<p> <SPAN name="5"></SPAN></p>
<p> </p>
<h3>THIMBLE, THIMBLE</h3>
<p> </p>
<p>These are the directions for finding the office of Carteret &
Carteret, Mill Supplies and Leather Belting:</p>
<p>You follow the Broadway trail down until you pass the Crosstown
Line, the Bread Line, and the Dead Line, and come to the Big
Cañons of the Moneygrubber Tribe. Then you turn to the left, to
the right, dodge a push-cart and the tongue of a two-ton
four-horse dray and hop, skip, and jump to a granite ledge on the
side of a twenty-one-story synthetic mountain of stone and iron.
In the twelfth story is the office of Carteret & Carteret. The
factory where they make the mill supplies and leather belting is
in Brooklyn. Those commodities—to say nothing of Brooklyn—not
being of interest to you, let us hold the incidents within the
confines of a one-act, one-scene play, thereby lessening the toil
of the reader and the expenditure of the publisher. So, if you
have the courage to face four pages of type and Carteret &
Carteret's office boy, Percival, you shall sit on a varnished
chair in the inner office and peep at the little comedy of the Old
Nigger Man, the Hunting-Case Watch, and the Open-Faced
Question—mostly borrowed from the late Mr. Frank Stockton, as you
will conclude.</p>
<p>First, biography (but pared to the quick) must intervene. I am for
the inverted sugar-coated quinine pill—the bitter on the outside.</p>
<p>The Carterets were, or was (Columbia College professors please
rule), an old Virginia family. Long time ago the gentlemen of the
family had worn lace ruffles and carried tinless foils and owned
plantations and had slaves to burn. But the war had greatly
reduced their holdings. (Of course you can perceive at once that
this flavor has been shoplifted from Mr. F. Hopkinson Smith, in
spite of the "et" after "Carter.") Well, anyhow:</p>
<p>In digging up the Carteret history I shall not take you farther
back than the year 1620. The two original American Carterets came
over in that year, but by different means of transportation. One
brother, named John, came in the <i>Mayflower</i> and became a Pilgrim
Father. You've seen his picture on the covers of the Thanksgiving
magazines, hunting turkeys in the deep snow with a blunderbuss.
Blandford Carteret, the other brother, crossed the pond in his own
brigantine, landed on the Virginia coast, and became an F. F. V.
John became distinguished for piety and shrewdness in business;
Blandford for his pride, juleps; marksmanship, and vast
slave-cultivated plantations.</p>
<p>Then came the Civil War. (I must condense this historical
interpolation.) Stonewall Jackson was shot; Lee surrendered; Grant
toured the world; cotton went to nine cents; Old Crow whiskey and
Jim Crow cars were invented; the Seventy-ninth Massachusetts
Volunteers returned to the Ninety-seventh Alabama Zouaves the
battle flag of Lundy's Lane which they bought at a second-hand
store in Chelsea, kept by a man named Skzchnzski; Georgia sent the
President a sixty-pound watermelon—and that brings us up to the
time when the story begins. My! but that was sparring for an
opening! I really must brush op on my Aristotle.</p>
<p>The Yankee Carterets went into business in New York long before
the war. Their house, as far as Leather Belting and Mill Supplies
was concerned, was as musty and arrogant and solid as one of those
old East India tea-importing concerns that you read about in
Dickens. There were some rumors of a war behind its counters, but
not enough to affect the business.</p>
<p>During and after the war, Blandford Carteret, F.F.V., lost his
plantations, juleps, marksmanship, and life. He bequeathed little
more than his pride to his surviving family. So it came to pass
that Blandford Carteret, the Fifth, aged fifteen, was invited by
the leather-and-mill-supplies branch of that name to come North
and learn business instead of hunting foxes and boasting of the
glory of his fathers on the reduced acres of his impoverished
family. The boy jumped at the chance; and, at the age of
twenty-five, sat in the office of the firm equal partner with
John, the Fifth, of the blunderbuss-and-turkey branch. Here the
story begins again.</p>
<p>The young men were about the same age, smooth of face, alert, easy
of manner, and with an air that promised mental and physical
quickness. They were razored, blue-serged, straw-hatted, and pearl
stick-pinned like other young New Yorkers who might be
millionaires or bill clerks.</p>
<p>One afternoon at four o'clock, in the private office of the firm,
Blandford Carteret opened a letter that a clerk had just brought
to his desk. After reading it, he chuckled audibly for nearly a
minute. John looked around from his desk inquiringly.</p>
<p>"It's from mother," said Blandford. "I'll read you the funny part
of it. She tells me all the neighborhood news first, of course,
and then cautions me against getting my feet wet and musical
comedies. After that come vital statistics about calves and pigs
and an estimate of the wheat crop. And now I'll quote some:</p>
<p>"'And what do you think! Old Uncle Jake, who was seventy-six last
Wednesday, must go travelling. Nothing would do but he must go to
New York and see his "young Marster Blandford." Old as he is, he
has a deal of common sense, so I've let him go. I couldn't refuse
him—he seemed to have concentrated all his hopes and desires into
this one adventure into the wide world. You know he was born on
the plantation, and has never been ten miles away from it in his
life. And he was your father's body servant during the war, and
has been always a faithful vassal and servant of the family. He
has often seen the gold watch—the watch that was your father's
and your father's father's. I told him it was to be yours, And he
begged me to allow him to take it to you and to put it into your
hands himself.</p>
<p>"'So he has it, carefully enclosed in a buck-skin case, and is
bringing it to you with all the pride and importance of a king's
messenger. I gave him money for the round trip and for a two
weeks' stay in the city. I wish you would see to it that he gets
comfortable quarters—Jake won't need much looking after—he's
able to take care of himself. But I have read in the papers that
African bishops and colored potentates generally have much trouble
in obtaining food and lodging in the Yankee metropolis. That may
be all right; but I don't see why the best hotel there shouldn't
take Jake in. Still, I suppose it's a rule.</p>
<p>"'I gave him full directions about finding you, and packed his
valise myself. You won't have to bother with him; but I do hope
you'll see that he is made comfortable. Take the watch that he
brings you—it's almost a decoration. It has been worn by true
Carterets, and there isn't a stain upon it nor a false movement of
the wheels. Bringing it to you is the crowning joy of old Jake's
life. I wanted him to have that little outing and that happiness
before it is too late. You have often heard us talk about how
Jake, pretty badly wounded himself, crawled through the reddened
grass at Chancellorsville to where your father lay with the bullet
in his dear heart, and took the watch from his pocket to keep it
from the "Yanks."</p>
<p>"'So, my son, when the old man comes consider him as a frail but
worthy messenger from the old-time life and home.</p>
<p>"'You have been so long away from home and so long among the
people that we have always regarded as aliens that I'm not sure
that Jake will know you when he sees you. But Jake has a keen
perception, and I rather believe that he will know a Virginia
Carteret at sight. I can't conceive that even ten years in
Yankee-land could change a boy of mine. Anyhow, I'm sure you will
know Jake. I put eighteen collars in his valise. If he should have
to buy others, he wears a number 15½. Please see that he gets the
right ones. He will be no trouble to you at all.</p>
<p>"'If you are not too busy, I'd like for you to find him a place to
board where they have white-meal corn-bread, and try to keep him
from taking his shoes off in your office or on the street. His
right foot swells a little, and he likes to be comfortable.</p>
<p>"'If you can spare the time, count his handkerchiefs when they
come back from the wash. I bought him a dozen new ones before he
left. He should be there about the time this letter reaches you. I
told him to go straight to your office when he arrives.'"</p>
<p>As soon as Blandford had finished the reading of this, something
happened (as there should happen in stories and must happen on the
stage).</p>
<p>Percival, the office boy, with his air of despising the world's
output of mill supplies and leather belting, came in to announce
that a colored gentleman was outside to see Mr. Blandford
Carteret.</p>
<p>"Bring him in," said Blandford, rising.</p>
<p>John Carteret swung around in his chair and said to Percival: "Ask
him to wait a few minutes outside. We'll let you know when to
bring him in."</p>
<p>Then he turned to his cousin with one of those broad, slow smiles
that was an inheritance of all the Carterets, and said:</p>
<p>"Bland, I've always had a consuming curiosity to understand the
differences that you haughty Southerners believe to exist between
'you all' and the people of the North. Of course, I know that you
consider yourselves made out of finer clay and look upon Adam as
only a collateral branch of your ancestry; but I don't know why. I
never could understand the differences between us."</p>
<p>"Well, John," said Blandford, laughing, "what you don't understand
about it is just the difference, of course. I suppose it was the
feudal way in which we lived that gave us our lordly baronial airs
and feeling of superiority."</p>
<p>"But you are not feudal, now," went on John. "Since we licked you
and stole your cotton and mules you've had to go to work just as
we 'damyankees,' as you call us, have always been doing. And
you're just as proud and exclusive and upper-classy as you were
before the war. So it wasn't your money that caused it."</p>
<p>"Maybe it was the climate," said Blandford, lightly, "or maybe our
negroes spoiled us. I'll call old Jake in, now. I'll be glad to
see the old villain again."</p>
<p>"Wait just a moment," said John. "I've got a little theory I want
to test. You and I are pretty much alike in our general
appearance. Old Jake hasn't seen you since you were fifteen. Let's
have him in and play fair and see which of us gets the watch. The
old darky surely ought to be able to pick out his 'young marster'
without any trouble. The alleged aristocratic superiority of a
'reb' ought to be visible to him at once. He couldn't make the
mistake of handing over the timepiece to a Yankee, of course. The
loser buys the dinner this evening and two dozen 15½ collars for
Jake. Is it a go?"</p>
<p>Blandford agreed heartily. Percival was summoned, and told to
usher the "colored gentleman" in.</p>
<p>Uncle Jake stepped inside the private office cautiously. He was a
little old man, as black as soot, wrinkled and bald except for a
fringe of white wool, cut decorously short, that ran over his ears
and around his head. There was nothing of the stage "uncle" about
him: his black suit nearly fitted him; his shoes shone, and his
straw hat was banded with a gaudy ribbon. In his right hand he
carried something carefully concealed by his closed fingers.</p>
<p>Uncle Jake stopped a few steps from the door. Two young men sat in
their revolving desk-chairs ten feet apart and looked at him in
friendly silence. His gaze slowly shifted many times from one to
the other. He felt sure that he was in the presence of one, at
least, of the revered family among whose fortunes his life had
begun and was to end.</p>
<p>One had the pleasing but haughty Carteret air; the other had the
unmistakable straight, long family nose. Both had the keen black
eyes, horizontal brows, and thin, smiling lips that had
distinguished both the Carteret of the <i>Mayflower</i> and him of the
brigantine. Old Jake had thought that he could have picked out his
young master instantly from a thousand Northerners; but he found
himself in difficulties. The best he could do was to use strategy.</p>
<p>"Howdy, Marse Blandford—howdy, suh?" he said, looking midway
between the two young men.</p>
<p>"Howdy, Uncle Jake?" they both answered pleasantly and in unison.
"Sit down. Have you brought the watch?"</p>
<p>Uncle Jake chose a hard-bottom chair at a respectful distance, sat
on the edge of it, and laid his hat carefully on the floor. The
watch in its buckskin case he gripped tightly. He had not risked
his life on the battle-field to rescue that watch from his "old
marster's" foes to hand it over again to the enemy without a
struggle.</p>
<p>"Yes, suh; I got it in my hand, suh. I'm gwine give it to you
right away in jus' a minute. Old Missus told me to put it in young
Marse Blandford's hand and tell him to wear it for the family
pride and honor. It was a mighty longsome trip for an old nigger
man to make—ten thousand miles, it must be, back to old Vi'ginia,
suh. You've growed mightily, young marster. I wouldn't have
reconnized you but for yo' powerful resemblance to old marster."</p>
<p>With admirable diplomacy the old man kept his eyes roaming in the
space between the two men. His words might have been addressed to
either. Though neither wicked nor perverse, he was seeking for a
sign.</p>
<p>Blandford and John exchanged winks.</p>
<p>"I reckon you done got you ma's letter," went on Uncle Jake. "She
said she was gwine to write to you 'bout my comin' along up this
er-way.</p>
<p>"Yes, yes, Uncle Jake," said John briskly. "My cousin and I have
just been notified to expect you. We are both Carterets, you
know."</p>
<p>"Although one of us," said Blandford, "was born and raised in the
North."</p>
<p>"So if you will hand over the watch—" said John.</p>
<p>"My cousin and I—" said Blandford.</p>
<p>"Will then see to it—" said John.</p>
<p>"That comfortable quarters are found for you," said Blandford.</p>
<p>With creditable ingenuity, old Jake set up a cackling,
high-pitched, protracted laugh. He beat his knee, picked up his
hat and bent the brim in an apparent paroxysm of humorous
appreciation. The seizure afforded him a mask behind which he
could roll his eyes impartially between, above, and beyond his two
tormentors.</p>
<p>"I sees what!" he chuckled, after a while. "You gen'lemen is
tryin' to have fun with the po' old nigger. But you can't fool old
Jake. I knowed you, Marse Blandford, the minute I sot eyes on you.
You was a po' skimpy little boy no mo' than about fo'teen when you
lef' home to come No'th; but I knowed you the minute I sot eyes on
you. You is the mawtal image of old marster. The other gen'leman
resembles you mightily, suh; but you can't fool old Jake on a
member of the old Vi'ginia family. No suh."</p>
<p>At exactly the same time both Carterets smiled and extended a hand
for the watch.</p>
<p>Uncle Jake's wrinkled, black face lost the expression of amusement
to which he had vainly twisted it. He knew that he was being
teased, and that it made little real difference, as far as its
safety went, into which of those outstretched hands he placed the
family treasure. But it seemed to him that not only his own pride
and loyalty but much of the Virginia Carterets' was at stake. He
had heard down South during the war about that other branch of the
family that lived in the North and fought on "the yuther side,"
and it had always grieved him. He had followed his "old marster's"
fortunes from stately luxury through war to almost poverty. And
now, with the last relic and reminder of him, blessed by "old
missus," and intrusted implicitly to his care, he had come ten
thousand miles (as it seemed) to deliver it into the hands of the
one who was to wear it and wind it and cherish it and listen to it
tick off the unsullied hours that marked the lives of the
Carterets—of Virginia.</p>
<p>His experience and conception of the Yankees had been an
impression of tyrants—"low-down, common trash"—in blue, laying
waste with fire and sword. He had seen the smoke of many burning
homesteads almost as grand as Carteret Hall ascending to the
drowsy Southern skies. And now he was face to face with one of
them—and he could not distinguish him from his "young marster"
whom he had come to find and bestow upon him the emblem of his
kingship—even as the arm "clothed in white samite, mystic,
wonderful" laid Excalibur in the right hand of Arthur. He saw
before him two young men, easy, kind, courteous, welcoming, either
of whom might have been the one he sought. Troubled, bewildered,
sorely grieved at his weakness of judgment, old Jake abandoned his
loyal subterfuges. His right hand sweated against the buckskin
cover of the watch. He was deeply humiliated and chastened.
Seriously, now, his prominent, yellow-white eyes closely scanned
the two young men. At the end of his scrutiny he was conscious of
but one difference between them. One wore a narrow black tie with
a white pearl stickpin. The other's "four-in-hand" was a narrow
blue one pinned with a black pearl.</p>
<p>And then, to old Jake's relief, there came a sudden distraction.
Drama knocked at the door with imperious knuckles, and forced
Comedy to the wings, and Drama peeped with a smiling but set face
over the footlights.</p>
<p>Percival, the hater of mill supplies, brought in a card, which he
handed, with the manner of one bearing a cartel, to Blue-Tie.</p>
<p>"Olivia De Ormond," read Blue-Tie from the card. He looked
inquiringly at his cousin.</p>
<p>"Why not have her in," said Black-Tie, "and bring matters to a
conclusion?"</p>
<p>"Uncle Jake," said one of the young men, "would you mind taking
that chair over there in the corner for a while? A lady is coming
in—on some business. We'll take up your case afterward."</p>
<p>The lady whom Percival ushered in was young and petulantly,
decidedly, freshly, consciously, and intentionally pretty. She was
dressed with such expensive plainness that she made you consider
lace and ruffles as mere tatters and rags. But one great ostrich
plume that she wore would have marked her anywhere in the army of
beauty as the wearer of the merry helmet of Navarre.</p>
<p>Miss De Ormond accepted the swivel chair at Blue-Tie's desk. Then
the gentlemen drew leather-upholstered seats conveniently near,
and spoke of the weather.</p>
<p>"Yes," said she, "I noticed it was warmer. But I mustn't take up
too much of your time during business hours. That is," she
continued, "unless we talk business."</p>
<p>She addressed her words to Blue-Tie, with a charming smile.</p>
<p>"Very well," said he. "You don't mind my cousin being present, do
you? We are generally rather confidential with each
other—especially in business matters."</p>
<p>"Oh no," caroled Miss De Ormond. "I'd rather he did hear. He knows
all about it, anyhow. In fact, he's quite a material witness
because he was present when you—when it happened. I thought you
might want to talk things over before—well, before any action is
taken, as I believe the lawyers say."</p>
<p>"Have you anything in the way of a proposition to make?" asked
Black-Tie.</p>
<p>Miss De Ormond looked reflectively at the neat toe of one of her
dull kid-pumps.</p>
<p>"I had a proposal made to me," she said. "If the proposal sticks
it cuts out the proposition. Let's have that settled first."</p>
<p>"Well, as far as—" began Blue-Tie.</p>
<p>"Excuse me, cousin," interrupted Black-Tie, "if you don't mind my
cutting in." And then he turned, with a good-natured air, toward
the lady.</p>
<p>"Now, let's recapitulate a bit," he said cheerfully. "All three of
us, besides other mutual acquaintances, have been out on a good
many larks together."</p>
<p>"I'm afraid I'll have to call the birds by another name," said
Miss De Ormond.</p>
<p>"All right," responded Black-Tie, with unimpaired cheerfulness;
"suppose we say 'squabs' when we talk about the 'proposal' and
'larks' when we discuss the 'proposition.' You have a quick mind,
Miss De Ormond. Two months ago some half-dozen of us went in a
motor-car for a day's run into the country. We stopped at a
road-house for dinner. My cousin proposed marriage to you then and
there. He was influenced to do so, of course, by the beauty and
charm which no one can deny that you possess."</p>
<p>"I wish I had you for a press agent, Mr. Carteret," said the
beauty, with a dazzling smile.</p>
<p>"You are on the stage, Miss De Ormond," went on Black-Tie. "You
have had, doubtless, many admirers, and perhaps other proposals.
You must remember, too, that we were a party of merrymakers on
that occasion. There were a good many corks pulled. That the
proposal of marriage was made to you by my cousin we cannot deny.
But hasn't it been your experience that, by common consent, such
things lose their seriousness when viewed in the next day's
sunlight? Isn't there something of a 'code' among good 'sports'—I
use the word in its best sense—that wipes out each day the
follies of the evening previous?"</p>
<p>"Oh yes," said Miss De Ormond. "I know that very well. And I've
always played up to it. But as you seem to be conducting the
case—with the silent consent of the defendant—I'll tell you
something more. I've got letters from him repeating the proposal.
And they're signed, too."</p>
<p>"I understand," said Black-Tie gravely. "What's your price for the
letters?"</p>
<p>"I'm not a cheap one," said Miss De Ormond. "But I had decided to
make you a rate. You both belong to a swell family. Well, if I <i>am</i>
on the stage nobody can say a word against me truthfully. And the
money is only a secondary consideration. It isn't the money I was
after. I—I believed him—and—and I liked him."</p>
<p>She cast a soft, entrancing glance at Blue-Tie from under her long
eyelashes.</p>
<p>"And the price?" went on Black-Tie, inexorably.</p>
<p>"Ten thousand dollars," said the lady, sweetly.</p>
<p>"Or—"</p>
<p>"Or the fulfillment of the engagement to marry."</p>
<p>"I think it is time," interrupted Blue-Tie, "for me to be allowed
to say a word or two. You and I, cousin, belong to a family that
has held its head pretty high. You have been brought up in a
section of the country very different from the one where our
branch of the family lived. Yet both of us are Carterets, even if
some of our ways and theories differ. You remember, it is a
tradition of the family, that no Carteret ever failed in chivalry
to a lady or failed to keep his word when it was given."</p>
<p>Then Blue-Tie, with frank decision showing on his countenance,
turned to Miss De Ormond.</p>
<p>"Olivia," said he, "on what date will you marry me?"</p>
<p>Before she could answer, Black-Tie again interposed.</p>
<p>"It is a long journey," said he, "from Plymouth rock to Norfolk
Bay. Between the two points we find the changes that nearly three
centuries have brought. In that time the old order has changed. We
no longer burn witches or torture slaves. And to-day we neither
spread our cloaks on the mud for ladies to walk over nor treat
them to the ducking-stool. It is the age of common sense,
adjustment, and proportion. All of us—ladies, gentlemen, women,
men, Northerners, Southerners, lords, caitiffs, actors,
hardware-drummers, senators, hod-carriers, and politicians—are
coming to a better understanding. Chivalry is one of our words
that changes its meaning every day. Family pride is a thing of
many constructions—it may show itself by maintaining a moth-eaten
arrogance in a cobwebbed Colonial mansion or by the prompt paying
of one's debts.</p>
<p>"Now, I suppose you've had enough of my monologue. I've learned
something of business and a little of life; and I somehow believe,
cousin, that our great-great-grandfathers, the original Carterets,
would indorse my view of this matter."</p>
<p>Black-Tie wheeled around to his desk, wrote in a check-book and
tore out the check, the sharp rasp of the perforated leaf making
the only sound in the room. He laid the check within easy reach of
Miss De Ormond's hand.</p>
<p>"Business is business," said he. "We live in a business age. There
is my personal check for $10,000. What do you say, Miss De
Ormond—will it he orange blossoms or cash?"</p>
<p>Miss De Ormond picked up the cheek carelessly, folded it
indifferently, and stuffed it into her glove.</p>
<p>"Oh, this'll do," she said, calmly. "I just thought I'd call and
put it up to you. I guess you people are all right. But a girl has
feelings, you know. I've heard one of you was a Southerner—I
wonder which one of you it is?"</p>
<p>She arose, smiled sweetly, and walked to the door. There, with a
flash of white teeth and a dip of the heavy plume, she
disappeared.</p>
<p>Both of the cousins had forgotten Uncle Jake for the time. But now
they heard the shuffling of his shoes as he came across the rug
toward them from his seat in the corner.</p>
<p>"Young marster," he said, "take yo' watch."</p>
<p>And without hesitation he laid the ancient timepiece in the hand
of its rightful owner.</p>
<p> </p>
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