<h2><SPAN name="chap28"></SPAN>CHAPTER XXVIII.</h2>
<p>There is no need of going into an extended recital of our suffering in the
small boat during the many days we were driven and drifted, here and there,
willy-nilly, across the ocean. The high wind blew from the north-west for
twenty-four hours, when it fell calm, and in the night sprang up from the
south-west. This was dead in our teeth, but I took in the sea-anchor and set
sail, hauling a course on the wind which took us in a south-south-easterly
direction. It was an even choice between this and the west-north-westerly
course which the wind permitted; but the warm airs of the south fanned my
desire for a warmer sea and swayed my decision.</p>
<p>In three hours—it was midnight, I well remember, and as dark as I had
ever seen it on the sea—the wind, still blowing out of the south-west,
rose furiously, and once again I was compelled to set the sea-anchor.</p>
<p>Day broke and found me wan-eyed and the ocean lashed white, the boat pitching,
almost on end, to its drag. We were in imminent danger of being swamped by the
whitecaps. As it was, spray and spume came aboard in such quantities that I
bailed without cessation. The blankets were soaking. Everything was wet except
Maud, and she, in oilskins, rubber boots, and sou’wester, was dry, all
but her face and hands and a stray wisp of hair. She relieved me at the
bailing-hole from time to time, and bravely she threw out the water and faced
the storm. All things are relative. It was no more than a stiff blow, but to
us, fighting for life in our frail craft, it was indeed a storm.</p>
<p>Cold and cheerless, the wind beating on our faces, the white seas roaring by,
we struggled through the day. Night came, but neither of us slept. Day came,
and still the wind beat on our faces and the white seas roared past. By the
second night Maud was falling asleep from exhaustion. I covered her with
oilskins and a tarpaulin. She was comparatively dry, but she was numb with the
cold. I feared greatly that she might die in the night; but day broke, cold and
cheerless, with the same clouded sky and beating wind and roaring seas.</p>
<p>I had had no sleep for forty-eight hours. I was wet and chilled to the marrow,
till I felt more dead than alive. My body was stiff from exertion as well as
from cold, and my aching muscles gave me the severest torture whenever I used
them, and I used them continually. And all the time we were being driven off
into the north-east, directly away from Japan and toward bleak Bering Sea.</p>
<p>And still we lived, and the boat lived, and the wind blew unabated. In fact,
toward nightfall of the third day it increased a trifle and something more. The
boat’s bow plunged under a crest, and we came through quarter-full of
water. I bailed like a madman. The liability of shipping another such sea was
enormously increased by the water that weighed the boat down and robbed it of
its buoyancy. And another such sea meant the end. When I had the boat empty
again I was forced to take away the tarpaulin which covered Maud, in order that
I might lash it down across the bow. It was well I did, for it covered the boat
fully a third of the way aft, and three times, in the next several hours, it
flung off the bulk of the down-rushing water when the bow shoved under the
seas.</p>
<p>Maud’s condition was pitiable. She sat crouched in the bottom of the
boat, her lips blue, her face grey and plainly showing the pain she suffered.
But ever her eyes looked bravely at me, and ever her lips uttered brave words.</p>
<p>The worst of the storm must have blown that night, though little I noticed it.
I had succumbed and slept where I sat in the stern-sheets. The morning of the
fourth day found the wind diminished to a gentle whisper, the sea dying down
and the sun shining upon us. Oh, the blessed sun! How we bathed our poor bodies
in its delicious warmth, reviving like bugs and crawling things after a storm.
We smiled again, said amusing things, and waxed optimistic over our situation.
Yet it was, if anything, worse than ever. We were farther from Japan than the
night we left the <i>Ghost</i>. Nor could I more than roughly guess our
latitude and longitude. At a calculation of a two-mile drift per hour, during
the seventy and odd hours of the storm, we had been driven at least one hundred
and fifty miles to the north-east. But was such calculated drift correct? For
all I knew, it might have been four miles per hour instead of two. In which
case we were another hundred and fifty miles to the bad.</p>
<p>Where we were I did not know, though there was quite a likelihood that we were
in the vicinity of the <i>Ghost</i>. There were seals about us, and I was
prepared to sight a sealing-schooner at any time. We did sight one, in the
afternoon, when the north-west breeze had sprung up freshly once more. But the
strange schooner lost itself on the sky-line and we alone occupied the circle
of the sea.</p>
<p>Came days of fog, when even Maud’s spirit drooped and there were no merry
words upon her lips; days of calm, when we floated on the lonely immensity of
sea, oppressed by its greatness and yet marvelling at the miracle of tiny life,
for we still lived and struggled to live; days of sleet and wind and
snow-squalls, when nothing could keep us warm; or days of drizzling rain, when
we filled our water-breakers from the drip of the wet sail.</p>
<p>And ever I loved Maud with an increasing love. She was so many-sided, so
many-mooded—“protean-mooded” I called her. But I called her
this, and other and dearer things, in my thoughts only. Though the declaration
of my love urged and trembled on my tongue a thousand times, I knew that it was
no time for such a declaration. If for no other reason, it was no time, when
one was protecting and trying to save a woman, to ask that woman for her love.
Delicate as was the situation, not alone in this but in other ways, I flattered
myself that I was able to deal delicately with it; and also I flattered myself
that by look or sign I gave no advertisement of the love I felt for her. We
were like good comrades, and we grew better comrades as the days went by.</p>
<p>One thing about her which surprised me was her lack of timidity and fear. The
terrible sea, the frail boat, the storms, the suffering, the strangeness and
isolation of the situation,—all that should have frightened a robust
woman,—seemed to make no impression upon her who had known life only in
its most sheltered and consummately artificial aspects, and who was herself all
fire and dew and mist, sublimated spirit, all that was soft and tender and
clinging in woman. And yet I am wrong. She <i>was</i> timid and afraid, but she
possessed courage. The flesh and the qualms of the flesh she was heir to, but
the flesh bore heavily only on the flesh. And she was spirit, first and always
spirit, etherealized essence of life, calm as her calm eyes, and sure of
permanence in the changing order of the universe.</p>
<p>Came days of storm, days and nights of storm, when the ocean menaced us with
its roaring whiteness, and the wind smote our struggling boat with a
Titan’s buffets. And ever we were flung off, farther and farther, to the
north-east. It was in such a storm, and the worst that we had experienced, that
I cast a weary glance to leeward, not in quest of anything, but more from the
weariness of facing the elemental strife, and in mute appeal, almost, to the
wrathful powers to cease and let us be. What I saw I could not at first
believe. Days and nights of sleeplessness and anxiety had doubtless turned my
head. I looked back at Maud, to identify myself, as it were, in time and space.
The sight of her dear wet cheeks, her flying hair, and her brave brown eyes
convinced me that my vision was still healthy. Again I turned my face to
leeward, and again I saw the jutting promontory, black and high and naked, the
raging surf that broke about its base and beat its front high up with spouting
fountains, the black and forbidding coast-line running toward the south-east and
fringed with a tremendous scarf of white.</p>
<p>“Maud,” I said. “Maud.”</p>
<p>She turned her head and beheld the sight.</p>
<p>“It cannot be Alaska!” she cried.</p>
<p>“Alas, no,” I answered, and asked, “Can you swim?”</p>
<p>She shook her head.</p>
<p>“Neither can I,” I said. “So we must get ashore without
swimming, in some opening between the rocks through which we can drive the boat
and clamber out. But we must be quick, most quick—and sure.”</p>
<p>I spoke with a confidence she knew I did not feel, for she looked at me with
that unfaltering gaze of hers and said:</p>
<p>“I have not thanked you yet for all you have done for me
but—”</p>
<p>She hesitated, as if in doubt how best to word her gratitude.</p>
<p>“Well?” I said, brutally, for I was not quite pleased with her
thanking me.</p>
<p>“You might help me,” she smiled.</p>
<p>“To acknowledge your obligations before you die? Not at all. We are not
going to die. We shall land on that island, and we shall be snug and sheltered
before the day is done.”</p>
<p>I spoke stoutly, but I did not believe a word. Nor was I prompted to lie
through fear. I felt no fear, though I was sure of death in that boiling surge
amongst the rocks which was rapidly growing nearer. It was impossible to hoist
sail and claw off that shore. The wind would instantly capsize the boat; the
seas would swamp it the moment it fell into the trough; and, besides, the sail,
lashed to the spare oars, dragged in the sea ahead of us.</p>
<p>As I say, I was not afraid to meet my own death, there, a few hundred yards to
leeward; but I was appalled at the thought that Maud must die. My cursed
imagination saw her beaten and mangled against the rocks, and it was too
terrible. I strove to compel myself to think we would make the landing safely,
and so I spoke, not what I believed, but what I preferred to believe.</p>
<p>I recoiled before contemplation of that frightful death, and for a moment I
entertained the wild idea of seizing Maud in my arms and leaping overboard.
Then I resolved to wait, and at the last moment, when we entered on the final
stretch, to take her in my arms and proclaim my love, and, with her in my
embrace, to make the desperate struggle and die.</p>
<p>Instinctively we drew closer together in the bottom of the boat. I felt her
mittened hand come out to mine. And thus, without speech, we waited the end. We
were not far off the line the wind made with the western edge of the
promontory, and I watched in the hope that some set of the current or send of
the sea would drift us past before we reached the surf.</p>
<p>“We shall go clear,” I said, with a confidence which I knew
deceived neither of us.</p>
<p>“By God, we <i>will</i> go clear!” I cried, five minutes later.</p>
<p>The oath left my lips in my excitement—the first, I do believe, in my
life, unless “trouble it,” an expletive of my youth, be accounted
an oath.</p>
<p>“I beg your pardon,” I said.</p>
<p>“You have convinced me of your sincerity,” she said, with a faint
smile. “I do know, now, that we shall go clear.”</p>
<p>I had seen a distant headland past the extreme edge of the promontory, and as
we looked we could see grow the intervening coastline of what was evidently a
deep cove. At the same time there broke upon our ears a continuous and mighty
bellowing. It partook of the magnitude and volume of distant thunder, and it
came to us directly from leeward, rising above the crash of the surf and
travelling directly in the teeth of the storm. As we passed the point the whole
cove burst upon our view, a half-moon of white sandy beach upon which broke a
huge surf, and which was covered with myriads of seals. It was from them that
the great bellowing went up.</p>
<p>“A rookery!” I cried. “Now are we indeed saved. There must be
men and cruisers to protect them from the seal-hunters. Possibly there is a
station ashore.”</p>
<p>But as I studied the surf which beat upon the beach, I said, “Still bad,
but not so bad. And now, if the gods be truly kind, we shall drift by that next
headland and come upon a perfectly sheltered beach, where we may land without
wetting our feet.”</p>
<p>And the gods were kind. The first and second headlands were directly in line
with the south-west wind; but once around the second,—and we went
perilously near,—we picked up the third headland, still in line with the
wind and with the other two. But the cove that intervened! It penetrated deep
into the land, and the tide, setting in, drifted us under the shelter of the
point. Here the sea was calm, save for a heavy but smooth ground-swell, and I
took in the sea-anchor and began to row. From the point the shore curved away,
more and more to the south and west, until at last it disclosed a cove within
the cove, a little land-locked harbour, the water level as a pond, broken only
by tiny ripples where vagrant breaths and wisps of the storm hurtled down from
over the frowning wall of rock that backed the beach a hundred feet inshore.</p>
<p>Here were no seals whatever. The boat’s stern touched the hard shingle. I
sprang out, extending my hand to Maud. The next moment she was beside me. As my
fingers released hers, she clutched for my arm hastily. At the same moment I
swayed, as about to fall to the sand. This was the startling effect of the
cessation of motion. We had been so long upon the moving, rocking sea that the
stable land was a shock to us. We expected the beach to lift up this way and
that, and the rocky walls to swing back and forth like the sides of a ship; and
when we braced ourselves, automatically, for these various expected movements,
their non-occurrence quite overcame our equilibrium.</p>
<p>“I really must sit down,” Maud said, with a nervous laugh and a
dizzy gesture, and forthwith she sat down on the sand.</p>
<p>I attended to making the boat secure and joined her. Thus we landed on
Endeavour Island, as we came to it, land-sick from long custom of the sea.</p>
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