been developing unknown to me. To instance only one
point: till then I had cared very little about plants and flowers, but
now I found myself eagerly interested in every blossom, in every growth
of the wayside. As I walked I gathered a quantity of plants, promising
myself to buy a book on the morrow and identify them all. Nor
was it a passing humour; never since have I lost my pleasure in the
flowers of the field, and my desire to know them all. My ignorance
at the time of which I speak seems to me now very shameful; but I was
merely in the case of ordinary people, whether living in town or country.
How many could give the familiar name of half a dozen plants plucked
at random from beneath the hedge in springtime? To me the flowers
became symbolical of a great release, of a wonderful awakening.
My eyes had all at once been opened; till then I had walked in darkness,
yet knew it not.</p>
<p>Well do I remember the rambles of that springtide. I had a
lodging in one of those outer streets of Exeter which savour more of
country than of town, and every morning I set forth to make discoveries.
The weather could not have been more kindly; I felt the influences of
a climate I had never known; there was a balm in the air which soothed
no less than it exhilarated me. Now inland, now seaward, I followed
the windings of the Exe. One day I wandered in rich, warm valleys,
by orchards bursting into bloom, from farmhouse to farmhouse, each more
beautiful than the other, and from hamlet to hamlet bowered amid dark
evergreens; the next, I was on pine-clad heights, gazing over moorland
brown with last year’s heather, feeling upon my face a wind from
the white-flecked Channel. So intense was my delight in the beautiful
world about me that I forgot even myself; I enjoyed without retrospect
or forecast; I, the egoist in grain, forgot to scrutinize my own emotions,
or to trouble my happiness by comparison with others’ happier
fortune. It was a healthful time; it gave me a new lease of life,
and taught me—in so far as I was teachable—how to make use
of it.</p>
<h3>X.</h3>
<p>Mentally and physically, I must be much older than my years.
At three-and-fifty a man ought not to be brooding constantly on his
vanished youth. These days of spring which I should be enjoying
for their own sake, do but turn me to reminiscence, and my memories
are of the springs that were lost.</p>
<p>Some day I will go to London and revisit all the places where I housed
in the time of my greatest poverty. I have not seen them for a
quarter of a century or so. Not long ago, had any one asked me
how I felt about these memories, I should have said that there were
certain street names, certain mental images of obscure London, which
made me wretched as often as they came before me; but, in truth, it
is a very long time since I was moved to any sort of bitterness by that
retrospect of things hard and squalid. Now, owning all the misery
of it in comparison with what should have been, I find that part of
life interesting and pleasant to look back upon—greatly more so
than many subsequent times, when I lived amid decencies and had enough
to eat. Some day I will go to London, and spend a day or two amid
the dear old horrors. Some of the places, I know, have disappeared.
I see the winding way by which I went from Oxford Street, at the foot
of Tottenham Court Road, to Leicester Square, and, somewhere in the
labyrinth (I think of it as always foggy and gas-lit) was a shop which
had pies and puddings in the window, puddings and pies kept hot by steam
rising through perforated metal. How many a time have I stood
there, raging with hunger, unable to purchase even one pennyworth of
food! The shop and the street have long since vanished; does any
man remember them so feelingly as I? But I think most of my haunts
are still in existence: to tread again those pavements, to look at those
grimy doorways and purblind windows, would affect me strangely.</p>
<p>I see that alley hidden on the west side of Tottenham Court Road,
where, after living in a back bedroom on the top floor, I had to exchange
for the front cellar; there was a difference, if I remember rightly,
of sixpence a week, and sixpence, in those days, was a very great consideration—why,
it meant a couple of meals. (I once <i>found</i> sixpence in the
street, and had an exultation which is vivid in me at this moment.)
The front cellar was stone-floored; its furniture was a table, a chair,
a wash-stand, and a bed; the window, which of course had never been
cleaned since it was put in, received light through a flat grating in
the alley above. Here I lived; here <i>I wrote</i>. Yes,
“literary work” was done at that filthy deal table, on which,
by the bye, lay my Homer, my Shakespeare, and the few other books I
then possessed. At night, as I lay in bed, I used to hear the
tramp, tramp of a <i>posse</i> of policemen who passed along the alley
on their way to relieve guard; their heavy feet sometimes sounded on
the grating above my window.</p>
<p>I recall a tragi-comical incident of life at the British Museum.
Once, on going down into the lavatory to wash my hands, I became aware
of a notice newly set up above the row of basins. It ran somehow
thus: “Readers are requested to bear in mind that these basins
are to be used only for casual ablutions.” Oh, the significance
of that inscription! Had I not myself, more than once, been glad
to use this soap and water more largely than the sense of the authorities
contemplated? And there were poor fellows working under the great
dome whose need, in this respect, was greater than mine. I laughed
heartily at the notice, but it meant so much.</p>
<p>Some of my abodes I have utterly forgotten; for one reason or another,
I was always moving—an easy matter when all my possessions lay
in one small trunk. Sometimes the people of the house were intolerable.
In those days I was not fastidious, and I seldom had any but the slightest
intercourse with those who dwelt under the same roof, yet it happened
now and then that I was driven away by human proximity which passed
my endurance. In other cases I had to flee from pestilential conditions.
How I escaped mortal illness in some of those places (miserably fed
as I always was, and always over-working myself) is a great mystery.
The worst that befell me was a slight attack of diphtheria—traceable,
I imagine, to the existence of a dust-bin <i>under the staircase</i>.
When I spoke of the matter to my landlady, she was at first astonished,
then wrathful, and my departure was expedited with many insults.</p>
<p>On the whole, however, I had nothing much to complain of except my
poverty. You cannot expect great comfort in London for four-and-sixpence
a week—the most I ever could pay for a “furnished room with
attendance” in those days of pretty stern apprenticeship.
And I was easily satisfied; I wanted only a little walled space in which
I could seclude myself, free from external annoyance. Certain
comforts of civilized life I ceased even to regret; a stair-carpet I
regarded as rather extravagant, and a carpet on the floor of my room
was luxury undreamt of. My sleep was sound; I have passed nights
of dreamless repose on beds which it would now make my bones ache only
to look at. A door that locked, a fire in winter, a pipe of tobacco—these
were things essential; and, granted these, I have been often richly
contented in the squalidest garret. One such lodging is often
in my memory; it was at Islington, not far from the City Road; my window
looked upon the Regent’s Canal. As often as I think of it,
I recall what was perhaps the worst London fog I ever knew; for three
successive days, at least, my lamp had to be kept burning; when I looked
through the window, I saw, at moments, a few blurred lights in the street
beyond the Canal, but for the most part nothing but a yellowish darkness,
which caused the glass to reflect the firelight and my own face.
Did I feel miserable? Not a bit of it. The enveloping gloom
seemed to make my chimney-corner only the more cosy. I had coals,
oil, tobacco in sufficient quantity; I had a book to read; I had work
which interested me; so I went forth only to get my meals at a City
Road coffee-shop, and hastened back to the fireside. Oh, my ambitions,
my hopes! How surprised and indignant I should have felt had I
known of any one who pitied me!</p>
<p>Nature took revenge now and then. In winter time I had fierce
sore throats, sometimes accompanied by long and savage headaches.
Doctoring, of course, never occurred to me; I just locked my door, and,
if I felt very bad indeed, went to bed—to lie there, without food
or drink, till I was able to look after myself again. I could
never ask from a landlady anything which was not in our bond, and only
once or twice did I receive spontaneous offer of help. Oh, it
is wonderful to think of all that youth can endure! What a poor
feeble wretch I now seem to myself, when I remember thirty years ago!</p>
<h3>XI.</h3>
<p>Would I live it over again, that life of the garret and the cellar?
Not with the assurance of fifty years’ contentment such as I now
enjoy to follow upon it! With man’s infinitely pathetic
power of resignation, one sees the thing on its better side, forgets
all the worst of it, makes out a case for the resolute optimist.
Oh, but the waste of energy, of zeal, of youth! In another mood,
I could shed tears over that spectacle of rare vitality condemned to
sordid strife. The pity of it! And—if our conscience
mean anything at all—the bitter wrong!</p>
<p>Without seeking for Utopia, think what a man’s youth might
be. I suppose not one in every thousand uses half the possibilities
of natural joy and delightful effort which lie in those years between
seventeen and seven-and-twenty. All but all men have to look back
upon beginnings of life deformed and discoloured by necessity, accident,
wantonness. If a young man avoid the grosser pitfalls, if he keep
his eye fixed steadily on what is called the main chance, if, without
flagrant selfishness, he prudently subdue every interest to his own
(by “interest” understanding only material good), he is
putting his youth to profit, he is an exemplar and a subject of pride.
I doubt whether, in our civilization, any other ideal is easy of pursuit
by the youngster face to face with life. It is the only course
altogether safe. Yet compare it with what might be, if men respected
manhood, if human reason were at the service of human happiness.
Some few there are who can look back upon a boyhood of natural delights,
followed by a decade or so of fine energies honourably put to use, blended
therewith, perhaps, a memory of joy so exquisite that it tunes all life
unto the end; they are almost as rare as poets. The vast majority
think not of their youth at all, or, glancing backward, are unconscious
of lost opportunity, unaware of degradation suffered. Only by
contrast with this thick-witted multitude can I pride myself upon my
youth of endurance and of combat. I had a goal before me, and
not the goal of the average man. Even when pinched with hunger,
I did not abandon my purposes, which were of the mind. But contrast
that starved lad in his slum lodging with any fair conception of intelligent
and zealous youth, and one feels that a dose of swift poison would have
been the right remedy for such squalid ills.</p>
<h3>XII.</h3>
<p>As often as I survey my bookshelves I am reminded of Lamb’s
“ragged veterans.” Not that all my volumes came from
the second-hand stall; many of them were neat enough in new covers,
some were even stately in fragrant bindings, when they passed into my
hands. But so often have I removed, so rough has been the treatment
of my little library at each change of place, and, to tell the truth,
so little care have I given to its well-being at normal times (for in
all practical matters I am idle and inept), that even the comeliest
of my books show the results of unfair usage. More than one has
been foully injured by a great nail driven into a packing-case—this
but the extreme instance of the wrongs they have undergone. Now
that I have leisure and peace of mind, I find myself growing more careful—an
illustration of the great truth that virtue is made easy by circumstance.
But I confess that, so long as a volume hold together, I am not much
troubled as to its outer appearance.</p>
<p>I know men who say they had as lief read any book in a library copy
as in one from their own shelf. To me that is unintelligible.
For one thing, I know every book of mine by its <i>scent</i>, and I
have but to put my nose between the pages to be reminded of all sorts
of things. My Gibbon, for example, my well-bound eight-volume
Milman edition, which I have read and read and read again for more than
thirty years—never do I open it but the scent of the noble page
restores to me all the exultant happiness of that moment when I received
it as a prize. Or my Shakespeare, the great Cambridge Shakespeare—it
has an odour which carries me yet further back in life; for these volumes
belonged to my father, and before I was old enough to read them with
understanding, it was often permitted me, as a treat, to take down one
of them from the bookcase, and reverently to turn the leaves.
The volumes smell exactly as they did in that old time, and what a strange
tenderness comes upon me when I hold one of them in hand. For
that reason I do not often read Shakespeare in this edition. My
eyes being good as ever, I take the Globe volume, which I bought in
days when such a purchase was something more than an extravagance; wherefore
I regard the book with that peculiar affection which results from sacrifice.</p>
<p>Sacrifice—in no drawing-room sense of the word. Dozens
of my books were purchased with money which ought to have been spent
upon what are called the necessaries of life. Many a time I have
stood before a stall, or a bookseller’s window, torn by conflict
of intellectual desire and bodily need. At the very hour of dinner,
when my stomach clamoured for food, I have been stopped by sight of
a volume so long coveted, and marked at so advantageous a price, that
I <i>could</i> not let it go; yet to buy it meant pangs of famine.
My Heyne’s <i>Tibullus</i> was grasped at such a moment.
It lay on the stall of the old book-shop in Goodge Street—a stall
where now and then one found an excellent thing among quantities of
rubbish. Sixpence was the price—sixpence! At that
time I used to eat my mid-day meal (of course my dinner) at a coffee-shop
in Oxford Street, one of the real old coffee-shops, such as now, I suppose,
can hardly be found. Sixpence was all I had—yes, all I had
in the world; it would purchase a plate of meat and vegetables.
But I did not dare to hope that the <i>Tibullus</i> would wait until
the morrow, when a certain small sum fell due to me. I paced the
pavement, fingering the coppers in my pocket, eyeing the stall, two
appetites at combat within me. The book was bought and I went
home with it, and as I made a dinner of bread and butter I gloated over
the pages.</p>
<p>In this <i>Tibullus</i> I found pencilled on the last page: “Perlegi,
Oct. 4, 1792.” Who was that possessor of the book, nearly
a hundred years ago? There was no other inscription. I like
to imagine some poor scholar, poor and eager as I myself, who bought
the volume with drops of his blood, and enjoyed the reading of it even
as I did. How much <i>that</i> was I could not easily say.
Gentle-hearted Tibullus!—of whom there remains to us a poet’s
portrait more delightful, I think, than anything of the kind in Roman
literature.</p>
<blockquote><p>An tacitum silvas inter reptare salubres,<br/>
Curantem quidquid dignum sapiente bonoque est?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>So with many another book on the thronged shelves. To take
them down is to recall, how vividly, a struggle and a triumph.
In those days money represented nothing to me, nothing I cared to think
about, but the acquisition of books. There were books of which
I had passionate need, books more necessary to me than bodily nourishment.
I could see them, of course, at the British Museum, but that was not
at all the same thing as having and holding them, my own property, on
my own shelf. Now and then I have bought a volume of the raggedest
and wretchedest aspect, dishonoured with foolish scribbling, torn, blotted—no
matter, I liked better to read out of that than out of a copy that was
not mine. But I was guilty at times of mere self-indulgence; a
book tempted me, a book which was not one of those for which I really
craved, a luxury which prudence might bid me forego. As, for instance,
my <i>Jung-Stilling</i>. It caught my eye in Holywell Street;
the name was familiar to me in <i>Wahrheit und Dichtung</i>, and curiosity
grew as I glanced over the pages. But that day I resisted; in
truth, I could not afford the eighteen-pence, which means that just
then I was poor indeed. Twice again did I pass, each time assuring
myself that <i>Jung-Stilling</i> had found no purchaser. There
came a day when I was in funds. I see myself hastening to Holywell
Street (in those days my habitual pace was five miles an hour), I see
the little grey old man with whom I transacted my business—what
was his name?—the bookseller who had been, I believe, a Catholic
priest, and still had a certain priestly dignity about him. He
took the volume, opened it, mused for a moment, then, with a glance
at me, said, as if thinking aloud: “Yes, I wish I had time to
read it.”</p>
<p>Sometimes I added the labour of a porter to my fasting endured for
the sake of books. At the little shop near Portland Road Station
I came upon a first edition of Gibbon, the price an absurdity—I
think it was a shilling a volume. To possess those clean-paged
quartos I would have sold my coat. As it happened, I had not money
enough with me, but sufficient at home. I was living at Islington.
Having spoken with the bookseller, I walked home, took the cash, walked
back again, and—carried the tomes from the west end of Euston
Road to a street in Islington far beyond the <i>Angel</i>. I did
it in two journeys—this being the only time in my life when I
thought of Gibbon in avoirdupois. Twice—three times, reckoning
the walk for the money—did I descend Euston Road and climb Pentonville
on that occasion. Of the season and the weather I have no recollection;
my joy in the purchase I had made drove out every other thought.
Except, indeed, of the weight. I had infinite energy, but not
much muscular strength, and the end of the last journey saw me upon
a chair, perspiring, flaccid, aching—exultant!</p>
<p>The well-to-do person would hear this story with astonishment.
Why did I not get the bookseller to send me the volumes? Or, if
I could not wait, was there no omnibus along that London highway?
How could I make the well-to-do person understand that I did not feel
able to afford, that day, one penny more than I had spent on the book?
No, no, such labour-saving expenditure did not come within my scope;
whatever I enjoyed I earned it, literally, by the sweat of my brow.
In those days I hardly knew what it was to travel by omnibus.
I have walked London streets for twelve and fifteen hours together without
ever a thought of saving my legs, or my time, by paying for waftage.
Being poor as poor can be, there were certain things I had to renounce,
and this was one of them.</p>
<p>Years after, I sold my first edition of Gibbon for even less than
it cost me; it went with a great many other fine books in folio and
quarto, which I could not drag about with me in my constant removals;
the man who bought them spoke of them as “tomb-stones.”
Why has Gibbon no market value? Often has my heart ached with
regret for those quartos. The joy of reading the Decline and Fall
in that fine type! The page was appropriate to the dignity of
the subject; the mere sight of it tuned one’s mind. I suppose
I could easily get another copy now; but it would not be to me what
that other was, with its memory of dust and toil.</p>
<h3>XIII.</h3>
<p>There must be several men of spirit and experiences akin to mine
who remember that little book-shop opposite Portland Road Station.
It had a peculiar character; the books were of a solid kind—chiefly
theology and classics—and for the most part those old editions
which are called worthless, which have no bibliopolic value, and have
been supplanted for practical use by modern issues. The bookseller
was very much a gentleman, and this singular fact, together with the
extremely low prices at which his volumes were marked, sometimes inclined
me to think that he kept the shop for mere love of letters. Things
in my eyes inestimable I have purchased there for a few pence, and I
don’t think I ever gave more than a shilling for any volume.
As I once had the opportunity of perceiving, a young man fresh from
class-rooms could only look with wondering contempt on the antiquated
stuff which it rejoiced me to gather from that kindly stall, or from
the richer shelves within. My <i>Cicero’s Letters</i> for
instance: podgy volumes in parchment, with all the notes of Graevius,
Gronovius, and I know not how many other old scholars. Pooh!
Hopelessly out of date. But I could never feel that. I have
a deep affection for Graevius and Gronovius and the rest, and if I knew
as much as they did, I should be well satisfied to rest under the young
man’s disdain. The zeal of learning is never out of date;
the example—were there no more—burns before one as a sacred
fire, for ever unquenchable. In what modern editor shall I find
such love and enthusiasm as glows in the annotations of old scholars?</p>
<p>Even the best editions of our day have so much of the mere school-book;
you feel so often that the man does not regard his author as literature,
but simply as text. Pedant for pedant, the old is better than
the new.</p>
<h3>XIV.</h3>
<p>To-day’s newspaper contains a yard or so of reading about a
spring horse-race. The sight of it fills me with loathing.
It brings to my mind that placard I saw at a station in Surrey a year
or two ago, advertising certain races in the neighbourhood. Here
is the poster, as I copied it into my note-book:</p>
<blockquote><p>“Engaged by the Executive to ensure order and comfort
to the public attending this meeting:—</p>
<p>14 detectives (racing),<br/>
15 detectives (Scotland Yard),<br/>
7 police inspectors,<br/>
9 police sergeants,<br/>
76 police, and a supernumerary contingent of specially selected men
from the Army Reserve and the Corps of Commissionaires.</p>
<p>The above force will be employed solely for the purpose of maintaining
order and excluding bad characters, etc. They will have the assistance
also of a strong force of the Surrey Constabulary.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I remember, once, when I let fall a remark on the subject of horse-racing
among friends chatting together, I was voted “morose.”
Is it really morose to object to public gatherings which their own promoters
declare to be dangerous for all decent folk? Every one knows that
horse-racing is carried on mainly for the delight and profit of fools,
ruffians, and thieves. That intelligent men allow themselves to
take part in the affair, and defend their conduct by declaring that
their presence “maintains the character of a sport essentially
noble,” merely shows that intelligence can easily enough divest
itself of sense and decency.</p>
<h3>XV.</h3>
<p>Midway in my long walk yesterday, I lunched at a wayside inn.
On the table lay a copy of a popular magazine. Glancing over this
miscellany, I found an article, by a woman, on “Lion Hunting,”
and in this article I came upon a passage which seemed worth copying.</p>
<p>“As I woke my husband, the lion—which was then about
forty yards off—charged straight towards us, and with my .303
I hit him full in the chest, as we afterwards discovered, tearing his
windpipe to pieces and breaking his spine. He charged a second
time, and the next shot hit him through the shoulder, tearing his heart
to ribbons.”</p>
<p>It would interest me to look upon this heroine of gun and pen.
She is presumably quite a young woman; probably, when at home, a graceful
figure in drawing-rooms. I should like to hear her talk, to exchange
thoughts with her. She would give one a very good idea of the
matron of old Rome who had her seat in the amphitheatre. Many
of those ladies, in private life, must have been bright and gracious,
high-bred and full of agreeable sentiment; they talked of art and of
letters; they could drop a tear over Lesbia’s sparrow; at the
same time, they were connoisseurs in torn windpipes, shattered spines
and viscera rent open. It is not likely that many of them would
have cared to turn their own hands to butchery, and, for the matter
of that, I must suppose that our Lion Huntress of the popular magazine
is rather an exceptional dame; but no doubt she and the Roman ladies
would get on very well together, finding only a few superficial differences.
The fact that her gory reminiscences are welcomed by an editor with
the popular taste in view is perhaps more significant than appears either
to editor or public. Were this lady to write a novel (the chances
are she will) it would have the true note of modern vigour. Of
course her style has been formed by her favourite reading; more than
probably, her ways of thinking and feeling owe much to the same source.
If not so already, this will soon, I daresay, be the typical Englishwoman.
Certainly, there is “no nonsense about her.” Such
women should breed a remarkable race.</p>
<p>I left the inn in rather a turbid humour. Moving homeward by
a new way, I presently found myself on the side of a little valley,
in which lay a farm and an orchard. The apple trees were in full
bloom, and, as I stood gazing, the sun, which had all that day been
niggard of its beams, burst forth gloriously. For what I then
saw, I have no words; I can but dream of the still loveliness of that
blossomed valley. Near me, a bee was humming; not far away, a
cuckoo called; from the pasture of the farm below came a bleating of
lambs.</p>
<h3>XVI.</h3>
<p>I am no friend of the people. As a force, by which the tenor
of the time is conditioned, they inspire me with distrust, with fear;
as a visible multitude, they make me shrink aloof, and often move me
to abhorrence. For the greater part of my life, the people signified
to me the London crowd, and no phrase of temperate meaning would utter
my thoughts of them under that aspect. The people as country-folk
are little known to me; such glimpses as I have had of them do not invite
to nearer acquaintance. Every instinct of my being is anti-democratic,
and I dread to think of what our England may become when Demos rules
irresistibly.</p>
<p>Right or wrong, this is my temper. But he who should argue
from it that I am intolerant of all persons belonging to a lower social
rank than my own would go far astray. Nothing is more rooted in
my mind than the vast distinction between the individual and the class.
Take a man by himself, and there is generally some reason to be found
in him, some disposition for good; mass him with his fellows in the
social organism, and ten to one he becomes a blatant creature, without
a thought of his own, ready for any evil to which contagion prompts
him. It is because nations tend to stupidity and baseness that
mankind moves so slowly; it is because individuals have a capacity for
better things that it moves at all.</p>
<p>In my youth, looking at this man and that, I marvelled that humanity
had made so little progress. Now, looking at men in the multitude,
I marvel that they have advanced so far.</p>
<p>Foolishly arrogant as I was, I used to judge the worth of a person
by his intellectual power and attainment. I could see no good
where there was no logic, no charm where there was no learning.
Now I think that one has to distinguish between two forms of intelligence,
that of the brain, and that of the heart, and I have come to regard
the second as by far the more important. I guard myself against
saying that intelligence does not matter; the fool is ever as noxious
as he is wearisome. But assuredly the best people I have known
were saved from folly not by the intellect but by the heart. They
come before me, and I see them greatly ignorant, strongly prejudiced,
capable of the absurdest mis-reasoning; yet their faces shine with the
supreme virtues, kindness, sweetness, modesty, generosity. Possessing
these qualities, they at the same time understand how to use them; they
have the intelligence of the heart.</p>
<p>This poor woman who labours for me in my house is even such a one.
From the first I thought her an unusually good servant; after three
years of acquaintance, I find her one of the few women I have known
who merit the term of excellent. She can read and write—that
is all. More instruction would, I am sure, have harmed her, for
it would have confused her natural motives, without supplying any clear
ray of mental guidance. She is fulfilling the offices for which
she was born, and that with a grace of contentment, a joy of conscientiousness,
which puts her high among civilized beings. Her delight is in
order and in peace; what greater praise can be given to any of the children
of men?</p>
<p>The other day she told me a story of the days gone by. Her
mother, at the age of twelve, went into domestic service; but on what
conditions, think you? The girl’s father, an honest labouring
man, <i>paid</i> the person whose house she entered one shilling a week
for her instruction in the duties she wished to undertake. What
a grinning stare would come to the face of any labourer nowadays, who
should be asked to do the like! I no longer wonder that my housekeeper
so little resembles the average of her kind.</p>
<h3>XVII.</h3>
<p>A day of almost continuous rain, yet for me a day of delight.
I had breakfasted, and was poring over the map of Devon (how I love
a good map!) to trace an expedition that I have in view, when a knock
came at my door, and Mrs. M. bore in a great brown-paper parcel, which
I saw at a glance must contain books. The order was sent to London
a few days ago; I had not expected to have my books so soon. With
throbbing heart I set the parcel on a clear table; eyed it whilst I
mended the fire; then took my pen-knife, and gravely, deliberately,
though with hand that trembled, began to unpack.</p>
<p>It is a joy to go through booksellers’ catalogues, ticking
here and there a possible purchase. Formerly, when I could seldom
spare money, I kept catalogues as much as possible out of sight; now
I savour them page by page, and make a pleasant virtue of the discretion
I must needs impose upon myself. But greater still is the happiness
of unpacking volumes which one has bought without seeing them.
I am no hunter of rarities; I care nothing for first editions and for
tall copies; what I buy is literature, food for the soul of man.
The first glimpse of bindings when the inmost protective wrapper has
been folded back! The first scent of <i>books</i>! The first
gleam of a gilded title! Here is a work the name of which has
been known to me for half a lifetime, but which I never yet saw; I take
it reverently in my hand, gently I open it; my eyes are dim with excitement
as I glance over chapter-headings, and anticipate the treat which awaits
me. Who, more than I, has taken to heart that sentence of the
<i>Imitatio</i>—“In omnibus requiem quaesivi, et nusquam
inveni nisi in angulo cum libro”?</p>
<p>I had in me the making of a scholar. With leisure and tranquillity
of mind, I should have amassed learning. Within the walls of a
college, I should have lived so happily, so harmlessly, my imagination
ever busy with the old world. In the introduction to his History
of France, Michelet says: “J’ai passé à côté
du monde, et j’ai pris l’histoire pour la vie.”
That, as I can see now, was my true ideal; through all my battlings
and miseries I have always lived more in the past than in the present.
At the time when I was literally starving in London, when it seemed
impossible that I should ever gain a living by my pen, how many days
have I spent at the British Museum, reading as disinterestedly as if
I had been without a care! It astounds me to remember that, having
breakfasted on dry bread, and carrying in my pocket another piece of
bread to serve for dinner, I settled myself at a desk in the great Reading-Room
with books before me which by no possibility could be a source of immediate
profit. At such a time, I worked through German tomes on Ancient
Philosophy. At such a time, I read Appuleius and Lucian, Petronius
and the Greek Anthology, Diogenes Laertius and—heaven knows what!
My hunger was forgotten; the garret to which I must return to pass the
night never perturbed my thoughts. On the whole, it seems to me
something to be rather proud of; I smile approvingly at that thin, white-faced
youth. Me? My very self? No, no! He has been
dead these thirty years.</p>
<p>Scholarship in the high sense was denied me, and now it is too late.
Yet here am I gloating over Pausanias, and promising myself to read
every word of him. Who that has any tincture of old letters would
not like to read Pausanias, instead of mere quotations from him and
references to him? Here are the volumes of Dahn’s <i>Die
Könige der Germanen</i>: who would not like to know all he can
about the Teutonic conquerors of Rome? And so on, and so on.
To the end I shall be reading—and forgetting. Ah, that’s
the worst of it! Had I at command all the knowledge I have at
any time possessed, I might call myself a learned man. Nothing
surely is so bad for the memory as long-enduring worry, agitation, fear.
I cannot preserve more than a few fragments of what I read, yet read
I shall, persistently, rejoicingly. Would I gather erudition for
a future life? Indeed, it no longer troubles me that I forget.
I have the happiness of the passing moment, and what more can mortal
ask?</p>
<h3>XVIII.</h3>
<p>Is it I, Henry Ryecroft, who, after a night of untroubled rest, rise
unhurriedly, dress with the deliberation of an oldish man, and go downstairs
happy in the thought that I can sit reading, quietly reading, all day
long? Is it I, Henry Ryecroft, the harassed toiler of so many
a long year?</p>
<p>I dare not think of those I have left behind me, there in the ink-stained
world. It would make me miserable, and to what purpose?
Yet, having once looked that way, think of them I must. Oh, you
heavy-laden, who at this hour sit down to the cursed travail of the
pen; writing, not because there is something in your mind, in your heart,
which must needs be uttered, but because the pen is the only tool you
can handle, your only means of earning bread! Year after year
the number of you is multiplied; you crowd the doors of publishers and
editors, hustling, grappling, exchanging maledictions. Oh, sorry
spectacle, grotesque and heart-breaking!</p>
<p>Innumerable are the men and women now writing for bread, who have
not the least chance of finding in such work a permanent livelihood.
They took to writing because they knew not what else to do, or because
the literary calling tempted them by its independence and its dazzling
prizes. They will hang on to the squalid profession, their earnings
eked out by begging and borrowing, until it is too late for them to
do anything else—and then? With a lifetime of dread experience
behind me, I say that he who encourages any young man or woman to look
for his living to “literature,” commits no less than a crime.
If my voice had any authority, I would cry this truth aloud wherever
men could hear. Hateful as is the struggle for life in every form,
this rough-and-tumble of the literary arena seems to me sordid and degrading
beyond all others. Oh, your prices per thousand words! Oh,
your paragraphings and your interviewings! And oh, the black despair
that awaits those down-trodden in the fray.</p>
<p>Last midsummer I received a circular from a typewriting person, soliciting
my custom; some one who had somehow got hold of my name, and fancied
me to be still in purgatory. This person wrote: “If you
should be in need of any extra assistance in the pressure of your Christmas
work, I hope,” etc.</p>
<p>How otherwise could one write if addressing a shopkeeper? “The
pressure of your Christmas work”! Nay, I am too sick to
laugh.</p>
<h3>XIX.</h3>
<p>Some one, I see, is lifting up his sweet voice in praise of Conscription.
It is only at long intervals that one reads this kind of thing in our
reviews or newspapers, and I am happy in believing that most English
people are affected by it even as I am, with the sickness of dread and
of disgust. That the thing is impossible in England, who would
venture to say? Every one who can think at all sees how slight
are our safeguards against that barbaric force in man which the privileged
races have so slowly and painfully brought into check. Democracy
is full of menace to all the finer hopes of civilization, and the revival,
in not unnatural companionship with it, of monarchic power based on
militarism, makes the prospect dubious enough. There has but to
arise some Lord of Slaughter, and the nations will be tearing at each
other’s throats. Let England be imperilled, and Englishmen
will fight; in such extremity there is no choice. But what a dreary
change must come upon our islanders if, without instant danger, they
bend beneath the curse of universal soldiering! I like to think
that they will guard the liberty of their manhood even beyond the point
of prudence.</p>
<p>A lettered German, speaking to me once of his year of military service,
told me that, had it lasted but a month or two longer, he must have
sought release in suicide. I know very well that my own courage
would not have borne me to the end of the twelvemonth; humiliation,
resentment, loathing, would have goaded me to madness. At school
we used to be “drilled” in the playground once a week; I
have but to think of it, even after forty years, and there comes back
upon me that tremor of passionate misery which, at the time, often made
me ill. The senseless routine of mechanic exercise was in itself
all but unendurable to me; I hated the standing in line, the thrusting-out
of arms and legs at a signal, the thud of feet stamping in constrained
unison. The loss of individuality seemed to me sheer disgrace.
And when, as often happened, the drill-sergeant rebuked me for some
inefficiency as I stood in line, when he addressed me as “Number
Seven!” I burned with shame and rage. I was no longer
a human being; I had become part of a machine, and my name was “Number
Seven.” It used to astonish me when I had a neighbour who
went through the drill with amusement, with zealous energy; I would
gaze at the boy, and ask myself how it was possible that he and I should
feel so differently. To be sure, nearly all my schoolfellows either
enjoyed the thing, or at all events went through it with indifference;
they made friends with the sergeant, and some were proud of walking
with him “out of bounds.” Left, right! Left,
right! For my own part, I think I have never hated man as I hated
that broad-shouldered, hard-visaged, brassy-voiced fellow. Every
word he spoke to me, I felt as an insult. Seeing him in the distance,
I have turned and fled, to escape the necessity of saluting, and, still
more, a quiver of the nerves which affected me so painfully. If
ever a man did me harm, it was he; harm physical and moral. In
all seriousness I believe that something of the nervous instability
from which I have suffered since boyhood is traceable to those accursed
hours of drill, and I am very sure that I can date from the same wretched
moments a fierceness of personal pride which has been one of my most
troublesome characteristics. The disposition, of course, was there;
it should have been modified, not exacerbated.</p>
<p>In younger manhood it would have flattered me to think that I alone
on the school drill-ground had sensibility enough to suffer acutely.
Now I had much rather feel assured that many of my schoolfellows were
in the same mind of subdued revolt. Even of those who, boylike,
enjoyed their drill, scarce one or two, I trust, would have welcomed
in their prime of life the imposition of military servitude upon them
and their countrymen. From a certain point of view, it would be
better far that England should bleed under conquest than that she should
be saved by eager, or careless, acceptance of Conscription. That
view will not be held by the English people; but it would be a sorry
thing for England if the day came when no one of those who love her
harboured such a thought.</p>
<h3>XX.</h3>
<p>It has occurred to me that one might define Art as: an expression,
satisfying and abiding, of the zest of life. This is applicable
to every form of Art devised by man, for, in his creative moment, whether
he produce a great drama or carve a piece of foliage in wood, the artist
is moved and inspired by supreme enjoyment of some aspect of the world
about him; an enjoyment in itself keener than that experienced by another
man, and intensified, prolonged, by the power—which comes to him
we know not how—of recording in visible or audible form that emotion
of rare vitality. Art, in some degree, is within the scope of
every human being, were he but the ploughman who utters a few would-be
melodious notes, the mere outcome of health and strength, in the field
at sunrise; he sings, or tries to, prompted by an unusual gusto in being,
and the rude stave is all his own. Another was he, who also at
the plough, sang of the daisy, of the field-mouse, or shaped the rhythmic
tale of Tam o’ Shanter. Not only had life a zest for him
incalculably stronger and subtler than that which stirs the soul of
Hodge, but he uttered it in word and music such as go to the heart of
mankind, and hold a magic power for ages.</p>
<p>For some years there has been a great deal of talk about Art in our
country. It began, I suspect, when the veritable artistic impulse
of the Victorian time had flagged, when the energy of a great time was
all but exhausted. Principles always become a matter of vehement
discussion when practice is at ebb. Not by taking thought does
one become an artist, or grow even an inch in that direction—which
is not at all the same as saying that he who <i>is</i> an artist cannot
profit by conscious effort. Goethe (the example so often urged
by imitators unlike him in every feature of humanity) took thought enough
about his Faust; but what of those youthtime lyrics, not the least precious
of his achievements, which were scribbled as fast as pen could go, thwartwise
on the paper, because he could not stop to set it straight? Dare
I pen, even for my own eyes, the venerable truth that an artist is born
and not made? It seems not superfluous, in times which have heard
disdainful criticism of Scott, on the ground that he had no artistic
conscience, that he scribbled without a thought of style, that he never
elaborated his scheme before beginning—as Flaubert, of course
you know, invariably did. Why, after all, has one not heard that
a certain William Shakespeare turned out his so-called works of art
with something like criminal carelessness? Is it not a fact that
a bungler named Cervantes was so little in earnest about his Art that,
having in one chapter described the stealing of Sancho’s donkey,
he presently, in mere forgetfulness, shows us Sancho riding on Dapple,
as if nothing had happened? Does not one Thackeray shamelessly
avow on the last page of a grossly “subjective” novel that
he had killed Lord Farintosh’s mother at one page and brought
her to life again at another? These sinners against Art are none
the less among the world’s supreme artists, for they <i>lived</i>,
in a sense, in a degree, unintelligible to these critics of theirs,
and their work is an expression, satisfying and abiding, of the zest
of life.</p>
<p>Some one, no doubt, hit upon this definition of mine long ago.
It doesn’t matter; is it the less original with me? Not
long since I should have fretted over the possibility, for my living
depended on an avoidance of even seeming plagiarism. Now I am
at one with Lord Foppington, and much disposed to take pleasure in the
natural sprouts of my own wit—without troubling whether the same
idea has occurred to others. Suppose me, in total ignorance of
Euclid, to have discovered even the simplest of his geometrical demonstrations,
shall I be crestfallen when some one draws attention to the book?
These natural sprouts are, after all, the best products of our life;
it is a mere accident that they may have no value in the world’s
market. One of my conscious efforts, in these days of freedom,
is to live intellectually for myself. Formerly, when in reading
I came upon anything that impressed or delighted me, down it went in
my note-book, for “use.” I could not read a striking
verse, or sentence of prose, without thinking of it as an apt quotation
in something I might write—one of the evil results of a literary
life. Now that I strive to repel this habit of thought, I find
myself asking: To what end, then, do I read and remember? Surely
as foolish a question as ever man put to himself. You read for
your own pleasure, for your solace and strengthening. Pleasure,
then, purely selfish? Solace which endures for an hour, and strengthening
for no combat? Ay, but I know, I know. With what heart should
I live here in my cottage, waiting for life’s end, were it not
for those hours of seeming idle reading?</p>
<p>I think sometimes, how good it were had I some one by me to listen
when I am tempted to read a passage aloud. Yes, but is there any
mortal in the whole world upon whom I could invariably depend for sympathetic
understanding?—nay, who would even generally be at one with me
in my appreciation. Such harmony of intelligences is the rarest
thing. All through life we long for it: the desire drives us,
like a demon, into waste places; too often ends by plunging us into
mud and morass. And, after all, we learn that the vision was illusory.
To every man is it decreed: thou shalt live alone. Happy they
who imagine that they have escaped the common lot; happy, whilst they
imagine it. Those to whom no such happiness has ever been granted
at least avoid the bitterest of disillusions. And is it not always
good to face a truth, however discomfortable? The mind which renounces,
once and for ever, a futile hope, has its compensation in ever-growing
calm.</p>
<h3>XXI.</h3>
<p>All about my garden to-day the birds are loud. To say that
the air is filled with their song gives no idea of the ceaseless piping,
whistling, trilling, which at moments rings to heaven in a triumphant
unison, a wild accord. Now and then I notice one of the smaller
songsters who seems to strain his throat in a madly joyous endeavour
to out-carol all the rest. It is a chorus of praise such as none
other of earth’s children have the voice or the heart to utter.
As I listen, I am carried away by its glorious rapture; my being melts
in the tenderness of an impassioned joy; my eyes are dim with I know
not what profound humility.</p>
<h3>XXII.</h3>
<p>Were one to look at the literary journals only, and thereafter judge
of the time, it would be easy to persuade oneself that civilization
had indeed made great and solid progress, and that the world stood at
a very hopeful stage of enlightenment. Week after week, I glance
over these pages of crowded advertisement; I see a great many publishing-houses
zealously active in putting forth every kind of book, new and old; I
see names innumerable of workers in every branch of literature.
Much that is announced declares itself at once of merely ephemeral import,
or even of no import at all; but what masses of print which invite the
attention of thoughtful or studious folk! To the multitude is
offered a long succession of classic authors, in beautiful form, at
a minimum cost; never were such treasures so cheaply and so gracefully
set before all who can prize them. For the wealthy, there are
volumes magnificent; lordly editions; works of art whereon have been
lavished care and skill and expense incalculable. Here is exhibited
the learning of the whole world and of all the ages; be a man’s
study what it will, in these columns, at one time or another he shall
find that which appeals to him. Here are labours of the erudite,
exercised on every subject that falls within learning’s scope.
Science brings forth its newest discoveries in earth and heaven; it
speaks to the philosopher in his solitude, and to the crowd in the market-place.
Curious pursuits of the mind at leisure are represented in publications
numberless; trifles and oddities of intellectual savour; gatherings
from every byway of human interest. For other moods there are
the fabulists; to tell truth, they commonly hold the place of honour
in these varied lists. Who shall count them? Who shall calculate
their readers? Builders of verse are many; yet the observer will
note that contemporary poets have but an inconspicuous standing in this
index of the public taste. Travel, on the other hand, is largely
represented; the general appetite for information about lands remote
would appear to be only less keen than for the adventures of romance.</p>
<p>With these pages before one’s eyes, must one not needs believe
that things of the mind are a prime concern of our day? Who are
the purchasers of these volumes ever pouring from the press? How
is it possible for so great a commerce to flourish save as a consequence
of national eagerness in this intellectual domain? Surely one
must take for granted that throughout the land, in town and country,
private libraries are growing apace; that by the people at large a great
deal of time is devoted to reading; that literary ambition is one of
the commonest spurs to effort?</p>
<p>It is the truth. All this may be said of contemporary England.
But is it enough to set one’s mind at ease regarding the outlook
of our civilization?</p>
<p>Two things must be remembered. However considerable this literary
traffic, regarded by itself, it is relatively of small extent.
And, in the second place, literary activity is by no means an invariable
proof of that mental attitude which marks the truly civilized man.</p>
<p>Lay aside the “literary organ,” which appears once a
week, and take up the newspaper, which comes forth every day, morning
and evening. Here you get the true proportion of things.
Read your daily news-sheet—that which costs threepence or that
which costs a halfpenny—and muse upon the impression it leaves.
It may be that a few books are “noticed”; granting that
the “notice” is in any way noticeable, compare the space
it occupies with that devoted to the material interests of life: you
have a gauge of the real importance of intellectual endeavour to the
people at large. No, the public which reads, in any sense of the
word worth considering, is very, very small; the public which would
feel no lack if all book-printing ceased to-morrow, is enormous.
These announcements of learned works which strike one as so encouraging,
are addressed, as a matter of fact, to a few thousand persons, scattered
all over the English-speaking world. Many of the most valuable
books slowly achieve the sale of a few hundred copies. Gather
from all the ends of the British Empire the men and women who purchase
grave literature as a matter of course, who habitually seek it in public
libraries, in short who regard it as a necessity of life, and I am much
mistaken if they could not comfortably assemble in the Albert Hall.</p>
<p>But even granting this, is it not an obvious fact that our age tends
to the civilized habit of mind, as displayed in a love for intellectual
things? Was there ever a time which saw the literature of knowledge
and of the emotions so widely distributed? Does not the minority
of the truly intelligent exercise a vast and profound influence?
Does it not in truth lead the way, however slowly and irregularly the
multitude may follow?</p>
<p>I should like to believe it. When gloomy evidence is thrust
upon me, I often say to myself: Think of the frequency of the reasonable
man; think of him everywhere labouring to spread the light; how is it
possible that such efforts should be overborne by forces of blind brutality,
now that the human race has got so far?—Yes, yes; but this mortal
whom I caress as reasonable, as enlightened and enlightening, this author,
investigator, lecturer, or studious gentleman, to whose coat-tails I
cling, does he always represent justice and peace, sweetness of manners,
purity of life—all the things which makes for true civilization?
Here is a fallacy of bookish thought. Experience offers proof
on every hand that vigorous mental life may be but one side of a personality,
of which the other is moral barbarism. A man may be a fine archaeologist,
and yet have no sympathy with human ideals. The historian, the
biographer, even the poet, may be a money-market gambler, a social toady,
a clamorous Chauvinist, or an unscrupulous wire-puller. As for
“leaders of science,” what optimist will dare to proclaim
them on the side of the gentle virtues? And if one must needs
think in this way of those who stand forth, professed instructors and
inspirers, what of those who merely listen? The reading-public—oh,
the reading-public! Hardly will a prudent statistician venture
to declare that one in every score of those who actually read sterling
books do so with comprehension of their author. These dainty series
of noble and delightful works, which have so seemingly wide an acceptance,
think you they vouch for true appreciation in all who buy them?
Remember those who purchase to follow the fashion, to impose upon their
neighbour, or even to flatter themselves; think of those who wish to
make cheap presents, and those who are merely pleased by the outer aspect
of the volume. Above all, bear in mind that busy throng whose
zeal is according neither to knowledge nor to conviction, the host of
the half-educated, characteristic and peril of our time. They,
indeed, purchase and purchase largely. Heaven forbid that I should
not recognize the few among them whose bent of brain and of conscience
justifies their fervour; to such—the ten in ten thousand—be
all aid and brotherly solace! But the glib many, the perky mispronouncers
of titles and of authors’ names, the twanging murderers of rhythm,
the maulers of the uncut edge at sixpence extra, the ready-reckoners
of bibliopolic discount—am I to see in these a witness of my hope
for the century to come?</p>
<p>I am told that their semi-education will be integrated. We
are in a transition stage, between the bad old time when only a few
had academic privileges, and that happy future which will see all men
liberally instructed. Unfortunately for this argument, education
is a thing of which only the few are capable; teach as you will, only
a small percentage will profit by your most zealous energy. On
an ungenerous soil it is vain to look for rich crops. Your average
mortal will be your average mortal still: and if he grow conscious of
power, if he becomes vocal and self-assertive, if he get into his hands
all the material resources of the country, why, you have a state of
things such as at present looms menacingly before every Englishman blessed—or
cursed—with an unpopular spirit.</p>
<h3>XXIII.</h3>
<p>Every morning when I awake, I thank heaven for silence. This
is my orison. I remember the London days when sleep was broken
by clash and clang, by roar and shriek, and when my first sense on returning
to consciousness was hatred of the life about me. Noises of wood
and metal, clattering of wheels, banging of implements, jangling of
bells—all such things are bad enough, but worse still is the clamorous
human voice. Nothing on earth is more irritating to me than a
bellow or scream of idiot mirth, nothing more hateful than a shout or
yell of brutal anger. Were it possible, I would never again hear
the utterance of a human tongue, save from those few who are dear to
me.</p>
<p>Here, wake at what hour I may, early or late, I lie amid gracious
stillness. Perchance a horse’s hoof rings rhythmically upon
the road; perhaps a dog barks from a neighbour farm; it may be that
there comes the far, soft murmur of a train from the other side of Exe;
but these are almost the only sounds that could force themselves upon
my ear. A voice, at any time of the day, is the rarest thing.</p>
<p>But there is the rustle of branches in the morning breeze; there
is the music of a sunny shower against the window; there is the matin
song of birds. Several times lately I have lain wakeful when there
sounded the first note of the earliest lark; it makes me almost glad
of my restless nights. The only trouble that touches me in these
moments is the thought of my long life wasted amid the senseless noises
of man’s world. Year after year this spot has known the
same tranquillity; with ever so little of good fortune, with ever so
little wisdom, beyond what was granted me, I might have blessed my manhood
with calm, might have made for myself in later life a long retrospect
of bowered peace. As it is, I enjoy with something of sadness,
remembering that this melodious silence is but the prelude of that deeper
stillness which waits to enfold us all.</p>
<h3>XXIV.</h3>
<p>Morning after morning, of late, I have taken my walk in the same
direction, my purpose being to look at a plantation of young larches.
There is no lovelier colour on earth than that in which they are now
clad; it seems to refresh as well as gladden my eyes, and its influence
sinks deep into my heart. Too soon it will change; already I think
the first radiant verdure has begun to pass into summer’s soberness.
The larch has its moment of unmatched beauty—and well for him
whose chance permits him to enjoy it, spring after spring.</p>
<p>Could anything be more wonderful than the fact that here am I, day
by day, not only at leisure to walk forth and gaze at the larches, but
blessed with the tranquillity of mind needful for such enjoyment?
On any morning of spring sunshine, how many mortals find themselves
so much at peace that they are able to give themselves wholly to delight
in the glory of heaven and of earth? Is it the case with one man
in every fifty thousand? Consider what extraordinary kindness
of fate must tend upon one, that not a care, not a preoccupation, should
interfere with his contemplative thought for five or six days successively!
So rooted in the human mind (and so reasonably rooted) is the belief
in an Envious Power, that I ask myself whether I shall not have to pay,
by some disaster, for this period of sacred calm. For a week or
so I have been one of a small number, chosen out of the whole human
race by fate’s supreme benediction. It may be that this
comes to every one in turn; to most, it can only be once in a lifetime,
and so briefly. That my own lot seems so much better than that
of ordinary men, sometimes makes me fearful.</p>
<h3>XXV.</h3>
<p>Walking in a favourite lane to-day, I found it covered with shed
blossoms of the hawthorn. Creamy white, fragrant even in ruin,
lay scattered the glory of the May. It told me that spring is
over.</p>
<p>Have I enjoyed it as I should? Since the day that brought me
freedom, four times have I seen the year’s new birth, and always,
as the violet yielded to the rose, I have known a fear that I had not
sufficiently prized this boon of heaven whilst it was with me.
Many hours I have spent shut up among my books, when I might have been
in the meadows. Was the gain equivalent? Doubtfully, diffidently,
I hearken what the mind can plead.</p>
<p>I recall my moments of delight, the recognition of each flower that
unfolded, the surprise of budding branches clothed in a night with green.
The first snowy gleam upon the blackthorn did not escape me. By
its familiar bank, I watched for the earliest primrose, and in its copse
I found the anemone. Meadows shining with buttercups, hollows
sunned with the marsh marigold held me long at gaze. I saw the
sallow glistening with its cones of silvery fur, and splendid with dust
of gold. These common things touch me with more of admiration
and of wonder each time I behold them. They are once more gone.
As I turn to summer, a misgiving mingles with my joy.</p>
<h2>SUMMER</h2>
<h3>I.</h3>
<p>To-day, as I was reading in the garden, a waft of summer perfume—some
hidden link of association in what I read—I know not what it may
have been—took me back to school-boy holidays; I recovered with
strange intensity that lightsome mood of long release from tasks, of
going away to the seaside, which is one of childhood’s blessings.
I was in the train; no rushing express, such as bears you great distances;
the sober train which goes to no place of importance, which lets you
see the white steam of the engine float and fall upon a meadow ere you
pass. Thanks to a good and wise father, we youngsters saw nothing
of seaside places where crowds assemble; I am speaking, too, of a time
more than forty years ago, when it was still possible to find on the
coasts of northern England, east or west, spots known only to those
who loved the shore for its beauty and its solitude. At every
station the train stopped; little stations, decked with beds of flowers,
smelling warm in the sunshine where country-folk got in with baskets,
and talked in an unfamiliar dialect, an English which to us sounded
almost like a foreign tongue. Then the first glimpse of the sea;
the excitement of noting whether tide was high or low—stretches
of sand and weedy pools, or halcyon wavelets frothing at their furthest
reach, under the sea-banks starred with convolvulus. Of a sudden,
<i>our</i> station!</p>
<p>Ah, that taste of the brine on a child’s lips! Nowadays,
I can take holiday when I will, and go whithersoever it pleases me;
but that salt kiss of the sea air I shall never know again. My
senses are dulled; I cannot get so near to Nature; I have a sorry dread
of her clouds, her winds, and must walk with tedious circumspection
where once I ran and leapt exultingly. Were it possible, but for
one half-hour, to plunge and bask in the sunny surf, to roll on the
silvery sand-hills, to leap from rock to rock on shining sea-ferns,
laughing if I slipped into the shallows among starfish and anemones!
I am much older in body than in mind; I can but look at what I once
enjoyed.</p>
<h3>II.</h3>
<p>I have been spending a week in Somerset. The right June weather
put me in the mind for rambling, and my thoughts turned to the Severn
Sea. I went to Glastonbury and Wells, and on to Cheddar, and so
to the shore of the Channel at Clevedon, remembering my holiday of fifteen
years ago, and too often losing myself in a contrast of the man I was
then and what I am now. Beautiful beyond all words of description
that nook of oldest England; but that I feared the moist and misty winter
climate, I should have chosen some spot below the Mendips for my home
and resting-place. Unspeakable the charm to my ear of those old
names; exquisite the quiet of those little towns, lost amid tilth and
pasture, untouched as yet by the fury of modern life, their ancient
sanctuaries guarded, as it were, by noble trees and hedges overrun with
flowers. In all England there is no sweeter and more varied prospect
than that from the hill of the Holy Thorn at Glastonbury; in all England
there is no lovelier musing place than the leafy walk beside the Palace
Moat at Wells. As I think of the golden hours I spent there, a
passion to which I can give no name takes hold upon me; my heart trembles
with an indefinable ecstasy.</p>
<p>There was a time of my life when I was consumed with a desire for
foreign travel; an impatience of everything familiar fretted me through
all the changing year. If I had not at length found the opportunity
to escape, if I had not seen the landscapes for which my soul longed,
I think I must have moped to death. Few men, assuredly, have enjoyed
such wanderings more than I, and few men revive them in memory with
a richer delight or deeper longing. But—whatever temptation
comes to me in mellow autumn, when I think of the grape and of the olive—I
do not believe I shall ever again cross the sea. What remains
to me of life and of energy is far too little for the enjoyment of all
I know, and all I wish to know, of this dear island.</p>
<p>As a child I used to sleep in a room hung round with prints after
English landscape painters—those steel engravings so common half
a century ago, which bore the legend, “From the picture in the
Vernon Gallery.” Far more than I knew at the time, these
pictures impressed me; I gazed and gazed at them, with that fixed attention
of a child which is half curiosity, half reverie, till every line of
them was fixed in my mind; at this moment I see the black-and-white
landscapes as if they were hanging on the wall before me, and I have
often thought that this early training of the imagination—for
such it was—has much to do with the passionate love of rural scenery
which lurked within me even when I did not recognize it, and which now
for many a year has been one of the emotions directing my life.
Perhaps, too, that early memory explains why I love a good black-and-white
print even more than a good painting. And—to draw yet another
inference—here may be a reason for the fact that, through my youth
and early manhood, I found more pleasure in Nature as represented by
art than in Nature herself. Even during that strange time when
hardships and passions held me captive far from any glimpse of the flowering
earth, I could be moved, and moved deeply, by a picture of the simplest
rustic scene. At rare moments, when a happy chance led me into
the National Gallery, I used to stand long before such pictures as “The
Valley Farm,” “The Cornfield,” “Mousehold Heath.”
In the murk confusion of my heart these visions of the world of peace
and beauty from which I was excluded—to which, indeed, I hardly
ever gave a thought—touched me to deep emotion. But it did
not need—nor does it now—the magic of a master to awake
that mood in me. Let me but come upon the poorest little woodcut,
the cheapest “process” illustration, representing a thatched
cottage, a lane, a field, and I hear that music begin to murmur.
It is a passion—Heaven be thanked—that grows with my advancing
years. The last thought of my brain as I lie dying will be that
of sunshine upon an English meadow.</p>
<h3>III.</h3>
<p>Sitting in my garden amid the evening scent of roses, I have read
through Walton’s <i>Life of Hooker</i>; could any place and time
have been more appropriate? Almost within sight is the tower of
Heavitree church—Heavitree, which was Hooker’s birthplace.
In other parts of England he must often have thought of these meadows
falling to the green valley of the Exe, and of the sun setting behind
the pines of Haldon. Hooker loved the country. Delightful
to me, and infinitely touching, is that request of his to be transferred
from London to a rural living—“where I can see God’s
blessing spring out of the earth.” And that glimpse of him
where he was found tending sheep, with a Horace in his hand. It
was in rural solitudes that he conceived the rhythm of mighty prose.
What music of the spheres sang to that poor, vixen-haunted, pimply-faced
man!</p>
<p>The last few pages I read by the light of the full moon, that of
afterglow having till then sufficed me. Oh, why has it not been
granted me in all my long years of pen-labour to write something small
and perfect, even as one of these lives of honest Izaak! Here
is literature, look you—not “literary work.”
Let me be thankful that I have the mind to enjoy it; not only to understand,
but to savour, its great goodness.</p>
<h3>IV.</h3>
<p>It is Sunday morning, and above earth’s beauty shines the purest,
softest sky this summer has yet gladdened us withal. My window
is thrown open; I see the sunny gleam upon garden leaves and flowers;
I hear the birds whose wont it is to sing to me; ever and anon the martins
that have their home beneath my eaves sweep past in silence. Church
bells have begun to chime; I know the music of their voices, near and
far.</p>
<p>There was a time when it delighted me to flash my satire on the English
Sunday; I could see nothing but antiquated foolishness and modern hypocrisy
in this weekly pause from labour and from bustle. Now I prize
it as an inestimable boon, and dread every encroachment upon its restful
stillness. Scoff as I might at “Sabbatarianism,” was
I not always glad when Sunday came? The bells of London churches
and chapels are not soothing to the ear, but when I remember their sound—even
that of the most aggressively pharisaic conventicle, with its one dire
clapper—I find it associated with a sense of repose, of liberty.
This day of the seven I granted to my better genius; work was put aside,
and, when Heaven permitted, trouble forgotten.</p>
<p>When out of England I have always missed this Sunday quietude, this
difference from ordinary days which seems to affect the very atmosphere.
It is not enough that people should go to church, that shops should
be closed and workyards silent; these holiday notes do not make a Sunday.
Think as one may of its significance, our Day of Rest has a peculiar
sanctity, felt, I imagine, in a more or less vague way, even by those
who wish to see the village lads at cricket and theatres open in the
town. The idea is surely as good a one as ever came to heavy-laden
mortals; let one whole day in every week be removed from the common
life of the world, lifted above common pleasures as above common cares.
With all the abuses of fanaticism, this thought remained rich in blessings;
Sunday has always brought large good to the generality, and to a chosen
number has been the very life of the soul, however heretically some
of them understood the words. If its ancient use perish from among
us, so much the worse for our country. And perish no doubt it
will; only here in rustic solitude can one forget the changes that have
already made the day less sacred to multitudes. With it will vanish
that habit of periodic calm, which, even when it has become so largely
void of conscious meaning, is, one may safely say, the best spiritual
boon ever bestowed upon a people. The most difficult of all things
to attain, the most difficult of all to preserve, the supreme benediction
of the noblest mind, this calm was once breathed over the whole land
as often as sounded the last stroke of weekly toil; on Saturday at even
began the quiet and the solace. With the decline of old faith,
Sunday cannot but lose its sanction, and no loss among the innumerable
that we are suffering will work so effectually for popular vulgarization.
What hope is there of guarding the moral beauty of the day when the
authority which set it apart is no longer recognized?—Imagine
a bank-holiday once a week!</p>
<h3>V.</h3>
<p>On Sunday I come down later than usual; I make a change of dress,
for it is fitting that the day of spiritual rest should lay aside the
livery of the laborious week. For me, indeed, there is no labour
at any time, but nevertheless does Sunday bring me repose. I share
in the common tranquillity; my thought escapes the workaday world more
completely than on other days.</p>
<p>It is not easy to see how this house of mine can make to itself a
Sunday quiet, for at all times it is well-nigh soundless; yet I find
a difference. My housekeeper comes into the room with her Sunday
smile; she is happier for the day, and the sight of her happiness gives
me pleasure. She speaks, if possible, in a softer voice; she wears
a garment which reminds me that there is only the lightest and cleanest
housework to be done. She will go to church, morning and evening,
and I know that she is better for it. During her absence I sometimes
look into rooms which on other days I never enter; it is merely to gladden
my eyes with the shining cleanliness, the perfect order, I am sure to
find in the good woman’s domain. But for that spotless and
sweet-smelling kitchen, what would it avail me to range my books and
hang my pictures? All the tranquillity of my life depends upon
the honest care of this woman who lives and works unseen. And
I am sure that the money I pay her is the least part of her reward.
She is such an old-fashioned person that the mere discharge of what
she deems a duty is in itself an end to her, and the work of her hands
in itself a satisfaction, a pride.</p>
<p>When a child, I was permitted to handle on Sunday certain books which
could not be exposed to the more careless usage of common days; volumes
finely illustrated, or the more handsome editions of familiar authors,
or works which, merely by their bulk, demanded special care. Happily,
these books were all of the higher rank in literature, and so there
came to be established in my mind an association between the day of
rest and names which are the greatest in verse and prose. Through
my life this habit has remained with me; I have always wished to spend
some part of the Sunday quiet with books which, at most times, it is
fatally easy to leave aside, one’s very knowledge and love of
them serving as an excuse for their neglect in favour of print which
has the attraction of newness. Homer and Virgil, Milton and Shakespeare;
not many Sundays have gone by without my opening one or other of these.
Not many Sundays? Nay, that is to exaggerate, as one has the habit
of doing. Let me say rather that, on many a rest-day I have found
mind and opportunity for such reading. Nowadays mind and opportunity
fail me never. I may take down my Homer or my Shakespeare when
I choose, but it is still on Sunday that I feel it most becoming to
seek the privilege of their companionship. For these great ones,
crowned with immortality, do not respond to him who approaches them
as though hurried by temporal care. There befits the garment of
solemn leisure, the thought attuned to peace. I open the volume
somewhat formally; is it not sacred, if the word have any meaning at
all? And, as I read, no interruption can befall me. The
note of a linnet, the humming of a bee, these are the sounds about my
sanctuary. The page scarce rustles as it turns.</p>
<h3>VI.</h3>
<p>Of how many dwellings can it be said that no word of anger is ever
heard beneath its roof, and that no unkindly feeling ever exists between
the inmates? Most men’s experience would seem to justify
them in declaring that, throughout the inhabited world, no such house
exists. I, knowing at all events of one, admit the possibility
that there may be more; yet I feel that it is to hazard a conjecture;
I cannot point with certainty to any other instance, nor in all my secular
life (I speak as one who has quitted the world) could I have named a
single example.</p>
<p>It is so difficult for human beings to live together; nay, it is
so difficult for them to associate, however transitorily, and even under
the most favourable conditions, without some shadow of mutual offence.
Consider the differences of task and of habit, the conflict of prejudices,
the divergence of opinions (though that is probably the same thing),
which quickly reveal themselves between any two persons brought into
more than casual contact, and think how much self-subdual is implicit
whenever, for more than an hour or two, they co-exist in seeming harmony.
Man is not made for peaceful intercourse with his fellows; he is by
nature self-assertive, commonly aggressive, always critical in a more
or less hostile spirit of any characteristic which seems strange to
him. That he is capable of profound affections merely modifies
here and there his natural contentiousness, and subdues its expression.
Even love, in the largest and purest sense of the word, is no safeguard
against perilous irritation and sensibilities inborn. And what
were the durability of love without the powerful alliance of habit?</p>
<p>Suppose yourself endowed with such power of hearing that all the
talk going on at any moment beneath the domestic roofs of any town became
clearly audible to you; the dominant note would be that of moods, tempers,
opinions at jar. Who but the most amiable dreamer can doubt it?
This, mind you, is not the same thing as saying that angry emotion is
the ruling force in human life; the facts of our civilization prove
the contrary. Just because, and only because, the natural spirit
of conflict finds such frequent scope, does human society hold together,
and, on the whole, present a pacific aspect. In the course of
ages (one would like to know how many) man has attained a remarkable
degree of self-control; dire experience has forced upon him the necessity
of compromise, and habit has inclined him (the individual) to prefer
a quiet, orderly life. But by instinct he is still a quarrelsome
creature, and he gives vent to the impulse as far as it is compatible
with his reasoned interests—often, to be sure, without regard
for that limit. The average man or woman is always at open discord
with some one; the great majority could not live without oft-recurrent
squabble. Speak in confidence with any one you like, and get him
to tell you how many cases of coldness, alienation, or downright enmity,
between friends and kinsfolk, his memory registers; the number will
be considerable, and what a vastly greater number of everyday “misunderstandings”
may be thence inferred! Verbal contention is, of course, commoner
among the poor and the vulgar than in the class of well-bred people
living at their ease, but I doubt whether the lower ranks of society
find personal association much more difficult than the refined minority
above them. High cultivation may help to self-command, but it
multiplies the chances of irritative contact. In mansion, as in
hovel, the strain of life is perpetually felt—between the married,
between parents and children, between relatives of every degree, between
employers and employed. They debate, they dispute, they wrangle,
they explode—then nerves are relieved, and they are ready to begin
over again. Quit the home and quarrelling is less obvious, but
it goes on all about one. What proportion of the letters delivered
any morning would be found to be written in displeasure, in petulance,
in wrath? The postbag shrieks insults or bursts with suppressed
malice. Is it not wonderful—nay, is it not the marvel of
marvels—that human life has reached such a high point of public
and private organization?</p>
<p>And gentle idealists utter their indignant wonder at the continuance
of war! Why, it passes the wit of man to explain how it is that
nations are ever at peace! For, if only by the rarest good fortune
do individuals associate harmoniously, there would seem to be much less
likelihood of mutual understanding and good-will between the peoples
of alien lands. As a matter of fact, no two nations are ever friendly,
in the sense of truly liking each other; with the reciprocal criticism
of countries there always mingles a sentiment of animosity. The
original meaning of <i>hostis</i> is merely stranger, and a stranger
who is likewise a foreigner will only by curious exception fail to stir
antipathy in the average human being. Add to this that a great
number of persons in every country find their delight and their business
in exasperating international disrelish, and with what vestige of common
sense can one feel surprise that war is ceaselessly talked of, often
enough declared. In days gone by, distance and rarity of communication
assured peace between many realms. Now that every country is in
proximity to every other, what need is there to elaborate explanations
of the distrust, the fear, the hatred, which are a perpetual theme of
journalists and statesmen? By approximation, all countries have
entered the sphere of natural quarrel. That they find plenty of
things to quarrel about is no cause for astonishment. A hundred
years hence there will be some possibility of perceiving whether international
relations are likely to obey the law which has acted with such beneficence
in the life of each civilized people; whether this country and that
will be content to ease their tempers with bloodless squabbling, subduing
the more violent promptings for the common good. Yet I suspect
that a century is a very short time to allow for even justifiable surmise
of such an outcome. If by any chance newspapers ceased to exist
. . .</p>
<p>Talk of war, and one gets involved in such utopian musings!</p>
<h3>VII.</h3>
<p>I have been reading one of those prognostic articles on international
politics which every now and then appear in the reviews. Why I
should so waste my time it would be hard to say; I suppose the fascination
of disgust and fear gets the better of me in a moment’s idleness.
This writer, who is horribly perspicacious and vigorous, demonstrates
the certainty of a great European war, and regards it with the peculiar
satisfaction excited by such things in a certain order of mind.
His phrases about “dire calamity” and so on mean nothing;
the whole tenor of his writing proves that he represents, and consciously,
one of the forces which go to bring war about; his part in the business
is a fluent irresponsibility, which casts scorn on all who reluct at
the “inevitable.” Persistent prophecy is a familiar
way of assuring the event.</p>
<p>But I will read no more such writing. This resolution I make
and will keep. Why set my nerves quivering with rage, and spoil
the calm of a whole day, when no good of any sort can come of it?
What is it to me if nations fall a-slaughtering each other? Let
the fools go to it! Why should they not please themselves?
Peace, after all, is the aspiration of the few; so it always; was, and
ever will be. But have done with the nauseous cant about “dire
calamity.” The leaders and the multitude hold no such view;
either they see in war a direct and tangible profit, or they are driven
to it, with heads down, by the brute that is in them. Let them
rend and be rent; let them paddle in blood and viscera till—if
that would ever happen—their stomachs turn. Let them blast
the cornfield and the orchard, fire the home. For all that, there
will yet be found some silent few, who go their way amid the still meadows,
who bend to the flower and watch the sunset; and these alone are worth
a thought.</p>
<h3>VIII.</h3>
<p>In this hot weather I like to walk at times amid the full glow of
the sun. Our island sun is never hot beyond endurance, and there
is a magnificence in the triumph of high summer which exalts one’s
mind. Among streets it is hard to bear, yet even there, for those
who have eyes to see it, the splendour of the sky lends beauty to things
in themselves mean or hideous. I remember an August bank-holiday,
when, having for some reason to walk all across London, I unexpectedly
found myself enjoying the strange desertion of great streets, and from
that passed to surprise in the sense of something beautiful, a charm
in the vulgar vista, in the dull architecture, which I had never known.
Deep and clear-marked shadows, such as one only sees on a few days of
summer, are in themselves very impressive, and become more so when they
fall upon highways devoid of folk. I remember observing, as something
new, the shape of familiar edifices, of spires, monuments. And
when at length I sat down, somewhere on the Embankment, it was rather
to gaze at leisure than to rest, for I felt no weariness, and the sun,
still pouring upon me its noontide radiance, seemed to fill my veins
with life.</p>
<p>That sense I shall never know again. For me Nature has comforts,
raptures, but no more invigoration. The sun keeps me alive, but
cannot, as in the old days, renew my being. I would fain learn
to enjoy without reflecting.</p>
<p>My walk in the golden hours leads me to a great horse-chestnut, whose
root offers a convenient seat in the shadow of its foliage. At
that resting-place I have no wide view before me, but what I see is
enough—a corner of waste land, over-flowered with poppies and
charlock, on the edge of a field of corn. The brilliant red and
yellow harmonize with the glory of the day. Near by, too, is a
hedge covered with great white blooms of the bindweed. My eyes
do not soon grow weary.</p>
<p>A little plant of which I am very fond is the rest-harrow.
When the sun is hot upon it, the flower gives forth a strangely aromatic
scent, very delightful to me. I know the cause of this peculiar
pleasure. The rest-harrow sometimes grows in sandy ground above
the seashore. In my childhood I have many a time lain in such
a spot under the glowing sky, and, though I scarce thought of it, perceived
the odour of the little rose-pink flower when it touched my face.
Now I have but to smell it, and those hours come back again. I
see the shore of Cumberland, running north to St. Bee’s Head;
on the sea horizon a faint shape which is the Isle of Man; inland, the
mountains, which for me at that time guarded a region of unknown wonder.
Ah, how long ago!</p>
<h3>IX.</h3>
<p>I read much less than I used to do; I think much more. Yet
what is the use of thought which can no longer serve to direct life?
Better, perhaps, to read and read incessantly, losing one’s futile
self in the activity of other minds.</p>
<p>This summer I have taken up no new book, but have renewed my acquaintance
with several old ones which I had not opened for many a year.
One or two have been books such as mature men rarely read at all—books
which it is one’s habit to “take as read”; to presume
sufficiently known to speak of, but never to open. Thus, one day
my hand fell upon the <i>Anabasis</i>, the little Oxford edition which
I used at school, with its boyish sign-manual on the fly-leaf, its blots
and underlinings and marginal scrawls. To my shame I possess no
other edition; yet this is a book one would like to have in beautiful
form. I opened it, I began to read—a ghost of boyhood stirring
in my heart—and from chapter to chapter was led on, until after
a few days I had read the whole.</p>
<p>I am glad this happened in the summer-time, I like to link childhood
with these latter days, and no better way could I have found than this
return to a school-book, which, even as a school-book, was my great
delight.</p>
<p>By some trick of memory I always associate school-boy work on the
classics with a sense of warm and sunny days; rain and gloom and a chilly
atmosphere must have been far the more frequent conditions, but these
things are forgotten. My old Liddell and Scott still serves me,
and if, in opening it, I bend close enough to catch the <i>scent</i>
of the leaves, I am back again at that day of boyhood (noted on the
fly-leaf by the hand of one long dead) when the book was new and I used
it for the first time. It was a day of summer, and perhaps there
fell upon the unfamiliar page, viewed with childish tremor, half apprehension
and half delight, a mellow sunshine, which was to linger for ever in
my mind.</p>
<p>But I am thinking of the <i>Anabasis</i>. Were this the sole
book existing in Greek, it would be abundantly worth while to learn
the language in order to read it. The <i>Anabasis</i> is an admirable
work of art, unique in its combination of concise and rapid narrative
with colour and picturesqueness. Herodotus wrote a prose epic,
in which the author’s personality is ever before us. Xenophon,
with curiosity and love of adventure which mark him of the same race,
but self-forgetful in the pursuit of a new artistic virtue, created
the historical romance. What a world of wonders in this little
book, all aglow with ambitions and conflicts, with marvels of strange
lands; full of perils and rescues, fresh with the air of mountain and
of sea! Think of it for a moment by the side of Caesar’s
Commentaries; not to compare things incomparable, but in order to appreciate
the perfect art which shines through Xenophon’s mastery of language,
his brevity achieving a result so different from that of the like characteristic
in the Roman writer. Caesar’s conciseness comes of strength
and pride; Xenophon’s, of a vivid imagination. Many a single
line of the <i>Anabasis</i> presents a picture which deeply stirs the
emotions. A good instance occurs in the fourth book, where a delightful
passage of unsurpassable narrative tells how the Greeks rewarded and
dismissed a guide who had led them through dangerous country.
The man himself was in peril of his life; laden with valuable things
which the soldiers had given him in their gratitude, he turned to make
his way through the hostile region. ’Επει
εσπερα εyενετο,
ωχετο της νυκτος.
“When evening came he took leave of us, and went his way by night.”
To my mind, words of wonderful suggestiveness. You see the wild,
eastern landscape, upon which the sun has set. There are the Hellenes,
safe for the moment on their long march, and there the mountain tribesman,
the serviceable barbarian, going away, alone, with his tempting guerdon,
into the hazards of the darkness.</p>
<p>Also in the fourth book, another picture moves one in another way.
Among the Carduchian Hills two men were seized, and information was
sought from them about the track to be followed. “One of
them would say nothing, and kept silence in spite of every threat; so,
in the presence of his companion, he was slain. Thereupon that
other made known the man’s reason for refusing to point out the
way; in the direction the Greeks must take there dwelt a daughter of
his, who was married.”</p>
<p>It would not be easy to express more pathos than is conveyed in these
few words. Xenophon himself, one may be sure, did not feel it
quite as we do, but he preserved the incident for its own sake, and
there, in a line or two, shines something of human love and sacrifice,
significant for all time.</p>
<h3>X.</h3>
<p>I sometimes think I will go and spend the sunny half of a twelvemonth
in wandering about the British Isles. There is so much of beauty
and interest that I have not seen, and I grudge to close my eyes on
this beloved home of ours, leaving any corner of it unvisited.
Often I wander in fancy over all the parts I know, and grow restless
with desire at familiar names which bring no picture to memory.
My array of county guide-books (they have always been irresistible to
me on the stalls) sets me roaming; the only dull pages in them are those
that treat of manufacturing towns. Yet I shall never start on
that pilgrimage. I am too old, too fixed in habits. I dislike
the railway; I dislike hotels. I should grow homesick for my library,
my garden, the view from my windows. And then—I have such
a fear of dying anywhere but under my own roof.</p>
<p>As a rule, it is better to revisit only in imagination the places
which have greatly charmed us, or which, in the retrospect, seem to
have done so. Seem to have charmed us, I say; for the memory we
form, after a certain lapse of time, of places where we lingered, often
bears but a faint resemblance to the impression received at the time;
what in truth may have been very moderate enjoyment, or enjoyment greatly
disturbed by inner or outer circumstances, shows in the distance as
a keen delight, or as deep, still happiness. On the other hand,
if memory creates no illusion, and the name of a certain place is associated
with one of the golden moments of life, it were rash to hope that another
visit would repeat the experience of a bygone day. For it was
not merely the sights that one beheld which were the cause of joy and
peace; however lovely the spot, however gracious the sky, these things
external would not have availed, but for contributory movements of mind
and heart and blood, the essentials of the man as then he was.</p>
<p>Whilst I was reading this afternoon my thoughts strayed, and I found
myself recalling a hillside in Suffolk, where, after a long walk I rested
drowsily one midsummer day twenty years ago. A great longing seized
me; I was tempted to set off at once, and find again that spot under
the high elm trees, where, as I smoked a delicious pipe, I heard about
me the crack, crack, crack of broom-pods bursting in the glorious heat
of the noontide sun. Had I acted upon the impulse, what chance
was there of my enjoying such another hour as that which my memory cherished?
No, no; it is not the <i>place</i> that I remember; it is the time of
life, the circumstances, the mood, which at that moment fell so happily
together. Can I dream that a pipe smoked on that same hillside,
under the same glowing sky, would taste as it then did, or bring me
the same solace? Would the turf be so soft beneath me? Would
the great elm-branches temper so delightfully the noontide rays beating
upon them? And, when the hour of rest was over, should I spring
to my feet as then I did, eager to put forth my strength again?
No, no; what I remember is just one moment of my earlier life, linked
by accident with that picture of the Suffolk landscape. The place
no longer exists; it never existed save for me. For it is the
mind which creates the world about us, and, even though we stand side
by side in the same meadow, my eyes will never see what is beheld by
yours, my heart will never stir to the emotions with which yours is
touched.</p>
<h3>XI.</h3>
<p>I awoke a little after four o’clock. There was sunlight
upon the blind, that pure gold of the earliest beam which always makes
me think of Dante’s angels. I had slept unusually well,
without a dream, and felt the blessing of rest through all my frame;
my head was clear, my pulse beat temperately. And, when I had
lain thus for a few minutes, asking myself what book I should reach
from the shelf that hangs near my pillow, there came upon me a desire
to rise and go forth into the early morning. On the moment I bestirred
myself. The drawing up of the blind, the opening of the window,
only increased my zeal, and I was soon in the garden, then out in the
road, walking light-heartedly I cared not whither.</p>
<p>How long is it since I went forth at the hour of summer sunrise?
It is one of the greatest pleasures, physical and mental, that any man
in moderate health can grant himself; yet hardly once in a year do mood
and circumstance combine to put it within one’s reach. The
habit of lying in bed hours after broad daylight is strange enough,
if one thinks of it; a habit entirely evil; one of the most foolish
changes made by modern system in the healthier life of the old time.
But that my energies are not equal to such great innovation, I would
begin going to bed at sunset and rising with the beam of day; ten to
one, it would vastly improve my health, and undoubtedly it would add
to the pleasures of my existence.</p>
<p>When travelling, I have now and then watched the sunrise, and always
with an exultation unlike anything produced in me by other aspects of
nature. I remember daybreak on the Mediterranean; the shapes of
islands growing in hue after hue of tenderest light, until they floated
amid a sea of glory. And among the mountains—that crowning
height, one moment a cold pallor, the next soft-glowing under the touch
of the rosy-fingered goddess. These are the things I shall never
see again; things, indeed, so perfect in memory that I should dread
to blur them by a newer experience. My senses are so much duller;
they do not show me what once they did.</p>
<p>How far away is that school-boy time, when I found a pleasure in
getting up and escaping from the dormitory whilst all the others were
still asleep. My purpose was innocent enough; I got up early only
to do my lessons. I can see the long school-room, lighted by the
early sun; I can smell the school-room odour—a blend of books
and slates and wall-maps and I know not what. It was a mental
peculiarity of mine that at five o’clock in the morning I could
apply myself with gusto to mathematics, a subject loathsome to me at
any other time of the day. Opening the book at some section which
was wont to scare me, I used to say to myself: “Come now, I’m
going to tackle this this morning! If other boys can understand
it, why shouldn’t I?” And in a measure I succeeded.
In a measure only; there was always a limit at which my powers failed
me, strive as I would.</p>
<p>In my garret-days it was seldom that I rose early: with the exception
of one year—or the greater part of a twelvemonth—during
which I was regularly up at half-past five for a special reason.
I had undertaken to “coach” a man for the London matriculation;
he was in business, and the only time he could conveniently give to
his studies was before breakfast. I, just then, had my lodgings
near Hampstead Road; my pupil lived at Knightsbridge; I engaged to be
with him every morning at half-past six, and the walk, at a brisk pace,
took me just about an hour. At that time I saw no severity in
the arrangement, and I was delighted to earn the modest fee which enabled
me to write all day long without fear of hunger; but one inconvenience
attached to it. I had no watch, and my only means of knowing the
time was to hear the striking of a clock in the neighbourhood.
As a rule, I awoke just when I should have done; the clock struck five,
and up I sprang. But occasionally—and this when the mornings
had grown dark—my punctual habit failed me; I would hear the clock
chime some fraction of the hour, and could not know whether I had awoke
too soon or slept too long. The horror of unpunctuality, which
has always been a craze with me, made it impossible to lie waiting;
more than once I dressed and went out into the street to discover as
best I could what time it was, and one such expedition, I well remember,
took place between two and three o’clock on a morning of foggy
rain.</p>
<p>It happened now and then that, on reaching the house at Knightsbridge,
I was informed that Mr. --- felt too tired to rise. This concerned
me little, for it meant no deduction of fee; I had the two hours’
walk, and was all the better for it. Then the appetite with which
I sat down to breakfast, whether I had done my coaching or not!
Bread and butter and coffee—such coffee!—made the meal,
and I ate like a navvy. I was in magnificent spirits. All
the way home I had been thinking of my day’s work, and the morning
brain, clarified and whipped to vigour by that brisk exercise, by that
wholesome hunger, wrought its best. The last mouthful swallowed,
I was seated at my writing-table; aye, and there I sat for seven or
eight hours, with a short munching interval, working as only few men
worked in all London, with pleasure, zeal, hope. . . .</p>
<p>Yes, yes, those were the good days. They did not last long;
before and after them were cares, miseries, endurance multiform.
I have always felt grateful to Mr. --- of Knightsbridge; he gave me
a year of health, and almost of peace.</p>
<h3>XII.</h3>
<p>A whole day’s walk yesterday with no plan; just a long ramble
of hour after hour, entirely enjoyable. It ended at Topsham, where
I sat on the little churchyard terrace, and watched the evening tide
come up the broad estuary. I have a great liking for Topsham,
and that churchyard, overlooking what is not quite sea, yet more than
river, is one of the most restful spots I know. Of course the
association with old Chaucer, who speaks of Topsham sailors, helps my
mood. I came home very tired; but I am not yet decrepit, and for
that I must be thankful.</p>
<p>The unspeakable blessedness of having a <i>home</i>! Much as
my imagination has dwelt upon it for thirty years, I never knew how
deep and exquisite a joy could lie in the assurance that one is <i>at
home</i> for ever. Again and again I come back upon this thought;
nothing but Death can oust me from my abiding place. And Death
I would fain learn to regard as a friend, who will but intensify the
peace I now relish.</p>
<p>When one is at home, how one’s affections grow about everything
in the neighbourhood! I always thought with fondness of this corner
of Devon, but what was that compared with the love which now strengthens
in me day by day! Beginning with my house, every stick and stone
of it is dear to me as my heart’s blood; I find myself laying
an affectionate hand on the door-post, giving a pat, as I go by, to
the garden gate. Every tree and shrub in the garden is my beloved
friend; I touch them, when need is, very tenderly, as though carelessness
might pain, or roughness injure them. If I pull up a weed in the
walk, I look at it with a certain sadness before throwing it away; it
belongs to my home.</p>
<p>And all the country round about. These villages, how delightful
are their names to my ear! I find myself reading with interest
all the local news in the Exeter paper. Not that I care about
the people; with barely one or two exceptions, the people are nothing
to me, and the less I see of them the better I am pleased. But
the <i>places</i> grow ever more dear to me. I like to know of
anything that has happened at Heavitree, or Brampford Speke, or Newton
St. Cyres. I begin to pride myself on knowing every road and lane,
every bridle path and foot-way for miles about. I like to learn
the names of farms and of fields. And all this because here is
my abiding place, because I am home for ever.</p>
<p>It seems to me that the very clouds that pass above my house are
more interesting and beautiful than clouds elsewhere.</p>
<p>And to think that at one time I called myself a socialist, communist,
anything you like of the revolutionary kind! Not for long, to
be sure, and I suspect that there was always something in me that scoffed
when my lips uttered such things. Why, no man living has a more
profound sense of property than I; no man ever lived, who was, in every
fibre, more vehemently an individualist.</p>
<h3>XIII.</h3>
<p>In this high summertide, I remember with a strange feeling that there
are people who, of their free choice, spend day and night in cities,
who throng to the gabble of drawing-rooms, make festival in public eating-houses,
sweat in the glare of the theatre. They call it life; they call
it enjoyment. Why, so it is, for them; they are so made.
The folly is mine, to wonder that they fulfil their destiny.</p>
<p>But with what deep and quiet thanksgiving do I remind myself that
never shall I mingle with that well-millinered and tailored herd!
Happily, I never saw much of them. Certain occasions I recall
when a supposed necessity took me into their dismal precincts; a sick
buzzing in the brain, a languor as of exhausted limbs, comes upon me
with the memory. The relief with which I stepped out into the
street again, when all was over! Dear to me then was poverty,
which for the moment seemed to make me a free man. Dear to me
was the labour at my desk, which, by comparison, enabled me to respect
myself.</p>
<p>Never again shall I shake hands with man or woman who is not in truth
my friend. Never again shall I go to see acquaintances with whom
I have no acquaintance. All men my brothers? Nay, thank
Heaven, that they are not! I will do harm, if I can help it, to
no one; I will wish good to all; but I will make no pretence of personal
kindliness where, in the nature of things, it cannot be felt.
I have grimaced a smile and pattered unmeaning words to many a person
whom I despised or from whom in heart I shrank; I did so because I had
not courage to do otherwise. For a man conscious of such weakness,
the best is to live apart from the world. Brave Samuel Johnson!
One such truth-teller is worth all the moralists and preachers who ever
laboured to humanise mankind. Had <i>he</i> withdrawn into solitude,
it would have been a national loss. Every one of his blunt, fearless
words had more value than a whole evangel on the lips of a timidly good
man. It is thus that the commonalty, however well clad, should
be treated. So seldom does the fool or the ruffian in broadcloth
hear his just designation; so seldom is the man found who has a right
to address him by it. By the bandying of insults we profit nothing;
there can be no useful rebuke which is exposed to a <i>tu quoque</i>.
But, as the world is, an honest and wise man should have a rough tongue.
Let him speak and spare not!</p>
<h3>XIV.</h3>
<p>Vituperation of the English climate is foolish. A better climate
does not exist—for healthy people; and it is always as regards
the average native in sound health that a climate must be judged.
Invalids have no right whatever to talk petulantly of the natural changes
of the sky; Nature has not <i>them</i> in view; let them (if they can)
seek exceptional conditions for their exceptional state, leaving behind
them many a million of sound, hearty men and women who take the seasons
as they come, and profit by each in turn. In its freedom from
extremes, in its common clemency, even in its caprice, which at the
worst time holds out hope, our island weather compares well with that
of other lands. Who enjoys the fine day of spring, summer, autumn,
or winter so much as an Englishman? His perpetual talk of the
weather is testimony to his keen relish for most of what it offers him;
in lands of blue monotony, even as where climatic conditions are plainly
evil, such talk does not go on. So, granting that we have bad
days not a few, that the east wind takes us by the throat, that the
mists get at our joints, that the sun hides his glory too often and
too long, it is plain that the result of all comes to good, that it
engenders a mood of zest under the most various aspects of heaven, keeps
an edge on our appetite for open-air life.</p>
<p>I, of course, am one of the weaklings who, in grumbling at the weather,
merely invite compassion. July, this year, is clouded and windy,
very cheerless even here in Devon; I fret and shiver and mutter to myself
something about southern skies. Pshaw! Were I the average
man of my years, I should be striding over Haldon, caring not a jot
for the heavy sky, finding a score of compensations for the lack of
sun. Can I not have patience? Do I not know that, some morning,
the east will open like a bursting bud into warmth and splendour, and
the azure depths above will have only the more solace for my starved
anatomy because of this protracted disappointment?</p>
<h3>XV.</h3>
<p>I have been at the seaside—enjoying it, yes, but in what a
doddering, senile sort of way! Is it I who used to drink the strong
wind like wine, who ran exultingly along the wet sands and leapt from
rock to rock, barefoot, on the slippery seaweed, who breasted the swelling
breaker, and shouted with joy as it buried me in gleaming foam?
At the seaside I knew no such thing as bad weather; there were but changes
of eager mood and full-blooded life. Now, if the breeze blow too
roughly, if there come a pelting shower, I must look for shelter, and
sit with my cloak about me. It is but a new reminder that I do
best to stay at home, travelling only in reminiscence.</p>
<p>At Weymouth I enjoyed a hearty laugh, one of the good things not
easy to get after middle age. There was a notice of steamboats
which ply along the coast, steamboats recommended to the public as being
“<i>replete with lavatories and a ladies’ saloon</i>.”
Think how many people read this without a chuckle!</p>
<h3>XVI.</h3>
<p>In the last ten years I have seen a good deal of English inns in
many parts of the country, and it astonishes me to find how bad they
are. Only once or twice have I chanced upon an inn (or, if you
like, hotel) where I enjoyed any sort of comfort. More often than
not, even the beds are unsatisfactory—either pretentiously huge
and choked with drapery, or hard and thinly accoutred. Furnishing
is uniformly hideous, and there is either no attempt at ornament (the
safest thing) or a villainous taste thrusts itself upon one at every
turn. The meals, in general, are coarse and poor in quality, and
served with gross slovenliness.</p>
<p>I have often heard it said that the touring cyclist has caused the
revival of wayside inns. It may be so, but the touring cyclist
seems to be very easily satisfied. Unless we are greatly deceived
by the old writers, an English inn used to be a delightful resort, abounding
in comfort, and supplied with the best of food; a place, too, where
one was sure of welcome at once hearty and courteous. The inns
of to-day, in country towns and villages, are not in that good old sense
inns at all; they are merely public-houses. The landlord’s
chief interest is the sale of liquor. Under his roof you may,
if you choose, eat and sleep, but what you are expected to do is to
drink. Yet, even for drinking, there is no decent accommodation.
You will find what is called a bar-parlour, a stuffy and dirty room,
with crazy chairs, where only the sodden dram-gulper could imagine himself
at ease. Should you wish to write a letter, only the worst pen
and the vilest ink is forthcoming; this, even in the “commercial
room” of many an inn which seems to depend upon the custom of
travelling tradesmen. Indeed, this whole business of innkeeping
is incredibly mismanaged. Most of all does the common ineptitude
or brutality enrage one when it has possession of an old and picturesque
house, such as reminds you of the best tradition, a house which might
be made as comfortable as house can be, a place of rest and mirth.</p>
<p>At a public-house you expect public-house manners, and nothing better
will meet you at most of the so-called inns or hotels. It surprises
me to think in how few instances I have found even the pretence of civility.
As a rule, the landlord and landlady are either contemptuously superior
or boorishly familiar; the waiters and chambermaids do their work with
an indifference which only softens to a condescending interest at the
moment of your departure, when, if the tip be thought insufficient,
a sneer or a muttered insult speeds you on your way. One inn I
remember, where, having to go in and out two or three times in a morning,
I always found the front door blocked by the portly forms of two women,
the landlady and the barmaid, who stood there chatting and surveying
the street. Coming from within the house, I had to call out a
request for passage; it was granted with all deliberation, and with
not a syllable of apology. This was the best “hotel”
in a Sussex market town.</p>
<p>And the food. Here, beyond doubt, there is grave degeneracy.
It is impossible to suppose that the old travellers by coach were contented
with entertainment such as one gets nowadays at the table of a country
hotel. The cooking is wont to be wretched; the quality of the
meat and vegetables worse than mediocre. What! Shall one
ask in vain at an English inn for an honest chop or steak? Again
and again has my appetite been frustrated with an offer of mere sinew
and scrag. At a hotel where the charge for lunch was five shillings,
I have been sickened with pulpy potatoes and stringy cabbage.
The very joint—ribs or sirloin, leg or shoulder—is commonly
a poor, underfed, sapless thing, scorched in an oven; and as for the
round of beef, it has as good as disappeared—probably because
it asks too much skill in the salting. Then again one’s
breakfast bacon; what intolerable stuff, smelling of saltpetre, has
been set before me when I paid the price of the best smoked Wiltshire!
It would be mere indulgence of the spirit of grumbling to talk about
poisonous tea and washy coffee; every one knows that these drinks cannot
be had at public tables; but what if there be real reason for discontent
with one’s pint of ale? Often, still, that draught from
the local brewery is sound and invigorating, but there are grievous
exceptions, and no doubt the tendency is here, as in other things—a
falling off, a carelessness, if not a calculating dishonesty.
I foresee the day when Englishmen will have forgotten how to brew beer;
when one’s only safety will lie in the draught imported from Munich.</p>
<h3>XVII.</h3>
<p>I was taking a meal once at a London restaurant—not one of
the great eating-places to which men most resort, but a small establishment
on the same model in a quiet neighbourhood—when there entered,
and sat down at the next table, a young man of the working class, whose
dress betokened holiday. A glance told me that he felt anything
but at ease; his mind misgave him as he looked about the long room and
at the table before him; and when a waiter came to offer him the card,
he stared blankly in sheepish confusion. Some strange windfall,
no doubt, had emboldened him to enter for the first time such a place
as this, and now that he was here, he heartily wished himself out in
the street again. However, aided by the waiter’s suggestions,
he gave an order for a beef-steak and vegetables. When the dish
was served, the poor fellow simply could not make a start upon it; he
was embarrassed by the display of knives and forks, by the arrangement
of the dishes, by the sauce bottles and the cruet-stand, above all,
no doubt, by the assembly of people not of his class, and the unwonted
experience of being waited upon by a man with a long shirt-front.
He grew red; he made the clumsiest and most futile efforts to transport
the meat to his plate; food was there before him, but, like a very Tantalus,
he was forbidden to enjoy it. Observing with all discretion, I
at length saw him pull out his pocket handkerchief, spread it on the
table, and, with a sudden effort, fork the meat off the dish into this
receptacle. The waiter, aware by this time of the customer’s
difficulty, came up and spoke a word to him. Abashed into anger,
the young man roughly asked what he had to pay. It ended in the
waiter’s bringing a newspaper, wherein he helped to wrap up meat
and vegetables. Money was flung down, and the victim of a mistaken
ambition hurriedly departed, to satisfy his hunger amid less unfamiliar
surroundings.</p>
<p>It was a striking and unpleasant illustration of social differences.
Could such a thing happen in any country but England? I doubt
it. The sufferer was of decent appearance, and, with ordinary
self-command, might have taken his meal in the restaurant like any one
else, quite unnoticed. But he belonged to a class which, among
all classes in the world, is distinguished by native clownishness and
by unpliability to novel circumstance. The English lower ranks
had need be marked by certain peculiar virtues to atone for their deficiencies
in other respects.</p>
<h3>XVIII.</h3>
<p>It is easy to understand that common judgment of foreigners regarding
the English people. Go about in England as a stranger, travel
by rail, live at hotels, see nothing but the broadly public aspect of
things, and the impression left upon you will be one of hard egoism,
of gruffness and sullenness; in a word, of everything that contrasts
most strongly with the ideal of social and civic life. And yet,
as a matter of fact, no nation possesses in so high a degree the social
and civic virtues. The unsociable Englishman, quotha? Why,
what country in the world can show such multifarious, vigorous and cordial
co-operation, in all ranks, but especially, of course, among the intelligent,
for ends which concern the common good? Unsociable! Why,
go where you will in England you can hardly find a man—nowadays,
indeed, scarce an educated woman—who does not belong to some alliance,
for study or sport, for municipal or national benefit, and who will
not be seen, in leisure time, doing his best as a social being.
Take the so-called sleepy market-town; it is bubbling with all manner
of associated activities, and these of the quite voluntary kind, forms
of zealously united effort such as are never dreamt of in the countries
supposed to be eminently “social.” Sociability does
not consist in a readiness to talk at large with the first comer.
It is not dependent upon natural grace and suavity; it is compatible,
indeed, with thoroughly awkward and all but brutal manners. The
English have never (at all events, for some two centuries past) inclined
to the purely ceremonial or mirthful forms of sociability; but as regards
every prime interest of the community—health and comfort, well-being
of body and of soul—their social instinct is supreme.</p>
<p>Yet it is so difficult to reconcile this indisputable fact with that
other fact, no less obvious, that your common Englishman seems to have
no geniality. From the one point of view, I admire and laud my
fellow countryman; from the other, I heartily dislike him and wish to
see as little of him as possible. One is wont to think of the
English as a genial folk. Have they lost in this respect?
Has the century of science and money-making sensibly affected the national
character? I think always of my experience at the English inn,
where it is impossible not to feel a brutal indifference to the humane
features of life; where food is bolted without attention, liquor swallowed
out of mere habit, where even good-natured accost is a thing so rare
as to be remarkable.</p>
<p>Two things have to be borne in mind: the extraordinary difference
of demeanour which exists between the refined and the vulgar English,
and the natural difficulty of an Englishman in revealing his true self
save under the most favourable circumstances.</p>
<p>So striking is the difference of manner between class and class that
the hasty observer might well imagine a corresponding and radical difference
of mind and character. In Russia, I suppose, the social extremities
are seen to be pretty far apart, but, with that possible exception,
I should think no European country can show such a gap as yawns to the
eye between the English gentleman and the English boor. The boor,
of course, is the multitude; the boor impresses himself upon the traveller.
When relieved from his presence, one can be just to him; one can remember
that his virtues—though elementary, and strictly in need of direction—are
the same, to a great extent, as those of the well-bred man. He
does not represent—though seeming to do so—a nation apart.
To understand this multitude, you must get below its insufferable manners,
and learn that very fine civic qualities can consist with a personal
bearing almost wholly repellent.</p>
<p>Then, as to the dogged reserve of the educated man, why, I have only
to look into myself. I, it is true, am not quite a representative
Englishman; my self-consciousness, my meditative habit of mind, rather
dim my national and social characteristics; but set me among a few specimens
of the multitude, and am I not at once aware of that instinctive antipathy,
that shrinking into myself, that something like unto scorn, of which
the Englishman is accused by foreigners who casually meet him?
Peculiar to me is the effort to overcome this first impulse—an
effort which often enough succeeds. If I know myself at all, I
am not an ungenial man; and yet I am quite sure that many people who
have known me casually would say that my fault is a lack of geniality.
To show my true self, I must be in the right mood and the right circumstances—which,
after all, is merely as much as saying that I am decidedly English.</p>
<h3>XIX.</h3>
<p>On my breakfast table there is a pot of honey. Not the manufactured
stuff sold under that name in shops, but honey of the hive, brought
to me by a neighbouring cottager whose bees often hum in my garden.
It gives, I confess, more pleasure to my eye than to my palate; but
I like to taste of it, because it is honey.</p>
<p>There is as much difference, said Johnson, between a lettered and
an unlettered man as between the living and the dead; and, in a way,
it was no extravagance. Think merely how one’s view of common
things is affected by literary association. What were honey to
me if I knew nothing of Hymettus and Hybla?—if my mind had no
stores of poetry, no memories of romance? Suppose me town-pent,
the name might bring with it some pleasantness of rustic odour; but
of what poor significance even that, if the country were to me mere
grass and corn and vegetables, as to the man who has never read nor
wished to read. For the Poet is indeed a Maker: above the world
of sense, trodden by hidebound humanity, he builds that world of his
own whereto is summoned the unfettered spirit. Why does it delight
me to see the bat flitting at dusk before my window, or to hear the
hoot of the owl when all the ways are dark? I might regard the
bat with disgust, and the owl either with vague superstition or not
heed it at all. But these have their place in the poet’s
world, and carry me above this idle present.</p>
<p>I once passed a night in a little market-town where I had arrived
tired and went to bed early. I slept forthwith, but was presently
awakened by I knew not what; in the darkness there sounded a sort of
music, and, as my brain cleared, I was aware of the soft chiming of
church bells. Why, what hour could it be? I struck a light
and looked at my watch. Midnight. Then a glow came over
me. “We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow!”
Never till then had <i>I</i> heard them. And the town in which
I slept was Evesham, but a few miles from Stratford-on-Avon. What
if those midnight bells had been to me but as any other, and I had reviled
them for breaking my sleep?—Johnson did not much exaggerate.</p>
<h3>XX.</h3>
<p>It is the second Jubilee. Bonfires blaze upon the hills, making
one think of the watchman on Agamemnon’s citadel. (It were
more germane to the matter to think of Queen Elizabeth and the Armada.)
Though wishing the uproar happily over, I can see the good in it as
well as another man. English monarchy, as we know it, is a triumph
of English common sense. Grant that men cannot do without an overlord;
how to make that over-lordship consist with the largest practical measure
of national and individual liberty? We, at all events, have for
a time solved the question. For a time only, of course; but consider
the history of Europe, and our jubilation is perhaps justified.</p>
<p>For sixty years has the British Republic held on its way under one
President. It is wide of the mark to object that other Republics,
which change their President more frequently, support the semblance
of over-lordship at considerably less cost to the people. Britons
are minded for the present that the Head of their State shall be called
King or Queen; the name is pleasant to them; it corresponds to a popular
sentiment, vaguely understood, but still operative, which is called
loyalty. The majority thinking thus, and the system being found
to work more than tolerably well, what purpose could be served by an
attempt at <i>novas res</i>? The nation is content to pay the
price; it is the nation’s affair. Moreover, who can feel
the least assurance that a change to one of the common forms of Republicanism
would be for the general advantage? Do we find that countries
which have made the experiment are so very much better off than our
own in point of stable, quiet government and of national welfare?
The theorist scoffs at forms which have survived their meaning, at privilege
which will bear no examination, at compromises which sound ludicrous,
at submissions which seem contemptible; but let him put forward his
practical scheme for making all men rational, consistent, just.
Englishmen, I imagine, are not endowed with these qualities in any extraordinary
degree. Their strength, politically speaking, lies in a recognition
of expediency, complemented by respect for the established fact.
One of the facts particularly clear to them is the suitability to their
minds, their tempers, their habits, of a system of polity which has
been established by the slow effort of generations within this sea-girt
realm. They have nothing to do with ideals: they never trouble
themselves to think about the Rights of Man. If you talk to them
(long enough) about the rights of the shopman, or the ploughman, or
the cat’s-meat-man, they will lend ear, and, when the facts of
any such case have been examined, they will find a way of dealing with
them. This characteristic of theirs they call Common Sense.
To them, all things considered, it has been of vast service; one may
even say that the rest of the world has profited by it not a little.
That Uncommon Sense might now and then have stood them even in better
stead is nothing to the point. The Englishman deals with things
as they are, and first and foremost accepts his own being.</p>
<p>This Jubilee declares a legitimate triumph of the average man.
Look back for threescore years, and who shall affect to doubt that the
time has been marked by many improvements in the material life of the
English people? Often have they been at loggerheads among themselves,
but they have never flown at each other’s throats, and from every
grave dispute has resulted some substantial gain. They are a cleaner
people and a more sober; in every class there is a diminution of brutality;
education—stand for what it may—has notably extended; certain
forms of tyranny have been abolished; certain forms of suffering, due
to heedlessness or ignorance, have been abated. True, these are
mere details; whether they indicate a solid advance in civilization
cannot yet be determined. But assuredly the average Briton has
cause to jubilate; for the progressive features of the epoch are such
as he can understand and approve, whereas the doubt which may be cast
upon its ethical complexion is for him either non-existent or unintelligible.
So let cressets flare into the night from all the hills! It is
no purchased exultation, no servile flattery. The People acclaims
itself, yet not without genuine gratitude and affection towards the
Representative of its glory and its power. The Constitutional
Compact has been well preserved. Review the record of kingdoms,
and say how often it has come to pass that sovereign and people rejoiced
together over bloodless victories.</p>
<h3>XXI.</h3>
<p>At an inn in the north I once heard three men talking at their breakfast
on the question of diet. They agreed that most people ate too
much meat, and one of them went so far as to declare that, for his part,
he rather preferred vegetables and fruit. “Why,” he
said, “will you believe me that I sometimes make a breakfast of
apples?” This announcement was received in silence; evidently
the two listeners didn’t quite know what to think of it.
Thereupon the speaker, in rather a blustering tone, cried out, “Yes,
I can make a very good breakfast on <i>two or three pounds of apples</i>.”</p>
<p>Wasn’t it amusing? And wasn’t it characteristic?
This honest Briton had gone too far in frankness. ’Tis all
very well to like vegetables and fruits up to a certain point; but to
breakfast on apples! His companions’ silence proved that
they were just a little ashamed of him; his confession savoured of poverty
or meanness; to right himself in their opinion, nothing better occurred
to the man than to protest that he ate apples, yes, but not merely one
or two; he ate them largely, <i>by the pound</i>! I laughed at
the fellow, but I thoroughly understood him; so would every Englishman;
for at the root of our being is a hatred of parsimony. This manifests
itself in all sorts of ludicrous or contemptible forms, but no less
is it the source of our finest qualities. An Englishman desires,
above all, to live largely; on that account he not only dreads, but
hates and despises, poverty. His virtues are those of the free-handed
and warm-hearted opulent man; his weaknesses come of the sense of inferiority
(intensely painful and humiliating) which attaches in his mind to one
who cannot spend and give; his vices, for the most part, originate in
loss of self-respect due to loss of secure position.</p>
<h3>XXII.</h3>
<p>For a nation of this temper, the movement towards democracy is fraught
with peculiar dangers. Profoundly aristocratic in his sympathies,
the Englishman has always seen in the patrician class not merely a social,
but a moral, superiority; the man of blue blood was to him a living
representative of those potencies and virtues which made his ideal of
the worthy life. Very significant is the cordial alliance from
old time between nobles and people; free, proud homage on one side answering
to gallant championship on the other; both classes working together
in the cause of liberty. However great the sacrifices of the common
folk for the maintenance of aristocratic power and splendour, they were
gladly made; this was the Englishman’s religion, his inborn <i>pietas</i>;
in the depths of the dullest soul moved a perception of the ethic meaning
attached to lordship. Your Lord was the privileged being endowed
by descent with generous instincts, and possessed of means to show them
forth in act. A poor noble was a contradiction in terms; if such
a person existed, he could only be spoken of with wondering sadness,
as though he were the victim of some freak of nature. The Lord
was Honourable, Right Honourable; his acts, his words virtually constituted
the code of honour whereby the nation lived.</p>
<p>In a new world, beyond the ocean, there grew up a new race, a scion
of England, which shaped its life without regard to the principle of
hereditary lordship; and in course of time this triumphant Republic
began to shake the ideals of the Motherland. Its civilization,
spite of superficial resemblances, is not English; let him who will
think it superior; all one cares to say is that it has already shown
in a broad picture the natural tendencies of English blood when emancipated
from the old cult. Easy to understand that some there are who
see nothing but evil in the influence of that vast commonwealth.
If it has done us good, assuredly the fact is not yet demonstrable.
In old England, democracy is a thing so alien to our traditions and
rooted sentiment that the line of its progress seems hitherto a mere
track of ruin. In the very word is something from which we shrink;
it seems to signify nothing less than a national apostasy, a denial
of the faith in which we won our glory. The democratic Englishman
is, by the laws of his own nature, in parlous case; he has lost the
ideal by which he guided his rude, prodigal, domineering instincts;
in place of the Right Honourable, born to noble things, he has set up
the mere Plebs, born, more likely than not, for all manner of baseness.
And, amid all his show of loud self-confidence, the man is haunted with
misgiving.</p>
<p>The task before us is no light one. Can we, whilst losing the
class, retain the idea it embodied? Can we English, ever so subject
to the material, liberate ourselves from that old association, yet guard
its meaning in the sphere of spiritual life? Can we, with eyes
which have ceased to look reverently on worn-out symbols, learn to select
from among the grey-coated multitude, and place in reverence even higher
him who “holds his patent of nobility straight from Almighty God”?
Upon that depends the future of England. In days gone by, our
very Snob bore testimony after his fashion to our scorn of meanness;
he at all events imagined himself to be imitating those who were incapable
of a sordid transaction, of a plebeian compliance. But the Snob,
one notes, is in the way of degeneracy; he has new exemplars; he speaks
a ruder language. Him, be sure, in one form or another, we shall
have always with us, and to observe his habits is to note the tenor
of the time. If he have at the back of his dim mind no living
ideal which lends his foolishness a generous significance, then indeed—<i>videant
consules</i>.</p>
<h3>XXIII.</h3>
<p>A visit from N-. He stayed with me two days, and I wish he
could have stayed a third. (Beyond the third day, I am not sure
that any man would be wholly welcome. My strength will bear but
a certain amount of conversation, even the pleasantest, and before long
I desire solitude, which is rest.)</p>
<p>The mere sight of N-, to say nothing of his talk, did me good.
If appearances can ever be trusted, there are few men who get more enjoyment
out of life. His hardships were never excessive; they did not
affect his health or touch his spirits; probably he is in every way
a better man for having—as he says—“gone through the
mill.” His recollection of the time when he had to work
hard for a five-pound note, and was not always sure of getting it, obviously
lends gusto to his present state of ease. I persuaded him to talk
about his successes, and to give me a glimpse of their meaning in solid
cash. Last Midsummer day, his receipts for the twelvemonth were
more than two thousand pounds. Nothing wonderful, of course, bearing
in mind what some men are making by their pen; but very good for a writer
who does not address the baser throng. Two thousand pounds in
a year! I gazed at him with wonder and admiration.</p>
<p>I have known very few prosperous men of letters; N--- represents
for me the best and brightest side of literary success. Say what
one will after a lifetime of disillusion, the author who earns largely
by honest and capable work is among the few enviable mortals.
Think of N---’s existence. No other man could do what he
is doing, and he does it with ease. Two, or at most three, hours’
work a day—and that by no means every day—suffices to him.
Like all who write, he has his unfruitful times, his mental worries,
his disappointments, but these bear no proportion to the hours of happy
and effective labour. Every time I see him he looks in better
health, for of late years he has taken much more exercise, and he is
often travelling. He is happy in his wife and children; the thought
of all the comforts and pleasures he is able to give them must be a
constant joy to him; were he to die, his family is safe from want.
He has friends and acquaintances as many as he desires; congenial folk
gather at his table; he is welcome in pleasant houses near and far;
his praise is upon the lips of all whose praise is worth having.
With all this, he has the good sense to avoid manifest dangers; he has
not abandoned his privacy, and he seems to be in no danger of being
spoilt by good fortune. His work is more to him than a means of
earning money; he talks about a book he has in hand almost as freshly
and keenly as in the old days, when his annual income was barely a couple
of hundred. I note, too, that his leisure is not swamped with
the publications of the day; he reads as many old books as new, and
keeps many of his early enthusiasms.</p>
<p>He is one of the men I heartily like. That he greatly cares
for me I do not suppose, but this has nothing to do with the matter;
enough that he likes my society well enough to make a special journey
down into Devon. I represent to him, of course, the days gone
by, and for their sake he will always feel an interest in me.
Being ten years my junior, he must naturally regard me as an old buffer;
I notice, indeed, that he is just a little too deferential at moments.
He feels a certain respect for some of my work, but thinks, I am sure,
that I ceased writing none too soon—which is very true.
If I had not been such a lucky fellow—if at this moment I were
still toiling for bread—it is probable that he and I would see
each other very seldom; for N--- has delicacy, and would shrink from
bringing his high-spirited affluence face to face with Grub Street squalor
and gloom; whilst I, on the other hand, should hate to think that he
kept up my acquaintance from a sense of decency. As it is we are
very good friends, quite unembarrassed, and—for a couple of days—really
enjoy the sight and hearing of each other. That I am able to give
him a comfortable bedroom, and set before him an eatable dinner, flatters
my pride. If I chose at any time to accept his hearty invitation,
I can do so without moral twinges.</p>
<p>Two thousand pounds! If, at N---’s age, I had achieved
that income, what would have been the result upon me? Nothing
but good, I know; but what form would the good have taken? Should
I have become a social man, a giver of dinners, a member of clubs?
Or should I merely have begun, ten years sooner, the life I am living
now? That is more likely.</p>
<p>In my twenties I used to say to myself: what a splendid thing it
will be <i>when</i> I am the possessor of a thousand pounds! Well,
I have never possessed that sum—never anything like it—and
now never shall. Yet it was not an extravagant ambition, methinks,
however primitive.</p>
<p>As we sat in the garden dusk, the scent of our pipes mingling with
that of roses, N--- said to me in a laughing tone: “Come now,
tell me how you felt when you first heard of your legacy?”
And I could not tell him; I had nothing to say; no vivid recollection
of the moment would come back to me. I am afraid N--- thought
he had been indiscreet, for he passed quickly to another subject.
Thinking it over now, I see, of course, that it would be impossible
to put into words the feeling of that supreme moment of life.
It was not joy that possessed me; I did not exult; I did not lose control
of myself in any way. But I remember drawing one or two deep sighs,
as if all at once relieved of some distressing burden or constraint.
Only some hours after did I begin to feel any kind of agitation.
That night I did not close my eyes; the night after I slept longer and
more soundly than I remember to have done for a score of years.
Once or twice in the first week I had a hysterical feeling; I scarce
kept myself from shedding tears. And the strange thing is that
it seems to have happened so long ago; I seem to have been a free man
for many a twelvemonth, instead of only for two. Indeed, that
is what I have often thought about forms of true happiness; the brief
are quite as satisfying as those that last long. I wanted, before
my death, to enjoy liberty from care, and repose in a place I love.
That was granted me; and, had I known it only for one whole year, the
sum of my enjoyment would have been no whit less than if I live to savour
it for a decade.</p>
<h3>XXIV.</h3>
<p>The honest fellow who comes to dig in my garden is puzzled to account
for my peculiarities; I often catch a look of wondering speculation
in his eye when it turns upon me. It is all because I will not
let him lay out flower-beds in the usual way, and make the bit of ground
in front of the house really neat and ornamental. At first he
put it down to meanness, but he knows by now that that cannot be the
explanation. That I really prefer a garden so poor and plain that
every cottager would be ashamed of it, he cannot bring himself to believe,
and of course I have long since given up trying to explain myself.
The good man probably concludes that too many books and the habit of
solitude have somewhat affected what he would call my “reasons.”</p>
<p>The only garden flowers I care for are the quite old-fashioned roses,
sunflowers, hollyhocks, lilies and so on, and these I like to see growing
as much as possible as if they were wild. Trim and symmetrical
beds are my abhorrence, and most of the flowers which are put into them—hybrids
with some grotesque name—Jonesia, Snooksia—hurt my eyes.
On the other hand, a garden is a garden, and I would not try to introduce
into it the flowers which are my solace in lanes and fields. Foxgloves,
for instance—it would pain me to see them thus transplanted.</p>
<p>I think of foxgloves, for it is the moment of their glory.
Yesterday I went to the lane which I visit every year at this time,
the deep, rutty cart-track, descending between banks covered with giant
fronds of the polypodium, and overhung with wych-elm and hazel, to that
cool, grassy nook where the noble flowers hang on stems all but of my
own height. Nowhere have I seen finer foxgloves. I suppose
they rejoice me so because of early memories—to a child it is
the most impressive of wild flowers; I would walk miles any day to see
a fine cluster, as I would to see the shining of purple loosestrife
by the water edge, or white lilies floating upon the still depth.</p>
<p>But the gardener and I understand each other as soon as we go to
the back of the house, and get among the vegetables. On that ground
he finds me perfectly sane. And indeed I am not sure that the
kitchen garden does not give me more pleasure than the domain of flowers.
Every morning I step round before breakfast to see how things are “coming
on.” It is happiness to note the swelling of pods, the healthy
vigour of potato plants, aye, even the shooting up of radishes and cress.
This year I have a grove of Jerusalem artichokes; they are seven or
eight feet high, and I seem to get vigour as I look at the stems which
are all but trunks, at the great beautiful leaves. Delightful,
too, are the scarlet runners, which have to be propped again and again,
or they would break down under the abundance of their yield. It
is a treat to me to go among them with a basket, gathering; I feel as
though Nature herself showed kindness to me, in giving me such abundant
food. How fresh and wholesome are the odours—especially
if a shower has fallen not long ago!</p>
<p>I have some magnificent carrots this year—straight, clean,
tapering, the colour a joy to look upon.</p>
<h3>XXV.</h3>
<p>For two things do my thoughts turn now and then to London.
I should like to hear the long note of a master’s violin, or the
faultless cadence of an exquisite voice, and I should like to see pictures.
Music and painting have always meant much to me; here I can enjoy them
only in memory.</p>
<p>Of course there is the discomfort of concert-hall and exhibition-rooms.
My pleasure in the finest music would be greatly spoilt by having to
sit amid a crowd, with some idiot audible on right hand or left, and
the show of pictures would give me a headache in the first quarter of
an hour. <i>Non sum qualis eram</i> when I waited several hours
at the gallery door to hear Patti, and knew not a moment’s fatigue
to the end of the concert; or when, at the Academy, I was astonished
to find that it was four o’clock, and I had forgotten food since
breakfast. The truth is, I do not much enjoy anything nowadays
which I cannot enjoy <i>alone</i>. It sounds morose; I imagine
the comment of good people if they overheard such a confession.
Ought I, in truth, to be ashamed of it?</p>
<p>I always read the newspaper articles on exhibitions of pictures,
and with most pleasure when the pictures are landscapes. The mere
names of paintings often gladden me for a whole day—those names
which bring before the mind a bit of seashore, a riverside, a glimpse
of moorland or of woods. However feeble his criticism, the journalist
generally writes with appreciation of these subjects; his descriptions
carry me away to all sorts of places which I shall never see again with
the bodily eye, and I thank him for his unconscious magic. Much
better this, after all, than really going to London and seeing the pictures
themselves. They would not disappoint me; I love and honour even
the least of English landscape painters; but I should try to see too
many at once, and fall back into my old mood of tired grumbling at the
conditions of modern life. For a year or two I have grumbled little—all
the better for me.</p>
<h3>XXVI.</h3>
<p>Of late, I have been wishing for music. An odd chance gratified
my desire.</p>
<p>I had to go into Exeter yesterday. I got there about sunset,
transacted my business, and turned to walk home again through the warm
twilight. In Southernhay, as I was passing a house of which the
ground-floor windows stood open, there sounded the notes of a piano—chords
touched by a skilful hand. I checked my step, hoping, and in a
minute or two the musician began to play that nocturne of Chopin which
I love best—I don’t know how to name it. My heart
leapt. There I stood in the thickening dusk, the glorious sounds
floating about me; and I trembled with very ecstasy of enjoyment.
When silence came, I waited in the hope of another piece, but nothing
followed, and so I went my way.</p>
<p>It is well for me that I cannot hear music when I will; assuredly
I should not have such intense pleasure as comes to me now and then
by haphazard. As I walked on, forgetting all about the distance,
and reaching home before I knew I was half way there, I felt gratitude
to my unknown benefactor—a state of mind I have often experienced
in the days long gone by. It happened at times—not in my
barest days, but in those of decent poverty—that some one in the
house where I lodged played the piano—and how it rejoiced me when
this came to pass! I say “played the piano”—a
phrase that covers much. For my own part, I was very tolerant;
anything that could by the largest interpretation be called music, I
welcomed and was thankful; for even “five-finger exercises”
I found, at moments, better than nothing. For it was when I was
labouring at my desk that the notes of the instrument were grateful
and helpful to me. Some men, I believe, would have been driven
frantic under the circumstances; to me, anything like a musical sound
always came as a godsend; it tuned my thoughts; it made the words flow.
Even the street organs put me in a happy mood; I owe many a page to
them—written when I should else have been sunk in bilious gloom.</p>
<p>More than once, too, when I was walking London streets by night,
penniless and miserable, music from an open window has stayed my step,
even as yesterday. Very well can I remember such a moment in Eaton
Square, one night when I was going back to Chelsea, tired, hungry, racked
by frustrate passions. I had tramped miles and miles, in the hope
of wearying myself so that I could sleep and forget. Then came
the piano notes—I saw that there was festival in the house—and
for an hour or so I revelled as none of the bidden guests could possibly
be doing. And when I reached my poor lodgings, I was no longer
envious nor mad with desires, but as I fell asleep I thanked the unknown
mortal who had played for me, and given me peace.</p>
<h3>XXVII.</h3>
<p>To-day I have read <i>The Tempest</i>. It is perhaps the play
that I love best, and, because I seem to myself to know it so well,
I commonly pass it over in opening the book. Yet, as always in
regard to Shakespeare, having read it once more, I find that my knowledge
was less complete than I supposed. So it would be, live as long
as one might; so it would ever be, whilst one had strength to turn the
pages and a mind left to read them.</p>
<p>I like to believe that this was the poet’s last work, that
he wrote it in his home at Stratford, walking day by day in the fields
which had taught his boyhood to love rural England. It is ripe
fruit of the supreme imagination, perfect craft of the master hand.
For a man whose life’s business it has been to study the English
tongue, what joy can equal that of marking the happy ease wherewith
Shakespeare surpasses, in mere command of words, every achievement of
those even who, apart from him, are great? I could fancy that,
in <i>The Tempest</i>, he wrought with a peculiar consciousness of this
power, smiling as the word of inimitable felicity, the phrase of incomparable
cadence, was whispered to him by the Ariel that was his genius.
He seems to sport with language, to amuse himself with new discovery
of its resources. From king to beggar, men of every rank and every
order of mind have spoken with his lips; he has uttered the lore of
fairyland; now it pleases him to create a being neither man nor fairy,
a something between brute and human nature, and to endow its purposes
with words. These words, how they smack of the moist and spawning
earth, of the life of creatures that cannot rise above the soil!
We do not think of it enough; we stint our wonder because we fall short
in appreciation. A miracle is worked before us, and we scarce
give heed; it has become familiar to our minds as any other of nature’s
marvels, which we rarely pause to reflect upon.</p>
<p><i>The Tempest</i> contains the noblest meditative passage in all
the plays; that which embodies Shakespeare’s final view of life,
and is the inevitable quotation of all who would sum the teachings of
philosophy. It contains his most exquisite lyrics, his tenderest
love passages, and one glimpse of fairyland which—I cannot but
think—outshines the utmost beauty of <i>A Midsummer Night’s
Dream</i>: Prospero’s farewell to the “elves of hills, brooks,
standing lakes, and groves.” Again a miracle; these are
things which cannot be staled by repetition. Come to them often
as you will, they are ever fresh as though new minted from the brain
of the poet. Being perfect, they can never droop under that satiety
which arises from the perception of fault; their virtue can never be
so entirely savoured as to leave no pungency of gusto for the next approach.</p>
<p>Among the many reasons which make me glad to have been born in England,
one of the first is that I read Shakespeare in my mother tongue.
If I try to imagine myself as one who cannot know him face to face,
who hears him only speaking from afar, and that in accents which only
through the labouring intelligence can touch the living soul, there
comes upon me a sense of chill discouragement, of dreary deprivation.
I am wont to think that I can read Homer, and, assuredly, if any man
enjoys him, it is I; but can I for a moment dream that Homer yields
me all his music, that his word is to me as to him who walked by the
Hellenic shore when Hellas lived? I know that there reaches me
across the vast of time no more than a faint and broken echo; I know
that it would be fainter still, but for its blending with those memories
of youth which are as a glimmer of the world’s primeval glory.
Let every land have joy of its poet; for the poet is the land itself,
all its greatness and its sweetness, all that incommunicable heritage
for which men live and die. As I close the book, love and reverence
possess me. Whether does my full heart turn to the great Enchanter,
or to the Island upon which he has laid his spell? I know not.
I cannot think of them apart. In the love and reverence awakened
by that voice of voices, Shakespeare and England are but one.</p>
<h2>AUTUMN</h2>
<h3>I.</h3>
<p>This has been a year of long sunshine. Month has followed upon
month with little unkindness of the sky; I scarcely marked when July
passed into August, August into September. I should think it summer
still, but that I see the lanes yellow-purfled with flowers of autumn.</p>
<p>I am busy with the hawkweeds; that is to say, I am learning to distinguish
and to name as many as I can. For scientific classification I
have little mind; it does not happen to fall in with my habits of thought;
but I like to be able to give its name (the “trivial” by
choice) to every flower I meet in my walks. Why should I be content
to say, “Oh, it’s a hawkweed”? That is but one
degree less ungracious than if I dismissed all the yellow-rayed as “dandelions.”
I feel as if the flower were pleased by my recognition of its personality.
Seeing how much I owe them, one and all, the least I can do is to greet
them severally. For the same reason I had rather say “hawkweed”
than “hieracium”; the homelier word has more of kindly friendship.</p>
<h3>II.</h3>
<p>How the mood for a book sometimes rushes upon one, either one knows
not why, or in consequence, perhaps, of some most trifling suggestion.
Yesterday I was walking at dusk. I came to an old farmhouse; at
the garden gate a vehicle stood waiting, and I saw it was our doctor’s
gig. Having passed, I turned to look back. There was a faint
afterglow in the sky beyond the chimneys; a light twinkled at one of
the upper windows. I said to myself, “Tristram Shandy,”
and hurried home to plunge into a book which I have not opened for I
dare say twenty years.</p>
<p>Not long ago, I awoke one morning and suddenly thought of the Correspondence
between Goethe and Schiller; and so impatient did I become to open the
book that I got up an hour earlier than usual. A book worth rising
for; much better worth than old Burton, who pulled Johnson out of bed.
A book which helps one to forget the idle or venomous chatter going
on everywhere about us, and bids us cherish hope for a world “which
has such people in’t.”</p>
<p>These volumes I had at hand; I could reach them down from my shelves
at the moment when I hungered for them. But it often happens that
the book which comes into my mind could only be procured with trouble
and delay; I breathe regretfully and put aside the thought. Ah!
the books that one will never read again. They gave delight, perchance
something more; they left a perfume in the memory; but life has passed
them by for ever. I have but to muse, and one after another they
rise before me. Books gentle and quieting; books noble and inspiring;
books that well merit to be pored over, not once but many a time.
Yet never again shall I hold them in my hand; the years fly too quickly,
and are too few. Perhaps when I lie waiting for the end, some
of those lost books will come into my wandering thoughts, and I shall
remember them as friends to whom I owed a kindness—friends passed
upon the way. What regret in that last farewell!</p>
<h3>III.</h3>
<p>Every one, I suppose, is subject to a trick of mind which often puzzles
me. I am reading or thinking, and at a moment, without any association
or suggestion that I can discover, there rises before me the vision
of a place I know. Impossible to explain why that particular spot
should show itself to my mind’s eye; the cerebral impulse is so
subtle that no search may trace its origin. If I am reading, doubtless
a thought, a phrase, possibly a mere word, on the page before me serves
to awaken memory. If I am otherwise occupied, it must be an object
seen, an odour, a touch; perhaps even a posture of the body suffices
to recall something in the past. Sometimes the vision passes,
and there an end; sometimes, however, it has successors, the memory
working quite independently of my will, and no link appearing between
one scene and the next.</p>
<p>Ten minutes ago I was talking with my gardener. Our topic was
the nature of the soil, whether or not it would suit a certain kind
of vegetable. Of a sudden I found myself gazing at—the Bay
of Avlona. Quite certainly my thoughts had not strayed in that
direction. The picture that came before me caused me a shock of
surprise, and I am still vainly trying to discover how I came to behold
it.</p>
<p>A happy chance that I ever saw Avlona. I was on my way from
Corfu to Brindisi. The steamer sailed late in the afternoon; there
was a little wind, and as the December night became chilly, I soon turned
in. With the first daylight I was on deck, expecting to find that
we were near the Italian port; to my surprise, I saw a mountainous shore,
towards which the ship was making at full speed. On inquiry, I
learnt that this was the coast of Albania; our vessel not being very
seaworthy, and the wind still blowing a little (though not enough to
make any passenger uncomfortable), the captain had turned back when
nearly half across the Adriatic, and was seeking a haven in the shelter
of the snow-topped hills. Presently we steamed into a great bay,
in the narrow mouth of which lay an island. My map showed me where
we were, and with no small interest I discovered that the long line
of heights guarding the bay on its southern side formed the Acroceraunian
Promontory. A little town visible high up on the inner shore was
the ancient Aulon.</p>
<p>Here we anchored, and lay all day long. Provisions running
short, a boat had to be sent to land, and the sailors purchased, among
other things, some peculiarly detestable bread—according to them,
<i>cotto al sole</i>. There was not a cloud in the sky; till evening,
the wind whistled above our heads, but the sea about us was blue and
smooth. I sat in hot sunshine, feasting my eyes on the beautiful
cliffs and valleys of the thickly-wooded shore. Then came a noble
sunset; then night crept gently into the hollows of the hills, which
now were coloured the deepest, richest green. A little lighthouse
began to shine. In the perfect calm that had fallen, I heard breakers
murmuring softly upon the beach.</p>
<p>At sunrise we entered the port of Brindisi.</p>
<h3>IV.</h3>
<p>The characteristic motive of English poetry is love of nature, especially
of nature as seen in the English rural landscape. From the “Cuckoo
Song” of our language in its beginnings to the perfect loveliness
of Tennyson’s best verse, this note is ever sounding. It
is persistent even amid the triumph of the drama. Take away from
Shakespeare all his bits of natural description, all his casual allusions
to the life and aspects of the country, and what a loss were there!
The reign of the iambic couplet confined, but could not suppress, this
native music; Pope notwithstanding, there came the “Ode to Evening”
and that “Elegy” which, unsurpassed for beauty of thought
and nobility of utterance in all the treasury of our lyrics, remains
perhaps the most essentially English poem ever written.</p>
<p>This attribute of our national mind availed even to give rise to
an English school of painting. It came late; that it ever came
at all is remarkable enough. A people apparently less apt for
that kind of achievement never existed. So profound is the English
joy in meadow and stream and hill, that, unsatisfied at last with vocal
expression, it took up the brush, the pencil, the etching tool, and
created a new form of art. The National Gallery represents only
in a very imperfect way the richness and variety of our landscape work.
Were it possible to collect, and suitably to display, the very best
of such work in every vehicle, I know not which would be the stronger
emotion in an English heart, pride or rapture.</p>
<p>One obvious reason for the long neglect of Turner lies in the fact
that his genius does not seem to be truly English. Turner’s
landscape, even when it presents familiar scenes, does not show them
in the familiar light. Neither the artist nor the intelligent
layman is satisfied. He gives us glorious visions; we admit the
glory—but we miss something which we deem essential. I doubt
whether Turner tasted rural England; I doubt whether the spirit of English
poetry was in him; I doubt whether the essential significance of the
common things which we call beautiful was revealed to his soul.
Such doubt does not affect his greatness as a poet in colour and in
form, but I suspect that it has always been the cause why England could
not love him. If any man whom I knew to be a man of brains confessed
to me that he preferred Birket Foster, I should smile—but I should
understand.</p>
<h3>V.</h3>
<p>A long time since I wrote in this book. In September I caught
a cold, which meant three weeks’ illness.</p>
<p>I have not been suffering; merely feverish and weak and unable to
use my mind for anything but a daily hour or two of the lightest reading.
The weather has not favoured my recovery, wet winds often blowing, and
not much sun. Lying in bed, I have watched the sky, studied the
clouds, which—so long as they are clouds indeed, and not a mere
waste of grey vapour—always have their beauty. Inability
to read has always been my horror; once, a trouble of the eyes all but
drove me mad with fear of blindness; but I find that in my present circumstances,
in my own still house, with no intrusion to be dreaded, with no task
or care to worry me, I can fleet the time not unpleasantly even without
help of books. Reverie, unknown to me in the days of bondage,
has brought me solace; I hope it has a little advanced me in wisdom.</p>
<p>For not, surely, by deliberate effort of thought does a man grow
wise. The truths of life are not discovered by us. At moments
unforeseen, some gracious influence descends upon the soul, touching
it to an emotion which, we know not how, the mind transmutes into thought.
This can happen only in a calm of the senses, a surrender of the whole
being to passionless contemplation. I understand, now, the intellectual
mood of the quietist.</p>
<p>Of course my good housekeeper has tended me perfectly, with the minimum
of needless talk. Wonderful woman!</p>
<p>If the evidence of a well-spent life is necessarily seen in “honour,
love, obedience, troops of friends,” mine, it is clear, has fallen
short of a moderate ideal. Friends I have had, and have; but very
few. Honour and obedience—why, by a stretch, Mrs. M--- may
perchance represent these blessings. As for love—?</p>
<p>Let me tell myself the truth. Do I really believe that at any
time of my life I have been the kind of man who merits affection?
I think not. I have always been much too self-absorbed; too critical
of all about me; too unreasonably proud. Such men as I live and
die alone, however much in appearance accompanied. I do not repine
at it; nay, lying day after day in solitude and silence, I have felt
glad that it was so. At least I give no one trouble, and that
is much. Most solemnly do I hope that in the latter days no long
illness awaits me. May I pass quickly from this life of quiet
enjoyment to the final peace. So shall no one think of me with
pained sympathy or with weariness. One—two—even three
may possibly feel regret, come the end how it may, but I do not flatter
myself that to them I am more than an object of kindly thought at long
intervals. It is enough; it signifies that I have not erred wholly.
And when I think that my daily life testifies to an act of kindness
such as I could never have dreamt of meriting from the man who performed
it, may I not be much more than content?</p>
<h3>VI.</h3>
<p>How I envy those who become prudent without thwackings of experience!
Such men seem to be not uncommon. I don’t mean cold-blooded
calculators of profit and loss in life’s possibilities; nor yet
the plodding dull, who never have imagination enough to quit the beaten
track of security; but bright-witted and large-hearted fellows who seem
always to be led by common sense, who go steadily from stage to stage
of life, doing the right, the prudent things, guilty of no vagaries,
winning respect by natural progress, seldom needing aid themselves,
often helpful to others, and, through all, good-tempered, deliberate,
happy. How I envy them!</p>
<p>For of myself it might be said that whatever folly is possible to
a moneyless man, that folly I have at one time or another committed.
Within my nature there seemed to be no faculty of rational self-guidance.
Boy and man, I blundered into every ditch and bog which lay within sight
of my way. Never did silly mortal reap such harvest of experience;
never had any one so many bruises to show for it. Thwack, thwack!
No sooner had I recovered from one sound drubbing than I put myself
in the way of another. “Unpractical” I was called
by those who spoke mildly; “idiot”—I am sure—by
many a ruder tongue. And idiot I see myself, whenever I glance
back over the long, devious road. Something, obviously, I lacked
from the beginning, some balancing principle granted to most men in
one or another degree. I had brains, but they were no help to
me in the common circumstances of life. But for the good fortune
which plucked me out of my mazes and set me in paradise, I should no
doubt have blundered on to the end. The last thwack of experience
would have laid me low just when I was becoming really a prudent man.</p>
<h3>VII.</h3>
<p>This morning’s sunshine faded amid slow-gathering clouds, but
something of its light seems still to linger in the air, and to touch
the rain which is falling softly. I hear a pattering upon the
still leafage of the garden; it is a sound which lulls, and tunes the
mind to calm thoughtfulness.</p>
<p>I have a letter to-day from my old friend in Germany, E. B.
For many and many a year these letters have made a pleasant incident
in my life; more than that, they have often brought me help and comfort.
It must be a rare thing for friendly correspondence to go on during
the greater part of a lifetime between men of different nationalities
who see each other not twice in two decades. We were young men
when we first met in London, poor, struggling, full of hopes and ideals;
now we look back upon those far memories from the autumn of life.
B. writes to-day in a vein of quiet contentment, which does me good.
He quotes Goethe: “<i>Was man in der Jugend begehrt hat man im
Alter die Fülle</i>.”</p>
<p>These words of Goethe’s were once a hope to me; later, they
made me shake my head incredulously; now I smile to think how true they
have proved in my own case. But what, exactly, do they mean?
Are they merely an expression of the optimistic spirit? If so,
optimism has to content itself with rather doubtful generalities.
Can it truly be said that most men find the wishes of their youth satisfied
in later life? Ten years ago, I should have utterly denied it,
and could have brought what seemed to me abundant evidence in its disproof.
And as regards myself, is it not by mere happy accident that I pass
my latter years in such enjoyment of all I most desired? Accident—but
there is no such thing. I might just as well have called it an
accident had I succeeded in earning the money on which now I live.</p>
<p>From the beginning of my manhood, it is true, I longed for bookish
leisure; that, assuredly, is seldom even one of the desires in a young
man’s heart, but perhaps it is one of those which may most reasonably
look for gratification later on. What, however, of the multitudes
who aim only at wealth, for the power and the pride and the material
pleasures which it represents? We know very well that few indeed
are successful in that aim; and, missing it, do they not miss everything?
For them, are not Goethe’s words mere mockery?</p>
<p>Apply them to mankind at large, and perhaps, after all, they are
true. The fact of national prosperity and contentment implies,
necessarily, the prosperity and contentment of the greater number of
the individuals of which the nation consists. In other words,
the average man who is past middle life has obtained what he strove
for—success in his calling. As a young man, he would not,
perhaps, have set forth his aspirations so moderately, but do they not,
as a fact, amount to this? In defence of the optimistic view,
one may urge how rare it is to meet with an elderly man who harbours
a repining spirit. True; but I have always regarded as a fact
of infinite pathos the ability men have to subdue themselves to the
conditions of life. Contentment so often means resignation, abandonment
of the hope seen to be forbidden.</p>
<p>I cannot resolve this doubt.</p>
<h3>VIII.</h3>
<p>I have been reading Sainte-Beuve’s <i>Port Royal</i>, a book
I have often thought of reading, but its length, and my slight interest
in that period, always held me aloof. Happily, chance and mood
came together, and I am richer by a bit of knowledge well worth acquiring.
It is the kind of book which, one may reasonably say, tends to edification.
One is better for having lived a while with “Messieurs de Port-Royal”;
the best of them were, surely, not far from the Kingdom of Heaven.</p>
<p>Theirs is not, indeed, the Christianity of the first age; we are
among theologians, and the shadow of dogma has dimmed those divine hues
of the early morning, yet ever and anon there comes a cool, sweet air,
which seems not to have blown across man’s common world, which
bears no taint of mortality.</p>
<p>A gallery of impressive and touching portraits. The great-souled
M. de Saint-Cyran, with his vision of Christ restored; M. Le Maître,
who, at the summit of a brilliant career, turned from the world to meditation
and penitence; Pascal, with his genius and his triumphs, his conflicts
of soul and fleshly martyrdom; Lancelot, the good Lancelot, ideal schoolmaster,
who wrote grammar and edited classical books; the vigorous Arnauld,
doctoral rather than saintly, but long-suffering for the faith that
was in him; and all the smaller names—Walon de Beaupuis, Nicole,
Hamon—spirits of exquisite humility and sweetness—a perfume
rises from the page as one reads about them. But best of all I
like M. de Tillemont; I could have wished for myself even such a life
as his; wrapped in silence and calm, a life of gentle devotion and zealous
study. From the age of fourteen, he said, his intellect had occupied
itself with but one subject, that of ecclesiastical history. Rising
at four o’clock, he read and wrote until half-past nine in the
evening, interrupting his work only to say the Offices of the Church,
and for a couple of hours’ breathing at mid-day. Few were
his absences. When he had to make a journey, he set forth on foot,
staff in hand, and lightened the way by singing to himself a psalm or
canticle. This man of profound erudition had as pure and simple
a heart as ever dwelt in mortal. He loved to stop by the road
and talk with children, and knew how to hold their attention whilst
teaching them a lesson. Seeing boy or girl in charge of a cow,
he would ask: “How is it that you, a little child, are able to
control that animal, so much bigger and stronger?” And he
would show the reason, speaking of the human soul. All this about
Tillemont is new to me; well as I knew his name (from the pages of Gibbon),
I thought of him merely as the laborious and accurate compiler of historical
materials. Admirable as was his work, the spirit in which he performed
it is the thing to dwell upon; he studied for study’s sake, and
with no aim but truth; to him it was a matter of indifference whether
his learning ever became known among men, and at any moment he would
have given the fruits of his labour to any one capable of making use
of them.</p>
<p>Think of the world in which the Jansenists were living; the world
of the Fronde, of Richelieu and Mazarin, of his refulgent Majesty Louis
XIV. Contrast Port-Royal with Versailles, and—whatever one’s
judgment of their religious and ecclesiastical aims—one must needs
say that these men lived with dignity. The Great Monarch is, in
comparison, a poor, sordid creature. One thinks of Molière
refused burial—the king’s contemptuous indifference for
one who could do no more to amuse him being a true measure of the royal
greatness. Face to face with even the least of these grave and
pious men, how paltry and unclean are all those courtly figures; not
<i>there</i> was dignity, in the palace chambers and the stately gardens,
but in the poor rooms where the solitaries of Port-Royal prayed and
studied and taught. Whether or not the ideal for mankind, their
life was worthy of man. And what is rarer than a life to which
that praise can be given?</p>
<h3>IX.</h3>
<p>It is amusing to note the superficial forms of reaction against scientific
positivism. The triumph of Darwin was signalized by the invention
of that happy word Agnostic, which had great vogue. But agnosticism,
as a fashion, was far too reasonable to endure. There came a rumour
of Oriental magic, (how the world repeats itself!) and presently every
one who had nothing better to do gossipped about “esoteric Buddhism”—the
saving adjective sounded well in a drawing-room. It did not hold
very long, even with the novelists; for the English taste this esotericism
was too exotic. Somebody suggested that the old table-turning
and spirit-rapping, which had homely associations, might be re-considered
in a scientific light, and the idea was seized upon. Superstition
pranked in the professor’s spectacles, it set up a laboratory,
and printed grave reports. Day by day its sphere widened.
Hypnotism brought matter for the marvel-mongers, and there followed
a long procession of words in limping Greek—a little difficult
till practice had made perfect. Another fortunate terminologist
hit upon the word “psychical”—the <i>p</i> might be
sounded or not, according to the taste and fancy of the pronouncer—and
the fashionable children of a scientific age were thoroughly at ease.
“There <i>must</i> be something, you know; one always felt that
there <i>must</i> be something.” And now, if one may judge
from what one reads, psychical “science” is comfortably
joining hands with the sorcery of the Middle Ages. It is said
to be a lucrative moment for wizards that peep and that mutter.
If the law against fortune-telling were as strictly enforced in the
polite world as it occasionally is in slums and hamlets, we should have
a merry time. But it is difficult to prosecute a Professor of
Telepathy—and how he would welcome the advertisement!</p>
<p>Of course I know very well that all that make use of these words
are not in one and the same category. There is a study of the
human mind, in health and in disease, which calls for as much respect
as any other study conscientiously and capably pursued; that it lends
occasion to fribbles and knaves is no argument against any honest tendency
of thought. Men whom one cannot but esteem are deeply engaged
in psychical investigations, and have convinced themselves that they
are brought into touch with phenomena inexplicable by the commonly accepted
laws of life. Be it so. They may be on the point of making
discoveries in the world beyond sense. For my own part, everything
of this kind not only does not interest me; I turn from it with the
strongest distaste. If every wonder-story examined by the Psychical
Society were set before me with irresistible evidence of its truth,
my feeling (call it my prejudice) would undergo no change whatever.
No whit the less should I yawn over the next batch, and lay the narratives
aside with—yes, with a sort of disgust. “An ounce
of civet, good apothecary!” Why it should be so with me
I cannot say. I am as indifferent to the facts or fancies of spiritualism
as I am, for instance, to the latest mechanical application of electricity.
Edisons and Marconis may thrill the world with astounding novelties;
they astound me, as every one else, but straightway I forget my astonishment,
and am in every respect the man I was before. The thing has simply
no concern for me, and I care not a <i>volt</i> if to-morrow the proclaimed
discovery be proved a journalist’s mistake or invention.</p>
<p>Am I, then, a hidebound materialist? If I know myself, hardly
that. Once, in conversation with G. A., I referred to his position
as that of the agnostic. He corrected me. “The agnostic
grants that there <i>may</i> be something beyond the sphere of man’s
knowledge; I can make no such admission. For me, what is called
the unknowable is simply the non-existent. We see what is, and
we see all.” Now this gave me a sort of shock; it seemed
incredible to me that a man of so much intelligence could hold such
a view. So far am I from feeling satisfied with any explanation,
scientific or other, of myself and of the world about me, that not a
day goes by but I fall a-marvelling before the mystery of the universe.
To trumpet the triumphs of human knowledge seems to me worse than childishness;
now, as of old, we know but one thing—that we know nothing.
What! Can I pluck the flower by the wayside, and, as I gaze at
it, feel that, if I knew all the teachings of histology, morphology,
and so on, with regard to it, I should have exhausted its meanings?
What is all this but words, words, words? Interesting, yes, as
observation; but, the more interesting, so much the more provocative
of wonder and of hopeless questioning. One may gaze and think
till the brain whirls—till the little blossom in one’s hand
becomes as overwhelming a miracle as the very sun in heaven. Nothing
to be known? The flower simply a flower, and there an end on’t?
The man simply a product of evolutionary law, his senses and his intellect
merely availing him to take account of the natural mechanism of which
he forms a part? I find it very hard to believe that this is the
conviction of any human mind. Rather I would think that despair
at an insoluble problem, and perhaps impatience with those who pretend
to solve it, bring about a resolute disregard of everything beyond the
physical fact, and so at length a self-deception which seems obtuseness.</p>
<h3>X.</h3>
<p>It may well be that what we call the unknowable will be for ever
the unknown. In that thought is there not a pathos beyond words?
It may be that the human race will live and pass away; all mankind,
from him who in the world’s dawn first shaped to his fearful mind
an image of the Lord of Life, to him who, in the dusking twilight of
the last age, shall crouch before a deity of stone or wood; and never
one of that long lineage have learnt the wherefore of his being.
The prophets, the martyrs, their noble anguish vain and meaningless;
the wise whose thought strove to eternity, and was but an idle dream;
the pure in heart whose life was a vision of the living God, the suffering
and the mourners whose solace was in a world to come, the victims of
injustice who cried to the Judge Supreme—all gone down into silence,
and the globe that bare them circling dead and cold through soundless
space. The most tragic aspect of such a tragedy is that it is
not unthinkable. The soul revolts, but dare not see in this revolt
the assurance of its higher destiny. Viewing our life thus, is
it not easier to believe that the tragedy is played with no spectator?
And of a truth, of a truth, what spectator can there be? The day
may come when, to all who live, the Name of Names will be but an empty
symbol, rejected by reason and by faith. Yet the tragedy will
be played on.</p>
<p>It is not, I say, unthinkable; but that is not the same thing as
to declare that life has no meaning beyond the sense it bears to human
intelligence. The intelligence itself rejects such a supposition;
in my case, with impatience and scorn. No theory of the world
which ever came to my knowledge is to me for one moment acceptable;
the possibility of an explanation which would set my mind at rest is
to me inconceivable; no whit the less am I convinced that there is a
Reason of the All; one which transcends my understanding, one no glimmer
of which will ever touch my apprehension; a Reason which must imply
a creative power, and therefore, even whilst a necessity of my thought,
is by the same criticized into nothing. A like antinomy with that
which affects our conception of the infinite in time and space.
Whether the rational processes have reached their final development,
who shall say? Perhaps what seem to us the impassable limits of
thought are but the conditions of a yet early stage in the history of
man. Those who make them a proof of a “future state”
must necessarily suppose gradations in that futurity; does the savage,
scarce risen above the brute, enter upon the same “new life”
as the man of highest civilization? Such gropings of the mind
certify our ignorance; the strange thing is that they can be held by
any one to demonstrate that our ignorance is final knowledge.</p>
<h3>XI.</h3>
<p>Yet that, perhaps, will be the mind of coming man; if not the final
attainment of his intellectual progress, at all events a long period
of self-satisfaction, assumed as finality. We talk of the “ever
aspiring soul”; we take for granted that if one religion passes
away, another must arise. But what if man presently find himself
without spiritual needs? Such modification of his being cannot
be deemed impossible; many signs of our life to-day seem to point towards
it. If the habits of thought favoured by physical science do but
sink deep enough, and no vast calamity come to check mankind in its
advance to material contentment, the age of true positivism may arise.
Then it will be the common privilege, “rerum cognoscere causas”;
the word supernatural will have no sense; superstition will be a dimly
understood trait of the early race; and where now we perceive an appalling
Mystery, everything will be lucid and serene as a geometric demonstration.
Such an epoch of Reason might be the happiest the world could know.
Indeed, it would either be that, or it would never come about at all.
For suffering and sorrow are the great Doctors of Metaphysic; and, remembering
this, one cannot count very surely upon the rationalist millennium.</p>
<h3>XII.</h3>
<p>The free man, says Spinoza, thinks of nothing less often than of
death. Free, in his sense of the word, I may not call myself.
I think of death very often; the thought, indeed, is ever in the background
of my mind; yet free in another sense I assuredly am, for death inspires
me with no fear. There was a time when I dreaded it; but that,
merely because it meant disaster to others who depended upon my labour;
the cessation of being has never in itself had power to afflict me.
Pain I cannot well endure, and I do indeed think with apprehension of
being subjected to the trial of long deathbed torments. It is
a sorry thing that the man who has fronted destiny with something of
manly calm throughout a life of stress and of striving, may, when he
nears the end, be dishonoured by a weakness which is mere disease.
But happily I am not often troubled by that dark anticipation.</p>
<p>I always turn out of my way to walk through a country churchyard;
these rural resting-places are as attractive to me as a town cemetery
is repugnant. I read the names upon the stones, and find a deep
solace in thinking that for all these the fret and the fear of life
are over. There comes to me no touch of sadness; whether it be
a little child or an aged man, I have the same sense of happy accomplishment;
the end having come, and with it the eternal peace, what matter if it
came late or soon? There is no such gratulation as <i>Hic jacet</i>.
There is no such dignity as that of death. In the path trodden
by the noblest of mankind these have followed; that which of all who
live is the utmost thing demanded, these have achieved. I cannot
sorrow for them, but the thought of their vanished life moves me to
a brotherly tenderness. The dead, amid this leafy silence, seem
to whisper encouragement to him whose fate yet lingers: As we are, so
shalt thou be; and behold our quiet!</p>
<h3>XIII.</h3>
<p>Many a time, when life went hard with me, I have betaken myself to
the Stoics, and not all in vain. Marcus Aurelius has often been
one of my bedside books; I have read him in the night watches, when
I could not sleep for misery, and when assuredly I could have read nothing
else. He did not remove my burden; his proofs of the vanity of
earthly troubles availed me nothing; but there was a soothing harmony
in his thought which partly lulled my mind, and the mere wish that I
could find strength to emulate that high example (though I knew that
I never should) was in itself a safeguard against the baser impulses
of wretchedness. I read him still, but with no turbid emotion,
thinking rather of the man than of the philosophy, and holding his image
dear in my heart of hearts.</p>
<p>Of course the intellectual assumption which makes his system untenable
by the thinker of our time is: that we possess a knowledge of the absolute.
Noble is the belief that by exercise of his reason a man may enter into
communion with that Rational Essence which is the soul of the world;
but precisely because of our inability to find within ourselves any
such sure and certain guidance do we of to-day accept the barren doom
of scepticism. Otherwise, the Stoic’s sense of man’s
subordination in the universal scheme, and of the all-ruling destiny,
brings him into touch with our own philosophical views, and his doctrine
concerning the “sociable” nature of man, of the reciprocal
obligations which exist between all who live, are entirely congenial
to the better spirit of our day. His fatalism is not mere resignation;
one has not only to accept one’s lot, whatever it is, as inevitable,
but to accept it with joy, with praises. Why are we here?
For the same reason that has brought about the existence of a horse,
or of a vine, to play the part allotted to us by Nature. As it
is within our power to understand the order of things, so are we capable
of guiding ourselves in accordance therewith; the will, powerless over
circumstance, is free to determine the habits of the soul. The
first duty is self-discipline; its correspondent first privilege is
an inborn knowledge of the law of life.</p>
<p>But we are fronted by that persistent questioner who will accept
no <i>a priori</i> assumption, however noble in its character and beneficent
in its tendency. How do we know that the reason of the Stoic is
at harmony with the world’s law? I, perhaps, may see life
from a very different point of view; to me reason may dictate, not self-subdual,
but self-indulgence; I may find in the free exercise of all my passions
an existence far more consonant with what seems to me the dictate of
Nature. I am proud; Nature has made me so; let my pride assert
itself to justification. I am strong; let me put forth my strength,
it is the destiny of the feeble to fall before me. On the other
hand, I am weak and I suffer; what avails a mere assertion that fate
is just, to bring about my calm and glad acceptance of this down-trodden
doom? Nay, for there is that within my soul which bids me revolt,
and cry against the iniquity of some power I know not. Granting
that I am compelled to acknowledge a scheme of things which constrains
me to this or that, whether I will or no, how can I be sure that wisdom
or moral duty lies in acquiescence? Thus the unceasing questioner;
to whom, indeed, there is no reply. For our philosophy sees no
longer a supreme sanction, and no longer hears a harmony of the universe.</p>
<p>“He that is unjust is also impious. For the Nature of
the Universe, having made all reasonable creatures one for another,
to the end that they should do one another good; more or less, according
to the several persons and occasions; but in no wise hurt one another;
it is manifest that he that doth transgress against this her will, is
guilty of impiety towards the most ancient and venerable of all the
Deities.” How gladly would I believe this! That injustice
is impiety, and indeed the supreme impiety, I will hold with my last
breath; but it were the merest affectation of a noble sentiment if I
supported my faith by such a reasoning. I see no single piece
of strong testimony that justice is the law of the universe; I see suggestions
incalculable tending to prove that it is not. Rather must I apprehend
that man, in some inconceivable way, may at his best moments represent
a Principle darkly at strife with that which prevails throughout the
world as known to us. If the just man be in truth a worshipper
of the most ancient of Deities, he must needs suppose, either that the
object of his worship belongs to a fallen dynasty, or—what from
of old has been his refuge—that the sacred fire which burns within
him is an “evidence of things not seen.” What if I
am incapable of either supposition? There remains the dignity
of a hopeless cause—“<i>sed victa Catoni</i>.”
But how can there sound the hymn of praise?</p>
<p>“That is best for everyone, which the common Nature of all
doth send unto everyone, and then is it best, when she doth send it.”
The optimism of Necessity, and perhaps, the highest wisdom man can attain
unto. “Remember that unto reasonable creatures only is it
granted that they may willingly and freely submit.” No one
could be more sensible than I of the persuasiveness of this high theme.
The words sing to me, and life is illumined with soft glory, like that
of the autumn sunset yonder. “Consider how man’s life
is but for a very moment of time, and so depart meek and contented:
even as if a ripe olive falling should praise the ground that bare her,
and give thanks to the tree that begat her.” So would I
fain think, when the moment comes. It is the mood of strenuous
endeavour, but also the mood of rest. Better than the calm of
achieved indifference (if that, indeed, is possible to man); better
than the ecstasy which contemns the travail of earth in contemplation
of bliss to come. But, by no effort attainable. An influence
of the unknown powers; a peace that falleth upon the soul like dew at
evening.</p>
<h3>XIV.</h3>
<p>I have had one of my savage headaches. For a day and a night
I was in blind torment. Have at it, now, with the stoic remedy.
Sickness of the body is no evil. With a little resolution and
considering it as a natural issue of certain natural processes, pain
may well be borne. One’s solace is, to remember that it
cannot affect the soul, which partakes of the eternal nature.
This body is but as “the clothing, or the cottage, of the mind.”
Let flesh be racked; I, the very I, will stand apart, lord of myself.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, memory, reason, every faculty of my intellectual part,
is being whelmed in muddy oblivion. Is the soul something other
than the mind? If so, I have lost all consciousness of its existence.
For me, mind and soul are one, and, as I am too feelingly reminded,
that element of my being is <i>here</i>, where the brain throbs and
anguishes. A little more of such suffering, and I were myself
no longer; the body representing me would gesticulate and rave, but
I should know nothing of its motives, its fantasies. The very
I, it is too plain, consists but with a certain balance of my physical
elements, which we call health. Even in the light beginnings of
my headache, I was already not myself; my thoughts followed no normal
course, and I was aware of the abnormality. A few hours later,
I was but a walking disease; my mind—if one could use the word—had
become a barrel-organ, grinding in endless repetition a bar or two of
idle music.</p>
<p>What trust shall I repose in the soul that serves me thus?
Just as much, one would say, as in the senses, through which I know
all that I can know of the world in which I live, and which, for all
I can tell, may deceive me even more grossly in their common use than
they do on certain occasions where I have power to test them; just as
much, and no more—if I am right in concluding that mind and soul
are merely subtle functions of body. If I chance to become deranged
in certain parts of my physical mechanism, I shall straightway be deranged
in my wits; and behold that Something in me which “partakes of
the eternal” prompting me to pranks which savour little of the
infinite wisdom. Even in its normal condition (if I can determine
what that is) my mind is obviously the slave of trivial accidents; I
eat something that disagrees with me, and of a sudden the whole aspect
of life is changed; this impulse has lost its force, and another which
before I should not for a moment have entertained, is all-powerful over
me. In short, I know just as little about myself as I do about
the Eternal Essence, and I have a haunting suspicion that I may be a
mere automaton, my every thought and act due to some power which uses
and deceives me.</p>
<p>Why am I meditating thus, instead of enjoying the life of the natural
man, at peace with himself and the world, as I was a day or two ago?
Merely, it is evident, because my health has suffered a temporary disorder.
It has passed; I have thought enough about the unthinkable; I feel my
quiet returning. Is it any merit of mine that I begin to be in
health once more? Could I, by any effort of the will, have shunned
this pitfall?</p>
<h3>XV.</h3>
<p>Blackberries hanging thick upon the hedge bring to my memory something
of long ago. I had somehow escaped into the country, and on a
long walk began to feel mid-day hunger. The wayside brambles were
fruiting; I picked and ate, and ate on, until I had come within sight
of an inn where I might have made a meal. But my hunger was satisfied;
I had no need of anything more, and, as I thought of it, a strange feeling
of surprise, a sort of bewilderment, came upon me. What!
Could it be that I had eaten, and eaten sufficiently, <i>without paying</i>?
It struck me as an extraordinary thing. At that time, my ceaseless
preoccupation was how to obtain money to keep myself alive. Many
a day I had suffered hunger because I durst not spend the few coins
I possessed; the food I could buy was in any case unsatisfactory, unvaried.
But here Nature had given me a feast, which seemed delicious, and I
had eaten all I wanted. The wonder held me for a long time, and
to this day I can recall it, understand it.</p>
<p>I think there could be no better illustration of what it means to
be very poor in a great town. And I am glad to have been through
it. To those days of misery I owe much of the contentment which
I now enjoy; not by mere force of contrast, but because I have been
better taught than most men the facts which condition our day to day
existence. To the ordinary educated person, freedom from anxiety
as to how he shall merely be fed and clothed is a matter of course;
questioned, he would admit it to be an agreeable state of things, but
it is no more a source of conscious joy to him than physical health
to the thoroughly sound man. For me, were I to live another fifty
years, this security would be a delightful surprise renewed with every
renewal of day. I know, as only one with my experience can, all
that is involved in the possession of means to live. The average
educated man has never stood alone, utterly alone, just clad and nothing
more than that, with the problem before him of wresting his next meal
from a world that cares not whether he live or die. There is no
such school of political economy. Go through that course of lectures,
and you will never again become confused as to the meaning of elementary
terms in that sorry science.</p>
<p>I understand, far better than most men, what I owe to the labour
of others. This money which I “draw” at the four quarters
of the year, in a sense falls to me from heaven; but I know very well
that every drachm is sweated from human pores. Not, thank goodness,
with the declared tyranny of basest capitalism; I mean only that it
is the product of human labour; perhaps wholesome, but none the less
compulsory. Look far enough, and it means muscular toil, that
swinking of the ruder man which supports all the complex structure of
our life. When I think of him thus, the man of the people earns
my gratitude. That it is gratitude from afar, that I never was,
and never shall be, capable of democratic fervour, is a characteristic
of my mind which I long ago accepted as final. I have known revolt
against the privilege of wealth (can I not remember spots in London
where I have stood, savage with misery, looking at the prosperous folk
who passed?), but I could never feel myself at one with the native poor
among whom I dwelt. And for the simplest reason; I came to know
them too well. He who cultivates his enthusiasm amid graces and
comforts may nourish an illusion with regard to the world below him
all his life long, and I do not deny that he may be the better for it;
for me, no illusion was possible. I knew the poor, and I knew
that their aims were not mine. I knew that the kind of life (such
a modest life!) which I should have accepted as little short of the
ideal, would have been to them—if they could have been made to
understand it—a weariness and a contempt. To ally myself
with them against the “upper world” would have been mere
dishonesty, or sheer despair. What they at heart desired, was
to me barren; what I coveted, was to them for ever incomprehensible.</p>
<p>That my own aim indicated an ideal which is the best for all to pursue,
I am far from maintaining. It may be so, or not; I have long known
the idleness of advocating reform on a basis of personal predilection.
Enough to set my own thoughts in order, without seeking to devise a
new economy for the world. But it is much to see clearly from
one’s point of view, and therein the evil days I have treasured
are of no little help to me. If my knowledge be only subjective,
why, it only concerns myself; I preach to no one. Upon another
man, of origin and education like to mine, a like experience of hardship
might have a totally different effect; he might identify himself with
the poor, burn to the end of his life with the noblest humanitarianism.
I should no further criticize him than to say that he saw with other
eyes than mine. A vision, perhaps, larger and more just.
But in one respect he resembles me. If ever such a man arises,
let him be questioned; it will be found that he once made a meal of
blackberries—and mused upon it.</p>
<h3>XVI.</h3>
<p>I stood to-day watching harvesters at work, and a foolish envy took
hold upon me. To be one of those brawny, brown-necked men, who
can string their muscles from dawn to sundown, and go home without an
ache to the sound slumber which will make them fresh again for to-morrow’s
toil! I am a man in the middle years, with limbs shaped as those
of another, and subject to no prostrating malady, yet I doubt whether
I could endure the lightest part of this field labour even for half
an hour. Is that indeed to be a man? Could I feel surprised
if one of these stalwart fellows turned upon me a look of good-natured
contempt? Yet he would never dream that I envied him; he would
think it as probable, no doubt, that I should compare myself unfavourably
with one of the farm horses.</p>
<p>There comes the old idle dream: balance of mind and body, perfect
physical health combined with the fulness of intellectual vigour.
Why should I not be there in the harvest field, if so it pleased me,
yet none the less live for thought? Many a theorist holds the
thing possible, and looks to its coming in a better time. If so,
two changes must needs come before it; there will no longer exist a
profession of literature, and all but the whole of every library will
be destroyed, leaving only the few books which are universally recognized
as national treasures. Thus, and thus only, can mental and physical
equilibrium ever be brought about.</p>
<p>It is idle to talk to us of “the Greeks.” The people
we mean when so naming them were a few little communities, living under
very peculiar conditions, and endowed by Nature with most exceptional
characteristics. The sporadic civilization which we are too much
in the habit of regarding as if it had been no less stable than brilliant,
was a succession of the briefest splendours, gleaming here and there
from the coasts of the Aegean to those of the western Mediterranean.
Our heritage of Greek literature and art is priceless; the example of
Greek life possesses for us not the slightest value. The Greeks
had nothing alien to study—not even a foreign or a dead language.
They read hardly at all, preferring to listen. They were a slave-holding
people, much given to social amusement, and hardly knowing what we call
industry. Their ignorance was vast, their wisdom a grace of the
gods. Together with their fair intelligence, they had grave moral
weaknesses. If we could see and speak with an average Athenian
of the Periclean age, he would cause no little disappointment—there
would be so much more of the barbarian in him, and at the same time
of the decadent, than we had anticipated. More than possibly,
even his physique would be a disillusion. Leave him in that old
world, which is precious to the imagination of a few, but to the business
and bosoms of the modern multitude irrelevant as Memphis or Babylon.</p>
<p>The man of thought, as we understand him, is all but necessarily
the man of impaired health. The rare exception will be found to
come of a stock which may, indeed, have been distinguished by intelligence,
but represented in all its members the active rather than the studious
or contemplative life; whilst the children of such fortunate thinkers
are sure either to revert to the active type or to exhibit the familiar
sacrifice of body to mind. I am not denying the possibility of
<i>mens sana in corpore sano</i>; that is another thing. Nor do
I speak of the healthy people (happily still numerous) who are at the
same time bright-witted and fond of books. The man I have in view
is he who pursues the things of the mind with passion, who turns impatiently
from all common interests or cares which encroach upon his sacred time,
who is haunted by a sense of the infinity of thought and learning, who,
sadly aware of the conditions on which he holds his mental vitality,
cannot resist the hourly temptation to ignore them. Add to these
native characteristics the frequent fact that such a man must make merchandise
of his attainments, must toil under the perpetual menace of destitution;
and what hope remains that his blood will keep the true rhythm, that
his nerves will play as Nature bade them, that his sinews will bide
the strain of exceptional task? Such a man may gaze with envy
at those who “sweat in the eye of Phoebus,” but he knows
that no choice was offered him. And if life has so far been benignant
as to grant him frequent tranquillity of studious hours, let him look
from the reapers to the golden harvest, and fare on in thankfulness.</p>
<h3>XVII.</h3>
<p>That a labourer in the fields should stand very much on the level
of the beast that toils with him, can be neither desirable nor necessary.
He does so, as a matter of fact, and one hears that only the dullest-witted
peasant will nowadays consent to the peasant life; his children, taught
to read the newspaper, make what haste they can to the land of promise—where
newspapers are printed. That here is something altogether wrong
it needs no evangelist to tell us; the remedy no prophet has as yet
even indicated. Husbandry has in our time been glorified in eloquence
which for the most part is vain, endeavouring, as it does, to prove
a falsity—that the agricultural life is, in itself, favourable
to gentle emotions, to sweet thoughtfulness, and to all the human virtues.
Agriculture is one of the most exhausting forms of toil, and, in itself,
by no means conducive to spiritual development; that it played a civilizing
part in the history of the world is merely due to the fact that, by
creating wealth, it freed a portion of mankind from the labour of the
plough. Enthusiasts have tried the experiment of turning husbandman;
one of them writes of his experience in notable phrase.</p>
<p>“Oh, labour is the curse of the world, and nobody can meddle
with it without becoming proportionately brutified. Is it a praiseworthy
matter that I have spent five golden months in providing food for cows
and horses? It is not so.”</p>
<p>Thus Nathaniel Hawthorne, at Brook Farm. In the bitterness
of his disillusion he went too far. Labour may be, and very often
is, an accursed and a brutalizing thing, but assuredly, it is not the
curse of the world; nay, it is the world’s supreme blessing.
Hawthorne had committed a folly, and he paid for it in loss of mental
balance. For him, plainly, it was no suitable task to feed cows
and horses; yet many a man would perceive the nobler side of such occupation,
for it signifies, of course, providing food for mankind. The interest
of this quotation lies in the fact that, all unconsciously, so intelligent
a man as Hawthorne had been reduced to the mental state of our agricultural
labourers in revolt against the country life. Not only is his
intellect in abeyance, but his emotions have ceased to be a true guide.
The worst feature of the rustic mind in our day, is not its ignorance
or grossness, but its rebellious discontent. Like all other evils,
this is seen to be an inevitable outcome of the condition of things;
one understands it only too well. The bucolic wants to “better”
himself. He is sick of feeding cows and horses; he imagines that,
on the pavement of London, he would walk with a manlier tread.</p>
<p>There is no help in visions of Arcadia; yet it is plain fact that
in days gone by the peasantry found life more than endurable, and yet
were more intelligent than our clod-hoppers who still hold by the plough.
They had their folk-songs, now utterly forgotten. They had romances
and fairy lore, which their descendants could no more appreciate than
an idyll of Theocritus. Ah, but let it be remembered that they
had also a <i>home</i>, and this is the illumining word. If your
peasant love the fields which give him bread, he will not think it hard
to labour in them; his toil will no longer be as that of the beast,
but upward-looking and touched with a light from other than the visible
heavens. No use to blink the hard and dull features of rustic
existence; let them rather be insisted upon, that those who own and
derive profit from the land may be constant in human care for the lives
which make it fruitful. Such care may perchance avail, in some
degree, to counteract the restless tendency of the time; the dweller
in a pleasant cottage is not so likely to wish to wander from it as
he who shelters himself in a hovel. Well-meaning folk talk about
reawakening love of the country by means of deliberate instruction.
Lies any hope that way? Does it seem to promise a return of the
time when the old English names of all our flowers were common on rustic
lips—by which, indeed, they were first uttered? The fact
that flowers and birds are well-nigh forgotten, together with the songs
and the elves, shows how advanced is the process of rural degeneration.
Most likely it is foolishness to hope for the revival of any bygone
social virtue. The husbandman of the future will be, I daresay,
a well-paid mechanic, of the engine-driver species; as he goes about
his work he will sing the last refrain of the music-hall, and his oft-recurring
holidays will be spent in the nearest great town. For him, I fancy,
there will be little attraction in ever such melodious talk about “common
objects of the country.” Flowers, perhaps, at all events
those of tilth and pasture, will have been all but improved away.
And, as likely as not, the word Home will have only a special significance,
indicating the common abode of retired labourers who are drawing old-age
pensions.</p>
<h3>XVIII.</h3>
<p>I cannot close my eyes upon this day without setting down some record
of it; yet the foolish insufficiency of words! At sunrise I looked
forth; nowhere could I discern a cloud the size of a man’s hand;
the leaves quivered gently, as if with joy in the divine morning which
glistened upon their dew. At sunset I stood in the meadow above
my house, and watched the red orb sink into purple mist, whilst in the
violet heaven behind me rose the perfect moon. All between, through
the soft circling of the dial’s shadow, was loveliness and quiet
unutterable. Never, I could fancy, did autumn clothe in such magnificence
the elms and beeches; never, I should think, did the leafage on my walls
blaze in such royal crimson. It was no day for wandering; under
a canopy of blue or gold, where the eye could fall on nothing that was
not beautiful, enough to be at one with Nature in dreamy rest.
From stubble fields sounded the long caw of rooks; a sleepy crowing
ever and anon told of the neighbour farm; my doves cooed above their
cot. Was it for five minutes, or was it for an hour, that I watched
the yellow butterfly wafted as by an insensible tremor of the air amid
the garden glintings? In every autumn there comes one such flawless
day. None that I have known brought me a mind so touched to the
fitting mood of welcome, and so fulfilled the promise of its peace.</p>
<h3>XIX.</h3>
<p>I was at ramble in the lanes, when, from somewhere at a distance,
there sounded the voice of a countryman—strange to say—singing.
The notes were indistinct, but they rose, to my ear, with a moment’s
musical sadness, and of a sudden my heart was stricken with a memory
so keen that I knew not whether it was pain or delight. For the
sound seemed to me that of a peasant’s song which I once heard
whilst sitting among the ruins of Paestum. The English landscape
faded before my eyes. I saw great Doric columns of honey-golden
travertine; between them, as I looked one way, a deep strip of sea;
when I turned, the purple gorges of the Apennine; and all about the
temple, where I sat in solitude, a wilderness dead and still but for
that long note of wailing melody. I had not thought it possible
that here, in my beloved home, where regret and desire are all but unknown
to me, I could have been so deeply troubled by a thought of things far
off. I returned with head bent, that voice singing in my memory.
All the delight I have known in Italian travel burned again within my
heart. The old spell has not lost its power. Never, I know,
will it again draw me away from England; but the Southern sunlight cannot
fade from my imagination, and to dream of its glow upon the ruins of
old time wakes in me the voiceless desire which once was anguish.</p>
<p>In his <i>Italienische Reise</i>, Goethe tells that at one moment
of his life the desire for Italy became to him a scarce endurable suffering;
at length he could not bear to hear or to read of things Italian, even
the sight of a Latin book so tortured him that he turned away from it;
and the day arrived when, in spite of every obstacle, he yielded to
the sickness of longing, and in secret stole away southward. When
first I read that passage, it represented exactly the state of my own
mind; to think of Italy was to feel myself goaded by a longing which,
at times, made me literally ill; I, too, had put aside my Latin books,
simply because I could not endure the torment of imagination they caused
me. And I had so little hope (nay, for years no shadow of reasonable
hope) that I should ever be able to appease my desire. I taught
myself to read Italian; that was something. I worked (half-heartedly)
at a colloquial phrase-book. But my sickness only grew towards
despair.</p>
<p>Then came into my hands a sum of money (such a poor little sum) for
a book I had written. It was early autumn. I chanced to
hear some one speak of Naples—and only death would have held me
back.</p>
<h3>XX.</h3>
<p>Truly, I grow aged. I have no longer much delight in wine.</p>
<p>But then, no wine ever much rejoiced me save that of Italy.
Wine-drinking in England is, after all, only make-believe, a mere playing
with an exotic inspiration. Tennyson had his port, whereto clings
a good old tradition; sherris sack belongs to a nobler age; these drinks
are not for us. Let him who will, toy with dubious Bordeaux or
Burgundy; to get good of them, soul’s good, you must be on the
green side of thirty. Once or twice they have plucked me from
despair; I would not speak unkindly of anything in cask or bottle which
bears the great name of wine. But for me it is a thing of days
gone by. Never again shall I know the mellow hour <i>cum regnat
rosa, cum madent capilli</i>. Yet how it lives in memory!</p>
<p>“What call you this wine?” I asked of the temple-guardian
at Paestum, when he ministered to my thirst. “<i>Vino di
Calabria</i>,” he answered, and what a glow in the name!
There I drank it, seated against the column of Poseidon’s temple.
There I drank it, my feet resting on acanthus, my eyes wandering from
sea to mountain, or peering at little shells niched in the crumbling
surface of the sacred stone. The autumn day declined; a breeze
of evening whispered about the forsaken shore; on the far summit lay
a long, still cloud, and its hue was that of my Calabrian wine.</p>
<p>How many such moments come back to me as my thoughts wander!
Dim little <i>trattorie</i> in city byways, inns smelling of the sun
in forgotten valleys, on the mountain side, or by the tideless shore,
where the grape has given me of its blood, and made life a rapture.
Who but the veriest fanatic of teetotalism would grudge me those hours
so gloriously redeemed? No draught of wine amid the old tombs
under the violet sky but made me for the time a better man, larger of
brain, more courageous, more gentle. ’Twas a revelry whereon
came no repentance. Could I but live for ever in thoughts and
feelings such as those born to me in the shadow of the Italian vine!
There I listened to the sacred poets; there I walked with the wise of
old; there did the gods reveal to me the secret of their eternal calm.
I hear the red rillet as it flows into the rustic glass; I see the purple
light upon the hills. Fill to me again, thou of the Roman visage
and all but Roman speech! Is not yonder the long gleaming of the
Appian Way? Chant in the old measure, the song imperishable</p>
<blockquote><p>“dum Capitolium<br/>
Scandet cum tacita virgine pontifex—”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>aye, and for how many an age when Pontiff and Vestal sleep in the
eternal silence. Let the slave of the iron gods chatter what he
will; for him flows no Falernian, for him the Muses have no smile, no
melody. Ere the sun set, and the darkness fall about us, fill
again!</p>
<h3>XXI.</h3>
<p>Is there, at this moment, any boy of twenty, fairly educated, but
without means, without help, with nothing but the glow in his brain
and steadfast courage in his heart, who sits in a London garret, and
writes for dear life? There must be, I suppose; yet all that I
have read and heard of late years about young writers, shows them in
a very different aspect. No garretteers, these novelists and journalists
awaiting their promotion. They eat—and entertain their critics—at
fashionable restaurants; they are seen in expensive seats at the theatre;
they inhabit handsome flats—photographed for an illustrated paper
on the first excuse. At the worst, they belong to a reputable
club, and have garments which permit them to attend a garden party or
an evening “at home” without attracting unpleasant notice.
Many biographical sketches have I read, during the last decade, making
personal introduction of young Mr. This or young Miss That, whose book
was—as the sweet language of the day will have it—“booming”;
but never one in which there was a hint of stern struggle, of the pinched
stomach and frozen fingers. I surmise that the path of “literature”
is being made too easy. Doubtless it is a rare thing nowadays
for a lad whose education ranks him with the upper middle class to find
himself utterly without resources, should he wish to devote himself
to the profession of letters. And there is the root of the matter;
writing has come to be recognized as a profession, almost as cut-and-dried
as church or law; a lad may go into it with full parental approval,
with ready avuncular support. I heard not long ago of an eminent
lawyer, who had paid a couple of hundred per annum for his son’s
instruction in the art of fiction—yea, the art of fiction—by
a not very brilliant professor of that art. Really, when one comes
to think of it, an astonishing fact, a fact vastly significant.
Starvation, it is true, does not necessarily produce fine literature;
but one feels uneasy about these carpet-authors. To the two or
three who have a measure of conscience and vision, I could wish, as
the best thing, some calamity which would leave them friendless in the
streets. They would perish, perhaps. But set that possibility
against the all but certainty of their present prospect—fatty
degeneration of the soul; and is it not acceptable?</p>
<p>I thought of this as I stood yesterday watching a noble sunset, which
brought back to my memory the sunsets of a London autumn, thirty years
ago; more glorious, it seems to me, than any I have since beheld.
It happened that, on one such evening, I was by the river at Chelsea,
with nothing to do except to feel that I was hungry, and to reflect
that, before morning, I should be hungrier still. I loitered upon
Battersea Bridge—the old picturesque wooden bridge, and there
the western sky took hold upon me. Half an hour later, I was speeding
home. I sat down, and wrote a description of what I had seen,
and straightway sent it to an evening newspaper, which, to my astonishment,
published the thing next day—“On Battersea Bridge.”
How proud I was of that little bit of writing! I should not much
like to see it again, for I thought it then so good that I am sure it
would give me an unpleasant sensation now. Still, I wrote it because
I enjoyed doing so, quite as much as because I was hungry; and the couple
of guineas it brought me had as pleasant a ring as any money I ever
earned.</p>
<h3>XXII.</h3>
<p>I wonder whether it be really true, as I have more than once seen
suggested, that the publication of Anthony Trollope’s autobiography
in some degree accounts for the neglect into which he and his works
fell so soon after his death. I should like to believe it, for
such a fact would be, from one point of view, a credit to “the
great big stupid public.” Only, of course, from one point
of view; the notable merits of Trollope’s work are unaffected
by one’s knowledge of how that work was produced; at his best
he is an admirable writer of the pedestrian school, and this disappearance
of his name does not mean final oblivion. Like every other novelist
of note, he had two classes of admirers—those who read him for
the sake of that excellence which here and there he achieved, and the
undistinguishing crowd which found in him a level entertainment.
But it would be a satisfaction to think that “the great big stupid”
was really, somewhere in its secret economy, offended by that revelation
of mechanical methods which made the autobiography either a disgusting
or an amusing book to those who read it more intelligently. A
man with a watch before his eyes, penning exactly so many words every
quarter of an hour—one imagines that this picture might haunt
disagreeably the thoughts even of Mudie’s steadiest subscriber,
that it might come between him or her and any Trollopean work that lay
upon the counter.</p>
<p>The surprise was so cynically sprung upon a yet innocent public.
At that happy time (already it seems so long ago) the literary news
set before ordinary readers mostly had reference to literary work, in
a reputable sense of the term, and not, as now, to the processes of
“literary” manufacture and the ups and downs of the “literary”
market. Trollope himself tells how he surprised the editor of
a periodical, who wanted a serial from him, by asking how many thousand
words it should run to; an anecdote savouring indeed of good old days.
Since then, readers have grown accustomed to revelations of “literary”
method, and nothing in that kind can shock them. There has come
into existence a school of journalism which would seem to have deliberately
set itself the task of degrading authorship and everything connected
with it; and these pernicious scribblers (or typists, to be more accurate)
have found the authors of a fretful age only too receptive of their
mercantile suggestions. Yes, yes; I know as well as any man that
reforms were needed in the relations between author and publisher.
Who knows better than I that your representative author face to face
with your representative publisher was, is, and ever will be, at a ludicrous
disadvantage? And there is no reason in the nature and the decency
of things why this wrong should not by some contrivance be remedied.
A big, blusterous, genial brute of a Trollope could very fairly hold
his own, and exact at all events an acceptable share in the profits
of his work. A shrewd and vigorous man of business such as Dickens,
aided by a lawyer who was his devoted friend, could do even better,
and, in reaping sometimes more than his publisher, redress the ancient
injustice. But pray, what of Charlotte Brontë? Think
of that grey, pinched life, the latter years of which would have been
so brightened had Charlotte Brontë received but, let us say, one
third of what, in the same space of time, the publisher gained by her
books. I know all about this; alas! no man better. None
the less do I loathe and sicken at the manifold baseness, the vulgarity
unutterable, which, as a result of the new order, is blighting our literary
life. It is not easy to see how, in such an atmosphere, great
and noble books can ever again come into being. May it, perhaps,
be hoped that once again the multitude will be somehow touched with
disgust?—that the market for “literary” news of this
costermonger sort will some day fail?</p>
<p>Dickens. Why, there too was a disclosure of literary methods.
Did not Forster make known to all and sundry exactly how Dickens’
work was done, and how the bargains for its production were made?
The multitudinous public saw him at his desk, learnt how long he sat
there, were told that he could not get on without having certain little
ornaments before his eyes, and that blue ink and a quill pen were indispensable
to his writing; and did all this information ever chill the loyalty
of a single reader? There was a difference, in truth, between
the picture of Charles Dickens sitting down to a chapter of his current
novel, and that of the broad-based Trollope doing his so many words
to the fifteen minutes. Trollope, we know, wronged himself by
the tone and manner of his reminiscences; but that tone and manner indicated
an inferiority of mind, of nature. Dickens—though he died
in the endeavour to increase (not for himself) an already ample fortune,
disastrous influence of his time and class—wrought with an artistic
ingenuousness and fervour such as Trollope could not even conceive.
Methodical, of course, he was; no long work of prose fiction was ever
brought into existence save by methodical labour; but we know that there
was no measuring of so many words to the hour. The picture of
him at work which is seen in his own letters is one of the most bracing
and inspiring in the history of literature. It has had, and will
always have, a great part in maintaining Dickens’ place in the
love and reverence of those who understand.</p>
<h3>XXIII.</h3>
<p>As I walked to-day in the golden sunlight—this warm, still
day on the far verge of autumn—there suddenly came to me a thought
which checked my step, and for the moment half bewildered me.
I said to myself: My life is over. Surely I ought to have been
aware of that simple fact; certainly it has made part of my meditation,
has often coloured my mood; but the thing had never definitely shaped
itself, ready in words for the tongue. My life is over.
I uttered the sentence once or twice, that my ear might test its truth.
Truth undeniable, however strange; undeniable as the figure of my age
last birthday.</p>
<p>My age? At this time of life, many a man is bracing himself
for new efforts, is calculating on a decade or two of pursuit and attainment.
I, too, may perhaps live for some years; but for me there is no more
activity, no ambition. I have had my chance—and I see what
I made of it.</p>
<p>The thought was for an instant all but dreadful. What!
I, who only yesterday was a young man, planning, hoping, looking forward
to life as to a practically endless career, I, who was so vigorous and
scornful, have come to this day of definite retrospect? How is
it possible? But, I have done nothing; I have had no time; I have
only been preparing myself—a mere apprentice to life. My
brain is at some prank; I am suffering a momentary delusion; I shall
shake myself, and return to common sense—to my schemes and activities
and eager enjoyments.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, my life is over.</p>
<p>What a little thing! I knew how the philosophers had spoken;
I repeated their musical phrases about the mortal span—yet never
till now believed them. And this is all? A man’s life
can be so brief and so vain? Idly would I persuade myself that
life, in the true sense, is only now beginning; that the time of sweat
and fear was not life at all, and that it now only depends upon my will
to lead a worthy existence. That may be a sort of consolation,
but it does not obscure the truth that I shall never again see possibilities
and promises opening before me. I have “retired,”
and for me as truly as for the retired tradesman, life is over.
I can look back upon its completed course, and what a little thing!
I am tempted to laugh; I hold myself within the limit of a smile.</p>
<p>And that is best, to smile, not in scorn, but in all forbearance,
without too much self-compassion. After all, that dreadful aspect
of the thing never really took hold of me; I could put it by without
much effort. Life is done—and what matter? Whether
it has been, in sum, painful or enjoyable, even now I cannot say—a
fact which in itself should prevent me from taking the loss too seriously.
What does it matter? Destiny with the hidden face decreed that
I should come into being, play my little part, and pass again into silence;
is it mine either to approve or to rebel? Let me be grateful that
I have suffered no intolerable wrong, no terrible woe of flesh or spirit,
such as others—alas! alas!—have found in their lot.
Is it not much to have accomplished so large a part of the mortal journey
with so much ease? If I find myself astonished at its brevity
and small significance, why, that is my own fault; the voices of those
gone before had sufficiently warned me. Better to see the truth
now, and accept it, than to fall into dread surprise on some day of
weakness, and foolishly to cry against fate. I will be glad rather
than sorry, and think of the thing no more.</p>
<h3>XXIV.</h3>
<p>Waking at early dawn used to be one of the things I most dreaded.
The night which made me capable of resuming labour had brought no such
calm as should follow upon repose; I woke to a vision of the darkest
miseries and lay through the hours of daybreak—too often—in
very anguish. But that is past. Sometimes, ere yet I know
myself, the mind struggles as with an evil spirit on the confines of
sleep; then the light at my window, the pictures on my walls, restore
me to happy consciousness, happier for the miserable dream. Now,
when I lie thinking, my worst trouble is wonder at the common life of
man. I see it as a thing so incredible that it oppresses the mind
like a haunting illusion. Is it the truth that men are fretting,
raving, killing each other, for matters so trivial that I, even I, so
far from saint or philosopher, must needs fall into amazement when I
consider them? I could imagine a man who, by living alone and
at peace, came to regard the everyday world as not really existent,
but a creation of his own fancy in unsound moments. What lunatic
ever dreamt of things less consonant with the calm reason than those
which are thought and done every minute in every community of men called
sane? But I put aside this reflection as soon as may be; it perturbs
me fruitlessly. Then I listen to the sounds about my cottage,
always soft, soothing, such as lead the mind to gentle thoughts.
Sometimes I can hear nothing; not the rustle of a leaf, not the buzz
of a fly, and then I think that utter silence is best of all.</p>
<p>This morning I was awakened by a continuous sound which presently
shaped itself to my ear as a multitudinous shrilling of bird voices.
I knew what it meant. For the last few days I have seen the swallows
gathering, now they were ranged upon my roof, perhaps in the last council
before their setting forth upon the great journey. I know better
than to talk about animal instinct, and to wonder in a pitying way at
its resemblance to reason. I know that these birds show to us
a life far more reasonable, and infinitely more beautiful, than that
of the masses of mankind. They talk with each other, and in their
talk is neither malice nor folly. Could one but interpret the
converse in which they make their plans for the long and perilous flight—and
then compare it with that of numberless respectable persons who even
now are projecting their winter in the South!</p>
<h3>XXV.</h3>
<p>Yesterday I passed by an elm avenue, leading to a beautiful old house.
The road between the trees was covered in all its length and breadth
with fallen leaves—a carpet of pale gold. Further on, I
came to a plantation, mostly of larches; it shone in the richest aureate
hue, with here and there a splash of blood-red, which was a young beech
in its moment of autumnal glory.</p>
<p>I looked at an alder, laden with brown catkins, its blunt foliage
stained with innumerable shades of lovely colour. Near it was
a horse-chestnut, with but a few leaves hanging on its branches, and
those a deep orange. The limes, I see, are already bare.</p>
<p>To-night the wind is loud, and rain dashes against my casement; to-morrow
I shall awake to a sky of winter.</p>
<h2>WINTER</h2>
<h3>I.</h3>
<p>Blasts from the Channel, with raining scud, and spume of mist breaking
upon the hills, have kept me indoors all day. Yet not for a moment
have I been dull or idle, and now, by the latter end of a sea-coal fire,
I feel such enjoyment of my ease and tranquillity that I must needs
word it before going up to bed.</p>
<p>Of course one ought to be able to breast weather such as this of
to-day, and to find one’s pleasure in the strife with it.
For the man sound in body and serene of mind there is no such thing
as bad weather; every sky has its beauty, and storms which whip the
blood do but make it pulse more vigorously. I remember the time
when I would have set out with gusto for a tramp along the wind-swept
and rain-beaten roads; nowadays, I should perhaps pay for the experiment
with my life. All the more do I prize the shelter of these good
walls, the honest workmanship which makes my doors and windows proof
against the assailing blast. In all England, the land of comfort,
there is no room more comfortable than this in which I sit. Comfortable
in the good old sense of the word, giving solace to the mind no less
than ease to the body. And never does it look more homely, more
a refuge and a sanctuary, than on winter nights.</p>
<p>In my first winter here, I tried fires of wood, having had my hearth
arranged for the purpose; but that was a mistake. One cannot burn
logs successfully in a small room; either the fire, being kept moderate,
needs constant attention, or its triumphant blaze makes the room too
hot. A fire is a delightful thing, a companion and an inspiration.
If my room were kept warm by some wretched modern contrivance of water-pipes
or heated air, would it be the same to me as that beautiful core of
glowing fuel, which, if I sit and gaze into it, becomes a world of wonders?
Let science warm the heaven-forsaken inhabitants of flats and hotels
as effectually and economically as it may; if the choice were forced
upon me, I had rather sit, like an Italian, wrapped in my mantle, softly
stirring with a key the silver-grey surface of the brasier’s charcoal.
They tell me we are burning all our coal, and with wicked wastefulness.
I am sorry for it, but I cannot on that account make cheerless perhaps
the last winter of my life. There may be waste on domestic hearths,
but the wickedness is elsewhere—too blatant to call for indication.
Use common sense, by all means, in the construction of grates; that
more than half the heat of the kindly coal should be blown up the chimney
is desired by no one; but hold by the open fire as you hold by whatever
else is best in England. Because, in the course of nature, it
will be some day a thing of the past (like most other things that are
worth living for), is that a reason why it should not be enjoyed as
long as possible? Human beings may ere long take their nourishment
in the form of pills; the prevision of that happy economy causes me
no reproach when I sit down to a joint of meat.</p>
<p>See how friendly together are the fire and the shaded lamp; both
have their part alike in the illumining and warming of the room.
As the fire purrs and softly crackles, so does my lamp at intervals
utter a little gurgling sound when the oil flows to the wick, and custom
has made this a pleasure to me. Another sound, blending with both,
is the gentle ticking of the clock. I could not endure one of
those bustling little clocks which tick like a fever pulse, and are
only fit for a stockbroker’s office; mine hums very slowly, as
though it savoured the minutes no less than I do; and when it strikes,
the little voice is silver-sweet, telling me without sadness that another
hour of life is reckoned, another of the priceless hours—</p>
<blockquote><p>“Quae nobis pereunt et imputantur.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>After extinguishing the lamp, and when I have reached the door, I
always turn to look back; my room is so cosily alluring in the light
of the last gleeds, that I do not easily move away. The warm glow
is reflected on shining wood, on my chair, my writing-table, on the
bookcases, and from the gilt title of some stately volume; it illumes
this picture, it half disperses the gloom on that. I could imagine
that, as in a fairy tale, the books do but await my departure to begin
talking among themselves. A little tongue of flame shoots up from
a dying ember; shadows shift upon the ceiling and the walls. With
a sigh of utter contentment, I go forth, and shut the door softly.</p>
<h3>II.</h3>
<p>I came home this afternoon just at twilight, and, feeling tired after
my walk, a little cold too, I first crouched before the fire, then let
myself drop lazily upon the hearthrug. I had a book in my hand,
and began to read it by the firelight. Rising in a few minutes,
I found the open page still legible by the pale glimmer of day.
This sudden change of illumination had an odd effect upon me; it was
so unexpected, for I had forgotten that dark had not yet fallen.
And I saw in the queer little experience an intellectual symbol.
The book was verse. Might not the warm rays from the fire exhibit
the page as it appears to an imaginative and kindred mind, whilst that
cold, dull light from the window showed it as it is beheld by eyes to
which poetry has but a poor, literal meaning, or none at all?</p>
<h3>III.</h3>
<p>It is a pleasant thing enough to be able to spend a little money
without fear when the desire for some indulgence is strong upon one;
but how much pleasanter the ability to give money away! Greatly
as I relish the comforts of my wonderful new life, no joy it has brought
me equals that of coming in aid to another’s necessity.
The man for ever pinched in circumstances can live only for himself.
It is all very well to talk about doing moral good; in practice, there
is little scope or hope for anything of that kind in a state of material
hardship. To-day I have sent S--- a cheque for fifty pounds; it
will come as a very boon of heaven, and assuredly blesseth him that
gives as much as him that takes. A poor fifty pounds, which the
wealthy fool throws away upon some idle or base fantasy, and never thinks
of it; yet to S--- it will mean life and light. And I, to whom
this power of benefaction is such a new thing, sign the cheque with
a hand trembling, so glad and proud I am. In the days gone by,
I have sometimes given money, but with trembling of another kind; it
was as likely as not that I myself, some black foggy morning, might
have to go begging for my own dire needs. That is one of the bitter
curses of poverty; it leaves no right to be generous. Of my abundance—abundance
to me, though starveling pittance in the view of everyday prosperity—I
can give with happiest freedom; I feel myself a man, and no crouching
slave with his back ever ready for the lash of circumstance. There
are those, I know, who thank the gods amiss, and most easily does this
happen in the matter of wealth. But oh, how good it is to desire
little, and to have a little more than enough!</p>
<h3>IV.</h3>
<p>After two or three days of unseasonable and depressing warmth, with
lowering but not rainy sky, I woke this morning to find the land covered
with a dense mist. There was no daybreak, and, till long after
the due hour, no light save a pale, sad glimmer at the window; now,
at mid-day, I begin dimly to descry gaunt shapes of trees, whilst a
haunting drip, drip on the garden soil tells me that the vapour has
begun to condense, and will pass in rain. But for my fire, I should
be in indifferent spirits on such a day as this; the flame sings and
leaps, and its red beauty is reflected in the window-glass. I
cannot give my thoughts to reading; if I sat unoccupied, they would
brood with melancholy fixedness on I know not what. Better to
betake myself to the old mechanic exercise of the pen, which cheats
my sense of time wasted.</p>
<p>I think of fogs in London, fogs of murky yellow or of sheer black,
such as have often made all work impossible to me, and held me, a sort
of dyspeptic owl, in moping and blinking idleness. On such a day,
I remember, I once found myself at an end both of coal and of lamp-oil,
with no money to purchase either; all I could do was to go to bed, meaning
to lie there till the sky once more became visible. But a second
day found the fog dense as ever. I rose in darkness; I stood at
the window of my garret, and saw that the street was illumined as at
night, lamps and shop-fronts perfectly visible, with folk going about
their business. The fog, in fact, had risen, but still hung above
the house-tops, impermeable by any heavenly beam. My solitude
being no longer endurable, I went out, and walked the town for hours.
When I returned, it was with a few coins which permitted me to buy warmth
and light. I had sold to a second-hand bookseller a volume which
I prized, and was so much the poorer for the money in my pocket.</p>
<p>Years after that, I recall another black morning. As usual
at such times, I was suffering from a bad cold. After a sleepless
night, I fell into a torpor, which held me unconscious for an hour or
two. Hideous cries aroused me; sitting up in the dark, I heard
men going along the street, roaring news of a hanging that had just
taken place. “Execution of Mrs.”—I forget the
name of the murderess. “Scene on the scaffold!”
It was a little after nine o’clock; the enterprising paper had
promptly got out its gibbet edition. A morning of midwinter, roofs
and ways covered with soot-grimed snow under the ghastly fog-pall; and,
whilst I lay there in my bed, that woman had been led out and hanged—hanged.
I thought with horror of the possibility that I might sicken and die
in that wilderness of houses, nothing above me but “a foul and
pestilent congregation of vapours.” Overcome with dread,
I rose and bestirred myself. Blinds drawn, lamp lit, and by a
blazing fire, I tried to make believe that it was kindly night.</p>
<h3>V.</h3>
<p>Walking along the road after nightfall, I thought all at once of
London streets, and, by a freak of mind, wished I were there.
I saw the shining of shop-fronts, the yellow glistening of a wet pavement,
the hurrying people, the cabs, the omnibuses—and I wished I were
amid it all.</p>
<p>What did it mean, but that I wished I were young again? Not
seldom I have a sudden vision of a London street, perhaps the dreariest
and ugliest, which for a moment gives me a feeling of home-sickness.
Often it is the High Street of Islington, which I have not seen for
a quarter of a century, at least; no thoroughfare in all London less
attractive to the imagination, one would say; but I see myself walking
there—walking with the quick, light step of youth, and there,
of course, is the charm. I see myself, after a long day of work
and loneliness, setting forth from my lodging. For the weather
I care nothing; rain, wind, fog—what does it matter! The
fresh air fills my lungs; my blood circles rapidly; I feel my muscles,
and have a pleasure in the hardness of the stone I tread upon.
Perhaps I have money in my pocket; I am going to the theatre, and, afterwards,
I shall treat myself to supper—sausage and mashed potatoes, with
a pint of foaming ale. The gusto with which I look forward to
each and every enjoyment! At the pit-door, I shall roll and hustle
amid the throng, and find it amusing. Nothing tires me.
Late at night, I shall walk all the way back to Islington, most likely
singing as I go. Not because I am happy—nay, I am anything
but that; but my age is something and twenty; I am strong and well.</p>
<p>Put me in a London street this chill, damp night, and I should be
lost in barren discomfort. But in those old days, if I am not
mistaken, I rather preferred the seasons of bad weather; I had, in fact,
the true instinct of townsfolk, which finds pleasure in the triumph
of artificial circumstance over natural conditions, delighting in a
glare and tumult of busy life under hostile heavens which, elsewhere,
would mean shivering ill-content. The theatre, at such a time,
is doubly warm and bright; every shop is a happy harbour of refuge—there,
behind the counter, stand persons quite at their ease, ready to chat
as they serve you; the supper bars make tempting display under their
many gas-jets; the public houses are full of people who all have money
to spend. Then clangs out the piano-organ—and what could
be cheerier!</p>
<p>I have much ado to believe that I really felt so. But then,
if life had not somehow made itself tolerable to me, how should I have
lived through those many years? Human creatures have a marvellous
power of adapting themselves to necessity. Were I, even now, thrown
back into squalid London, with no choice but to abide and work there—should
I not abide and work? Notwithstanding thoughts of the chemist’s
shop, I suppose I should.</p>
<h3>VI.</h3>
<p>One of the shining moments of my day is that when, having returned
a little weary from an afternoon walk, I exchange boots for slippers,
out-of-doors coat for easy, familiar, shabby jacket, and, in my deep,
soft-elbowed chair, await the tea-tray. Perhaps it is while drinking
tea that I most of all enjoy the sense of leisure. In days gone
by, I could but gulp down the refreshment, hurried, often harassed,
by the thought of the work I had before me; often I was quite insensible
of the aroma, the flavour, of what I drank. Now, how delicious
is the soft yet penetrating odour which floats into my study, with the
appearance of the teapot! What solace in the first cup, what deliberate
sipping of that which follows! What a glow does it bring after
a walk in chilly rain! The while, I look around at my books and
pictures, tasting the happiness of their tranquil possession.
I cast an eye towards my pipe; perhaps I prepare it, with seeming thoughtfulness,
for the reception of tobacco. And never, surely, is tobacco more
soothing, more suggestive of humane thoughts, than when it comes just
after tea—itself a bland inspirer.</p>
<p>In nothing is the English genius for domesticity more notably declared
than in the institution of this festival—almost one may call it
so—of afternoon tea. Beneath simple roofs, the hour of tea
has something in it of sacred; for it marks the end of domestic work
and worry, the beginning of restful, sociable evening. The mere
chink of cups and saucers tunes the mind to happy repose. I care
nothing for your five o’clock tea of modish drawing-rooms, idle
and wearisome like all else in which that world has part; I speak of
tea where one is at home in quite another than the worldly sense.
To admit mere strangers to your tea-table is profanation; on the other
hand, English hospitality has here its kindliest aspect; never is friend
more welcome than when he drops in for a cup of tea. Where tea
is really a meal, with nothing between it and nine o’clock supper,
it is—again in the true sense—the <i>homeliest</i> meal
of the day. Is it believable that the Chinese, in who knows how
many centuries, have derived from tea a millionth part of the pleasure
or the good which it has brought to England in the past one hundred
years?</p>
<p>I like to look at my housekeeper when she carries in the tray.
Her mien is festal, yet in her smile there is a certain gravity, as
though she performed an office which honoured her. She has dressed
for the evening; that is to say, her clean and seemly attire of working
hours is exchanged for garments suitable to fireside leisure; her cheeks
are warm, for she has been making fragrant toast. Quickly her
eye glances about my room, but only to have the pleasure of noting that
all is in order; inconceivable that anything serious should need doing
at this hour of the day. She brings the little table within the
glow of the hearth, so that I can help myself without changing my easy
position. If she speaks, it will only be a pleasant word or two;
should she have anything important to say, the moment will be <i>after</i>
tea, not before it; this she knows by instinct. Perchance she
may just stoop to sweep back a cinder which has fallen since, in my
absence, she looked after the fire; it is done quickly and silently.
Then, still smiling, she withdraws, and I know that she is going to
enjoy her own tea, her own toast, in the warm, comfortable, sweet-smelling
kitchen.</p>
<h3>VII.</h3>
<p>One has heard much condemnation of the English kitchen. Our
typical cook is spoken of as a gross, unimaginative creature, capable
only of roasting or seething. Our table is said to be such as
would weary or revolt any but gobbet-bolting carnivores. We are
told that our bread is the worst in Europe, an indigestible paste; that
our vegetables are diet rather for the hungry animal than for discriminative
man; that our warm beverages, called coffee and tea, are so carelessly
or ignorantly brewed that they preserve no simple virtue of the drink
as it is known in other lands. To be sure, there is no lack of
evidence to explain such censure. The class which provides our
servants is undeniably coarse and stupid, and its handiwork of every
kind too often bears the native stamp. For all that, English victuals
are, in quality, the best in the world, and English cookery is the wholesomest
and the most appetizing known to any temperate clime.</p>
<p>As in so many other of our good points, we have achieved this thing
unconsciously. Your ordinary Englishwoman engaged in cooking probably
has no other thought than to make the food masticable; but reflect on
the results, when the thing is well done, and there appears a culinary
principle. Nothing could be simpler, yet nothing more right and
reasonable. The aim of English cooking is so to deal with the
raw material of man’s nourishment as to bring out, for the healthy
palate, all its natural juices and savours. And in this, when
the cook has any measure of natural or acquired skill, we most notably
succeed. Our beef is veritably beef; at its best, such beef as
can be eaten in no other country under the sun; our mutton is mutton
in its purest essence—think of a shoulder of Southdown at the
moment when the first jet of gravy starts under the carving knife!
Each of our vegetables yields its separate and characteristic sweetness.
It never occurs to us to disguise the genuine flavour of food; if such
a process be necessary, then something is wrong with the food itself.
Some wiseacre scoffed at us as the people with only one sauce.
The fact is, we have as many sauces as we have kinds of meat; each,
in the process of cookery, yields its native sap, and this is the best
of all sauces conceivable. Only English folk know what is meant
by <i>gravy</i>; consequently, the English alone are competent to speak
on the question of sauce.</p>
<p>To be sure, this culinary principle presupposes food of the finest
quality. If your beef and your mutton have flavours scarcely distinguishable,
whilst both this and that might conceivably be veal, you will go to
work in quite a different way; your object must then be to disguise,
to counterfeit, to add an alien relish—in short, to do anything
<i>except</i> insist upon the natural quality of the viand. Happily,
the English have never been driven to these expedients. Be it
flesh, fowl, or fish, each comes to table so distinctly and eminently
itself that by no possibility could it be confused with anything else.
Give your average cook a bit of cod, and tell her to dress it in her
own way. The good creature will carefully boil it, and there an
end of the matter; and by no exercise of art could she have so treated
the fish as to make more manifest and enjoyable that special savour
which heaven has bestowed upon cod. Think of our array of joints;
how royal is each in its own way, and how utterly unlike any of the
others. Picture a boiled leg of mutton. It is mutton, yes,
and mutton of the best; nature has bestowed upon man no sweeter morsel;
but the same joint roasted is mutton too, and how divinely different!
The point is that these differences are natural; that, in eliciting
them, we obey the eternal law of things, and no human caprice.
Your artificial relish is here not only needless, but offensive.</p>
<p>In the case of veal, we demand “stuffing.” Yes,
for veal is a somewhat insipid meat, and by experience we have discovered
the best method of throwing into relief such inherent goodness as it
has. The stuffing does not disguise, nor seek to disguise; it
accentuates. Good veal stuffing—reflect!—is in itself
a triumph of culinary instinct; so bland it is, and yet so powerful
upon the gastric juices.</p>
<p>Did I call veal insipid? I must add that it is only so in comparison
with English beef and mutton. When I think of the “brown”
on the edge of a really fine cut of veal—!</p>
<h3>VIII.</h3>
<p>As so often when my thought has gone forth in praise of things English,
I find myself tormented by an after-thought—the reflection that
I have praised a time gone by. Now, in this matter of English
meat. A newspaper tells me that English beef is non-existent;
that the best meat bearing that name has merely been fed up in England
for a short time before killing. Well, well; we can only be thankful
that the quality is still so good. Real English mutton still exists,
I suppose. It would surprise me if any other country could produce
the shoulder I had yesterday.</p>
<p>Who knows? Perhaps even our own cookery has seen its best days.
It is a lamentable fact that the multitude of English people nowadays
never taste roasted meat; what they call by that name is baked in the
oven—a totally different thing, though it may, I admit, be inferior
only to the right roast. Oh, the sirloin of old times, the sirloin
which I can remember, thirty or forty years ago! That was English,
and no mistake, and all the history of civilization could show nothing
on the table of mankind to equal it. To clap that joint into a
steamy oven would have been a crime unpardonable by gods and man.
Have I not with my own eyes seen it turning, turning on the spit?
The scent it diffused was in itself a cure for dyspepsia.</p>
<p>It is very long since I tasted a slice of boiled beef; I have a suspicion
that the thing is becoming rare. In a household such as mine,
the “round” is impracticable; of necessity it must be large,
altogether too large for our requirements. But what exquisite
memories does my mind preserve! The very colouring of a round,
how rich it is, yet how delicate, and how subtly varied! The odour
is totally distinct from that of roast beef, and yet it is beef incontestable.
Hot, of course with carrots, it is a dish for a king; but cold it is
nobler. Oh, the thin broad slice, with just its fringe of consistent
fat!</p>
<p>We are sparing of condiments, but such as we use are the best that
man has invented. And we know <i>how</i> to use them. I
have heard an impatient innovator scoff at the English law on the subject
of mustard, and demand why, in the nature of things, mustard should
not be eaten with mutton. The answer is very simple; this law
has been made by the English palate—which is impeccable.
I maintain it is impeccable! Your educated Englishman is an infallible
guide in all that relates to the table. “The man of superior
intellect,” said Tennyson—justifying his love of boiled
beef and new potatoes—“knows what is good to eat”;
and I would extend it to all civilized natives of our country.
We are content with nothing but the finest savours, the truest combinations;
our wealth, and happy natural circumstances, have allowed us an education
of the palate of which our natural aptitude was worthy. Think,
by the bye, of those new potatoes, just mentioned. Our cook, when
dressing them, puts into the saucepan a sprig of mint. This is
genius. No otherwise could the flavour of the vegetable be so
perfectly, yet so delicately, emphasized. The mint is there, and
we know it; yet our palate knows only the young potato.</p>
<h3>IX.</h3>
<p>There is to me an odd pathos in the literature of vegetarianism.
I remember the day when I read these periodicals and pamphlets with
all the zest of hunger and poverty, vigorously seeking to persuade myself
that flesh was an altogether superfluous, and even a repulsive, food.
If ever such things fall under my eyes nowadays, I am touched with a
half humorous compassion for the people whose necessity, not their will,
consents to this chemical view of diet. There comes before me
a vision of certain vegetarian restaurants, where, at a minim outlay,
I have often enough made believe to satisfy my craving stomach; where
I have swallowed “savoury cutlet,” “vegetable steak,”
and I know not what windy insufficiencies tricked up under specious
names. One place do I recall where you had a complete dinner for
sixpence—I dare not try to remember the items. But well
indeed do I see the faces of the guests—poor clerks and shopboys,
bloodless girls and women of many sorts—all endeavouring to find
a relish in lentil soup and haricot something-or-other. It was
a grotesquely heart-breaking sight.</p>
<p>I hate with a bitter hatred the names of lentils and haricots—those
pretentious cheats of the appetite, those tabulated humbugs, those certificated
aridities calling themselves human food! An ounce of either, we
are told, is equivalent to—how many pounds?—of the best
rump-steak. There are not many ounces of common sense in the brain
of him who proves it, or of him who believes it. In some countries,
this stuff is eaten by choice; in England only dire need can compel
to its consumption. Lentils and haricots are not merely insipid;
frequent use of them causes something like nausea. Preach and
tabulate as you will, the English palate—which is the supreme
judge—rejects this farinaceous makeshift. Even as it rejects
vegetables without the natural concomitant of meat; as it rejects oatmeal-porridge
and griddle-cakes for a mid-day meal; as it rejects lemonade and ginger-ale
offered as substitutes for honest beer.</p>
<p>What is the intellectual and moral state of that man who really believes
that chemical analysis can be an equivalent for natural gusto?—I
will get more nourishment out of an inch of right Cambridge sausage;
aye, out of a couple of ounces of honest tripe; than can be yielded
me by half a hundredweight of the best lentils ever grown.</p>
<h3>X.</h3>
<p>Talking of vegetables, can the inhabited globe offer anything to
vie with the English potato justly steamed? I do not say that
it is always—or often—to be seen on our tables, for the
steaming of a potato is one of the great achievements of culinary art;
but, when it <i>is</i> set before you, how flesh and spirit exult!
A modest palate will find more than simple comfort in your boiled potato
of every day, as served in the decent household. New or old, it
is beyond challenge delectable. Try to think that civilized nations
exist to whom this food is unknown—nay, who speak of it, on hearsay,
with contempt! Such critics, little as they suspect it, never
ate a potato in their lives. What they have swallowed under that
name was the vegetable with all its exquisite characteristics vulgarized
or destroyed. Picture the “ball of flour” (as old-fashioned
housewives call it) lying in the dish, diffusing the softest, subtlest
aroma, ready to crumble, all but to melt, as soon as it is touched;
recall its gust and its after-gust, blending so consummately with that
of the joint, hot or cold. Then think of the same potato cooked
in any other way, and what sadness will come upon you!</p>
<h3>XI.</h3>
<p>It angers me to pass a grocer’s shop, and see in the window
a display of foreign butter. This is the kind of thing that makes
one gloom over the prospects of England. The deterioration of
English butter is one of the worst signs of the moral state of our people.
Naturally, this article of food would at once betray a decline in the
virtues of its maker; butter must be a subject of the dairyman’s
honest pride, or there is no hope of its goodness. Begin to save
your labour, to aim at dishonest profits, to feel disgust or contempt
for your work—and the churn declares every one of these vices.
They must be very prevalent, for it is getting to be a rare thing to
eat English butter which is even tolerable. What! England
dependent for dairy-produce upon France, Denmark, America? Had
we but one true statesman—but one genuine leader of the people—the
ears of English landowners and farmers would ring and tingle with this
proof of their imbecility.</p>
<p>Nobody cares. Who cares for anything but the show and bluster
which are threatening our ruin? English food, not long ago the
best in the world, is falling off in quality, and even our national
genius for cooking shows a decline; to anyone who knows England, these
are facts significant enough. Foolish persons have prated about
“our insular cuisine,” demanding its reform on Continental
models, and they have found too many like unto themselves who were ready
to listen; the result will be, before long, that our excellence will
be forgotten, and paltry methods be universally introduced, together
with the indifferent viands to which they are suited. Yet, if
any generality at all be true, it is a plain fact that English diet
and English virtue—in the largest sense of the word—are
inseparably bound together.</p>
<p>Our supremacy in this matter of the table came with little taking
of thought; what we should now do is to reflect upon the things which
used to be instinctive, perceive the reasons of our excellence, and
set to work to re-establish it. Of course the vilest cooking in
the kingdom is found in London; is it not with the exorbitant growth
of London that many an ill has spread over the land? London is
the antithesis of the domestic ideal; a social reformer would not even
glance in that direction, but would turn all his zeal upon small towns
and country districts, where blight may perhaps be arrested, and whence,
some day, a reconstituted national life may act upon the great centre
of corruption. I had far rather see England covered with schools
of cookery than with schools of the ordinary kind; the issue would be
infinitely more hopeful. Little girls should be taught cooking
and baking more assiduously than they are taught to read. But
with ever in view the great English principle—that food is only
cooked aright when it yields the utmost of its native and characteristic
savour. Let sauces be utterly forbidden—save the natural
sauce made of gravy. In the same way with sweets; keep in view
the insurpassable English ideals of baked tarts (or pies, if so you
call them), and boiled puddings; as they are the wholesomest, so are
they the most delicious of sweet cakes yet invented; it is merely a
question of having them well made and cooked. Bread, again; we
are getting used to bread of poor quality, and ill-made, but the English
loaf at its best—such as you were once sure of getting in every
village—is the faultless form of the staff of life. Think
of the glorious revolution that could be wrought in our troubled England
if it could be ordained that no maid, of whatever rank, might become
a wife unless she had proved her ability to make and bake a perfect
loaf of bread.</p>
<h3>XII.</h3>
<p>The good S--- writes me a kindly letter. He is troubled by
the thought of my loneliness. That I should choose to live in
such a place as this through the summer, he can understand; but surely
I should do better to come to town for the winter? How on earth
do I spend the dark days and the long evenings?</p>
<p>I chuckle over the good S---’s sympathy. Dark days are
few in happy Devon, and such as befall have never brought me a moment’s
tedium. The long, wild winter of the north would try my spirits;
but here, the season that follows autumn is merely one of rest, Nature’s
annual slumber. And I share in the restful influence. Often
enough I pass an hour in mere drowsing by the fireside; frequently I
let my book drop, satisfied to muse. But more often than not the
winter day is blest with sunshine—the soft beam which is Nature’s
smile in dreaming. I go forth, and wander far. It pleases
me to note changes of landscape when the leaves have fallen; I see streams
and ponds which during summer were hidden; my favourite lanes have an
unfamiliar aspect, and I become better acquainted with them. Then,
there is a rare beauty in the structure of trees ungarmented; and if
perchance snow or frost have silvered their tracery against the sober
sky, it becomes a marvel which never tires.</p>
<p>Day by day I look at the coral buds on the lime-tree. Something
of regret will mingle with my joy when they begin to break.</p>
<p>In the middle years of my life—those years that were the worst
of all—I used to dread the sound of a winter storm which woke
me in the night. Wind and rain lashing the house filled me with
miserable memories and apprehensions; I lay thinking of the savage struggle
of man with man, and often saw before me no better fate than to be trampled
down into the mud of life. The wind’s wail seemed to me
the voice of a world in anguish; rain was the weeping of the feeble
and the oppressed. But nowadays I can lie and listen to a night-storm
with no intolerable thoughts; at worst, I fall into a compassionate
sadness as I remember those I loved and whom I shall see no more.
For myself, there is even comfort in the roaring dark; for I feel the
strength of the good walls about me, and my safety from squalid peril
such as pursued me through all my labouring life. “Blow,
blow, thou winter wind!” Thou canst not blow away the modest
wealth which makes my security. Nor can any “rain upon the
roof” put my soul to question; for life has given me all I ever
asked—infinitely more than I ever hoped—and in no corner
of my mind does there lurk a coward fear of death.</p>
<h3>XIII.</h3>
<p>If some stranger from abroad asked me to point out to him the most
noteworthy things in England, I should first of all consider his intellect.
Were he a man of everyday level, I might indicate for his wonder and
admiration Greater London, the Black Country, South Lancashire, and
other features of our civilization which, despite eager rivalry, still
maintain our modern pre-eminence in the creation of ugliness.
If, on the other hand, he seemed a man of brains, it would be my pleasure
to take him to one of those old villages, in the midlands or the west,
which lie at some distance from a railway station, and in aspect are
still untouched by the baser tendencies of the time. Here, I would
tell my traveller, he saw something which England alone can show.
The simple beauty of the architecture, its perfect adaptation to the
natural surroundings, the neatness of everything though without formality,
the general cleanness and good repair, the grace of cottage gardens,
that tranquillity and security which make a music in the mind of him
who gazes—these are what a man must see and feel if he would appreciate
the worth and the power of England. The people which has made
for itself such homes as these is distinguished, above all things, by
its love of order; it has understood, as no other people, the truth
that “order is heaven’s first law.” With order
it is natural to find stability, and the combination of these qualities,
as seen in domestic life, results in that peculiarly English product,
our name for which—though but a pale shadow of the thing itself—has
been borrowed by other countries: comfort.</p>
<p>Then Englishman’s need of “comfort” is one of his
best characteristics; the possibility that he may change in this respect,
and become indifferent to his old ideal of physical and mental ease,
is the gravest danger manifest in our day. For “comfort,”
mind you, does not concern the body alone; the beauty and orderliness
of an Englishman’s home derive their value, nay, their very existence,
from the spirit which directs his whole life. Walk from the village
to the noble’s mansion. It, too, is perfect of its kind;
it has the dignity of age, its walls are beautiful, the gardens, the
park about it are such as can be found only in England, lovely beyond
compare; and all this represents the same moral characteristics as the
English cottage, but with greater activities and responsibilities.
If the noble grow tired of his mansion, and, letting it to some crude
owner of millions, go to live in hotels and hired villas; if the cottager
sicken of his village roof, and transport himself to the sixth floor
of a “block” in Shoreditch; one sees but too well that the
one and the other have lost the old English sense of comfort, and, in
losing it, have suffered degradation alike as men and as citizens.
It is not a question of exchanging one form of comfort for another;
the instinct which made an Englishman has in these cases perished.
Perhaps it is perishing from among us altogether, killed by new social
and political conditions; one who looks at villages of the new type,
at the working-class quarters of towns, at the rising of “flats”
among the dwellings of the wealthy, has little choice but to think so.
There may soon come a day when, though the word “comfort”
continues to be used in many languages, the thing it signifies will
be discoverable nowhere at all.</p>
<h3>XIV.</h3>
<p>If the ingenious foreigner found himself in some village of manufacturing
Lancashire, he would be otherwise impressed. Here something of
the power of England might be revealed to him, but of England’s
worth, little enough. Hard ugliness would everywhere assail his
eyes; the visages and voices of the people would seem to him thoroughly
akin to their surroundings. Scarcely could one find, in any civilized
nation, a more notable contrast than that between these two English
villages and their inhabitants.</p>
<p>Yet Lancashire is English, and there among the mill chimneys, in
the hideous little street, folk are living whose domestic thoughts claim
undeniable kindred with those of the villagers of the kinder south.
But to understand how “comfort,” and the virtues it implies,
can exist amid such conditions, one must penetrate to the hearthside;
the door must be shut, the curtain drawn; here “home” does
not extend beyond the threshold. After all, this grimy row of
houses, ugliest that man ever conceived, is more representative of England
to-day than the lovely village among the trees and meadows. More
than a hundred years ago, power passed from the south of England to
the north. The vigorous race on the other side of Trent only found
its opportunity when the age of machinery began; its civilization, long
delayed, differs in obvious respects from that of older England.
In Sussex or in Somerset, however dull and clownish the typical inhabitant,
he plainly belongs to an ancient order of things, represents an immemorial
subordination. The rude man of the north is—by comparison—but
just emerged from barbarism, and under any circumstances would show
less smooth a front. By great misfortune, he has fallen under
the harshest lordship the modern world has known—that of scientific
industrialism, and all his vigorous qualities are subdued to a scheme
of life based upon the harsh, the ugly, the sordid. His racial
heritage, of course, marks him to the eye; even as ploughman or shepherd,
he differs notably from him of the same calling in the weald or on the
downs. But the frank brutality of the man in all externals has
been encouraged, rather than mitigated, by the course his civilization
has taken, and hence it is that, unless one knows him well enough to
respect him, he seems even yet stamped with the half-savagery of his
folk as they were a century and a half ago. His fierce shyness,
his arrogant self-regard, are notes of a primitive state. Naturally,
he never learnt to house himself as did the Southerner, for climate,
as well as social circumstance, was unfavourable to all the graces of
life. And now one can only watch the encroachment of his rule
upon that old, that true England whose strength and virtue were so differently
manifested. This fair broad land of the lovely villages signifies
little save to the antiquary, the poet, the painter. Vainly, indeed,
should I show its beauty and its peace to the observant foreigner; he
would but smile, and, with a glance at the traction-engine just coming
along the road, indicate the direction of his thoughts.</p>
<h3>XV.</h3>
<p>Nothing in all Homer pleases me more than the bedstead of Odysseus.
I have tried to turn the passage describing it into English verse, thus:—</p>
<blockquote><p>Here in my garth a goodly olive grew;<br/>
Thick was the noble leafage of its prime,<br/>
And like a carven column rose the trunk.<br/>
This tree about I built my chamber walls,<br/>
Laying great stone on stone, and roofed them well,<br/>
And in the portal set a comely door,<br/>
Stout-hinged and tightly closing. Then with axe<br/>
I lopped the leafy olive’s branching head,<br/>
And hewed the bole to four-square shapeliness,<br/>
And smoothed it, craftsmanlike, and grooved and pierced,<br/>
Making the rooted timber, where it grew,<br/>
A corner of my couch. Labouring on,<br/>
I fashioned all the bed-frame; which complete,<br/>
The wood I overlaid with shining gear<br/>
Of gold, of silver, and of ivory.<br/>
And last, between the endlong beams I stretched<br/>
Stout thongs of ox-hide, dipped in purple dye.</p>
<p><i>Odyssey</i>, xxiii. 190-201.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Did anyone ever imitate the admirable precedent? Were I a young
man, and an owner of land, assuredly I would do so. Choose some
goodly tree, straight-soaring; cut away head and branches; leave just
the clean trunk and build your house about it in such manner that the
top of the rooted timber rises a couple of feet above your bedroom floor.
The trunk need not be manifest in the lower part of the house, but I
should prefer to have it so; I am a tree-worshipper; it should be as
the visible presence of a household god. And how could one more
nobly symbolize the sacredness of Home? There can be no home without
the sense of permanence, and without home there is no civilization—as
England will discover when the greater part of her population have become
flat-inhabiting nomads. In some ideal commonwealth, one can imagine
the Odyssean bed a normal institution, every head of a household, cottager
or lord (for the commonwealth must have its lords, go to!), lying down
to rest, as did his fathers, in the Chamber of the Tree. This,
one fancies, were a somewhat more fitting nuptial chamber than the chance
bedroom of a hotel. Odysseus building his home is man performing
a supreme act of piety; through all the ages that picture must retain
its profound significance. Note the tree he chose, the olive,
sacred to Athena, emblem of peace. When he and the wise goddess
meet together to scheme destruction of the princes, they sit ιερης
παρα πυθμεν ελαιης.
Their talk is of bloodshed, true; but in punishment of those who have
outraged the sanctity of the hearth, and to re-establish, after purification,
domestic calm and security. It is one of the dreary aspects of
modern life that natural symbolism has all but perished. We have
no consecrated tree. The oak once held a place in English hearts,
but who now reveres it?—our trust is in gods of iron. Money
is made at Christmas out of holly and mistletoe, but who save the vendors
would greatly care if no green branch were procurable? One symbol,
indeed, has obscured all others—the minted round of metal.
And one may safely say that, of all the ages since a coin first became
the symbol of power, ours is that in which it yields to the majority
of its possessors the poorest return in heart’s contentment.</p>
<h3>XVI.</h3>
<p>I have been dull to-day, haunted by the thought of how much there
is that I would fain know, and how little I can hope to learn.
The scope of knowledge has become so vast. I put aside nearly
all physical investigation; to me it is naught, or only, at moments,
a matter of idle curiosity. This would seem to be a considerable
clearing of the field; but it leaves what is practically the infinite.
To run over a list of only my favourite subjects, those to which, all
my life long, I have more or less applied myself, studies which hold
in my mind the place of hobbies, is to open vistas of intellectual despair.
In an old note-book I jotted down such a list—“things I
hope to know, and to know well.” I was then four and twenty.
Reading it with the eyes of fifty-four, I must needs laugh. There
appear such modest items as “The history of the Christian Church
up to the Reformation”—“all Greek poetry”—“The
field of Mediaeval Romance”—“German literature from
Lessing to Heine”—“Dante!” Not one of
these shall I ever “know, and know well”; not any one of
them. Yet here I am buying books which lead me into endless paths
of new temptation. What have I to do with Egypt? Yet I have
been beguiled by Flinders Petrie and by Maspéro. How can
I pretend to meddle with the ancient geography of Asia Minor?
Yet here have I bought Prof. Ramsay’s astonishing book, and have
even read with a sort of troubled enjoyment a good many pages of it;
troubled, because I have but to reflect a moment, and I see that all
this kind of thing is mere futile effort of the intellect when the time
for serious intellectual effort is over.</p>
<p>It all means, of course, that, owing to defective opportunity, owing,
still more perhaps, to lack of method and persistence, a possibility
that was in me has been wasted, lost. My life has been merely
tentative, a broken series of false starts and hopeless new beginnings.
If I allowed myself to indulge that mood, I could revolt against the
ordinance which allows me no second chance. <i>O mihi praeteritos
referat si Jupiter annos</i>! If I could but start again, with
only the experience there gained! I mean, make a new beginning
of my intellectual life; nothing else, O heaven! nothing else.
Even amid poverty, I could do so much better; keeping before my eyes
some definite, some not unattainable, good; sternly dismissing the impracticable,
the wasteful.</p>
<p>And, in doing so, become perhaps an owl-eyed pedant, to whom would
be for ever dead the possibility of such enjoyment as I know in these
final years. Who can say? Perhaps the sole condition of
my progress to this state of mind and heart which make my happiness
was that very stumbling and erring which I so regret.</p>
<h3>XVII.</h3>
<p>Why do I give so much of my time to the reading of history?
Is it in any sense profitable to me? What new light can I hope
for on the nature of man? What new guidance for the direction
of my own life through the few years that may remain to me? But
it is with no such purpose that I read these voluminous books; they
gratify—or seem to gratify—a mere curiosity; and scarcely
have I closed a volume, when the greater part of what I have read in
it is forgotten.</p>
<p>Heaven forbid that I should remember all! Many a time I have
said to myself that I would close the dreadful record of human life,
lay it for ever aside, and try to forget it. Somebody declares
that history is a manifestation of the triumph of good over evil.
The good prevails now and then, no doubt, but how local and transitory
is such triumph. If historic tomes had a voice, it would sound
as one long moan of anguish. Think steadfastly of the past, and
one sees that only by defect of imaginative power can any man endure
to dwell with it. History is a nightmare of horrors; we relish
it, because we love pictures, and because all that man has suffered
is to man rich in interest. But make real to yourself the vision
of every blood-stained page—stand in the presence of the ravening
conqueror, the savage tyrant—tread the stones of the dungeon and
of the torture-room—feel the fire of the stake—hear the
cries of that multitude which no man can number, the victims of calamity,
of oppression, of fierce injustice in its myriad forms, in every land,
in every age—and what joy have you of your historic reading?
One would need to be a devil to understand it thus, and yet to delight
in it.</p>
<p>Injustice—there is the loathed crime which curses the memory
of the world. The slave doomed by his lord’s caprice to
perish under tortures—one feels it a dreadful and intolerable
thing; but it is merely the crude presentment of what has been done
and endured a million times in every stage of civilization. Oh,
the last thoughts of those who have agonized unto death amid wrongs
to which no man would give ear! That appeal of innocence in anguish
to the hard, mute heavens! Were there only one such instance in
all the chronicles of time, it should doom the past to abhorred oblivion.
Yet injustice, the basest, the most ferocious, is inextricable from
warp and woof in the tissue of things gone by. And if anyone soothes
himself with the reflection that such outrages can happen no more, that
mankind has passed beyond such hideous possibility, he is better acquainted
with books than with human nature.</p>
<p>It were wiser to spend my hours with the books which bring no aftertaste
of bitterness—with the great poets whom I love, with the thinkers,
with the gentle writers of pages that soothe and tranquillize.
Many a volume regards me from the shelf as though reproachfully; shall
I never again take it in my hands? Yet the words are golden, and
I would fain treasure them all in my heart’s memory. Perhaps
the last fault of which I shall cure myself is that habit of mind which
urges me to seek knowledge. Was I not yesterday on the point of
ordering a huge work of erudition, which I should certainly never have
read through, and which would only have served to waste precious days?
It is the Puritan in my blood, I suppose, which forbids me to recognise
frankly that all I have now to do is to <i>enjoy</i>. This is
wisdom. The time for acquisition has gone by. I am not foolish
enough to set myself learning a new language; why should I try to store
my memory with useless knowledge of the past?</p>
<p>Come, once more before I die I will read <i>Don Quixote</i>.</p>
<h3>XVIII.</h3>
<p>Somebody has been making a speech, reported at a couple of columns’
length in the paper. As I glance down the waste of print, one
word catches my eye again and again. It’s all about “science”—and
therefore doesn’t concern me.</p>
<p>I wonder whether there are many men who have the same feeling with
regard to “science” as I have? It is something more
than a prejudice; often it takes the form of a dread, almost a terror.
Even those branches of science which are concerned with things that
interest me—which deal with plants and animals and the heaven
of stars—even these I cannot contemplate without uneasiness, a
spiritual disaffection; new discoveries, new theories, however they
engage my intelligence, soon weary me, and in some way depress.
When it comes to other kinds of science—the sciences blatant and
ubiquitous—the science by which men become millionaires—I
am possessed with an angry hostility, a resentful apprehension.
This was born in me, no doubt; I cannot trace it to circumstances of
my life, or to any particular moment of my mental growth. My boyish
delight in Carlyle doubtless nourished the temper, but did not Carlyle
so delight me because of what was already in my mind? I remember,
as a lad, looking at complicated machinery with a shrinking uneasiness
which, of course, I did not understand; I remember the sort of disturbed
contemptuousness with which, in my time of “examinations,”
I dismissed “science papers.” It is intelligible enough
to me, now, that unformed fear: the ground of my antipathy has grown
clear enough. I hate and fear “science” because of
my conviction that, for long to come if not for ever, it will be the
remorseless enemy of mankind. I see it destroying all simplicity
and gentleness of life, all the beauty of the world; I see it restoring
barbarism under a mask of civilization; I see it darkening men’s
minds and hardening their hearts; I see it bringing a time of vast conflicts,
which will pale into insignificance “the thousand wars of old,”
and, as likely as not, will whelm all the laborious advances of mankind
in blood-drenched chaos.</p>
<p>Yet to rail against it is as idle as to quarrel with any other force
of nature. For myself, I can hold apart, and see as little as
possible of the thing I deem accursed. But I think of some who
are dear to me, whose life will be lived in the hard and fierce new
age. The roaring “Jubilee” of last summer was for
me an occasion of sadness; it meant that so much was over and gone—so
much of good and noble, the like of which the world will not see again,
and that a new time of which only the perils are clearly visible, is
rushing upon us. Oh, the generous hopes and aspirations of forty
years ago! Science, then, was seen as the deliverer; only a few
could prophesy its tyranny, could foresee that it would revive old evils
and trample on the promises of its beginning. This is the course
of things; we must accept it. But it is some comfort to me that
I—poor little mortal—have had no part in bringing the tyrant
to his throne.</p>
<h3>XIX.</h3>
<p>The Christmas bells drew me forth this morning. With but half-formed
purpose, I walked through soft, hazy sunshine towards the city, and
came into the Cathedral Close, and, after lingering awhile, heard the
first notes of the organ, and so entered. I believe it is more
than thirty years since I was in an English church on Christmas Day.
The old time and the old faces lived again for me; I saw myself on the
far side of the abyss of years—that self which is not myself at
all, though I mark points of kindred between the beings of then and
now. He who in that other world sat to hear the Christmas gospel,
either heeded it not at all—rapt in his own visions—or listened
only as one in whose blood was heresy. He loved the notes of the
organ, but, even in his childish mind, distinguished clearly between
the music and its local motive. More than that, he could separate
the melody of word and of thought from their dogmatic significance,
enjoying the one whilst wholly rejecting the other. “On
earth peace, good-will to men”—already that line was among
the treasures of his intellect, but only, no doubt, because of its rhythm,
its sonority. Life, to him, was a half-conscious striving for
the harmonic in thought and speech—and through what a tumult of
unmelodious circumstance was he beginning to fight his way!</p>
<p>To-day, I listen with no heretical promptings. The music, whether
of organ or of word, is more to me than ever; the literal meaning causes
me no restiveness. I felt only glad that I had yielded to the
summons of the Christmas bells. I sat among a congregation of
shadows, not in the great cathedral, but in a little parish church far
from here. When I came forth, it astonished me to see the softly
radiant sky, and to tread on the moist earth; my dream expected a wind-swept
canopy of cold grey, and all beneath it the gleam of new-fallen snow.
It is a piety to turn awhile and live with the dead, and who can so
well indulge it as he whose Christmas is passed in no unhappy solitude?
I would not now, if I might, be one of a joyous company; it is better
to hear the long-silent voices, and to smile at happy things which I
alone can remember. When I was scarce old enough to understand,
I heard read by the fireside the Christmas stanzas of “In Memoriam.”
To-night I have taken down the volume, and the voice of so long ago
has read to me once again—read as no other ever did, that voice
which taught me to know poetry, the voice which never spoke to me but
of good and noble things. Would I have those accents overborne
by a living tongue, however welcome its sound at another time?
Jealously I guard my Christmas solitude.</p>
<h3>XX.</h3>
<p>Is it true that the English are deeply branded with the vice of hypocrisy?
The accusation, of course, dates from the time of the Round-heads; before
that, nothing in the national character could have suggested it.
The England of Chaucer, the England of Shakespeare, assuredly was not
hypocrite. The change wrought by Puritanism introduced into the
life of the people that new element which ever since, more or less notably,
has suggested to the observer a habit of double-dealing in morality
and religion. The scorn of the Cavalier is easily understood;
it created a traditional Cromwell, who, till Carlyle arose, figured
before the world as our arch-dissembler. With the decline of genuine
Puritanism came that peculiarly English manifestation of piety and virtue
which is represented by Mr. Pecksniff—a being so utterly different
from Tartufe, and perhaps impossible to be understood save by Englishmen
themselves. But it is in our own time that the familiar reproach
has been persistently levelled at us. It often sounds upon the
lips of our emancipated youth; it is stereotyped for daily impression
in the offices of Continental newspapers. And for the reason one
has not far to look. When Napoleon called us a “nation of
shop-keepers,” we were nothing of the kind; since his day we have
become so, in the strictest sense of the word; and consider the spectacle
of a flourishing tradesman, anything but scrupulous in his methods of
business, who loses no opportunity of bidding all mankind to regard
him as a religious and moral exemplar. This is the actual show
of things with us; this is the England seen by our bitterest censors.
There is an excuse for those who charge us with “hypocrisy.”</p>
<p>But the word is ill-chosen, and indicates a misconception.
The characteristic of your true hypocrite is the assumption of a virtue
which not only he has not, but which he is incapable of possessing,
and in which he does not believe. The hypocrite may have, most
likely has, (for he is a man of brains,) a conscious rule of life, but
it is never that of the person to whom his hypocrisy is directed.
Tartufe incarnates him once for all. Tartufe is by conviction
an atheist and a sensualist; he despises all who regard life from the
contrasted point of view. But among Englishmen such an attitude
of mind has always been extremely rare; to presume it in our typical
money-maker who has edifying sentiments on his lips is to fall into
a grotesque error of judgment. No doubt that error is committed
by the ordinary foreign journalist, a man who knows less than little
of English civilization. More enlightened critics, if they use
the word at all, do so carelessly; when speaking with more precision,
they call the English “pharisaic”—and come nearer
the truth.</p>
<p>Our vice is self-righteousness. We are essentially an Old Testament
people; Christianity has never entered into our soul we see ourselves
as the Chosen, and by no effort of spiritual aspiration can attain unto
humility. In this there is nothing hypocritic. The blatant
upstart who builds a church, lays out his money in that way not merely
to win social consideration; in his curious little soul he believes
(so far as he can believe anything) that what he has done is pleasing
to God and beneficial to mankind. He may have lied and cheated
for every sovereign he possesses; he may have polluted his life with
uncleanness; he may have perpetrated many kinds of cruelty and baseness—but
all these things has he done against his conscience, and, as soon as
the opportunity comes, he will make atonement for them in the way suggested
by such faith as he has, the way approved by public opinion. His
religion, strictly defined, is <i>an ineradicable belief in his own
religiousness</i>. As an Englishman, he holds as birthright the
true Piety, the true Morals. That he has “gone wrong”
is, alas, undeniable, but never—even when leering most satirically—did
he deny his creed. When, at public dinners and elsewhere, he tuned
his voice to the note of edification, this man did not utter the lie
of the hypocrite he <i>meant every word he said</i>. Uttering
high sentiments, he spoke, not as an individual, but as an Englishman,
and most thoroughly did he believe that all who heard him owed in their
hearts allegiance to the same faith. He is, if you like, a Pharisee—but
do not misunderstand; his Pharisaism has nothing personal. That
would be quite another kind of man; existing, to be sure, in England,
but not as a national type. No; he is a Pharisee in the minor
degree with regard to those of his countrymen who differ from him in
dogma; he is Pharisee absolute with regard to the foreigner. And
there he stands, representing an Empire.</p>
<p>The word hypocrisy is perhaps most of all applied to our behaviour
in matters of sexual morality, and here with specially flagrant misuse.
Multitudes of Englishmen have thrown aside the national religious dogma,
but very few indeed have abandoned the conviction that the rules of
morality publicly upheld in England are the best known in the world.
Any one interested in doing so can but too easily demonstrate that English
social life is no purer than that of most other countries. Scandals
of peculiar grossness, at no long intervals, give rich opportunity to
the scoffer. The streets of our great towns nightly present an
exhibition the like of which cannot be seen elsewhere in the world.
Despite all this, your average Englishman takes for granted his country’s
moral superiority, and loses no chance of proclaiming it at the expense
of other peoples. To call him hypocrite, is simply not to know
the man. He may, for his own part, be gross-minded and lax of
life; that has nothing to do with the matter; <i>he believes in virtue</i>.
Tell him that English morality is mere lip-service, and he will blaze
with as honest anger as man ever felt. He is a monument of self-righteousness,
again not personal but national.</p>
<h4>XXI.</h4>
<p>I make use of the present tense, but am I speaking truly of present
England? Such powerful agencies of change have been at work during
the last thirty years; and it is difficult, nay impossible, to ascertain
in what degree they have affected the national character, thus far.
One notes the obvious: decline of conventional religion, free discussion
of the old moral standards; therewith, a growth of materialism which
favours every anarchic tendency. Is it to be feared that self-righteousness
may be degenerating into the darker vice of true hypocrisy? For
the English to lose belief in themselves—not merely in their potential
goodness, but in their pre-eminence as examples and agents of good—would
mean as hopeless a national corruption as any recorded in history.
To doubt their genuine worship, in the past, of a very high (though
not, of course, the highest) ethical ideal, is impossible for any one
born and bred in England; no less impossible to deny that those who
are rightly deemed “best” among us, the men and women of
gentle or humble birth who are not infected by the evils of the new
spirit, still lead, in a very true sense, “honest, sober, and
godly” lives. Such folk, one knows, were never in a majority,
but of old they had a power which made them veritable representatives
of the English <i>ethos</i>. If they thought highly of themselves,
why, the fact justified them; if they spoke, at times, as Pharisees,
it was a fault of temper which carried with it no grave condemnation.
Hypocrisy was, of all forms of baseness, that which they most abhorred.
So is it still with their descendants. Whether these continue
to speak among us with authority, no man can certainly say. If
their power is lost, and those who talk of English hypocrisy no longer
use the word amiss, we shall soon know it.</p>
<h3>XXII.</h3>
<p>It is time that we gave a second thought to Puritanism. In
the heyday of release from forms which had lost their meaning, it was
natural to look back on that period of our history with eyes that saw
in it nothing but fanatical excess; we approved the picturesque phrase
which showed the English mind going into prison and having the key turned
upon it. Now, when the peril of emancipation becomes as manifest
as was the hardship of restraint, we shall do well to remember all the
good that lay in that stern Puritan discipline, how it renewed the spiritual
vitality of our race, and made for the civic freedom which is our highest
national privilege. An age of intellectual glory is wont to be
paid for in the general decline of that which follows. Imagine
England under Stuart rule, with no faith but the Protestantism of the
Tudor. Imagine (not to think of worse) English literature represented
by Cowley, and the name of Milton unknown. The Puritan came as
the physician; he brought his tonic at the moment when lassitude and
supineness would naturally have followed upon a supreme display of racial
vitality. Regret, if you will, that England turned for her religion
to the books of Israel; this suddenly revealed sympathy of our race
with a fierce Oriental theocracy is perhaps not difficult to explain,
but one cannot help wishing that its piety had taken another form; later,
there had to come the “exodus from Houndsditch,” with how
much conflict and misery! Such, however, was the price of the
soul’s health; we must accept the fact, and be content to see
its better meaning. Health, of course, in speaking of mankind,
is always a relative term. From the point of view of a conceivable
civilization, Puritan England was lamentably ailing; but we must always
ask, not how much better off a people might be, but how much worse.
Of all theological systems, the most convincing is Manicheism, which,
of course, under another name, was held by the Puritans themselves.
What we call Restoration morality—the morality, that is to say,
of a king and court—might well have become that of the nation
at large under a Stuart dynasty safe from religious revolution.</p>
<p>The political services of Puritanism were inestimable; they will
be more feelingly remembered when England has once more to face the
danger of political tyranny. I am thinking now of its effects
upon social life. To it we owe the characteristic which, in some
other countries, is expressed by the term English prudery, the accusation
implied being part of the general charge of hypocrisy. It is said
by observers among ourselves that the prudish habit of mind is dying
out, and this is looked upon as a satisfactory thing, as a sign of healthy
emancipation. If by prude be meant a secretly vicious person who
affects an excessive decorum, by all means let the prude disappear,
even at the cost of some shamelessness. If, on the other hand,
a prude is one who, living a decent life, cultivates, either by bent
or principle, a somewhat extreme delicacy of thought and speech with
regard to elementary facts of human nature, then I say that this is
most emphatically a fault in the right direction, and I have no desire
to see its prevalence diminish. On the whole, it is the latter
meaning which certain foreigners have in mind when they speak of English
prudery—at all events, as exhibited by women; it being, not so
much an imputation on chastity, as a charge of conceited foolishness.
An English woman who typifies the <i>bégueule</i> may be spotless
as snow; but she is presumed to have snow’s other quality, and
at the same time to be a thoroughly absurd and intolerable creature.
Well, here is the point of difference. Fastidiousness of speech
is not a direct outcome of Puritanism, as our literature sufficiently
proves; it is a refinement of civilization following upon absorption
into the national life of all the best things which Puritanism had to
teach. We who know English women by the experience of a lifetime
are well aware that their careful choice of language betokens, far more
often than not, a corresponding delicacy of mind. Landor saw it
as a ridiculous trait that English people were so mealy-mouthed in speaking
of their bodies; De Quincey, taking him to task for this remark, declared
it a proof of blunted sensibility due to long residence in Italy; and,
whether the particular explanation held good or not, as regards the
question at issue, De Quincey was perfectly right. It is very
good to be mealy-mouthed with respect to everything that reminds us
of the animal in man. Verbal delicacy in itself will not prove
an advanced civilization, but civilization, as it advances, assuredly
tends that way.</p>
<h3>XXIII.</h3>
<p>All through the morning, the air was held in an ominous stillness.
Sitting over my books, I seemed to feel the silence; when I turned my
look to the window, I saw nothing but the broad, grey sky, a featureless
expanse, cold, melancholy. Later, just as I was bestirring myself
to go out for an afternoon walk, something white fell softly across
my vision. A few minutes more, and all was hidden with a descending
veil of silent snow.</p>
<p>It is a disappointment. Yesterday I half believed that the
winter drew to its end; the breath of the hills was soft; spaces of
limpid azure shone amid slow-drifting clouds, and seemed the promise
of spring. Idle by the fireside, in the gathering dusk, I began
to long for the days of light and warmth. My fancy wandered, leading
me far and wide in a dream of summer England. . . .</p>
<p>This is the valley of the Blythe. The stream ripples and glances
over its brown bed warmed with sunbeams; by its bank the green flags
wave and rustle, and, all about, the meadows shine in pure gold of buttercups.
The hawthorn hedges are a mass of gleaming blossom, which scents the
breeze. There above rises the heath, yellow-mantled with gorse,
and beyond, if I walk for an hour or two, I shall come out upon the
sandy cliffs of Suffolk, and look over the northern sea. . . .</p>
<p>I am in Wensleydale, climbing from the rocky river that leaps amid
broad pastures up to the rolling moor. Up and up, till my feet
brush through heather, and the grouse whirrs away before me. Under
a glowing sky of summer, this air of the uplands has still a life which
spurs to movement, which makes the heart bound. The dale is hidden;
I see only the brown and purple wilderness, cutting against the blue
with great round shoulders, and, far away to the west, an horizon of
sombre heights. . . .</p>
<p>I ramble through a village in Gloucestershire, a village which seems
forsaken in this drowsy warmth of the afternoon. The houses of
grey stone are old and beautiful, telling of a time when Englishmen
knew how to build whether for rich or poor; the gardens glow with flowers,
and the air is delicately sweet. At the village end, I come into
a lane, which winds upwards between grassy slopes, to turf and bracken
and woods of noble beech. Here I am upon a spur of the Cotswolds,
and before me spreads the wide vale of Evesham, with its ripening crops,
its fruiting orchards, watered by sacred Avon. Beyond, softly
blue, the hills of Malvern. On the branch hard by warbles a little
bird, glad in his leafy solitude. A rabbit jumps through the fern.
There sounds the laugh of a woodpecker from the copse in yonder hollow.
. . .</p>
<p>In the falling of a summer night, I walk by Ullswater. The
sky is still warm with the afterglow of sunset, a dusky crimson smouldering
above the dark mountain line. Below me spreads a long reach of
the lake, steel-grey between its dim colourless shores. In the
profound stillness, the trotting of a horse beyond the water sounds
strangely near; it serves only to make more sensible the repose of Nature
in this her sanctuary. I feel a solitude unutterable, yet nothing
akin to desolation; the heart of the land I love seems to beat in the
silent night gathering around me; amid things eternal, I touch the familiar
and the kindly earth. Moving, I step softly, as though my footfall
were an irreverence. A turn in the road, and there is wafted to
me a faint perfume, that of meadow-sweet. Then I see a light glimmering
in the farmhouse window—a little ray against the blackness of
the great hillside, below which the water sleeps. . . .</p>
<p>A pathway leads me by the winding of the river Ouse. Far on
every side stretches a homely landscape, tilth and pasture, hedgerow
and clustered trees, to where the sky rests upon the gentle hills.
Slow, silent, the river lapses between its daisied banks, its grey-green
osier beds. Yonder is the little town of St. Neots. In all
England no simpler bit of rural scenery; in all the world nothing of
its kind more beautiful. Cattle are lowing amid the rich meadows.
Here one may loiter and dream in utter restfulness, whilst the great
white clouds mirror themselves in the water as they pass above. . .
.</p>
<p>I am walking upon the South Downs. In the valleys, the sun
lies hot, but here sings a breeze which freshens the forehead and fills
the heart with gladness. My foot upon the short, soft turf has
an unwearied lightness; I feel capable of walking on and on, even to
that farthest horizon where the white cloud casts its floating shadow.
Below me, but far off, is the summer sea, still, silent, its ever-changing
blue and green dimmed at the long limit with luminous noontide mist.
Inland spreads the undulant vastness of the sheep-spotted downs, beyond
them the tillage and the woods of Sussex weald, coloured like to the
pure sky above them, but in deeper tint. Near by, all but hidden
among trees in yon lovely hollow, lies an old, old hamlet, its brown
roofs decked with golden lichen; I see the low church-tower, and the
little graveyard about it. Meanwhile, high in the heaven, a lark
is singing. It descends; it drops to its nest, and I could dream
that half the happiness of its exultant song was love of England. .
. .</p>
<p>It is all but dark. For a quarter of an hour I must have been
writing by a glow of firelight reflected on to my desk; it seemed to
me the sun of summer. Snow is still falling. I see its ghostly
glimmer against the vanishing sky. To-morrow it will be thick
upon my garden, and perchance for several days. But when it melts,
when it melts, it will leave the snowdrop. The crocus, too, is
waiting, down there under the white mantle which warms the earth.</p>
<h3>XXIV.</h3>
<p>Time is money—says the vulgarest saw known to any age or people.
Turn it round about, and you get a precious truth—money is time.
I think of it on these dark, mist-blinded mornings, as I come down to
find a glorious fire crackling and leaping in my study. Suppose
I were so poor that I could not afford that heartsome blaze, how different
the whole day would be! Have I not lost many and many a day of
my life for lack of the material comfort which was necessary to put
my mind in tune? Money is time. With money I buy for cheerful
use the hours which otherwise would not in any sense be mine; nay, which
would make me their miserable bondsman. Money is time, and, heaven
be thanked, there needs so little of it for this sort of purchase.
He who has overmuch is wont to be as badly off in regard to the true
use of money, as he who has not enough. What are we doing all
our lives but purchasing, or trying to purchase, time? And most
of us, having grasped it with one hand, throw it away with the other.</p>
<h3>XXV.</h3>
<p>The dark days are drawing to an end. Soon it will be spring
once more; I shall go out into the fields, and shake away these thoughts
of discouragement and fear which have lately too much haunted my fireside.
For me, it is a virtue to be self-centred; I am much better employed,
from every point of view, when I live solely for my own satisfaction,
than when I begin to worry about the world. The world frightens
me, and a frightened man is no good for anything. I know only
one way in which I could have played a meritorious part as an active
citizen—by becoming a schoolmaster in some little country town,
and teaching half a dozen teachable boys to love study for its own sake.
That I could have done, I daresay. Yet, no; for I must have had
as a young man the same mind that I have in age, devoid of idle ambitions,
undisturbed by unattainable ideals. Living as I do now, I deserve
better of my country than at any time in my working life; better, I
suspect, than most of those who are praised for busy patriotism.</p>
<p>Not that I regard my life as an example for any one else; all I say
is, that it is good for me, and in so far an advantage to the world.
To live in quiet content is surely a piece of good citizenship.
If you can do more, do it, and God-speed! I know myself for an
exception. And I ever find it a good antidote to gloomy thoughts
to bring before my imagination the lives of men, utterly unlike me in
their minds and circumstances, who give themselves with glad and hopeful
energy to the plain duties that lie before them. However one’s
heart may fail in thinking of the folly and baseness which make so great
a part of to-day’s world, remember how many bright souls are living
courageously, seeing the good wherever it may be discovered, undismayed
by portents, doing what they have to do with all their strength.
In every land there are such, no few of them, a great brotherhood, without
distinction of race or faith; for they, indeed, constitute the race
of man, rightly designated, and their faith is one, the cult of reason
and of justice. Whether the future is to them or to the talking
anthropoid, no one can say. But they live and labour, guarding
the fire of sacred hope.</p>
<p>In my own country, dare I think that they are fewer than of old?
Some I have known; they give me assurance of the many, near and far.
Hearts of noble strain, intrepid, generous; the clear head, the keen
eye; a spirit equal alike to good fortune and to ill. I see the
true-born son of England, his vigour and his virtues yet unimpaired.
In his blood is the instinct of honour, the scorn of meanness; he cannot
suffer his word to be doubted, and his hand will give away all he has
rather than profit by a plebeian parsimony. He is frugal only
of needless speech. A friend staunch to the death; tender with
a grave sweetness to those who claim his love; passionate, beneath stoic
seeming, for the causes he holds sacred. A hater of confusion
and of idle noise, his place is not where the mob presses; he makes
no vaunt of what he has done, no boastful promise of what he will do;
when the insensate cry is loud, the counsel of wisdom overborne, he
will hold apart, content with plain work that lies nearest to his hand,
building, strengthening, whilst others riot in destruction. He
was ever hopeful, and deems it a crime to despair of his country.
“Non, si male nunc, et olim sic erit.” Fallen on whatever
evil days and evil tongues, he remembers that Englishman of old, who,
under every menace, bore right onwards; and like him, if so it must
be, can make it his duty and his service to stand and wait.</p>
<h3>XXVI.</h3>
<p>Impatient for the light of spring, I have slept lately with my blind
drawn up, so that at waking, I have the sky in view. This morning,
I awoke just before sunrise. The air was still; a faint flush
of rose to westward told me that the east made fair promise. I
could see no cloud, and there before me, dropping to the horizon, glistened
the horned moon.</p>
<p>The promise held good. After breakfast, I could not sit down
by the fireside; indeed, a fire was scarce necessary; the sun drew me
forth, and I walked all the morning about the moist lanes, delighting
myself with the scent of earth.</p>
<p>On my way home, I saw the first celandine.</p>
<p>So, once more, the year has come full circle. And how quickly;
alas, how quickly! Can it be a whole twelvemonth since the last
spring? Because I am so content with life, must life slip away,
as though it grudged me my happiness? Time was when a year drew
its slow length of toil and anxiety and ever frustrate waiting.
Further away, the year of childhood seemed endless. It is familiarity
with life that makes time speed quickly. When every day is a step
in the unknown, as for children, the days are long with gathering of
experience; the week gone by is already far in retrospect of things
learnt, and that to come, especially if it foretell some joy, lingers
in remoteness. Past mid-life, one learns little and expects little.
To-day is like unto yesterday, and to that which shall be the morrow.
Only torment of mind or body serves to delay the indistinguishable hours.
Enjoy the day, and, behold, it shrinks to a moment.</p>
<p>I could wish for many another year; yet, if I knew that not one more
awaited me, I should not grumble. When I was ill at ease in the
world, it would have been hard to die; I had lived to no purpose, that
I could discover; the end would have seemed abrupt and meaningless.
Now, my life is rounded; it began with the natural irreflective happiness
of childhood, it will close in the reasoned tranquillity of the mature
mind. How many a time, after long labour on some piece of writing,
brought at length to its conclusion, have I laid down the pen with a
sigh of thankfulness; the work was full of faults, but I had wrought
sincerely, had done what time and circumstance and my own nature permitted.
Even so may it be with me in my last hour. May I look back on
life as a long task duly completed—a piece of biography; faulty
enough, but good as I could make it—and, with no thought but one
of contentment, welcome the repose to follow when I have breathed the
word “Finis.”</p>
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